₦airaland Forum

WhiteIverson:
It's simple. Tell them to always return your properties after use. If they don't change, next time when they come to borrow, tell them it's not available.

I remember that year in my lodge, some guys always come to borrow my camp gas and would never return it after use. I was always coming to collect it when I need it.
It was funny because other neighbours thought I was the one going to borrow gas not knowing I was going to retrieve it. Even worse my flat was upstairs and theirs was downstairs, so imagine the waka.

One day I para for them, after that shame no gree them come borrow again.

Squere:
Honestly, it's annoying

Squere:
In life, one must learn to tolerate people for peace to reign. Though peace is not necessarily the absence of conflict. But managing conflict is crucial and critical to harmonious coexistence amongst people especially your immediate neighbors.
As an introvert, I like being alone and try as much as I can to avoid issues. Whenever I perceive trouble looming, I do everything to avert it. I believe in building good relationships with people cos nobody knows tommorow. Besides, your neighbors are like your security, they help watch over you. In fact they are your first family.
I have a neighbor who is doing pretty better than me. He and his girlfriend(a live-in lover) come to borrow stuffs from me. Sometimes, little money. Most times, household equipments and electrical appliances. But when they do, they fail to return them. As for the little money they come to borrow, they don't return it and I also don't ask. My major issue is my pressing iron and Mortar. Once they come to get my mortar, they don't return it after use. I will have to go get it from them before I can cook. They have NEVER borrowed and returned without me going by myself to collect it back. There are times I go and not meet anyone of them at home, then I get stranded and unable to cook my food. I don't use powdered pepper to cook, it's fresh pepper, onion and crayfish I pound whenever I'm cooking, and sometimes, okpehe. Same issue with the pressing iron. We all know how NEPA operate. Nobody knows when the lights will come on or go off, so whenever there's light, I try to iron a few clothes. But most times, I won't be able to do so because the iron is locked inside their room and they are not home. This attitude of theirs is really pissing me off. Mind you, I don't have any issue giving my things to neighbors. My only issue is why don't they return it after use? These are adults who are way older than me for crying out loud. I'm not good at handling issues with diplomacy whenever I'm angry. I just blow up whenever I've had it to the brim.
There was a day I needed to iron a dress for work, Its a dress code for a particular day. I had returned home late that day and forgot the pressing iron was with me and I slept off. When the light was restored in the middle of the night, I woke up to get the clothes ironed but remembered they had borrowed my iron the previous day. I couldn't go to wake them up that night and before daybreak, NEPA had seized the light. I ended up not using the dress code meant for that day, my boss issued me a query and also fined me for flouting the rule.
As I write, my mortar is still with them and has being with them for a week now. I'm planning on retrieving it soon and once I do, I will never give them again. Leaving the mortar with them means they know I don't cook always and I see it as me allowing them to know too much of me. I have a girlfriend who's a baby mama that comes around once in a while and she's really not happy about this. She said it's because I'm too gentle and soft that's why I'm being treated this way.

sisisioge:
Please follow his advise for your own sanity
Tops, they will carry face for you but life will go on. You don't need that kind of stress biko.

If you're determined to be too kind,get them a pressing iron and mortal as gift. If they ask you why,tell them you really do not like sharing things. Issue resolved fa.

Natbrowny:
One simple tiny step.

Act like a sadist

Most neighbors are users and will complain that you are not a good person when u dnt wanna be used no more

D issue be say una don too play.

In alll d places I've stayed. Omo na boundaries o. D only time wey we dey discuss na when we dey gather nepa money. We are on mature levels, greetings and regards. Thats all.. i no dey smile. People are users and Motherf*ckers will b d first to talk behind ur back if u wanna break dere using cycle

Pojomojo:
It sounds like you're dealing with a frustrating situation with your neighbors. They're borrowing your belongings, not returning them, and disrupting your daily life.

Key Issues:
1. Lack of respect for boundaries: Your neighbors are not respecting your property or your time.
2. Inconvenience and disruption: Their actions are causing you inconvenience, stress, and disruption to your daily routine.
3. Lack of communication and consideration: They're not communicating with you about when they'll return your belongings or considering how their actions might affect you.

Potential Solutions:
1. Communicate your concerns: Have an open and honest conversation with your neighbors about how their actions are affecting you. Try to use "I" statements instead of "you" statements, which can come across as accusatory.
2. Set clear boundaries: Let your neighbors know what you're willing and not willing to lend, and establish clear expectations for when they should return your belongings.
3. Consider a lending agreement: You could propose a lending agreement that outlines the terms of borrowing, including when items should be returned and in what condition.
4. Reevaluate the relationship: If your neighbors continue to disregard your boundaries and disrespect your property, it may be time to reassess the relationship and consider distancing yourself.

Personal Growth:
1. Assertiveness: Practice being more assertive and communicating your needs clearly.
2. Boundary setting: Establish and maintain healthy boundaries with others.
3. Conflict resolution: Develop skills for resolving conflicts in a constructive and respectful manner.

Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and consideration. Don't be afraid to advocate for yourself and prioritize your own needs.

Pojomojo:
Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and consideration. Don't be afraid to advocate for yourself and prioritize your own needs.

Squere:
Its not like I play or laugh. I'm just quite and easygoing. However, I'm going with your advice

Natbrowny:
The quiet and easy going types are the types that can easily switch to another personality.

I ain't bragging. But u do that and u'll be regarded even if na only greetings level.
When u see somtin dats not ur concern. Dont react. If dem wan make u yarn. Just drop any short words to escape. Avoid ur usual gatherings, avoid ''broda make we come play ludo na''

One thing is for certain. U'll have peace

We4all:
OP, the only part that aroused my interest was where you stated that your girlfriend is a baby mama. Baby mama to who kwa? Was that statement necessary? Unless you want some resident poknosers to start the bashing.

As for your neighbors, well... there is love in sharing.

We4all:
All these long grammar because of mortar and iron? Continue...

Squere:
Ok. Should I edit it then?

Ok. There's love in sharing. Could u pls share 5k with me? I honestly need it🙏

We4all:
But you are not broke. You even have assets like iron and mortar.

Squere:
Bro, you ignored where I said these people are doing pretty better than me financially. Except u don't want to help or u don't have. I sincerely need this help. Between God and man. Things hard now bro. Abeg

We4all:
You are broke because you have a kid you didn't plan for.

Squere:
In life, one must learn to tolerate people for peace to reign. Though peace is not necessarily the absence of conflict. But managing conflict is crucial and critical to harmonious coexistence amongst people especially your immediate neighbors.
As an introvert, I like being alone and try as much as I can to avoid issues. Whenever I perceive trouble looming, I do everything to avert it. I believe in building good relationships with people cos nobody knows tommorow. Besides, your neighbors are like your security, they help watch over you. In fact they are your first family.
I have a neighbor who is doing pretty better than me. He and his girlfriend(a live-in lover) come to borrow stuffs from me. Sometimes, little money. Most times, household equipments and electrical appliances. But when they do, they fail to return them. As for the little money they come to borrow, they don't return it and I also don't ask. My major issue is my pressing iron and Mortar. Once they come to get my mortar, they don't return it after use. I will have to go get it from them before I can cook. They have NEVER borrowed and returned without me going by myself to collect it back. There are times I go and not meet anyone of them at home, then I get stranded and unable to cook my food. I don't use powdered pepper to cook, it's fresh pepper, onion and crayfish I pound whenever I'm cooking, and sometimes, okpehe. Same issue with the pressing iron. We all know how NEPA operate. Nobody knows when the lights will come on or go off, so whenever there's light, I try to iron a few clothes. But most times, I won't be able to do so because the iron is locked inside their room and they are not home. This attitude of theirs is really pissing me off. Mind you, I don't have any issue giving my things to neighbors. My only issue is why don't they return it after use? These are adults who are way older than me for crying out loud. I'm not good at handling issues with diplomacy whenever I'm angry. I just blow up whenever I've had it to the brim.
There was a day I needed to iron a dress for work, Its a dress code for a particular day. I had returned home late that day and forgot the pressing iron was with me and I slept off. When the light was restored in the middle of the night, I woke up to get the clothes ironed but remembered they had borrowed my iron the previous day. I couldn't go to wake them up that night and before daybreak, NEPA had seized the light. I ended up not using the dress code meant for that day, my boss issued me a query and also fined me for flouting the rule.
As I write, my mortar is still with them and has being with them for a week now. I'm planning on retrieving it soon and once I do, I will never give them again. Leaving the mortar with them means they know I don't cook always and I see it as me allowing them to know too much of me. I have a girlfriend who's a baby mama that comes around once in a while and she's really not happy about this. She said it's because I'm too gentle and soft that's why I'm being treated this way.

I feel disrespected.

Squere:
Don't be stupid

bigl:
I quite understand u cos i was in about same condition in our former place ...

A woman in "its quite complicated relationship" with 2kids, earning more than our combined salaries will still come borrow money, pots etc ...

Infact, if her gas finish, she will bring her food to finish cooking ...

Till i put a stop to the rubbish then we became bad people but atleast, peace dey and i have access to my stuffs whenever i need em ...

Do not borrow them your iron again! And as per the money, stop borrowing them ... to retrieve the ones u don borrow them and dem no gree return, tell them to pay up all they've borrowed to have access to fresh borrowing and the moment dem pay up peren, lock the gates and face front!!!

Talk is cheap bro! Dem go talk tire and then, keep mute!!!

Its always good to be a bad person but have peace and be able to do live your life as u want it ...

Squere:
Thanks for taking out time out of your busy schedule to speak and convey your thoughts in the most simple, explicit and elaborate terms. You've said it all.

We4all:
It didn't take you long enough to show your true color.

We4all:
You are broke because you have a kid you didn't plan for.

Free2Fly:
He should have swallowed your insults just to maintain his "untrue" colour?
Let me join him to also say that you're very stupid.

Smilleydr:
so waiting bring this talk now?

Mumu!!! Him own still better pass your own, you even know may be you go ever have a child in your life

We4all:
Even animals have children, so it's not a big deal. Some people have kids and wished they never had one. Having a child requires extra planning, but all of you olodos are getting unnecessarily sentimental about hearing the truth.

Free2Fly:
That's ChatGPT write-up. He didn't take out his time to write anything
In fact, he's one of those lazy chaps out there who can't use their own minds and initiatives in anything.