My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety - Family - Nairaland
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| My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by VeryBoi(op): 1:12pm On Mar 17, 2025 |
I've always dreaded social gatherings, even as a kid. I remember skipping my primary school's end-of-year party, and that was just the beginning. Throughout secondary school, I struggled to do simple tasks, like participating in class or making friends. My mind was always racing, and my body would shake noticeably when I was nervous. This took a toll on my self-esteem. Despite being a bookworm and exceling academically, I was always quiet and reserved. My teachers recognized my potential, but my classmates thought I was deaf and dumb because of my silence. I recall a humiliating experience where I was asked to draw a skeleton on the board. My fear of being mocked and embarrassed was overwhelming, and, sure enough, my legs shook, and the class laughed at me. I confided in my dad, but he didn't take my concerns seriously and blamed me instead. Feeling defeated, I passed on the opportunity to attend university and instead worked as a sales boy. However, the constant mockery and ridicule I faced due to my social anxiety made it impossible for me to continue. Now, at 25 (almost 26!), I feel hopeless and tired. I've tried exercises to manage my anxiety, but nothing seems to work. My legs still shake when I'm standing, and people laugh at me. I'm desperate for help and guidance. Has anyone else experienced something similar? How did you overcome it? Please share your stories, advice, and support. |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by NotOfThisWorld(f): 1:59pm On Mar 17, 2025*. Modified: 3:43pm On Mar 17, 2025 |
You need to build your confidence (exercise is a good place to start) and stop caring about what people think. Most importantly, you need psychotherapy. If you've been struggling with this all your life, then you need the professional help. All the best. |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by Amaoforka: 2:29pm On Mar 17, 2025 |
Sorry about what you've been going through. Your emotions and feelings are valid, you ain't the first person having this same case scenario. There's a family I'm aware of that most of the siblings have this same conditions due to their mum predicament. It's quite genetic but most have high IQ and they are working in reputable organization, another will soon become a medical doctor in few months. The truth of the matter is that you can't help it when the anxiety sets in some type you sweat, you fidget, you talk in a nervous manner. But I believe they are coping mechanism you can learn online to help you cope, if this fails I believe going to seek therapy and neuropsychiatric hospital might help. I'm suspecting you have what is called Social anxiety disorder but I'm not certain though. Also forgive your dad he doesn't know better if he did. He would have found solution. I believe he thought you were being rebellious. You have so much potential it's just the anxiety that makes you feel threatened that you can't achieve anything be strong don't harbor negative thought or contemplate suicide . God be your strength it's not the end of the world.its wonderful to know you had the insight to know you have a problem, now it's time to find solution |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by Aurelius1(m): 2:36pm On Mar 17, 2025 |
VeryBoi:You made a very big mistake not going to University or learning a skill. Meanwhile, download and read "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F.u.ck by Mark Manson. That book would help you. |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by JOACHINpedro: 6:21pm On Mar 17, 2025*. Modified: 6:41am On May 22, 2025 |
You give your fear power over something that does not exist. People are too busy to focus on another human being. They do their thing, you do your thing. Everybody wins. But try and express your feelings. Especially when you feel you are not treated right. Don't forget |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by VeryBoi(op): 7:00pm On Mar 17, 2025 |
Amaoforka:I'm deeply touched by your heartfelt and encouraging message. Your words of understanding and empathy mean a lot to me, and I'm greatful for your willingness to share insights. |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by VeryBoi(op): 7:04pm On Mar 17, 2025*. Modified: 7:42pm On Mar 17, 2025 |
JOACHINpedro:Thanks sir, I really appreciate |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by VeryBoi(op): 7:05pm On Mar 17, 2025*. Modified: 7:41pm On Mar 17, 2025 |
Aurelius1:I'm feeding on it now - the book |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by Manwatch: 10:49pm On May 20, 2025 |
VeryBoi:Hello, have you found solution.... I'm also going through this and honestly this mental issue is a very big setback. I don't even know who to talk to |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by Starboytwo(m): 10:43am On Jun 01, 2025 |
One thing I will tell you is... People don't really think or care about you much as you thought... You will surprised that the person you think is looking at you etc is actually lowkey admiring you.... Legit. Just do whatever you gotta do... |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by TimiRume(f): 5:40pm On Jun 07, 2025 |
VeryBoi:Do you fantasize or daydream? Be honest |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by Elock1: 1:56am On Sep 30, 2025 |
VeryBoi:Its Social anxiety disorder (not a diagnose) From what I've gathered it could be trauma response, genetic, upbringing or even acquired as we grow older I'm going through this as well and trust me its he.ll If you don't go through this you may never understand. My neighbors don't get me, they think I'm proud, snobbish, aloof etc some Even think I'm crazy ...my self confidence is now minus 500 Once upon a time I kinda built my confidence but somehow I've graduated to avoidance personality Ever since I started noticing shakiness,heart palpitations and stammering in social situations I'm in my house 24/7 no job since March and people think I'm lazy or complain when I try to tell them so I box it all up Even a family doctor scolded me saying I should "snap" out of it , like it's that easy for me,😩 No respect, no joy , loosing opportunities daily I'm planning on seeing a psychiatrist soon People really don't get it It's really cr.azy |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by Elock1: 2:02am On Sep 30, 2025 |
TimiRume:What has it got to do with it? Asking an honest question |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by omo17(m): 12:15am On Dec 12, 2025 |
Elock1:Good day sir, I've you seen the doctor, hw far with the treatment... I'm battling with the same issue now |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by omo17(m): 12:18am On Dec 12, 2025 |
VeryBoi:Good morning, have u gotten any solutions to the problem... I need help also |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by Kobojunkie: 12:18am On Dec 12, 2025 |
VeryBoi:So, have you finally gotten treatment for your condition? ![]() |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by Kobojunkie: 12:19am On Dec 12, 2025 |
omo17:Go see a psychiatrist for help you need. ![]() |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by Donsilase: 4:36pm On Dec 12, 2025 |
There must be something that is triggering your anxiety, either your physical look, the way you talk or any other thing. That is what you need to tackle first |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by Pootle: 5:37pm On Dec 12, 2025 |
i was once like you, zero public confidence but at some point i had to man up face the bull by the horn. am still an introvert and have this stage fright once awhile but am better off now. the cause and start was because i was very cute as a kid and handsome as a young adult and people staring at me at every opportunity, as a young adult i started frowning my face later it changed my looks as i got used to boning my face. i wont advise you do as i did but you need go out of shell it cost me allot due to lack of confidence, back then i faced a panel of 8 interviewers and it was obvious to them, it cost me a life changing opportunity. so at this age do all you can to boost your confidence |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by Kobojunkie: 7:26pm On Dec 12, 2025 |
Donsilase:Yes,there is. You have to confront your fears. What is the worst that could happen if you did that? Write them down and convince yourself that as long as it isn't immediate death, you should be able to handle and accept it no matter how degrading. Even if death is the end, so what? 🥱🥱🥱 The alternative is to get the help of a psychiatrist to help walk you through the process of over coming those fears or managing the problem with medication. I used medication and eventually went gunho at the issue after the medication started losing effect. 🥱🥱 |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by Mamayam: 8:17am On Dec 13, 2025 |
Dem don use insult finish this one self esteem |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by Diamond098454(f): 8:27am On Dec 13, 2025 |
I admire you a lot. It's guys like you I really want around me So, we still have guys like this in our dear society |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by Elock1: 6:55pm On Dec 13, 2025 |
omo17:Yeah I did Na long story sha |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by Kobojunkie: 7:00pm On Dec 13, 2025 |
Elock1:What was your diagnosis and how did your treatment go? Did you commit fully to the prescribed treatment plan, or did you quit halfway, or decide you had other important things? ![]() |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by Elock1: 7:08pm On Dec 13, 2025 |
Kobojunkie:Which one I go answer first? |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by Winterhaven(m): 7:28pm On Dec 13, 2025 |
A lot of people commenting on this thread don't even know what social anxiety (aka social phobia) is. For starters, it is not a matter of confidence, rather, it is a sickness/medical condition, (just like malaria, typhoid and other sicknesses). It has nothing to do with confidence, fear, weakness of the mind or low self-esteem. The solution is to seek medical intervention, as social anxiety can be medically treated. |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by Kobojunkie: 7:41pm On Dec 13, 2025 |
Elock1:The questions are meant to give you an idea of the direction you could take in telling your long story. ![]() |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by Elock1: 8:23pm On Dec 13, 2025 |
Kobojunkie:1.zoloft 2. Not bad so far, experience some side effects tho 3.still on it (roughly a month) 4.i will likely quit soon |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by Kobojunkie: 8:26pm On Dec 13, 2025 |
Elock1:Why will you quit soon? Have you been cleared of the issue that got you on Zoloft before now? 🥱🥱 |
| Re: My Life-long Struggle With Social Anxiety by Elock1: 9:03pm On Dec 13, 2025 |
Kobojunkie:1. Side effects 2.money to continue 3. And other personal reasons |
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