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Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief - Romance - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralRomanceMessages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief (34188 Views)

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Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by Atasko(op): 5:35pm On Jun 11, 2025
Hi. I had this chat with my girlfriend today and I'm here wondering if I have been having a messed up principle. I personally don't believe in violence. I will rather involve the authority than get physical. While growing up, I have always believed that hitting a woman irrespective of her actions is totally wrong until I was slapped in SS1 by a hot tempered girl. I didn't hit her back but I randomly think about it ever since grin. After that, I decided to always return every assault irrespective of the gender. But now I'm questioning that principle after this convoy. Am I wrong? What will you do in a similar situation?

Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by JAOS(m): 6:04pm On Jun 11, 2025
I can only hit a woman back in public space because if anything happens to her in my house I will be held responsible even if she started the fight the law will favor the woman best I can do is to push her out of my house and if she is a risk to me I will report her to the authorities thats all😁
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by Double0h7(f): 6:27pm On Jun 11, 2025
I think you should stand on your principle. She's trying to manipulate you into accepting violence from a woman under the guise that she is weaker and her hits won't hurt.

An abuser, male or female, start their violence small. It will be a slap here and there, pulling and tearing your clothes, and then one day it be an object to the back of the head, or a knife in your chest. Stop violence from the dot!
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by Atasko(op): 6:48pm On Jun 11, 2025
Double0h7:
I think you should stand on your principle. She's trying to manipulate you into accepting violence from a woman under the guise that she is weaker and her hits won't hurt.

An abuser, male or female, start their violence small. It will be a slap here and there, pulling and tearing your clothes, and then one day it be an object to the back of the head, or a knife in your chest. Stop violence from the dot!
That's my thought process as well. She sees nothing wrong with a woman hitting a man but frowns at the retaliation. I see it as double standard. She's literally keeping malice with me over this our conversation lol
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by Atasko(op): 6:49pm On Jun 11, 2025
JAOS:
I can only hit a woman back in public space because if anything happens to her in my house I will be held responsible even if she started the fight the law will favor the woman best I can do is to push her out of my house and if she is a risk to me I will report her to the authorities thats all😁
If you can hit her back then, we have similar principle then grin. I don't know why she feel it's wrong to hit back.
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by NOTORIOUS100(m):
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by Double0h7(f): 6:51pm On Jun 11, 2025
Atasko:
That's my thought process as well. She sees nothing wrong with a woman hitting a man but frowns at the retaliation. I see it as double standard. She's literally keeping malice with me over this our conversation lol
If you guys make up after this and she tests her hypothesis, don't forget to slap the saliva out of her mouth. Everybody should keep their hands to themselves.
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by EmperorIsaac(m): 7:12pm On Jun 11, 2025
Double0h7:
I think you should stand on your principle. She's trying to manipulate you into accepting violence from a woman under the guise that she is weaker and her hits won't hurt.

An abuser, male or female, start their violence small. It will be a slap here and there, pulling and tearing your clothes, and then one day it be an object to the back of the head, or a knife in your chest. Stop violence from the dot!
Seconded!
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by rampage101(m): 7:39pm On Jun 11, 2025
Atasko:
If you can hit her back then, we have similar principle then grin. I don't know why she feel it's wrong to hit back.
Gen Z cruise both
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by Unseen(m): 10:54pm On Jun 11, 2025
In military, one of the Rules of Engagement states that a civilian with a weapon is military and should be treated as such.

In man/woman relationship... A woman that hits you first is a Man and should be treated as such
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by franugo(m): 12:28am On Jun 12, 2025
Unseen:
In military, one of the Rules of Engagement states that a civilian with a weapon is military and should be treated as such.

In man/woman relationship... A woman that hits you first is a Man and should be treated as such
Na better update be this kai!

Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by Africanwardrobe(m): 1:14am On Jun 12, 2025
Double0h7:
I think you should stand on your principle. She's trying to manipulate you into accepting violence from a woman under the guise that she is weaker and her hits won't hurt.

An abuser, male or female, start their violence small. It will be a slap here and there, pulling and tearing your clothes, and then one day it be an object to the back of the head, or a knife in your chest. Stop violence from the dot!
E be like her name na Palestina & him name be Israel... trust me, we go hear gist soon
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by DOUBLEBARREL(m): 2:25am On Jun 12, 2025
I'd have deflected the question thus by asking her,.... who is your favorite male celebrity ?,,, answers(davido, Wizkid,2 face e.t.c),.. would you ever think to slap him if you were in a relationship with him ? (The añswer would be No)... If I were an ideal boyfriend in your perception you wouldn't think these thoughts.. except maybe u are confusing me with some one else.
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by MMempire(m): 3:08am On Jun 12, 2025
Just simple law of Moses, an eye for an eye.
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by tuoyoojo(m): 4:37am On Jun 12, 2025
Who price must buy

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction - na so physics test book talk

I detest violence because I believe that via communication every misunderstanding can be resolved

But a woman who decides to go low and hit a man should be ready for the equal and opposite reaction.

What ever made her to use her hands instead of mouth to talk, should get her body ready for whatever follows

I believe its all these yeye western movies where woman go tear man better slap and the man go walk away, nine dey give some girls morale to wear man when strong pass u 500
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by Bonjovi13: 6:06am On Jun 12, 2025
You have probably lost her going by her reaction.
Never ever admit that you can hit a woman for whatever reason even if she hits you first.

Your position should be that upon provocation you would diffuse the situation or walk away. That shows that you have self control which is a trait any woman would prefer because they know that they can get out of line one day and they would need you to be the bigger man to diffuse the situation or walk away.

The way you said you would retaliate against a woman who hit you, made you seem like someone who would not hesitate to assault a woman physically if she ever gets out of line by hitting you. She will never feel safe with you. Hence her withdrawal.

I suggest you apologise and change your
position. Assure her that you now understand how your words may have come across.

Tell her that you will make sure that you will never make her mad to the extent that she will hit you and that God forbid if that happens, you will with love and maturity diffuse the situation or walk away.
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by Juliearth(f): 6:09am On Jun 12, 2025
Atasko:
Hi. I had this chat with my girlfriend today and I'm here wondering if I have been having a messed up principle. I personally don't believe in violence. I will rather involve the authority than get physical. While growing up, I have always believed that hitting a woman irrespective of her actions is totally wrong until I was slapped in SS1 by a hot tempered girl. I didn't hit her back but I randomly think about it ever since grin. After that, I decided to always return every assault irrespective of the gender. But now I'm questioning that principle after this convoy. Am I wrong? What will you do in a similar situation?
Your ŵoman baited you and you fell for it. Or maybe not exactly falling, but you pet out your disposition to the situation.


Let's just say her level of emotional intelligence surpasses yours.
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by marlow1962(m): 6:18am On Jun 12, 2025
Juliearth:
Let's just say her level of emotional intelligence surpasses yours.
Are you for real juliearth? Omg this is wild, emotional intelligence lol.
That lady use her own hands to display the kind of woman she is. Why do she want to give out drugs she can't take? It doesn't make sense. I always tell my lady, say all manner of things to me, but never raise your hands on me. So I'm not expecting her to cry foul when I reciprocate the ill gesture towards me. Same goes in that chat, that female is trying to manipulate the young lad into getting abused and not retaliating or voiceing out, and you said her emotional intelligence is higher than he's. Wtf julie
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by Peakdesign23(f): 6:55am On Jun 12, 2025
See manipulation at its peak grin
Delilah is that you?

Bro if anyone hits you, they know exactly what they did.

If they cannot learn to control their temper cry they should walk away from the relationship. Even in marriage she go beat you and your kids. grin cheesy
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by Juliearth(f): 7:11am On Jun 12, 2025
marlow1962:
Are you for real juliearth? Omg this is wild, emotional intelligence lol.
That lady use her own hands to display the kind of woman she is. Why do she want to give out drugs she can't take? It doesn't make sense. I always tell my lady, say all manner of things to me, but never raise your hands on me. So I'm not expecting her to cry foul when I reciprocate the ill gesture towards me. Same goes in that chat, that female is trying to manipulate the young lad into getting abused and not retaliating or voiceing out, and you said her emotional intelligence is higher than he's. Wtf julie
Exactly! She baited him and he fell for it. Only an emotionally intelligent person can throw such baits. Asking that question doesn't mean she would play out the response she gave. She painted that picture to get your reaction.


Research more about emotional intelligence and you would understand that it goes hand-in-hand with emotional manipulation and that was the blow the op suffered.




Point of correction. Yes, she was trying to manipulate him not to being abused, but to know if he can return the gesture if it happens (not like she intends to tow that path)
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by Unseen(m): 7:19am On Jun 12, 2025
Bonjovi13:
You have probably lost her going by her reaction.
Never ever admit that you can hit a woman for whatever reason even if she hits you first.

Your position should be that upon provocation you would diffuse the situation or walk away. That shows that you have self control which is a trait any woman would prefer because they know that they can get out of line one day and they would need you to be the bigger man to diffuse the situation or walk away.

The way you said you would retaliate against a woman who hit you, made you seem like someone who would not hesitate to assault a woman physically if she ever gets out of line by hitting you. She will never feel safe with you. Hence her withdrawal.

I suggest you apologise and change your
position. Assure her that you now understand how your words may have come across.

Tell her that you will make sure that you will never make her mad to the extent that she will hit you and that God forbid if that happens, you will with love and maturity diffuse the situation or walk away.
Are you actually this weak or you're trolling?
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by plessis: 7:19am On Jun 12, 2025
The moment your woman hits you, she ceases to be your baby, instead she's now an opponent that must be defeated.
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by plessis:
If she cannot control herself from hitting you, she has no right to judge you for not controlling yourself from hitting back.
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by Twemi(m): 7:40am On Jun 12, 2025
I will rather use the law which says “An eye for an eye” simple
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by Nehyooh(m): 8:27am On Jun 12, 2025
My "ex" dated a man who use to beat the hell out of her. When we started, I do notice some violet and toxic statements from her, later it became physical such as bitting me during argument. I wasn't comfortable with the all stuffs, so I ask her; Why do you like bitting?
She said she just like it, meanwhile she always tell me whenever the dude she dated start beating her, she always retaliate by bitting and hitting him back.
So I thought, I've never been violet to this girl, so why been violet to me. Obviously those influences have affected her psychologically, she's full of emotional baggages.

This is one of the reasons I break-up with her, I love peace more than anything.
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by TotoSuckker: 9:32am On Jun 12, 2025
This is really serious o.

I think she is just testing the waters to see how you will react

How you will react will depend on if her towtow is sweet grin
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by Gbadugbakun(m): 9:32am On Jun 12, 2025
Na Wao so somebody cannot book space in Nairaland again? undecided
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by AirBere: 9:32am On Jun 12, 2025
planned conversation for online engagement.wink

If it's true, then this girl has a negative IQ.
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by Smartgeek(m):
This Your girlfriend is biased.

How else would you defend yourself if not to prevent or hit someone who hit you first, back.?
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by loadedvibes: 9:33am On Jun 12, 2025
You dey see red flag now.. you no go run o . A woman that feels she can hit you a man and shouldn't be hit back because she is a woman. She totally forgot she is a woman when she was initiating the hitting.

Better run from this lady.
Re: Messages Between My Girlfriend And I That Has Me Questioning My Long Held Belief by Kaybaba5(m): 9:33am On Jun 12, 2025
Wife material but I don't know what to say but wait ooh what do I kmow
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