₦airaland Forum

As a young man you cannot be fully independent when you rely on another person for your meals.

I just witnessed something that perfectly captures the silent epidemic among Nigerian men.


1. A man is in a toxic relationship but refusing to leave because she can cook, he says he loves her meal and the thought of not wasting her food keeps bringing him back despite her cheating on him countless times and being abusive.

2. A grown man, I kid you not, was on the phone for over 30 minutes, begging his girlfriend. Not because he cheated, not because he disrespected her—but because she refused to cook for him for several days. Apparently, he didn’t buy her an IPhone, and now her “punishment” is starving him.

The guy usually says: “You know I don’t joke with food…”

This gave her a leverage to manipulate him with this weakness.

If you ever find yourself begging a woman just so you can eat rice and stew, or totally relying on her for your meals something is fundamentally wrong.

Let’s break it down.


1. Men Raised to Be Helpless

Too many boys grow up thinking the kitchen is for women. The result? Grown men who:

Can’t boil rice without supervision.

Think frying eggs is a heroic act.

Believe cooking is “feminine.”

And so, they become culinary beggars—held hostage by whoever’s holding the spoon.


2. Food as a Weapon in Relationships

When a woman knows:

You “don’t joke with food,” and

You can’t cook…

She automatically has the upper hand. If she’s upset, all she has to do is deny you food.
No shouting. No drama. Just one simple act of silence in the kitchen, and you’re suddenly apologizing like your life depends on it.

And for some of you, it does.


3. Masculinity Isn’t Just Muscles — It’s Independence

If your idea of being “the man” is earning money but still relying on someone else for daily nourishment, you’re not leading—you’re surviving.

A man who can cook:

Can’t be manipulated through hunger.

Gains instant respect.

Becomes rare in a world full of takers.

There’s a different confidence that comes with knowing you don’t need anyone to survive.

4. Mama Put Isn’t a Life Plan

Yes, you can run to Mama Put or order food every day, but:

What if you're broke?

What if you're sick?

What if you are not opportune to do so?

Basic cooking skills = survival. Period.


5. Teach Your Sons Early

Parents, don’t raise another generation of kitchen-handicapped men.

Let your boys cook. Encourage them to help. Let them burn food and learn. A son who can feed himself won’t bow to pressure in relationships.


6. Bonus: Cooking Is a Cheat Code in the Dating Game

Nothing disarms a woman faster than a man who can cook. Serve her hot jollof with grilled chicken and cold zobo?
Suddenly, you’re a king.
You’re not just independent—you’re irresistible.

Final Word:

To my brothers out here… Stop crying over egusi. Drop the phone, light the stove, and take control.

Cooking is not weakness. It’s strength, survival, and a silent flex.

Let’s normalize it. Let’s stop the kitchen slavery.

P. S
What do y’all think? Is it emasculating or empowering? Let’s discuss.

Yes it's not rocket science...

illicit:
Yes it's not rocket science...

Exactly

I learnt this in a tough way 😂😂😂.

Very funny. Do people need to be begged before they learn how to cook food which will nourish their own body..

Hahaha, I don't miss two times cooking daily, it's not even about eating something, the expectations of taste is also there.

Cooking will save you money, make you responsible and respected.

Normally i cook my own food, ever since i became allergic to outside foods so?

Since i saw vag!na hair pieces inside the egusi i ordered, I now cook by myself whether delicious or not.

PerfectStranger:
Since i saw vag!na hair pieces inside the egusi i ordered, I now cook by myself whether delicious or not.

guy u are funny o

How u take know the hair na from vagina, u do sample test for the hair

PerfectStranger:
Since i saw vag!na hair pieces inside the egusi i ordered, I now cook by myself whether delicious or not.

How u take know say na v@Gina hair pieeces

Damilgodwin:
I learnt this in a tough way 😂😂😂.

Gist us what happened

Nijimog:
guy u are funny o

How u take know the hair na from vagina, u do sample test for the hair

If its long and curvy then its from the v-jay

Dpsychologist:
How u take know say na v@Gina hair pieeces

The long and curvy ones are direct frm the v-j

I'm a lady, but I can also relate...😅😅😅... I only started learning in varsity...🙈🙈🙈

Damilgodwin:
I learnt this in a tough way 😂😂😂.

The real thing is
Who denies their man cooked meal for whatever reason?

The kind of men being raised this generation sha


She avoids cookin?
There are plenthora of babes to call to come cook while she watches
Make una no dey fall hand
Can i cook
Yes
Will i cook to prove point
Hell naw

I wholeheartedly disagree with the thought process, but I wholesomely agree with the conclusion.

Yes, let everyone do chores as they have the capability to.

Makes life much more better.

Dpsychologist:
Gist us what happened

When I said tough ehn, it's more like hard raise to power 10. During my NYSC days, I could not get a single person to cook for me without demanding money and sex in return. Even when you are not in the mood. There will make you feel like the worst person and still starve you with a good meal, despite you do provide money for all the necessary items they request for. Funny enough they still collect money from me oo for just cooking 😁😁. My advice to young men out there ehn. Just focus on it, and get ready to waste many good stuff. Last last you go met up😁

Samantha125:
I'm a lady, but I can also relate...😅😅😅... I only started learning in varsity...🙈🙈🙈

Yeah, like I said earlier, my ex actually helped me, but what causes our fracas was her incessant request for marriage. You wants marriage that's okay, but let's work on our foundation first,that was where the whole issue sprang up.

Damilgodwin:
Yeah, like I said earlier, my ex actually helped me, but what causes our fracas was her incessant request for marriage. You wants marriage that's okay, but let's work on our foundation first,that was where the whole issue sprang up.

which foundation are you actually looking for