₦airaland Forum

You may not understand how easy and fulfilling life can be until you embrace the philosophy of not minding about losing anything/anyone in principle and living it to the fullest - let your loyalty always first be to your conscience/justness.

Don't trade the well-being of your niece for anything, provided that you're certain that she isn't the cause of her husband's oppression on her.

Magnificenttop:
You made your niece marry someone you feel indebted to as a settlement and now your bad decision starts yielding results. But yet instead of remorse for your wrong move, it seems what you're more pained about is his lack of regard for you than your niece who was traded for financial favours.

I didn't "make" her marry him, neither did I encourage it. But I'll rather leave those details out.

How do you mean trading her for financial favors? I'm not broke. The last favor I received from my friend was my first job which was years before.she married my daughter.

Kobojunkie:
OP, did you sell the girl to your friend in return for all the good things and supposed kindness he showed you all those years? If not, why does it matter the gaslighting the manipuative arsehole you call your friend is using against you all while he continues to berate and abuse this girl you consider your daughter? 🙄🙄🙄

2. You genuinely appreciate him while he continues ruining your daughter's life in the way he does? Are you OK in the head at all? You should be telling him to go f-ck himself!

3. Your friend is using past niceness to gaslight you into becoming an accomplice to his abuse and possible violation of your own niece(your daughter). You had better stop this nonsense pity-party you are having and call that girl back home to you already. I don't know how you raised her, but her self-esteem may have been beaten up by all of this she has been enduring, and it is up to you to be strong on her behalf so she can finally escape that monster of a man you call your friend.

SMH. That she's my niece doesn't mean I'm her only surviving relative. She has a grandfather, who is also my father.

Worryingly:
➜SMH. That she's my niece doesn't mean I'm her only surviving relative. She has a grandfather, who is also my father.

But I don't see why it matters that you are not, though? In your OP, you presented yourself as someone who loves this girl as a father would love his child. I see now that isn't necessarily the case at all. Seems it may be best to ask that you inform her grandfather of the plight of his grandchild in marriage. Anyways, is your father—her grandfather— aware of the fact that his grandchild is being bullied — mentally assaulted — by her husband? If not, please inform him immediately so the girl can get a relative to maybe come to her rescue in all of this.

Worryingly:
Definitely not. And I genuinely hope you do not derail my post. Definitely, I didnt add so many parts of the encounter. I never knew he had abusive tendencies, neither did I introduce them. She married him at 26 FYI.

Now, what's your opinion on the OP

it's like u pimped your daughter for your rich guy n he later showed his colour.

The greatest mistake is to put marriage based on friendship and also put your brother or family in business.

Now u are handicapped n u too will b blackmailed if u try to do the right thing.

U played d wrong game cos u obviously saw money....that's my verdict

I guess they never dated each other. U used ur niece to return favour to the young man. That is how the young man sees everything.

Firebox123:
can you open South Africa PayPal for me

What's wrong with you??
Are you not ashamed of your very poor and disgraceful contributions to this thread?

Samantha125:
O nyaka eng

Could you please stop derailing the thread

Worryingly:
Definitely not. And I genuinely hope you do not derail my post. Definitely, I didnt add so many parts of the encounter. I never knew he had abusive tendencies, neither did I introduce them. She married him at 26 FYI.

Now, what's your opinion on the OP

Op, your story doesn't add up for me. Her parents died 10 years ago when she was 12 which would make her 22 years old. She's been married for 3 years but somehow she's 26 years old?

Brandiebird:
Op, your story doesn't add up for me. Her parents died 10 years ago when she was 12 which would make her 22 years old. She's been married for 3 years but somehow she's 26 years old?

Never wrote 10yrs ago though.

Worryingly:
Hello,

So I have a niece who has become a daughter to me. She lost both her parents in a widely published interstate public transport accident more than 10 years ago and I took her in. At the time, she was just 12 and i had just graduated. She has been living with me ever since. I saw her through secondary school and university till she got married 3 years ago to a friend of mine.

Now, this my friend was in the same fellowship with me in school and he had been of immense help to me when I was in school, even contributing a couple.of times to my school fees. One time he paid for my hostel fee in full in my final year as he had a business then. Even after graduation, we were still good and he helped me get my first job. But thank God, I later moved on from the job and doing very well for myself elsewhere now. Even though he is still more financially more stable.

Along the line, he told.me.he liked my niece and with my consent, they got married.

The problem now is that he treats my niece/daughter very badly. Loads of emotional and verbal abuse even accusing her of killing her parents and how she is useless and not up to his standard. I have interceded a couple of times, but no signs of the issue abating. He has no regard for me, and relates with me like a nobody. And covertly disrespects me.

Now, each time I want to take things up seriously with him, I'm reminded that he has been very kind to me. How he helped me over the years. That without him, I wouldnt have made it. Even to the extent of telling people that I'm ungrateful. That despite everything he did for me, I'm keeping malice with him.

I maintained that while I genuinely appreciate all he did for me. All that too has been overtaken by events. You cant be abusing my daughter and expect friendship and loyalty from me. I've been badly guilt tripped in this whole thing and sometimes I'm conflicted. Am I supposed to trade solidarity to my daughter for loyalty for a friend who doesmt regard me. We haven't spoken in months and he keeps telling people that despite all he did for me, I've decided to blank him.

Kindly advise. Nlfpmod

before i say anything how old is this your friend and how many children does your daughter has

Samantha125:
I'm a Nigerian.

U already know this.

Worryingly:
Never wrote 10yrs ago though.

I think this case is beyond what online strangers can solve for you. Most especially, online Nairaland strangers. Many of them are inexperienced in this level. They will rush to tell you to spoil the marriage.

You should get the grandfather of your daughter, the husband family or people he respects alot, and other marriage experienced and wise people involved.

Since there is no physical abuse, and it's a young marriage, it is sounding like a regular early phase of every marriage.