₦airaland Forum

SUPERBLOOM:
Maybe if you quit begging with your alternates on nairaland you will be able to focus on privacy.
His laptop and whatever content is on it is his private business. Just because he gave you access to his laptop doesn't mean you own it.

Savage

So it is a beggar?

That's a big red flag. People who indulge in such always have wild sexual fantasy which can make them experiment outside the marriage.

Also, Imagine your kids growing up to see some of these nonsense.

Run o

Lol.. funny how most people comment like they are teenagers..
@Op, you did well to delete the videos..
Now sit and talk with him .
Nobody is perfect, but relationship thrives with honesty and openmind.
Discuss with him, it might be an addiction..
Tell him that u can't settle with someone having this kind of addiction.
But because of the love U have for him, you will follow him thru the path he will take to reduce and finally stop watching it..
Be supportive...
Pornography is sex for goodness sake!! The sex you both are having isn't it enough for him? That you'll give him more but he should try and stop...

Good luck with Ur relationship dear...

Islandlady:
➜Good day nairalanders. I need your advice, if this is right or wrong!
I met my fiance October last year, we were doing well and he has introduced me to some of his family members including his mother...They all know me. But the problem is, he has a lot of nasty and pornographic content on his phone and laptop, and it does not sit well with me.
Initially I did not go through his gallery or files but I decided to watch movie on his laptop last week and was surprised at the rubbish pictures and videos that I saw, I had to delete it all
➜ I could remember during the Christmas holiday last year, his 12 years old niece and his mother came to visit us for the holiday and he gave his niece the laptop to watch movies so she will not be bored and I believed the little girl must have seen all this phonographic contents, which is bad. So I told him about it and express my displeasure with such attitude that he is a grown man and ready to settle down...that he should do away with all the rubbish stuffs he has on his phone, because I have the deleted the ones he had on his system. He flared up and started getting angry that I can't tell him what to do and have on his phone and walked out.
➜I am not a saint but I will appreciate my man to be decent, responsible and disciplined. I am thinking of ending the relationship with him, he is unrepentant...what do my fellow nairalanders think?

1. If this is a red-flag for you, then the better question is, why are you still holding on to someone whose habits you believe are nasty to you?

2. Why are you desperately trying to change this man when you ought instead to go out there and find for yourself someone more compatible with you in terms of values, interests, dreams/ambitions, and hobbies? Admitting that you have had to delete some of his content means you are already manipulating him in attempts to change him to suit your ideas. Don't you see that is a huge red flag in your relationship? He is a grown man, as you said, and this is who he is. He is not the problem here; you are, since you continue to cling to him even with this apparent problem you have with him. You should leave him at this point so you can find yourself a partner who better fits who you are; do not try to change for him, please.

3. You don't need to be a saint; no one demands that of you either. You, however, are better off with a man whose habits, values, desires, dreams/ambitions, and even hobbies better align with yours. Sameness is not what is needed here, only compatibility, which you don't have with this particular man you are with.

P.S. This is the same advice I would give my younger self in this situation, too.

Puss360:
➜Lol.. funny how most people comment like they are teenagers.. @Op, you did well to delete the videos..
➜ Now sit and talk with him . Nobody is perfect, but relationship thrives with honesty and openmind. Discuss with him, it might be an addiction.. Tell him that u can't settle with someone having this kind of addiction. But because of the love U have for him, you will follow him thru the path he will take to reduce and finally stop watching it.. Be supportive...
➜ Pornography is sex for goodness sake!! The sex you both are having isn't it enough for him? That you'll give him more but he should try and stop... Good luck with Ur relationship dear...

1. She was wrong to delete those videos. It is sort of like a woman deleting the text messages between her boyfriend and his lover, pretending that doing so means the cheating would be brought to an end. She is doing herself a terrible disservice in turning herself into a manipulative woman — manipulation breeds fake happiness — before marriage.

2. It might be an addiction, so talking to him about it would resolve it? Are you trying to assume that addiction problems can be resolved by this? If it is an addiction problem, OP should cancel plans to marry him immediately until long after— a 1 year at least — he has dealt with the issue.

3. Giving him more sex will help resolve the problem? OP should turn her body into fufu to be pounded to make him happy, and maybe get him off pornography? Has that formula even really worked for anyone before now? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Islandlady:
Mehn like a finance, a man I want to spend the rest of my life with having leaked sex tapes of celebrities on his gadgets is not a problem in the relationship...what kind of man is that? Even when he gave his niece the laptop is not a problem?

Our society is gradually deteriorating

Don't waste you time with these degenerates. Indeed the world is coming to an end. Some people are no longer capable to seeing and calling black, black and white, white.

illicit:
What kind of porn does he watch...?

I didn't want to ask that question because something tells me, if we dig deep, we might find that the woman herself is unhinged — child porn, torture/rape, etc, might be on the list.

NSNO:
➜ I understand your fears. Try to talk with him, sit down and talk with him, let him know how you feel about it, if he truly loves you, he may see reasons to reduce his porn habit or even stop completely. That's really all you can do. Force almost never works.
➜ And don't allow anyone here or offline to downplay your feelings. This is someone that if everything goes well you will spend the rest of your life with, so don't allow them to dismiss you. Don't start what you cannot finish. Wish you success

. Isn't that kind of like asking a woman can talk a cheating man out of continuing to cheat on her? Or as silly as assuming that a gambling husband would suddenly stop gambling if his wife were to talk to him? People usually don't change what they are doing because someone talked to them about it; change comes instead from a realization that what they once did is not of real value to themselves.

2. It is already gone bad at this point. This red flag is not going to magically vanish. The best she can do is end the relationship at this point or endure a lifetime of misery if she decides to move forward with him. Who knows! Her leaving may just be the wake-up call he needs, but she certainly should not bother thinking that means they will work out then either; old habits die hard, they say.

Islandlady:
32

It is better to remain single and happy for this life, than married and miserable!

Single folks have numerous more options as far as happiness is concerned than married folks do. To appease the married and keep them believing they made the better choice of giving up their freedom to live as a couple and have— all for society's sake— society insists that the single life is more miserable, when in fact the opposite is the case. Being caged up in a miserable relationship with seemingly no way out and afraid one might lose more than one would gain if one broke free of those shackles is a terrible way to live life. So, enjoy your singlehood while you can and only settle for the best partner when and if you eventually find one.

So watching porn is a crime eh?.The same porn he was watching with you back then,is now a crime,like what do you want ?..You have not even been touched by the harsh unseen problems and you Dey shout for porn?..is he that stupid that he won’t know where to put them porn files that you think the niece would have seen it!..You no wan do bedmatics,you just Dey complain of the sex but using porn as disguise..

Islandlady:
Good day nairalanders

I need your advice, if this is right or wrong!
I met my fiance October last year, we were doing well and he has introduced me to some of his family members including his mother...They all know me.

But the problem is, he has a lot of nasty and pornographic content on his phone and laptop, and it does not sit well with me.
Initially I did not go through his gallery or files but I decided to watch movie on his laptop last week and was surprised at the rubbish pictures and videos that I saw, I had to delete it all

I could remember during the Christmas holiday last year, his 12 years old niece and his mother came to visit us for the holiday and he gave his niece the laptop to watch movies so she will not be bored and I believed the little girl must have seen all this phonographic contents, which is bad

So I told him about it and express my displeasure with such attitude that he is a grown man and ready to settle down...that he should do away with all the rubbish stuffs he has on his phone, because I have the deleted the ones he had on his system. He flared up and started getting angry that I can't tell him what to do and have on his phone and walked out.

I am not a saint but I will appreciate my man to be decent, responsible and disciplined
I am thinking of ending the relationship with him, he is unrepentant...what do my fellow nairalanders think?

Aunty end the relationship and let the man rest. Which kind winch be this 😂

Ojagun:


See how women for this thread dey form innocent

Like sai no be them like anything fvck related pass

dude was gathering tutorial for their next fuvk

Dzzzz:
➜So watching porn is a crime eh?.The same porn he was watching with you back then,is now a crime,like what do you want ?..You have not even been touched by the harsh unseen problems and you Dey shout for porn?..is he that stupid that he won’t know where to put them porn files that you think the niece would have seen it!..You no wan do bedmatics,you just Dey complain of the sex but using porn as disguise..

Here's a fact! Watching porn does not make you better at sex or in the bed. Same way, watching James Bond movies does not magically transform you into a James Bond clone.

Kobojunkie:
Here's a fact! Watching porn does not make you better at sex or in the bed. Same way, watching James Bond movies does not magically transform you into a James Bond clone.

Chai,na why you 9yrs for school,too much carry over...Na to argue you come do and before we start,just show me where I said PORN MAKES YOU BETTER AT SEX”

Let the Yung nigga be.He ain't commit no crime by watching or having porn vids in his gadgets.

Does he has videos of Victoria cake,Annie belle,bunz 4 ever,,sexy ann,gogo fvckk me etc..though I don't watch porn I am eager to know the type of porn he has