₦airaland Forum

Temitunz:
There’s a growing trend among Nigerian men relocating abroad while leaving their wives behind, sending only money home as if that’s enough to sustain a marriage. Financial support is important, but is it really a substitute for presence, partnership, and emotional connection?

Many of these women bear the weight of running the household alone, raising children without a father figure, and dealing with the loneliness of a distant marriage. Some endure years of waiting, hoping their husbands will return or send for them, only to face broken promises and fading love.

Marriage is more than just financial responsibility. If you're leaving your wife behind, are you also leaving behind your role as a husband and father?

Let’s talk what are your thoughts on this trend? Is money enough to sustain a marriage? #MarriageMatters #Relationships #NigerianMen #LongDistanceMarriage

was common in the 90s not today. Almost all the people that have relocated to uk, usa, Canada, finland legally in recent times took their wives. The ones that didn’t take mostly dont have papers or are married to a white woman for papers there they are. The women accept it in most cases. So what is our own?

ItisWell22:
From the comments above, one wonders the kind of marriages people are into these days.

No love or respect for the mother of your children.

It’s not well abeg.

Do the women love or respect the fathers of their children? It cuts both ways

elipheleh:
Who wants to carry a greedy mgbeke abroad?

In this generation, only a foolish man takes a woman abroad.
Most Nigerian girls don't deserve to be taken abroad. They will betray you.

Lies. Most men married and brought their wives to the abroad, even as students. Only those wey follow illegal routes don't do such. ALL the Nigerian men and even other African men who married took their wives along. One even fast-tracked his wife's papers faster than I expected. The other married in absentia and says he has started processing her papers. The one in the US moved for PhD studies and brought his wife the following year. The Nigerian professor carried his wife all the way from MSc to PhD to postdoc (all in Germany) to his assistant professor job here (Japan) and has later moved to the US. The Senegalese I knew married and brought his wife immediately. As a matter of fact, ALL the Nigerian PhD students I came across and knew except one got married and brought their wives over while they were PhD students. The ones from secondary school to university that I follow on social media all live with their wives from the US to Dubai to UK to Germany etc. ALL brought their wives because they are legal residents. Nothing stops a legal resident from bringing his/her spouse.

Gerrard59:
Lies. Most men married and brought their wives to the abroad, even as students. Only those wey follow illegal routes don't do such. ALL the Nigerian men and even other African men who married took their wives along. One even fast-tracked his wife's papers faster than I expected. The other married in absentia and says he has started processing her papers. The one in the US moved for PhD studies and brought his wife the following year. The Nigerian professor carried his wife all the way from MSc to PhD to postdoc (all in Germany) to his assistant professor job here (Japan) and has later moved to the US. The Senegalese I knew married and brought his wife immediately. As a matter of fact, ALL the Nigerian PhD students I came across and knew except one got married and brought their wives over while they were PhD students. The ones from secondary school to university that I follow on social media all live with their wives from the US to Dubai to UK to Germany etc. ALL brought their wives because they are legal residents. Nothing stops a legal resident from bringing his/her spouse.

ednut1:
was common in the 90s not today. Almost all the people that have relocated to uk, usa, Canada, finland legally in recent times took their wives. The ones that didn’t take mostly dont have papers or are married to a white woman for papers there they are. The women accept it in most cases. So what is our own?

I'm responding to you both because I'm fairly certain you're to be taken seriously.

In my over 30 years sojourn in the USA, I've noticed a GROWING TREND of Nigerian men living here who go home to marry and leave their wives in Nigeria. When I first got to the USA it was mainly guys in Continental Europe who did that sort of thing. Now I personally know pharmacists, doctors and engineers who went to find wives in Nigeria and kept those wives and their children in Nigeria.

Granted, your comments are about ALREADY MARRIED men who get visas and migrate abroad. The tale that needs telling is that Nigerian men are learning to defend themselves. Prenups are becoming a standard among the young Nigerian business owners and professionals with assets, in my day it was unusual.

In case you guys don't know, among middle class to upper middle class young adult ETHNIC Nigerians getting married these days - including those BORN IN THE USA & UK - it's the FEMALES who are more likely to seek out spouses living in Nigeria. Astonishing but true. Even more intriguing is that most recent male immigrants of the last 15 years when compared to my cohort are very unlikely to go home seeking a spouse. They know their compatriots very well. In my own view it coincides with rising poverty levels in Nigeria.

By the way, there's a USA wives club that's active and thriving in Owerri, Imo State. Again, I understand you're discussing those already married in Nigeria, this is a related matter.

So @elipheleh you do have a point. This is one of the most important issues for Nigerians abroad, especially in the West. There's an existential peril in associating with those still mired in poverty back in Nigeria; most of those generally thought of as rich in Nigeria are actually poor so it's easy to be deceived.

Good Luck to Nigerians

Money is only only to you but noat often than not you can't give that only to another human.

Like Seun

Lol Dey play na My friend wife leave am for here...

Naso my wife dey disturb me also oga if you want travel you're free I no dey interested so my wife too go soon leave me go

Just wait till una reach and she kicks you outta the house

Wait until woman leaves you because you are not financially okay then we will revisit this

This long distance of a thing is rubbish though. Also, I don't support anyone that has left Nigeria to go back and marry. It's stupidity.

Dummy

What do you mean by good gene pls?

FitCorper:
Me I feel some do it as a form of punishment to their wives. If a girl I’m to marry cheats on me and she has good genes. I can forgive her birth all my kids with her and then travel abroad keep sending her money and look for another wife over there.

Temitunz:
There’s a growing trend among Nigerian men relocating abroad while leaving their wives behind, sending only money home as if that’s enough to sustain a marriage. Financial support is important, but is it really a substitute for presence, partnership, and emotional connection?

Many of these women bear the weight of running the household alone, raising children without a father figure, and dealing with the loneliness of a distant marriage. Some endure years of waiting, hoping their husbands will return or send for them, only to face broken promises and fading love.

Marriage is more than just financial responsibility. If you're leaving your wife behind, are you also leaving behind your role as a husband and father?

Let’s talk what are your thoughts on this trend? Is money enough to sustain a marriage? #MarriageMatters #Relationships #NigerianMen #LongDistanceMarriage

Dey play

Temitunz:
There’s a growing trend among Nigerian men relocating abroad while leaving their wives behind, sending only money home as if that’s enough to sustain a marriage. Financial support is important, but is it really a substitute for presence, partnership, and emotional connection?

Many of these women bear the weight of running the household alone, raising children without a father figure, and dealing with the loneliness of a distant marriage. Some endure years of waiting, hoping their husbands will return or send for them, only to face broken promises and fading love.

Marriage is more than just financial responsibility. If you're leaving your wife behind, are you also leaving behind your role as a husband and father?

Let’s talk what are your thoughts on this trend? Is money enough to sustain a marriage? #MarriageMatters #Relationships #NigerianMen #LongDistanceMarriage

It's not easy to feed n provide shelter for woman in abroad

Many of them don't have papers yet which makes it difficult to bring partners over

femi4:
It's not easy to feed woman in abroad

Food should be the least of your worry if you're with a woman abroad.

MufasaLion:
Food should be the least of your worry if you're with a woman abroad.

Lolz
Shelter is no1 in abroad not food

Yeye write-up.

I don't want to say what's on my mind. Tired of getting banned

femi4:
Lolz
Shelter is no1 in abroad not food

And if you have a good job and a minimal family member, you should be fine.

MufasaLion:
And if you have a good job and a minimal family member, you should be fine.

How can you work n rent house without papers

Most of them don't have papers or their papers don't support bringing in family members

femi4:
How can you work n rent house without papers

Most of them don't have papers or their papers don't support bringing in family members

I'm actually talking about people that are legal migrants.

MufasaLion:
I'm actually talking about people that are legal migrants.

Most of them are illegal

I will do the same

femi4:
Most of them are illegal

Well, you can't say that "most."

We have no data to show that. However, I'm not disputing the fact that some are illegal.

Hustle.
Lack of proper immigration documents