₦airaland Forum

It's going to be a long read. I'll like to describe my paternal and maternal families.

My late dad played a vital role in both families. In the paternal, he trained all both in business, education and even sent some abroad. His after thought was that they will replicate same gesture on his kids. It wasn't tho..Even when he died, they were looking to sell his lands so they could fund the burial..igbo burials are expensive. Tho they helped once in a while after we all became graduates.

Now to my maternal family, my dad also contributed. Gave Mom's bro a job, trained one in university, trained one and settled in the university.. They tried tho as we spent most of our university hols with them and they gave us some stipends while in school.

Mom's bro, their first son, who's my uncle, call him Uncle T, really tried for us.
We went to private university so fees are quite expensive. Dad would borrow money from Uncle T and pay back so we could pay fees. When Dad and my late sis passed away, he also contributed to it positively.

The only problem with Uncle T is arrogance and pride. When my mom would plead to borrow money for fees when we're in school, he would flare up and say things like 'he has not trained his own kids and he wants to contribute for another'. Tho he may later do it but he always says some hurtful things before helping.

Sometimes, he would come in my room in his house and start searching if I were with a lady. Also told his kids to stop playing with me. I noticed .

I endured a lot of these but after my dad's burial, I made sure I left his apartment and got mine even tho it was difficult.. I needed to be a man and get my own respect no matter how little because the insults were becoming too much.

My younger bro also moved in with me. I noticed my uncle wasn't happy with my relocation but I was happier and had peace of mind. He talked well with my younger bro and I noticed my brother's attitude towards me changed. Ive asked him what the problem was but he keeps pretending that all was well.

My uncle never visited me for once for the 2 years I spent in my new apartment but when I got a job in Lagos, his kids visited my younger bro.

I still try as much as possible to call him every 1st of a new month to greet him. One of my younger siblings who's still in school goes to his house for hols. I had a very strange feeling about him so I called my uncle, after all the greetings and after asking about his family, I asked after my younger bro and he said all was well.

Few days later younger bro called me to tell me he's only being fed once a day and he uses his money to go to his shop daily and he's sick. I felt bad tho and I gave him funds to take care of himself.

The one that pained me to date was when I told him I'd get married soon. He appeared happy and said I should carry him along on everything. I made sure I did from when we went for lab tests and all.

Unfortunately, the wedding didn't work out due to family disagreement. My mom communicated to her family. Her brothers called me except my uncle. I called him and he said.."yes , your mom told me everything and I said I won't call you. You shouldn't be angry..it's one of those things..I didn't give birth to a boy...only girls"

This was too vile..I told my mom about it but she sounded defensive.

There are lots I can't type here but for now...I've stopped calling him or any relative.

The way you allow people to treat you is what will continue.

Maintain your lane, focus on your family, try and draw your siblings close and only call him once in a year.

Respect is reciprocal. Stop feeling subservient to him.

SKhanmi:
The way you allow people to treat you is what will continue.

Maintain your lane, focus on your family, try and draw your siblings close and only call him once in a year.

Respect is reciprocal. Stop feeling subservient to him.

thank you

What if none of them treated you well even when your father was alive?

Its good that you are coming of age and you see how siblings who honestly loved each other and were inseperate as kids grow up to become resentful to each other. That's life and it happens.

Focus on your future and personal development. Build new relationships. It would suprise you that "some" friends become closer than family.

If you can, do well to take care of your nieces and nephews. They're the ones who would come through when you are old and wrinkled.

laivwire:
What if none of them treated you well even when your father was alive?

Its good that you are coming of age and you see how siblings who honestly loved each other and were inseperate as kids grow up to become resentful to each other. That's life and it happens.

Focus on your future and personal development. Build new relationships. It would suprise you that "some" friends become closer than family.

If you can, do well to take care of your nieces and nephews. They're the ones who would come through when you are old and wrinkled.

yeah sure I will...I just didn't understand where the resentment to me was coming from.

adaperry25:
yeah sure I will...I just didn't understand where the resentment to me was coming from.

Ask your mother since he is her brother and the one who was meant to be responsible for your upbringing since you are her child.

Kobojunkie:
Ask your mother since he is her brother and the one who was meant to be responsible for your upbringing since you are her child.

I have..
I do challenge his opinions...he doesn't want to. He hates corrections as long as he has money. Also because I left his house to rent an apartment

adaperry25:
✓ I have..
I do challenge his opinions...he doesn't want to.
✓ He hates corrections as long as he has money. Also because I left his house to rent an apartment

You asked your mother and she told you what?

2. Since you already moved out of his house and he is not your direct parent, his opinion should not really matter so much to you unless it is directly pushed at you or against you.

adaperry25:
thank you

But why are you posting this again and again?