₦airaland Forum

Bukola94:
I don't encourage divorce, but if all what he wrote is true, is better they go there separate way. I know what am facing in my marriage, just managing the situation. There is no perfect marriage. What I can't manage is threat to life and infidelity...

Walai:
Can someone give me at least one convincing reason to get married apart from children (I can get any number of children without getting married) and sex (the cheapest commodity right now) ?

Eniitankorede:
That aptly describes most women. Are they all naccisists?

busariabeyx24:
Why I Want to Separate from My Wife

Our relationship has become emotionally unsustainable for me, and after long periods of silence, inner conflict, and attempts to make things work, I have come to the difficult conclusion that separation is the healthiest path forward—for both of us. There are several deeply rooted issues that have contributed to this decision, and I believe it’s important to lay them out clearly.

1. Lack of Intimacy and Weaponization of Sex
Intimacy has all but vanished in our relationship. What’s more painful is that she uses sex as a tool—to control, punish, or manipulate. This has left me feeling undesired, unwanted, and emotionally abandoned. Intimacy is not just physical, it's also about connection, vulnerability, and shared closeness—and we have none of that left.

2. Emotional Abandonment and Loneliness
While she often chooses to go out and spend hours with her friends, I’m left alone in the house, feeling isolated and neglected. Even when we’re in the same space, we’re disconnected. Her priorities have shifted away from our relationship and family, and I feel like a ghost in my own home.

3. Neglect of Parental Responsibilities
Despite being a trained teacher, she makes no effort to support the children academically. Their homework, school needs, and learning challenges fall entirely on me, even though I’m also the primary provider. It hurts to watch our children miss out on guidance that she’s perfectly capable of giving.

4. Communication Breakdown
We barely talk. When we do, it's either transactional or tense. There's no emotional sharing, no joint planning, no meaningful conversation. We exist like two strangers under the same roof.

5. Disregard for My Input and Support
Time and again, I’ve offered her advice that could have helped her avoid unnecessary stress or mistakes, but she disregards me—only to later face the exact consequences I warned about. It feels like my voice has no value in her life.

6. Encouraging Poor Habits in the Kids
She not only neglects the kids’ school work, but she also encourages them to go to the next neighborhood to play or hang out—at times when they should be studying or resting. It undermines my efforts to instill discipline and focus in our children.

7. Lack of Respect for My Hustle
She shows no interest or concern in how I make money, the pressure I’m under, or the sacrifices I make to keep the family going. There’s no appreciation, no empathy, just entitlement and expectation. I feel invisible, like a machine that’s supposed to produce without rest or recognition.

8. Misplaced Priorities
Her life seems to revolve around eating, watching TV, and spending hours gossiping with friends. There’s little to no effort toward improving our household, our relationship, or our children’s future. That kind of passivity is damaging, not just for our marriage but for our family as a whole.

9. Manipulation by Friends
She allows her so-called friends to influence how she treats me, even to the point of disrespect. Rather than defending or standing by me as a partner, she lets their words shape her actions against me. This betrayal by proxy is incredibly painful.

10. Ongoing Emotional Disregard
As I write this, she has been outside gossiping with a friend for over three hours—leaving me inside, emotionally abandoned once again. This isn’t an isolated event; it’s a pattern. I’ve begged for her time, attention, and partnership, but she chooses others over and over again.

omooba969:
Lol , if your wife is asked, she will likely say the same thing @bolded.

Na both of una dey manage the situation.

KillahPriest:
you're right but when I say pay bills or handle all responsibilities expected of him as a man, I want him to fulfil all righteousness for himself, the kids and especially just in case outsiders like family elders try to intervene or ask questions about what would have made the wife go haywire. I'm happy you're experienced in this game and I'm sure you know that women have one crazy mentality on stepping all over men with calm demeanors or as we say, good guys so there's no need keeping things in the chest, tell her shes fùcking up but if she continues especially on this path he's facing then as for me, it's all out war. There's a case I'm mediating right now that I don't want to talk about here but as we speak, the woman and her people are begging because true true, township na mind. Married women always forget that those men outside who tickle their ears only want a few weeks of adventure and never commitment. So like you said, if she wants to go, she can go but I'll advise him to cushion that effect by making himself presentable and indeed letting her know that there are many fishes ready in the river

Bukola94:
I'm not really a saint or gentle man, but people that knows me, say am simple, caring and peace loving, but you know our wives, no matter how cool headed you are, they will get on your nerves and take your love for granted. U keep complaining about the same thing over and over again

whytediamond:
You've said it all. I bet the young man has figured his finances. No Nigerian woman will treat a rich husband this way. She has got everything to loose.

When a man cries like a baby instead of taking drastic actions, it's a pointer to one thing. Baba no hold side, hence the see finish.

No man deserves to stay under the same roof with the sort of woman he described. Na untimely death.

He isn't a man yet. My opinion though.

FireUpNow:
How old is your wife? How many kids do you have and how long have you been married?

zagorakis:
OP ignore the bolded rubbish.
Just take charge of your home, unless she paid your bride price otherwise man up

Gloriagee:
This is too properly written to be genuine . The caps, the fonting... Too composed for me to detect any sign of emotional distress and alas the picture which convinces me that this is an article walahhi

kpankpangolo:
No way I will read all that. It’s too lengthy and structured. I’m guessing it was the work of a bot.

ZeemsPropeties:
A lot of these are caused when your wife feels she can do better than you. In her mind, the relationship is over. The best you can do is pick up the pieces even while you are both together. Try to improve yourself and be more social (it doesn't have to involve drinking). Put yourself out there and avoiding begging her for anything ( especially sex). Eventually, she would come to realize what she has been taking for granted.

Lamanii22:
Hmmmmm, I’m really sorry about everything you’ve gone through, why not see a therapist, if it doesn’t work then you guys can separate

occfx:
Look like you are broke at the moment. Find ways to make more money. Women can't do without a buoyant G. If she still feel entitled... Give her space and enjoy your life. You could be away from home from months and live your life.

Simping is an offence to nature.

Seunmuham:
Rich men wives behaves worst than what the man described

busariabeyx24:
I ain't broke .

occfx:
You are playing with your masculinity. Nature won't tolerate you.

occfx:
You are playing with your masculinity. Nature won't tolerate you.

advanceDNA:
I read in another thread where one girl said they bring more than guys to the table...infact she said they are the table...
..somebody now asked her what they bring that is more ...she said emotional intelligence, and vision that drives the society....I laugh nearly fall comot for chair...

So I don't know maybe u are looking for emotional intelligence, vision,....that might be two reasons to get married

Walai:
Can someone give me at least one convincing reason to get married apart from children (I can get any number of children without getting married) and sex (the cheapest commodity right now) ?

Westerhoffe:

Matthew 5 (KJV)
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
³¹ It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
³² But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Matthew 19 (KJV)
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
⁵ And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
⁶ Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

busariabeyx24:
Why I Want to Separate from My Wife

Our relationship has become emotionally unsustainable for me, and after long periods of silence, inner conflict, and attempts to make things work, I have come to the difficult conclusion that separation is the healthiest path forward—for both of us. There are several deeply rooted issues that have contributed to this decision, and I believe it’s important to lay them out clearly.

1. Lack of Intimacy and Weaponization of Sex
Intimacy has all but vanished in our relationship. What’s more painful is that she uses sex as a tool—to control, punish, or manipulate. This has left me feeling undesired, unwanted, and emotionally abandoned. Intimacy is not just physical, it's also about connection, vulnerability, and shared closeness—and we have none of that left.

2. Emotional Abandonment and Loneliness
While she often chooses to go out and spend hours with her friends, I’m left alone in the house, feeling isolated and neglected. Even when we’re in the same space, we’re disconnected. Her priorities have shifted away from our relationship and family, and I feel like a ghost in my own home.

3. Neglect of Parental Responsibilities
Despite being a trained teacher, she makes no effort to support the children academically. Their homework, school needs, and learning challenges fall entirely on me, even though I’m also the primary provider. It hurts to watch our children miss out on guidance that she’s perfectly capable of giving.

4. Communication Breakdown
We barely talk. When we do, it's either transactional or tense. There's no emotional sharing, no joint planning, no meaningful conversation. We exist like two strangers under the same roof.

5. Disregard for My Input and Support
Time and again, I’ve offered her advice that could have helped her avoid unnecessary stress or mistakes, but she disregards me—only to later face the exact consequences I warned about. It feels like my voice has no value in her life.

6. Encouraging Poor Habits in the Kids
She not only neglects the kids’ school work, but she also encourages them to go to the next neighborhood to play or hang out—at times when they should be studying or resting. It undermines my efforts to instill discipline and focus in our children.

7. Lack of Respect for My Hustle
She shows no interest or concern in how I make money, the pressure I’m under, or the sacrifices I make to keep the family going. There’s no appreciation, no empathy, just entitlement and expectation. I feel invisible, like a machine that’s supposed to produce without rest or recognition.

8. Misplaced Priorities
Her life seems to revolve around eating, watching TV, and spending hours gossiping with friends. There’s little to no effort toward improving our household, our relationship, or our children’s future. That kind of passivity is damaging, not just for our marriage but for our family as a whole.

9. Manipulation by Friends
She allows her so-called friends to influence how she treats me, even to the point of disrespect. Rather than defending or standing by me as a partner, she lets their words shape her actions against me. This betrayal by proxy is incredibly painful.

10. Ongoing Emotional Disregard
As I write this, she has been outside gossiping with a friend for over three hours—leaving me inside, emotionally abandoned once again. This isn’t an isolated event; it’s a pattern. I’ve begged for her time, attention, and partnership, but she chooses others over and over again.

Spinflow:
you and rat poison na the same....

Westerhoffe:
In what way?

ZeemsPropeties:
A lot of these are caused when your wife feels she can do better than you. In her mind, the relationship is over. The best you can do is pick up the pieces even while you are both together. Try to improve yourself and be more social (it doesn't have to involve drinking). Put yourself out there and avoiding begging her for anything ( especially sex). Eventually, she would come to realize what she has been taking for granted.

Spinflow:
Na until person die abi, this marriage scam no go rest. Na only women this marriage scam dey favor. Man complain, na man get problem. Woman complain, man na him be evil. Wetin man do? Devil no touch Job wife for una bible ooo. Na Job, him children and business, na dem suffer. Since 2010, anybody wey you marry, na either hook-up or entitled narcissist.