₦airaland Forum

Good evening, everyone. Please, I need advice on what to do in my current relationship.


I have a lady I've been dating for about a year now and things had been going well so far. However, we've been having a lot of disputes and disagreements so far which has left me wondering if this is how relationships are.


Nowadays, I experience emotional discomfort due to the series of arguments we have been having this past few weeks. So, we work in the same place (kind of like a business organization) and we have access to people every day (network marketing business).


Let me jump to the major thing that happened recently. We work during the nights as well so each time we come to the office, there is a particular guy she likes to associate with. Sometimes, when she comes, she would stroll out with the guy and she would tell me they went to get something.


I've made her know countless times without number that I don't really like that and she should stop. But, any time she apologizes for her actions, she still does it again. That's just one thing. She is also fond of using l
sensual words like "babe", "dear", "love" whenever she chats other guys (which I'm not comfortable with) and I've confronted her about this. Her response will always be to apologize and say it doesn't mean anything as long as she's not dating them.


So, yesterday she did the same thing by following that guy out when she got to work at night again even not minding my presence and I was so livid with anger so I changed my mood towards her. When she got home this morning, she questioned me why I changed and I shut her off because I'm tired of always complaining about the same issue each time.


This morning, one of our bosses/leaders came to address us on an important issue and asked if she would be free tomorrow, which is a Saturday (mind you, this boss already knows we are dating and I already know it was foolish of him to ask), and she said she's free. He then said she should come with two other ladies to his place tomorrow so they can celebrate the festive Saturday together. She said okay.



My babe oooo.


So, I told her and messaged her about this afternoon that if she goes to his place tomorrow even with the two other ladies or not, she should consider our relationship off and over. I'm already tired and emotionally drained. This is affecting my mental health seriously and I'm ready to call it quits this time around if she disobeys what I say.


Am I too possessive and controlling by telling her what I don't like and she should stop doing it? Is my own too much? Should I give her the space to do as she wishes? I'm emotionally stressed!!! I feel like she's insensitive and she's doing all these on purpose because she always apologizes each time.


Since morning, I've been reading about post breakup treatment and what to do after a break up because my mind is already shifting from this relationship.


What do I do, please? Help me. I'm still young and in my 20s to be getting crazy due to a relationship


Cc. @dominique, @farano, @Rocktation

Leave all this simping and go hustle nigga, a woman cannot send you that type of message if you’re financially stable….. she sees you has broke and over protective nigga…. Test her and opt for a breakup and see her response,,,, she’ll be glad asf

Go make money…. she have seen another man richer than you.

She's using your head, she no get any feelings for you. Is it so hard for you to spot when a woman is playing with your emotions?

Bro abeg you leave this girl. She's causing u emotional torture already. When u find another, don't get too attached. Treat her normal not special. Expect the worse because women hearts are deep.

You are emotionally weak. You don't allow any girl to be torturing emotionally in the name of love. People like commit suicide because of a break in relationship. You better face work and move on with your life.

Eyah, sorry,
Just let go since you are not married

Why date someone from your workplace in the first place? Like don't you guys get tired of seeing each other all the time?

You need to at least miss one another every once in a while... Maybe she's tired of seeing you all the time.

You are the only one in that relationship.

One thing you should train yourself on is the ability to see things as they are, without infusing your own bias that clouds reality, making you live in a comfortable lie.

Your babe is at best, settling for you. You are not her choice, or a first option, or the desired.

I dont know if a woman different from your mother has ever loved you before, because if the answer is yes, it becomes obvious that there is no love there.

where there is love, there is no bleed, or whatever you are passing through. Love can be hard, but its a progressive hard that takes you to a higher level, not a regressive one that will leave you in depression.

Man up, and pass through whatever pains you will pass now, and move on. That girl is not for you.

Listen to the first commenter and the dude above me


See make I add my own


There are two major things a man should always focus on in this life:

-Relationship with God
-Source of income- anything you do that brings in money


You see women matter.... don't ever lose your sleep over them or bother too much....they will do what they want to do as long as it feels good to them.. na woman default settings...

So once a woman's attitude is not sitting well with you...and you have warned her severally but proves stubborn.... Excommunicate yourself from her immediately and end the relationship.

When you find it hard to end a relationship with someone who's obviously not in conformity with basic relationship Standard, all in the name of "I love her/him so much" , then you are under an attack. Seek help.

Thanks

Workplace and Romantic love= deception

But exceptions dey

The rule for every successful relationship: the woman must choose you. She must have a genuine desire for you.

It doesn't matter whether you are poor or rich, ugly or handsome, short or tall.

If a woman likes you, she likes you and will do anything to make that relationship work. She will be the one to give herself advice and behave in the best manners to get you attached.

If she doesn't care about your feelings, won't listen to your serial complaints and warnings, just forget about her.

Both of you have invested in a relationship that has so far served its purpose but will fail to climb to the next stage. It's an unfortunate situation.

Constant complaints and negotiations drains the blood out of a relationship. Arguments melts the bond. Impulsiveness wears both of you. The resultant stress and emotional disturbances sips the vitality of the soul.

The heartbreak is imminent. Brace up man.

It's time to call it a quit.

I know you are in love. It hurts.

However, that's the best price you can pay to ensure that your heart still remains soft to accept and love another woman who rhymes with your prayers and values.

This too shall pass away.

Stay firm.

Don't fret.

Unclebayo:
Leave all this simping and go hustle nigga, a woman cannot send you that type of message if you’re financially stable….. she sees you has broke and over protective nigga…. Test her and opt for a breakup and see her response,,,, she’ll be glad asf

Go make money…. she have seen another man richer than you.

Listen to this. We all pass through this as boys before we became men.

I will just add that when you finally become a man, don't marry a broke girl too.

AND don't let anyone use any Bible passage to hold you down when you become a man not to have as many of them as you desire.

Free that girl and face your life, she wouldn't change. Stop wasting your time, energy and resources, rather channel them to something profitable for you. She has no regards for you and will not even if you put a ring on her finger.
Your mental and emotional health is very important.

My 2 cent

You lack emotional intelligence and if u no disconnect emotionally from that babe u will end up a grumpy old man. Don’t fight nor quarrel with her just ignore her misbehavior and start mingling with other females.

.

Wintergreen:
Good evening, everyone. Please, I need advice on what to do in my current relationship.


I have a lady I've been dating for about a year now and things had been going well so far. However, we've been having a lot of disputes and disagreements so far which has left me wondering if this is how relationships are.


Nowadays, I experience emotional discomfort due to the series of arguments we have been having this past few weeks. So, we work in the same place (kind of like a business organization) and we have access to people every day (network marketing business).


Let me jump to the major thing that happened recently. We work during the nights as well so each time we come to the office, there is a particular guy she likes to associate with. Sometimes, when she comes, she would stroll out with the guy and she would tell me they went to get something.


I've made her know countless times without number that I don't really like that and she should stop. But, any time she apologizes for her actions, she still does it again. That's just one thing. She is also fond of using l
sensual words like "babe", "dear", "love" whenever she chats other guys (which I'm not comfortable with) and I've confronted her about this. Her response will always be to apologize and say it doesn't mean anything as long as she's not dating them.


So, yesterday she did the same thing by following that guy out when she got to work at night again even not minding my presence and I was so livid with anger so I changed my mood towards her. When she got home this morning, she questioned me why I changed and I shut her off because I'm tired of always complaining about the same issue each time.


This morning, one of our bosses/leaders came to address us on an important issue and asked if she would be free tomorrow, which is a Saturday (mind you, this boss already knows we are dating and I already know it was foolish of him to ask), and she said she's free. He then said she should come with two other ladies to his place tomorrow so they can celebrate the festive Saturday together. She said okay.



My babe oooo.


So, I told her and messaged her about this afternoon that if she goes to his place tomorrow even with the two other ladies or not, she should consider our relationship off and over. I'm already tired and emotionally drained. This is affecting my mental health seriously and I'm ready to call it quits this time around if she disobeys what I say.


Am I too possessive and controlling by telling her what I don't like and she should stop doing it? Is my own too much? Should I give her the space to do as she wishes? I'm emotionally stressed!!! I feel like she's insensitive and she's doing all these on purpose because she always apologizes each time.


Since morning, I've been reading about post breakup treatment and what to do after a break up because my mind is already shifting from this relationship.


What do I do, please? Help me. I'm still young and in my 20s to be getting crazy due to a relationship


Cc. @dominique, @farano, @Rocktation

This is called microcheating and it's also a form of cheating. I once used compliments like charming for a waitress and my lady told me those words directed to her are what makes her special and distinct to other women as my woman.

She might be oblivious of her actions, but for the sake of your sanity, you can call it quit of she's not ready to conform.

Wintergreen:
Good evening, everyone. Please, I need advice on what to do in my current relationship.



Since morning, I've been reading about post breakup treatment and what to do after a break up because my mind is already shifting from this relationship.


What do I do, please? Help me. I'm still young and in my 20s to be getting crazy due to a relationship


Cc. @dominique, @farano, @Rocktation

The problem with all these young boys is that they are so naive to think their girl is special and different from the next street girl who gets piped by different dikcs. Sorry to burst your bubble bro,she is getting piped and will continue to get piped.

You better disconnect emotionally FAST from that public property because she will soon tell you to your face that you can go to hell she is no longer interested. I hope you know you are the only one in the relationship sef? You can keep piping her sha but better find another girl fast,and another thing you should know is never make a girl feet too comfortable to think you are too loyal and weak to cheat on her,because those yeye statements you make to her saying has she seen you with other girls is very lame and weak,grow some balls boy..

VERY importantly try to make more money too,focus more on that and a relationship should just be like a hobby cos now it's seems you have made it all your priority

Wintergreen:
I've made her know countless times without number...

and I've confronted her about this.

So, I told her and messaged her about this afternoon

You talk too much. Warn this, Warn that... keep allowing a woman turn you to a parrot instead of giving her the boot and a well polished MIDDLE FINGER abi na the babe be the man for the relationship?
She sees you at home, she sees you at work, what is special about you to her? She has seen it all.
Remove yourself from such a rubbish situation by looking for someone who doesn't work or live in the same place to avoid SEE FINISH.

I hope you see this simple comment: Rule number one don't date a woman at your work place: You can already see now that even your boss wants her to create time for him by coming to his place during the weekend. Week end she is supposed to be with you. I can see from your write up. Let me tell you the truth, dating a woman at your work place is not it at all. It will affect your productivity.

Commentators before me said it all, but just to add small.

The boss you mentioned, 3 things to take out from his actions.
1) He had realised your girl is for general.
2) She doesn't respect and fear you "shishi".
3.)You are a weak man. (you can't control her)

That's why he had effontary to tell her, even in ur face, she and others should come and visit him. What an insult to you!

A girl that respects you would have replied him frownly.... should I leave my man lonely at home and come to your place?

If you can open your eyes & ears widely, you would notice, several people in your office have taken their own shares from her, but you, "the boy is good" carry the meat that belongs to everyone, on top of your head.

Foolish stupid SIMP, breakup with her and go and make money.

Fiscus105:
Commentators before me said it all, but just to add small.

The boss you mentioned, 3 thinks to take out from his actions.
1) He had realised your girl is for general.
2) She doesn't respect and fear you "shishi".
3.)You are a weak man. (you can't control her)

That's why he had effontary to tell her, even in ur face, she and others should come and visit him. What an insult to you!

A girl that respects you would have replied him frownly.... should I leave my man lonely at home and come to your place?

If you can open your eyes & ears widely, you would notice, several people in your office have taken their own shares from her, but you "the boy is good" carry the meat that belongs to all, on top of your head.

Thanks so much. I reason with what you said.

The fault is entirely mine in the first place.