₦airaland Forum

Wakatumbit:
I've made some previous posts about how my wife threatens me with leaving our marriage everytime we have small issues (I didn't post it with this account).
She always threaten to leave anytime we have misunderstandings, not even only misunderstandings, even when we are having normal conversations and someone refers to maybe a bad marriage experience, she always says if it's her she will leave. I've spoken to her about it several times, I have even spoken to her family about the issue but it keeps repeating itself.

She has this kind of mentality that she can leave the marriage at any time I do something to her and she repeats it every time, the last one was during an outing when we had a misunderstanding, even before hearing my own side of the story, she said she already tired of the marriage and wants to leave, so I told her to go if she wants. The next morning, she came to wake me up and told me she doesn't want to do again that she wants to leave, she said she'll call her people and I should call my people. I said fine.

I told my family about it, and they supported me because a woman can't threaten me with marriage after one child.

Another thing my wife does is that she constantly compares me to other men, telling people I don't provide for my family, I don't take care of her, to the extent her friends are telling her that if a man doesn't provide for his woman, then he's pushing her out to meet other men.

In regards to the issue of providing, when we met, things were going very well, it was just the two of us and I had money at the time, I took her on vacation, booked flights for her, bought her hairs, a new phone and all. But now we have a child, added responsibilities, and money isn't as it used to be before but one thing I never do is to starve my family.

Last year I made close to 20m but I didn't see the money, not because I'm an extravagant spender but because of family expenses, I can't even explained what happened to the money aside the fact that I bought a car.

I opened a business for her with almost 3 million, the business crumbled, she doesn't want to do anything, she stays home all day just pressing phone. If I don't have any money at all she can't support me, she calls me for everything, even to as little as salt in the house.

She started comparing our marriage to when she was single, that she used to wear the lastest clothes and buy the lastest hair, and now she's married she doesn't get those things forgetting those where the thing I used to do for her when there was enough money.


This whole thing has made me tired of the marriage and I don't feel like continuing it any more, I've told her to call her people since she doesn't want to continue the marriage so they can return the bride price. I just want to focus on my life

Wakatumbit:
I've made some previous posts about how my wife threatens me with leaving our marriage everytime we have small issues (I didn't post it with this account).
She always threaten to leave anytime we have misunderstandings, not even only misunderstandings, even when we are having normal conversations and someone refers to maybe a bad marriage experience, she always says if it's her she will leave. I've spoken to her about it several times, I have even spoken to her family about the issue but it keeps repeating itself.

She has this kind of mentality that she can leave the marriage at any time I do something to her and she repeats it every time, the last one was during an outing when we had a misunderstanding, even before hearing my own side of the story, she said she already tired of the marriage and wants to leave, so I told her to go if she wants. The next morning, she came to wake me up and told me she doesn't want to do again that she wants to leave, she said she'll call her people and I should call my people. I said fine.

I told my family about it, and they supported me because a woman can't threaten me with marriage after one child.

Another thing my wife does is that she constantly compares me to other men, telling people I don't provide for my family, I don't take care of her, to the extent her friends are telling her that if a man doesn't provide for his woman, then he's pushing her out to meet other men.

In regards to the issue of providing, when we met, things were going very well, it was just the two of us and I had money at the time, I took her on vacation, booked flights for her, bought her hairs, a new phone and all. But now we have a child, added responsibilities, and money isn't as it used to be before but one thing I never do is to starve my family.

Last year I made close to 20m but I didn't see the money, not because I'm an extravagant spender but because of family expenses, I can't even explained what happened to the money aside the fact that I bought a car.

I opened a business for her with almost 3 million, the business crumbled, she doesn't want to do anything, she stays home all day just pressing phone. If I don't have any money at all she can't support me, she calls me for everything, even to as little as salt in the house.

She started comparing our marriage to when she was single, that she used to wear the lastest clothes and buy the lastest hair, and now she's married she doesn't get those things forgetting those where the thing I used to do for her when there was enough money.


This whole thing has made me tired of the marriage and I don't feel like continuing it any more, I've told her to call her people since she doesn't want to continue the marriage so they can return the bride price. I just want to focus on my life

Starz825:
You are right

However , I never said anyone is perfect...but there are certain things that has to be there before you take anyone seriously...that can somehow guarantee your longevity.. moreso, we all need to lower our expectations on people generally...especially with women....

Anyone can mess you up....your close pal...your parents...your siblings...your friends...your colleagues.....so it's not just your woman in the house....

This is Life

FuckYeyeMods:
Have you separated..
I went through same but in my case, I turn the table but I woke up one day and my wife disappeared with my kids just to punish them and me.
Her mind is not in the marriage but she don't want to leave peacefully.
I beg her to leave the children and go start a brand new life she wanted. But instead she disappeared with my children saying I'm the one that wanted her to leave. Unfortunately she's back with the kids. But I couldn't forget everything she's telling people.

Wakatumbit:
I've made some previous posts about how my wife threatens me with leaving our marriage everytime we have small issues (I didn't post it with this account).
She always threaten to leave anytime we have misunderstandings, not even only misunderstandings, even when we are having normal conversations and someone refers to maybe a bad marriage experience, she always says if it's her she will leave. I've spoken to her about it several times, I have even spoken to her family about the issue but it keeps repeating itself.

She has this kind of mentality that she can leave the marriage at any time I do something to her and she repeats it every time, the last one was during an outing when we had a misunderstanding, even before hearing my own side of the story, she said she already tired of the marriage and wants to leave, so I told her to go if she wants. The next morning, she came to wake me up and told me she doesn't want to do again that she wants to leave, she said she'll call her people and I should call my people. I said fine.

I told my family about it, and they supported me because a woman can't threaten me with marriage after one child.

Another thing my wife does is that she constantly compares me to other men, telling people I don't provide for my family, I don't take care of her, to the extent her friends are telling her that if a man doesn't provide for his woman, then he's pushing her out to meet other men.

In regards to the issue of providing, when we met, things were going very well, it was just the two of us and I had money at the time, I took her on vacation, booked flights for her, bought her hairs, a new phone and all. But now we have a child, added responsibilities, and money isn't as it used to be before but one thing I never do is to starve my family.

Last year I made close to 20m but I didn't see the money, not because I'm an extravagant spender but because of family expenses, I can't even explained what happened to the money aside the fact that I bought a car.

I opened a business for her with almost 3 million, the business crumbled, she doesn't want to do anything, she stays home all day just pressing phone. If I don't have any money at all she can't support me, she calls me for everything, even to as little as salt in the house.

She started comparing our marriage to when she was single, that she used to wear the lastest clothes and buy the lastest hair, and now she's married she doesn't get those things forgetting those where the thing I used to do for her when there was enough money.


This whole thing has made me tired of the marriage and I don't feel like continuing it any more, I've told her to call her people since she doesn't want to continue the marriage so they can return the bride price. I just want to focus on my life

Double0h7:
So men are leaders only when it suits them?

Is the ship not his?

Why wouldn't he fix it when his seed is on board the ship?

An honourable captain goes down with his ship!

goran3310:
My ex-wife blackmailed me with divorce for 15 years. We were married for 25 years, and 15 of those years were hell. I waited all that time for the children to grow up because I knew she would completely ruin them if she took them while they were young.
As soon as we divorced, she immediately started a relationship with another man. A year later, she got married. The children were left to live alone in a rented apartment. After about 6 months, she started blackmailing him with divorce. That lasted for two months, where she would pack up for the smallest things and come to the apartment with the children. Now they are divorcing. Their marriage lasted a total of 8 months. Of course, I found all this out from the children. They are 26 and 19 years old. Their comment on everything: "God forbid anyone goes through this. What a circus."

Ishilove:
And I know the exact reasons you're asking. They also crossed my mind

Wakatumbit:
I've made some previous posts about how my wife threatens me with leaving our marriage everytime we have small issues (I didn't post it with this account).
She always threaten to leave anytime we have misunderstandings, not even only misunderstandings, even when we are having normal conversations and someone refers to maybe a bad marriage experience, she always says if it's her she will leave. I've spoken to her about it several times, I have even spoken to her family about the issue but it keeps repeating itself.


You don’t sound like you are ready for a divorce. You are not ready at all. You are both adults which bride price are you waiting for?


If she is the one who is supposed leave the house drive her out and if it’s you who should then take what’s yours and leave. Stop with excessive talk.

She has this kind of mentality that she can leave the marriage at any time I do something to her and she repeats it every time, the last one was during an outing when we had a misunderstanding, even before hearing my own side of the story, she said she already tired of the marriage and wants to leave, so I told her to go if she wants. The next morning, she came to wake me up and told me she doesn't want to do again that she wants to leave, she said she'll call her people and I should call my people. I said fine.

I told my family about it, and they supported me because a woman can't threaten me with marriage after one child.

Another thing my wife does is that she constantly compares me to other men, telling people I don't provide for my family, I don't take care of her, to the extent her friends are telling her that if a man doesn't provide for his woman, then he's pushing her out to meet other men.

In regards to the issue of providing, when we met, things were going very well, it was just the two of us and I had money at the time, I took her on vacation, booked flights for her, bought her hairs, a new phone and all. But now we have a child, added responsibilities, and money isn't as it used to be before but one thing I never do is to starve my family.

Last year I made close to 20m but I didn't see the money, not because I'm an extravagant spender but because of family expenses, I can't even explained what happened to the money aside the fact that I bought a car.

I opened a business for her with almost 3 million, the business crumbled, she doesn't want to do anything, she stays home all day just pressing phone. If I don't have any money at all she can't support me, she calls me for everything, even to as little as salt in the house.

She started comparing our marriage to when she was single, that she used to wear the lastest clothes and buy the lastest hair, and now she's married she doesn't get those things forgetting those where the thing I used to do for her when there was enough money.


This whole thing has made me tired of the marriage and I don't feel like continuing it any more, I've told her to call her people since she doesn't want to continue the marriage so they can return the bride price. I just want to focus on my life

goran3310:
You clearly don't have money.
What should he have attracted her with?
A big dick?
Love songs?
What should he have attracted her with?
What do you attract woman with?

Wakatumbit:
I've made some previous posts about how my wife threatens me with leaving our marriage everytime we have small issues (I didn't post it with this account).
She always threaten to leave anytime we have misunderstandings, not even only misunderstandings, even when we are having normal conversations and someone refers to maybe a bad marriage experience, she always says if it's her she will leave. I've spoken to her about it several times, I have even spoken to her family about the issue but it keeps repeating itself.

She has this kind of mentality that she can leave the marriage at any time I do something to her and she repeats it every time, the last one was during an outing when we had a misunderstanding, even before hearing my own side of the story, she said she already tired of the marriage and wants to leave, so I told her to go if she wants. The next morning, she came to wake me up and told me she doesn't want to do again that she wants to leave, she said she'll call her people and I should call my people. I said fine.

Zocalite:
15yrs ke

O ga o

You allow her stay too long around, she would have contaminated the psyche of the children

Wakatumbit:
I've made some previous posts about how my wife threatens me with leaving our marriage everytime we have small issues (I didn't post it with this account).
She always threaten to leave anytime we have misunderstandings, not even only misunderstandings, even when we are having normal conversations and someone refers to maybe a bad marriage experience, she always says if it's her she will leave. I've spoken to her about it several times, I have even spoken to her family about the issue but it keeps repeating itself.

She has this kind of mentality that she can leave the marriage at any time I do something to her and she repeats it every time, the last one was during an outing when we had a misunderstanding, even before hearing my own side of the story, she said she already tired of the marriage and wants to leave, so I told her to go if she wants. The next morning, she came to wake me up and told me she doesn't want to do again that she wants to leave, she said she'll call her people and I should call my people. I said fine.

I told my family about it, and they supported me because a woman can't threaten me with marriage after one child.

Another thing my wife does is that she constantly compares me to other men, telling people I don't provide for my family, I don't take care of her, to the extent her friends are telling her that if a man doesn't provide for his woman, then he's pushing her out to meet other men.

In regards to the issue of providing, when we met, things were going very well, it was just the two of us and I had money at the time, I took her on vacation, booked flights for her, bought her hairs, a new phone and all. But now we have a child, added responsibilities, and money isn't as it used to be before but one thing I never do is to starve my family.

Last year I made close to 20m but I didn't see the money, not because I'm an extravagant spender but because of family expenses, I can't even explained what happened to the money aside the fact that I bought a car.

I opened a business for her with almost 3 million, the business crumbled, she doesn't want to do anything, she stays home all day just pressing phone. If I don't have any money at all she can't support me, she calls me for everything, even to as little as salt in the house.

She started comparing our marriage to when she was single, that she used to wear the lastest clothes and buy the lastest hair, and now she's married she doesn't get those things forgetting those where the thing I used to do for her when there was enough money.


This whole thing has made me tired of the marriage and I don't feel like continuing it any more, I've told her to call her people since she doesn't want to continue the marriage so they can return the bride price. I just want to focus on my life

hardass:
When u marry and children dey involved u go understand. .

goran3310:
I'll tell you brutally honestly from personal experience. And other men feel the same way. Few want to admit it.

When you divorce a woman, you also divorce your children.

A man changes during a divorce. Divorce is a major trauma for a man, much greater than for a woman.

Psychologically, a man changes, and he is never again the man he was before.

How the psychological process unfolds:
* A complete breakdown of everything he believed in.
* Complete disappointment in the woman for whom he was ready to give his life.
* From all of this, the conclusion is drawn: She is the wrong woman.


A second after that conclusion follows: I had children with the wrong woman. Wrong woman = wrong genetics = wrong offspring = wrong children.

In the meantime, the court has awarded custody of the children to the woman.

By default, a woman alone cannot raise children properly + you are separated from these children and are unable to influence their further development. You helplessly watch as these children deteriorate under the influence of bad company and media, social networks, etc., neglected by their mother. All of this only confirms your conclusion that these children are wrong.

You become increasingly certain that you made a mistake and wasted your time. You frantically search for the right woman with whom to have new children.

You invest all your resources in this endeavor.

Staying in the marriage:
The children grow up in a toxic marriage where the father is daily humiliated and bullied. This is an example of behavior for the children that they will adopt as normal and what these children will bring into their own marriage in the future.

In the end, the man is completely destroyed. He divorces when the children are grown.

Double0h7:
I understand its a sensitive topic and I probably have zero knowledge or experience but I just feel so bad for the children. Men here are sensitive and I don't want to be insulted for expressing anything contrary to the consensus at play which is divorce her. It would just be nice to hear some other solutions.

I would advise figuring out what the other person needs, wants, feels, and thinks. In this case op obviously over pampered his wife in the beginning to win her love, he continued with this plan until it was unsustainable.

The mature thing wouldn't be to jump ship but to admit to himself and his wife that what he did was wrong. He could take into consideration that he robbed this woman of a dream she had: to marry a man that can comfortably look after her. He has to confess, seek forgiveness and come up with a plan that can get them from where they are to where they need to be.

I believe op wanted to spoil his wife and family! He too dreamed of having the finer things in life. I think op is probably capable of providing that life for his family and all he's asking for is some time, a team player and some peace.

If he could convey that to his wife in a humble manner, I believe if she has sense she might play along. The reason she's shouting for a divorce is she feels like she's been sold a false dream. Men say everything (lies) to tie down the woman they want. Until those men could admit to their problem instead of fighting the woman (gaslight her) to be what she never claimed to be.

Ops wife made it clear that she wanted the soft life before they were married. In fact men like op, approach with the bs without you even asking! He'll buy this, spend this, take you here, take you there! He will create a fake image of himself. Then when we're locked in (marriage and kids) he'll start telling you to budget the water, don't use too much tissue paper, I can't buy meat this month! This is the same man who took you two 5 star restaurants! Then he'll tell everyone that listens that you are an unreasonable woman, your lazy, you waste money.

Men are teaching each other that women love lies.
Don't tell her truth because she'll leave or cheat. This is the result when men lie about their abilities, needs, and requirements. If he was honest and up front he's wife wouldn't have married him and he knew that from day 1.

Zocalite:
I don't get

Understand that?

EDGEof2MORO:
na you go marry woman wey need to buy hair when she no get cancer. I can never marry a girl that is so insecure about her natural appearance. it is a huge red flag! if she can not be satisfied with the hair she was born with, she will never be saisfied with anything in this life even if she go meet that rich man wey don dey seduce am.

Wakatumbit:
I've made some previous posts about how my wife threatens me with leaving our marriage everytime we have small issues (I didn't post it with this account).
She always threaten to leave anytime we have misunderstandings, not even only misunderstandings, even when we are having normal conversations and someone refers to maybe a bad marriage experience, she always says if it's her she will leave. I've spoken to her about it several times, I have even spoken to her family about the issue but it keeps repeating itself.

She has this kind of mentality that she can leave the marriage at any time I do something to her and she repeats it every time, the last one was during an outing when we had a misunderstanding, even before hearing my own side of the story, she said she already tired of the marriage and wants to leave, so I told her to go if she wants. The next morning, she came to wake me up and told me she doesn't want to do again that she wants to leave, she said she'll call her people and I should call my people. I said fine.

I told my family about it, and they supported me because a woman can't threaten me with marriage after one child.

Another thing my wife does is that she constantly compares me to other men, telling people I don't provide for my family, I don't take care of her, to the extent her friends are telling her that if a man doesn't provide for his woman, then he's pushing her out to meet other men.

In regards to the issue of providing, when we met, things were going very well, it was just the two of us and I had money at the time, I took her on vacation, booked flights for her, bought her hairs, a new phone and all. But now we have a child, added responsibilities, and money isn't as it used to be before but one thing I never do is to starve my family.

Last year I made close to 20m but I didn't see the money, not because I'm an extravagant spender but because of family expenses, I can't even explained what happened to the money aside the fact that I bought a car.

I opened a business for her with almost 3 million, the business crumbled, she doesn't want to do anything, she stays home all day just pressing phone. If I don't have any money at all she can't support me, she calls me for everything, even to as little as salt in the house.

She started comparing our marriage to when she was single, that she used to wear the lastest clothes and buy the lastest hair, and now she's married she doesn't get those things forgetting those where the thing I used to do for her when there was enough money.


This whole thing has made me tired of the marriage and I don't feel like continuing it any more, I've told her to call her people since she doesn't want to continue the marriage so they can return the bride price. I just want to focus on my life

emmaodet:
Baba, seems you have seen shege based on your comment.