₦airaland Forum

Ever since our father died my mother is something else she will react to anything always trying to manipulate everything if you ignore her she will start crying .
Every family member from father side is evil and if I disagree with her on that it will become a problem I’m thinking of sending her back to the village but I’m afraid she will be so lonely there and I don’t want people to think I don’t care about my mother i need an advice please I’m tired

Chidollars1994:
Ever since our father died my mother is something else she will react to anything always trying to manipulate everything if you ignore her she will start crying .
Every family member from father side is evil and if I disagree with her on that it will become a problem I’m thinking of sending her back to the village but I’m afraid she will be so lonely there and I don’t want people to think I don’t care about my mother i need an advice please I’m tired

How about just simply talking it out with her and telling her what you don't like or appreciate,things are not as complicated as we make them seem most times. Communication is underrated

torqque7:
How about just simply talking it out with her and telling her what you don't like or appreciate,things are not as complicated as we make them seem most times. Communication is underrated

she won’t listen

When was the last time someone shined her congo?

Breastsucker is needed here 😃

Chidollars1994:
Ever since our father died my mother is something else she will react to anything always trying to manipulate everything if you ignore her she will start crying .
Every family member from father side is evil and if I disagree with her on that it will become a problem I’m thinking of sending her back to the village but I’m afraid she will be so lonely there and I don’t want people to think I don’t care about my mother i need an advice please I’m tired

You dare not reverse the cenario on her , she will never believe any of her relatives are in that shoe she puts her late husbands people. Just understand that majority of women in Nigeria have this thought process and it's very bad and joining it with emotional blackmail is the height of it.

The way forward, does she have zeal to listen to the Bible if yes you can use bible verses that talks about love, kindness, empathy and caring for ones neighbors to drive home your point while having a discussion with her on this issue.

Enquire from her if she has been a victim if these fake prophets littered everywhere who go about telling women stupid things like, your husband was killed by someone in the family, the reason you are experiencing this is because someone in your husband's family is responsible. These women then go about with corrupted mind against their husbands family.

Have a q deep conversations with her and know how to tackle this issue, carrying her to the village isn't the solution at the moment m. Hear from her firstly then try to talk her off this.

When was the last time someone shined her conga

My Mom is like that, a deep and good Christian, what did i do, i make sure i manipulate her too, Two can play the game of Manipulation and get her angry, after that we will fight and i will do my biddings and make her see the light out of my action.
My last born had her introduction some weeks back, during the planning phase i told her to involve my father's brother but she refused stating scenario's i bluntly told her, i won't be involved in the introduction if they ain't there, i told my sister too about it, she insulted me and call me names but they eventually did my biddings and on the introduction day both parties were happy.
so you too be manipulative and blunt with her, she will cry and cry alone

Why not just ignore her negative behaviour. Don't challenge her ideas and just nod along and keep it moving. Your mother is widowed, probably scared of being alone and just all around human. You don't have to fight every battle! Ignore 80% of her rants and bad behaviour and save the 20% to stand up for any injustice or unreasonable demands that she makes. Let the woman breathe! If she thinks her in laws are evil, let her have her thoughts. Be more patient with her as she was patient with you. When grow old we revert back to a child like state. We become set in our ways and sometimes overwhelming just like we were as children. Don't abandon your mother because she didn't abandon you when you annoyed her and kept her up all night.

Chidollars1994:
Ever since our father died my mother is something else she will react to anything always trying to manipulate everything if you ignore her she will start crying .
Every family member from father side is evil and if I disagree with her on that it will become a problem I’m thinking of sending her back to the village but I’m afraid she will be so lonely there and I don’t want people to think I don’t care about my mother i need an advice please I’m tired

Your mother is not just becoming now. She had always been since birth, even before she met your father. This is what your father dealt with while alive.

Women are like that. All of them.

mmadu4:
When was the last time someone shined her conga

BeardedMeat:
Breastsucker is needed here 😃

BeardedMeat:
When was the last time someone shined her congo?

You guys are I.mbecils

I will advise you all to be more occupied with reading self development books.

Your brains are at par with that of lizards

Chidollars1994:
Ever since our father died my mother is something else she will react to anything always trying to manipulate everything if you ignore her she will start crying .
Every family member from father side is evil and if I disagree with her on that it will become a problem I’m thinking of sending her back to the village but I’m afraid she will be so lonely there and I don’t want people to think I don’t care about my mother i need an advice please I’m tired

She don enter 50tis or late 50tis?

ChangedMan1999:
You guys are I.mbecils

I will advise you all to be more occupied with reading self development books.

Your brains are at par with that of lizards

Calm down! No be as u dey think am o. I get one experience with a well fed lady, whose husband is based in United state. Na like as ur mama dey do na so the lady self dey do. People come dey ask me wey be her landlord say, where is her husband. I tell dem say the man no dey around for two years now. One elderly man pointed at the same thing, and every body around there agreed that she is missing her bedmate that's why she is acting like that. Omo I no just understand that thing o. But e make sense.

ChangedMan1999:
You guys are I.mbecils

I will advise you all to be more occupied with reading self development books.

Your brains are at par with that of lizards

As you like. Truth is bitter 😄

almarthins:
She don enter 50tis or late 50tis?

in her 60s

mmadu4:
When was the last time someone shined her conga

Tnx brah! You saw how that Little girl with no experience insulted us for asking a question.
If her mum is in her 50s, my advice is for her to change her mum's wardrobe, enroll her in a gym, give her a spar, make her relaxed, then set her up with a lover. I bet mama will never habour any negativity again even towards tinubu 😬😬

Chidollars1994:
in her 60s

She's still Young 😋

BeardedMeat:
Tnx brah! You saw how that Little girl with no experience insulted us for asking a question.
If her mum is in her 50s, my advice is for her to change her mum's wardrobe, enroll her in a gym, give her a spar, make her relaxed, then set her up with a lover. I bet mama will never habour any negativity again even towards tinubu 😬😬

children full this nairaland

I'm facing same challenge too.

Chidollars1994:
in her 60s

If ur daddy is around now, e go dey manageable. And you no go see the problem this pronounced. Na ur mama u go need to dey assure her say, u dey her side and pet her. No medicine for am.

Chidollars1994:
I’m thinking of sending her back to the village but I’m afraid she will be so lonely there

Living with a parent who has just lost his/her spouse can be problematic especially when it is not a wealthy home where money can give you an array of options to alleviate the problem and channel the mind of the bereaved. If there was plenty money, maybe you would have sent her on temporary vacation or even invited her sisters to come spend time with her or open a business that would keep her too busy.
It is hard and demanding and I know this from first hand experience. I hope God comes through for you.

My mother and yours are the same,just that my father is currently handling her well. I've told him that whenever he is ready to leave this world, he should talk to his wife very well or simply take her along with him. Thank God they are almost age mates too. He can not die and leave us with his own problems.

Nonexisting1:
My mother and yours are the same,just that my father is currently handling her well. I've told him that whenever he is ready to leave this world, he should talk to his wife very well or simply take her along with him. Thank God they are almost age mates too. He can not die and leave us with his own problems.

lol

Sincerely speaking, it’s not easy managing elders especially elderly parents to whom you have obligations of honour and respect.
There’s no one rule that fits it all in handling the situation. You just have to be able to do what is best for you per time.
If you’ve got time on your side, try the communication way. Other times, just listen to her but do what you have to do.
In all, avoid having arguments with her, as it will only end in tears.

And sending her back to the village will only worsen her condition, don’t do it.

God help you…

Nonexisting1:
My mother and yours are the same,just that my father is currently handling her well. I've told him that whenever he is ready to leave this world, he should talk to his wife very well or simply take her along with him. Thank God they are almost age mates too. He can not die and leave us with his own problems.

His comment on his own mother.

What won't you do for online male validation?

This is what you feel about your biological mum, but you were there acting like you care about another man's wife, all to attack me?