₦airaland Forum

Socratiz:
Interesting.

You have this much data on your wife.

How about you?

In what ways are you contributing to the issues in your marriage?

After all, you're not an angel.

You need to also examine yourself.

The truth is, if you divorce her without working on yourself, the same set of problems will arise in your next marriage.

I would rather counsel that you go for therapy.

There's always a solution to any problem if you look for it. But if you seal your mind that there is no solution, then you won't find one.

XtraFortunes:
This is a lot, but one can't judge till one hears the other side of the story. Good luck

KillahPriest:
thanks for your unsolicited advise but I'm not interested in outsourcing my thought process especially over trivial issues

Mansa6:
Oga!

Some bit of your advice is good but the part of saying the guy doesn't have confidence is kind of a "knee jerk" conclusion based on what you have taken from the OP's post..

There is NOTHING wrong with the man person say even when we understand that NO ONE is perfect ..

Talking about the man paying his bills and doing what he's supposed to do is an MODERN DAY MANIPULATION tactic used by narcissistic women to gaslight their men..

It's TOTAL GASLIGHTING...if a woman sees that her husband isn't doing as well as she wants or needs,it behoves on her to "switch on" her EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE THINKING MACHINE and do the "hardwork"..

This nonsense of women now giving silly childish excuse of misbehaving because the man isn't living up to his financial/domestic responsibility van ONLY fly for men that are SELF UNAWARE,which the streets erroneously call SIMPS...most people don't even understand the true meaning of being a SIMP..

My advice to the man is NOT to break up the marriage..it's ALWAYS better that anyone who isn't interested in keeping and working on the marriage should be allowed to walk away on their own...

Do your thing..Be your AUTHENTIC self...don't change for ANYONE ,so as to be appreciated more ..change for your own personal good..

Most men that are still.married for upwards of 25 years and above have seen such behavior in their wives at a pint in their lives but maybe a slightly different versions..

IGNORE HER!

I am speaking from personal experience..been married for over 2 decades and have seen this kind of behavior..

KillahPriest:
You don't need to shout or beg anymore, your wife is quarter gone out of the house already so the best thing is to look out for yourself and the kids. If its possible to get a lesson teacher and house keeper that comes once or twice a week, I believe you should take that option and don't even bother about asking her permission/input. Also take care of yourself by dressing sharp (if you dont) and smelling nice, go out more often even if it's to the gym. If your house is big, take a separate room from hers and don't ever bother her about sèx again. Give her anything she wants financially but allow her fly. You're a guy man so you should know women need rivals once in a while and it's just the sad world we live in. If you cant cheat then, get a bestie or rent a babe but you gan need to unload so how we wan do am now You gats blow outside Anyways, no follow am drag anything again even if she open mouth say she wan go, open door quietly and give her thirty minutes to move her stuff, nobody go tell her say township na mind, na she go find out by herself. Your main issue is that you lack self confidence which is very important when dealing with these our women. See, even if she involves her parents or whoever, you have to calmly tell them that their daughter is useless and you didnt know from day one that she lacked home training as a decent woman but no wahala. My advice is under the assumption that you're doing your full duties financially as a father and husband and if you're not, go wash your head for your papa village

kpankpangolo:
No way I will read all that. It’s too lengthy and structured. I’m guessing it was the work of a bot.

KillahPriest:
You don't need to shout or beg anymore, your wife is quarter gone out of the house already so the best thing is to look out for yourself and the kids. If its possible to get a lesson teacher and house keeper that comes once or twice a week, I believe you should take that option and don't even bother about asking her permission/input. Also take care of yourself by dressing sharp (if you dont) and smelling nice, go out more often even if it's to the gym. If your house is big, take a separate room from hers and don't ever bother her about sèx again. Give her anything she wants financially but allow her fly. You're a guy man so you should know women need rivals once in a while and it's just the sad world we live in. If you cant cheat then, get a bestie or rent a babe but you gan need to unload so how we wan do am now You gats blow outside Anyways, no follow am drag anything again even if she open mouth say she wan go, open door quietly and give her thirty minutes to move her stuff, nobody go tell her say township na mind, na she go find out by herself. Your main issue is that you lack self confidence which is very important when dealing with these our women. See, even if she involves her parents or whoever, you have to calmly tell them that their daughter is useless and you didnt know from day one that she lacked home training as a decent woman but no wahala. My advice is under the assumption that you're doing your full duties financially as a father and husband and if you're not, go wash your head for your papa village

Walai:
Can someone give me at least one convincing reason to get married apart from children (I can get any number of children without getting married) and sex (the cheapest commodity right now) ?

busariabeyx24:
Why I Want to Separate from My Wife

Our relationship has become emotionally unsustainable for me, and after long periods of silence, inner conflict, and attempts to make things work, I have come to the difficult conclusion that separation is the healthiest path forward—for both of us. There are several deeply rooted issues that have contributed to this decision, and I believe it’s important to lay them out clearly.

1. Lack of Intimacy and Weaponization of Sex
Intimacy has all but vanished in our relationship. What’s more painful is that she uses sex as a tool—to control, punish, or manipulate. This has left me feeling undesired, unwanted, and emotionally abandoned. Intimacy is not just physical, it's also about connection, vulnerability, and shared closeness—and we have none of that left.

2. Emotional Abandonment and Loneliness
While she often chooses to go out and spend hours with her friends, I’m left alone in the house, feeling isolated and neglected. Even when we’re in the same space, we’re disconnected. Her priorities have shifted away from our relationship and family, and I feel like a ghost in my own home.

3. Neglect of Parental Responsibilities
Despite being a trained teacher, she makes no effort to support the children academically. Their homework, school needs, and learning challenges fall entirely on me, even though I’m also the primary provider. It hurts to watch our children miss out on guidance that she’s perfectly capable of giving.

4. Communication Breakdown
We barely talk. When we do, it's either transactional or tense. There's no emotional sharing, no joint planning, no meaningful conversation. We exist like two strangers under the same roof.

5. Disregard for My Input and Support
Time and again, I’ve offered her advice that could have helped her avoid unnecessary stress or mistakes, but she disregards me—only to later face the exact consequences I warned about. It feels like my voice has no value in her life.

6. Encouraging Poor Habits in the Kids
She not only neglects the kids’ school work, but she also encourages them to go to the next neighborhood to play or hang out—at times when they should be studying or resting. It undermines my efforts to instill discipline and focus in our children.

7. Lack of Respect for My Hustle
She shows no interest or concern in how I make money, the pressure I’m under, or the sacrifices I make to keep the family going. There’s no appreciation, no empathy, just entitlement and expectation. I feel invisible, like a machine that’s supposed to produce without rest or recognition.

8. Misplaced Priorities
Her life seems to revolve around eating, watching TV, and spending hours gossiping with friends. There’s little to no effort toward improving our household, our relationship, or our children’s future. That kind of passivity is damaging, not just for our marriage but for our family as a whole.

9. Manipulation by Friends
She allows her so-called friends to influence how she treats me, even to the point of disrespect. Rather than defending or standing by me as a partner, she lets their words shape her actions against me. This betrayal by proxy is incredibly painful.

10. Ongoing Emotional Disregard
As I write this, she has been outside gossiping with a friend for over three hours—leaving me inside, emotionally abandoned once again. This isn’t an isolated event; it’s a pattern. I’ve begged for her time, attention, and partnership, but she chooses others over and over again.

busariabeyx24:
Why I Want to Separate from My Wife

Our relationship has become emotionally unsustainable for me, and after long periods of silence, inner conflict, and attempts to make things work, I have come to the difficult conclusion that separation is the healthiest path forward—for both of us. There are several deeply rooted issues that have contributed to this decision, and I believe it’s important to lay them out clearly.

1. Lack of Intimacy and Weaponization of Sex
Intimacy has all but vanished in our relationship. What’s more painful is that she uses sex as a tool—to control, punish, or manipulate. This has left me feeling undesired, unwanted, and emotionally abandoned. Intimacy is not just physical, it's also about connection, vulnerability, and shared closeness—and we have none of that left.

2. Emotional Abandonment and Loneliness
While she often chooses to go out and spend hours with her friends, I’m left alone in the house, feeling isolated and neglected. Even when we’re in the same space, we’re disconnected. Her priorities have shifted away from our relationship and family, and I feel like a ghost in my own home.

3. Neglect of Parental Responsibilities
Despite being a trained teacher, she makes no effort to support the children academically. Their homework, school needs, and learning challenges fall entirely on me, even though I’m also the primary provider. It hurts to watch our children miss out on guidance that she’s perfectly capable of giving.

4. Communication Breakdown
We barely talk. When we do, it's either transactional or tense. There's no emotional sharing, no joint planning, no meaningful conversation. We exist like two strangers under the same roof.

5. Disregard for My Input and Support
Time and again, I’ve offered her advice that could have helped her avoid unnecessary stress or mistakes, but she disregards me—only to later face the exact consequences I warned about. It feels like my voice has no value in her life.

6. Encouraging Poor Habits in the Kids
She not only neglects the kids’ school work, but she also encourages them to go to the next neighborhood to play or hang out—at times when they should be studying or resting. It undermines my efforts to instill discipline and focus in our children.

7. Lack of Respect for My Hustle
She shows no interest or concern in how I make money, the pressure I’m under, or the sacrifices I make to keep the family going. There’s no appreciation, no empathy, just entitlement and expectation. I feel invisible, like a machine that’s supposed to produce without rest or recognition.

8. Misplaced Priorities
Her life seems to revolve around eating, watching TV, and spending hours gossiping with friends. There’s little to no effort toward improving our household, our relationship, or our children’s future. That kind of passivity is damaging, not just for our marriage but for our family as a whole.

9. Manipulation by Friends
She allows her so-called friends to influence how she treats me, even to the point of disrespect. Rather than defending or standing by me as a partner, she lets their words shape her actions against me. This betrayal by proxy is incredibly painful.

10. Ongoing Emotional Disregard
As I write this, she has been outside gossiping with a friend for over three hours—leaving me inside, emotionally abandoned once again. This isn’t an isolated event; it’s a pattern. I’ve begged for her time, attention, and partnership, but she chooses others over and over again.

kpankpangolo:
No way I will read all that. It’s too lengthy and structured. I’m guessing it was the work of a bot.

busariabeyx24:
Why I Want to Separate from My Wife

Our relationship has become emotionally unsustainable for me, and after long periods of silence, inner conflict, and attempts to make things work, I have come to the difficult conclusion that separation is the healthiest path forward—for both of us. There are several deeply rooted issues that have contributed to this decision, and I believe it’s important to lay them out clearly.

1. Lack of Intimacy and Weaponization of Sex
Intimacy has all but vanished in our relationship. What’s more painful is that she uses sex as a tool—to control, punish, or manipulate. This has left me feeling undesired, unwanted, and emotionally abandoned. Intimacy is not just physical, it's also about connection, vulnerability, and shared closeness—and we have none of that left.

2. Emotional Abandonment and Loneliness
While she often chooses to go out and spend hours with her friends, I’m left alone in the house, feeling isolated and neglected. Even when we’re in the same space, we’re disconnected. Her priorities have shifted away from our relationship and family, and I feel like a ghost in my own home.

3. Neglect of Parental Responsibilities
Despite being a trained teacher, she makes no effort to support the children academically. Their homework, school needs, and learning challenges fall entirely on me, even though I’m also the primary provider. It hurts to watch our children miss out on guidance that she’s perfectly capable of giving.

4. Communication Breakdown
We barely talk. When we do, it's either transactional or tense. There's no emotional sharing, no joint planning, no meaningful conversation. We exist like two strangers under the same roof.

5. Disregard for My Input and Support
Time and again, I’ve offered her advice that could have helped her avoid unnecessary stress or mistakes, but she disregards me—only to later face the exact consequences I warned about. It feels like my voice has no value in her life.

6. Encouraging Poor Habits in the Kids
She not only neglects the kids’ school work, but she also encourages them to go to the next neighborhood to play or hang out—at times when they should be studying or resting. It undermines my efforts to instill discipline and focus in our children.

7. Lack of Respect for My Hustle
She shows no interest or concern in how I make money, the pressure I’m under, or the sacrifices I make to keep the family going. There’s no appreciation, no empathy, just entitlement and expectation. I feel invisible, like a machine that’s supposed to produce without rest or recognition.

8. Misplaced Priorities
Her life seems to revolve around eating, watching TV, and spending hours gossiping with friends. There’s little to no effort toward improving our household, our relationship, or our children’s future. That kind of passivity is damaging, not just for our marriage but for our family as a whole.

9. Manipulation by Friends
She allows her so-called friends to influence how she treats me, even to the point of disrespect. Rather than defending or standing by me as a partner, she lets their words shape her actions against me. This betrayal by proxy is incredibly painful.

10. Ongoing Emotional Disregard
As I write this, she has been outside gossiping with a friend for over three hours—leaving me inside, emotionally abandoned once again. This isn’t an isolated event; it’s a pattern. I’ve begged for her time, attention, and partnership, but she chooses others over and over again.

XtraFortunes:
This is a lot, but one can't judge till one hears the other side of the story. Good luck

Westerhoffe:

Matthew 5 (KJV)
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
³¹ It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
³² But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Matthew 19 (KJV)
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
⁵ And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
⁶ Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

tempex88:
Topic should be "WHY I WANT TO SEPARATE FROM MY HUSBAND"