₦airaland Forum

yetunsbay:
only constant thing is change no one is prophet. Who says she might not tow same path later

She wouldn't!. This is dark psychology at play.

DenreleDave:
U keep shouting emotional intelligence, maybe the lady in question sef is not emotionally intelligent and she was just asking the question ordinarily.
Maybe there was no bait, she just asked due to what she heard

If you read through the chat, you wouldn't say this. Are you privy to how people use dark psychology to their advantage? This is it at play.

tollyboy5:
Women should be more emotionally intelligent but I will pass this test easily logically.
There are many ways to deal with a woman but physical combat is out of option

A man should date a woman within the same level of EI as himself, else he would be greeted with doubts such as this.

MichaelUweh:
I will never hit a woman, but I will rather give her a silent that would make her go crazy 🤪

My girl friend who's a nurse slapped me one day, immediately, I held her hands, as she saw the anger in my eyes, she quickly said to me, Michael, "don't allow evil to enter into your heart ". And I was like wow" so you know what you just did could trigger the evil in me? And left her alone.

In summary, no matter what a woman do to you, never you attempt to hit,beat her or raisea hand on her.
It's call strength and not a weakness.

no matter what.........? Dey play, until she held your bikolo for ten minutes and comot it for you. Your eyes go clear. Don't you know saying no matter what is like given her blank check, what she will write the amount your generations won't be able to pay.

Atasko:
I didn't hit her back but I randomly think about it ever since .

After that, I decided to always return every assault irrespective of the gender. But now I'm questioning that principle after this convoy. Am I wrong? What will you do in a similar situation?

This is now in my TOP 5 posts of the year.

The chat was so real. Now irrespective of wheter your girl was right or wrong (yes i believe she was so so wrong) she writes well like a human being and that's something I can't say for the crop of females that we have been locked with by the cursed reason of location. 😂

Yes I write well too. 😂

If you hit me, I will definitely return the favor

Bonjovi13:
You have probably lost her going by her reaction.
Never ever admit that you can hit a woman for whatever reason even if she hits you first.

Your position should be that upon provocation you would diffuse the situation or walk away. That shows that you have self control which is a trait any woman would prefer because they know that they can get out of line one day and they would need you to be the bigger man to diffuse the situation or walk away.

The way you said you would retaliate against a woman who hit you, made you seem like someone who would not hesitate to assault a woman physically if she ever gets out of line by hitting you. She will never feel safe with you. Hence her withdrawal.

I suggest you apologise and change your
position. Assure her that you now understand how your words may have come across.

Tell her that you will make sure that you will never make her mad to the extent that she will hit you and that God forbid if that happens, you will with love and maturity diffuse the situation or walk away.

Rubbish..
Why pretend just to please...You always need to make your boundaries crystal clear
If she cannot stay within those boundaries, she is not worthy and should take a walk....Relationship is not by force

Between women and Nigerian pastors, I no come sabi who manipulate pass who.😒

Emotional blackmail aint working these days.
If really you have never and will never raise ur hand on a man, and yet his reply to ur question is that important such that u had to thank God u asked?
U hit a man, the innocence and weakness that comes with feminism is gone, u are now a man like him u take what you see in good faith

That girl right there is a master manipulator...

Juliearth:
I agree with you. She seems to wield more emotional intelligence than op. Emotionally intelligent people most times are manipulators.

Hi. I agree with you on the last part.

Juliearth:
Exactly! She baited him and he fell for it. Only an emotionally intelligent person can throw such baits. Asking that question doesn't mean she would play out the response she gave. She painted that picture to get your reaction.


Research more about emotional intelligence and you would understand that it goes hand-in-hand with emotional manipulation and that was the blow the op suffered.




Point of correction. Yes, she was trying to manipulate him not to being abused, but to know if he can return the gesture if it happens (not like she intends to tow that path)

When a man emotionally manipulates a woman, hope you'll say he's emotionally intelligent. Afoanu

Double0h7:
I think you should stand on your principle. She's trying to manipulate you into accepting violence from a woman under the guise that she is weaker and her hits won't hurt.

An abuser, male or female, start their violence small. It will be a slap here and there, pulling and tearing your clothes, and then one day it be an object to the back of the head, or a knife in your chest. Stop violence from the dot!

Spot on!
This comment deserves a trillion likes!

Double0h7:
I think you should stand on your principle. She's trying to manipulate you into accepting violence from a woman under the guise that she is weaker and her hits won't hurt.

An abuser, male or female, start their violence small. It will be a slap here and there, pulling and tearing your clothes, and then one day it be an object to the back of the head, or a knife in your chest. Stop violence from the dot!

I thought I was the only one that noticed that the girl is extremely manipulative.

Wetin the lady smoke?

Wetin be this one wet nairaland dey find 40 character upandan? So if I don't have much to say I should continue typing. E be like say Una want make people dey type rubbish abi. No p. Una go read Una go tire 😂

TheAdvocate:
Which law favours a woman? Please refer me to it.

When I say the law I meant the court check back on the recent court ruling on the man that killed an herdman the law only allows you to disarm and run away from dangerous person and not to kill them. so in the case of the boyfriend and girlfriend issue they are other way the victim(male) would have used to resolve this issue has a person that have a strength advantage here like restraining the woman from inflicting damage on him or running away from the dangerous woman but if it is a case of a woman being endangered by a man the court will see the woman lethal attack on the man has self-defense because pleading or running away from a man still put the woman in danger
So in summary if you want to retaliate on a woman make sure you have it on camera record when she first hit you and know how to fight don't go and be pressing someone daughter neck in the name of fighting because all she needs to bring you down is running around naked and rape allegations on you

CorrectionFLuid:
When a man emotionally manipulates a woman, hope you'll say he's emotionally intelligent. Afoanu

Do I come off to you as a biased or chauvinistic person? You can run a check on my digital footprint here.

This conversation is always funny.

The only type of men women want to hit are the cool guys, not the crazy dudes that can snap them into two.

Bonjovi13:
You have probably lost her going by her reaction.
Never ever admit that you can hit a woman for whatever reason even if she hits you first.

Your position should be that upon provocation you would diffuse the situation or walk away. That shows that you have self control which is a trait any woman would prefer because they know that they can get out of line one day and they would need you to be the bigger man to diffuse the situation or walk away.

The way you said you would retaliate against a woman who hit you, made you seem like someone who would not hesitate to assault a woman physically if she ever gets out of line by hitting you. She will never feel safe with you. Hence her withdrawal.

I suggest you apologise and change your
position. Assure her that you now understand how your words may have come across.

Tell her that you will make sure that you will never make her mad to the extent that she will hit you and that God forbid if that happens, you will with love and maturity diffuse the situation or walk away.

but it's always better to be honest than to lie.

For me, the best treatment for any lady(wife) who goes gaga is to elope for at least 2weeks incommunicado.

Juliearth:
Exactly! She baited him and he fell for it. Only an emotionally intelligent person can throw such baits. Asking that question doesn't mean she would play out the response she gave. She painted that picture to get your reaction.


Research more about emotional intelligence and you would understand that it goes hand-in-hand with emotional manipulation and that was the blow the op suffered.




Point of correction. Yes, she was trying to manipulate him not to being abused, but to know if he can return the gesture if it happens (not like she intends to tow that path)

what if she eventually goes that path? Mind you, the universe always has a way of bringing that we think into reality.

Pointless argument. She said a man shouldn’t raise his hand against a woman then she also said a man can physically defend himself against a woman. What else is raising your hand against her if not physical defence? Leave bird brained women, una no go hear.

RandomFellow:
In Diplomacy, we deflect questions. You answered well, but not well enough!; I'll score you 5/10! That's what an average guy on the street would do; I want to believe you're not an average guy; you're above average!

When she asked what you'd do if a woman slaps you, you should have shut down the conversation at that point! There are different ways to shut it down. Don't dignify her with an answer (but wetin you go do dey your mind).

For example, you could deflect by asking her who she values most in church or music. Ask her if she can ask them such a question. Or ask if she can slap them for any reasons. ANY REASON at all!!!

You could even feign annoyance, telling her to stop asking such childish questions. Tell her it's an insult for her to ask if you'd hit a woman. Why should you even ask if I'd hit a woman. How do you expect me to start constructing an answer to this insult babe? Haba naa... You're diminishing my brain cells by asking me these questions. We should be talking about how we'd build billion dollar empires, and you're here asking me shii... Please lets grow up.

Mind you, in the second scenario, you did not answer the question... But wetin you go do dey your mind.


Deflect the question next time such things are asked you! Na you be boss ooo... Any body wey wan know if you go slap them should come and slap, and you'll tell them the answer.

My little 2 year old slapped me, I slapped him back (tiny slap sha, but he was shocked)! Told him that's how life is. If your mate slaps you, slap him back, and don't come crying to me. Let their parents come complain, and I'll apologize on you and our family's behalf- I'll even pay compensation if need be. But I don't want to be complaining to others.


If my woman slap me (my wife would never even try it), I'll make sure she receives something worse. Not necessarily physical, but something she'll never forget in her life. I might separate from her because of that (even if I was the one at the wrong)! Yes... My offence (even if I got another woman pregnant) is dwarfed by your slap. Don't ever try it

I agree with you to a very large extent, except for the latter part you teach your kids to retaliate.

Retaliation doesn't make one strong, it only shows our unpredictable temperament. I will always teach my child to avoid trouble, it does no one any good.

There's always an authority to report to when you're bullied. Most times the consequences of retaliation might consume ones life. Avoiding trouble, especially throuvh physical combat is the easiest route to a peaceful life.

Mandate1:
what if she eventually goes that path? Mind you, the universe always has a way of bringing that we think into reality.

There's a 90 percent probability that she would not. The 10 percent pending is dependent on her temperament

Your girlfriend is manipulative but you're blindly in love. I can bet my only functioning kidney that that girl will lay hands on you some day as long as she knows she will get away with it.

marlow1962:
Are you for real juliearth? Omg this is wild, emotional intelligence lol.
That lady use her own hands to display the kind of woman she is. Why do she want to give out drugs she can't take? It doesn't make sense. I always tell my lady, say all manner of things to me, but never raise your hands on me. So I'm not expecting her to cry foul when I reciprocate the ill gesture towards me. Same goes in that chat, that female is trying to manipulate the young lad into getting abused and not retaliating or voiceing out, and you said her emotional intelligence is higher than he's. Wtf julie

To "say all manner of things to you" is also a sign of weakness from the man. If you have control or command some sort of respect from your partner, there should be a limit to what she says to you. Some lines should never be crossed, else, it turns assault as well with same magnitude as physical assault.

Atasko:
Hi. I had this chat with my girlfriend today and I'm here wondering if I have been having a messed up principle. I personally don't believe in violence. I will rather involve the authority than get physical. While growing up, I have always believed that hitting a woman irrespective of her actions is totally wrong until I was slapped in SS1 by a hot tempered girl. I didn't hit her back but I randomly think about it ever since . After that, I decided to always return every assault irrespective of the gender. But now I'm questioning that principle after this convoy. Am I wrong? What will you do in a similar situation?

Throw that karachika into the suburbs of Ogbomosho with immediate alacrity!!

Unseen:
Are you actually this weak or you're trolling?

Answer this question honestly. Say you are working at a job you love and you are very well paid. If you have a serious misunderstanding with a colleague( say female, although any sex can do), and that colleague loses her cool and hands you a very dirty and public slap. Would you retailate? I am waiting?

Atasko:
Hi. I had this chat with my girlfriend today and I'm here wondering if I have been having a messed up principle. I personally don't believe in violence. I will rather involve the authority than get physical. While growing up, I have always believed that hitting a woman irrespective of her actions is totally wrong until I was slapped in SS1 by a hot tempered girl. I didn't hit her back but I randomly think about it ever since . After that, I decided to always return every assault irrespective of the gender. But now I'm questioning that principle after this convoy. Am I wrong? What will you do in a similar situation?

All theses things won't matter in years to come...for now, enjoy the euphoria

Don’t ever let anyone blackmail you into subjection to fooli.shness. Your principles are right and very very healthy.
If any fo.ol be it a man or woman raises their filthy hands on you, you have to by all means return their kindness in very equal measure or extra.

How can she even think up a slapping you scenario? Like if she slaps you will you slap back?
You better delete that girl’s number, that is a big manipulator right there.

Foolis.h people everywhere. He is supposed to fold his hands and walk away after being abused by someone who couldn’t fold their hands and walk away when angered. Tueh!

Mandate1:
I agree with you to a very large extent, except for the latter part you teach your kids to retaliate.

Retaliation doesn't make one strong, it only shows our unpredictable temperament. I will always teach my child to avoid trouble, it does no one any good.

There's always an authority to report to when you're bullied. Most times the consequences of retaliation might consume ones life. Avoiding trouble, especially throuvh physical combat is the easiest route to a peaceful life.

There is a difference between being bullied and being abused physically.

Every parent owes their child that specific lifesaving skill of self defence. They must learn to be strong and stand up for themselves when no one is there to stand up for them.

Take note!
Retaliation is one thing that scare bullies far away cos they feed on fear and weakness.