₦airaland Forum

dauntless15:
First off, sorry about your dad, but being a guy you're now the representation of your late dad, you should have a say in her life, where I'm from mother's respect Thier eldest son as well especially when the dad is not there anymore and the son is now the man of the house, sit her down, be a man and confront her, your confrontation shouldn't be provocation nor disrespect, calmly tell her the implications of what she's considering and tell her you will loose all respect you have for her if she goes through with it, not outright threat o, but guilt trip her emotionally with intelligence, and observe her reaction.

highchief1:
no Toto is meant for one man.its either people used it before u came or people will use it when you leave.

frozen70:
This is a very disturbing situation but you have to take it the way it's coming and accept the reality

First of all, your mum is a very lazy woman, she lacks the zeal to take up responsibility after the demise of your dad

She will rather remarry as a second or third wife than to hustle and train your sibblings she is not the struggling type that will preserve her late husband's family or name

You on your own side, you can't kill yourself as it's painful to you, just face your front if you know that you can't provide for your sibblings and can't put them under your roof

When you think you are now man enough to take the responsibilities of your sibblings, you can negotiate with her new husband, reward him financially and return back your sibblings to your father's house

Your mother no send anyone of you because she is just self centred and for her not to starve, she will accept any type of marriage proposals not minding if she will find peace in an already made home of another woman

Just let it be, no one is going to care for your sibblings if she leaves them behind, and leaving them behind means starvations and you will still be the one they will be calling upon, while she is enjoying herself in her new home

Chram:
Second wife for that matter

frozen70:
Like I said, she wants a man that will look after her not the children that will stress her life to start training them after the death of your dad

So leave her let her do what she wants

A time will come you guys too will leave her to face the choice that she is making today

Chram:
Humm.
I just feel like leaving this world right now 😭

frozen70:
Then she won and you loose

Start thinking of how to sort things out leave her to do what is in her mind

oluplus:
Hey Op,

What exactly is the issue here?
That she wants to remarry or the man she's getting married to?

At 45/46, your mum is still young and deserves to be happy.

I advise you to discuss your fear with her first and don't just live in assumption.

No reasonable mother will throw away her children because she's getting married to another man. That's an imagination happening in your head.
Pls discuss with your mum and hear her side of the story.

Sorry about the demise of your dad.

Chram:
Ok.
Than you Ma 🙏

frozen70:
Welcome Bros, this life no balance at times what people do can provoke you

CJStarz:
D man dat proposed to her didn't do well knowing fully well she has sons.

Chram:
I've done this already
😭😭😭

dauntless15:
Then respect her wishes, pull your siblings closer and take care of yourself, you can be strong on your own, if she doesn't value you people enough to sacrifice let her go create her new family, you'll be fine.

Chram:
That grandpa will never listen to me. He knows I'm mad at him and my mum right now

Chram:
Sir, u won't understand. U won't understand at all. There are things I cannot say here publicly

Chram:
I've tried doing so, but they see me as a child who knows nothing

Chram:
➜Pls help me beg her not to leave us pls 😭😭😭
➜My dad's spirit will never be pleased whenever he is now

Chram:
Pls avoid this thread if you have nothing good to say. Pls. Don't add to my anger

Chram:
I write with Pains in my heart.
I wish to ask God why some certain events occur in life.
I have lots of questions to ask, but nobody to give me answers.

I describe as Selfish, inconsiderate and egoistical the decision of my mum to remarry.

So, I lost my lovely and caring dad six years ago. We had lived in Port Harcourt prior to his death. When we were traveling to the village, we packed all the little properties we had cos we were not going to return back to PH again since my mum would not be able to cater for myself and little siblings.
After the burial and funeral ceremony, we all stayed in the village. I mean a typical village where there's no good road, no electricity, no mobile network. I stayed for a few months, then left them to go squat with my friends in port Harcourt so I could hustle with my muscles and return back to sch at least because it had always been my dad's desire for all of us to go to sch, so I beat my chest and vowed that I would go to sch and graduate. Thank God, I'm done with sch now.

My current challenge now is my mum is in her mid forties and wants to remarry to a man in the village. She hasn't told me yet. But my paternal aunt called to inform me. I'm really worried because if she gets remarried, she will abandon my younger siblings who are there with her because she won't be allowed to take my siblings to her new husband's house as it is an abomination based on the customs and traditions of our place. If my siblings must live with her in that place, then they will have to start bearing the new husband's name as his children. Why ?

Also, as a male child, I'm not allowed to go visit here and eat or sleep over in her new house. If I do this, I might die. Why is this?

Based on reports, my grandfather(mum's dad) is the one mounting pressure on my mum to get married. I'm really worried about the whole situation because the ties between my mum and my siblings are about to be severed. Since my dad died, my mum has been living in her father's house instead of my dad's place. Though both places aren't far from each other. Its trekkable. I feel really hurt and betrayed, I can't even imagine my mum in the arms of another man. If I was stable in monetary and economic terms, I would have taken her out of that dungeon to come live with me, and also bring siblings along. I'm really pained as I type. Tears.. my dad died at age 47.

Marriagena scam!

Chram:
I write with Pains in my heart.
I wish to ask God why some certain events occur in life.
I have lots of questions to ask, but nobody to give me answers.

I describe as Selfish, inconsiderate and egoistical the decision of my mum to remarry.

So, I lost my lovely and caring dad six years ago. We had lived in Port Harcourt prior to his death. When we were traveling to the village, we packed all the little properties we had cos we were not going to return back to PH again since my mum would not be able to cater for myself and little siblings.
After the burial and funeral ceremony, we all stayed in the village. I mean a typical village where there's no good road, no electricity, no mobile network. I stayed for a few months, then left them to go squat with my friends in port Harcourt so I could hustle with my muscles and return back to sch at least because it had always been my dad's desire for all of us to go to sch, so I beat my chest and vowed that I would go to sch and graduate. Thank God, I'm done with sch now.

My current challenge now is my mum is in her mid forties and wants to remarry to a man in the village. She hasn't told me yet. But my paternal aunt called to inform me. I'm really worried because if she gets remarried, she will abandon my younger siblings who are there with her because she won't be allowed to take my siblings to her new husband's house as it is an abomination based on the customs and traditions of our place. If my siblings must live with her in that place, then they will have to start bearing the new husband's name as his children. Why ?

Also, as a male child, I'm not allowed to go visit here and eat or sleep over in her new house. If I do this, I might die. Why is this?

Based on reports, my grandfather(mum's dad) is the one mounting pressure on my mum to get married. I'm really worried about the whole situation because the ties between my mum and my siblings are about to be severed. Since my dad died, my mum has been living in her father's house instead of my dad's place. Though both places aren't far from each other. Its trekkable. I feel really hurt and betrayed, I can't even imagine my mum in the arms of another man. If I was stable in monetary and economic terms, I would have taken her out of that dungeon to come live with me, and also bring siblings along. I'm really pained as I type. Tears.. my dad died at age 47.

I wish u guys can beg my mum not to remarry please. What's the difference between me and someone from a Broken background?
Life is not fair to me and my siblings. Not fair at all. I know how I'm feeling right now.

Let me make it clear at this point that if her plans of remarrying goes through, I will dis-mother her. I'll cut all ties and destroy every bond that ever existed between herself and us the children.

File photo used for illustration

Chram:
Guy, this isn't funny at all

Chram:
Amen. Thank you Sir. The man isn't a native doctor and not diabolical at all.

madridguy:
Your major concerns should be on how to talk to the elders in your community to review the archaic laws and customs of your land.

Your grandfather has done well pushing his
daughter " your mom " to get another man. She needs to be happy too and move on. Her marriage vow/oath have broken so no point being single for the rest of her life.

As for your junior ones, you as the first born should try and bring in your late father relatives into this, let them pick up their responsibilities.

I wish your mom happy married life in advance.

Chram:
😭😭😭

b3llo:
I know you will be struggling deep down with fact that your mum will leave you people.and marry another man.

Please keep sentiments aside, let her be if that is what will give her peace. You have to man up and chart a new pathway for your siblings to follow. Groom, care and provide for them. Life has already placed you in an unfavourable position since you are the first male child. However, how you react to it defines who you are.