₦airaland Forum

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Emmacolinho:
I have never felt the presence of my father in my life up to now. Bro abandoned me and my mother for 8yrs when I was a kid, I still out of compassion send him money sometimes but the one that broke me most was that I was in prison for over a month and bro didn't even call or check up on me even after I came out on bail he never reached out to me and I am his only son we've not spoken for almost a year now

I hope you start loving yourself, looking for love from others is a sign of weakness. Sending him money means you’re begging to be loved, that’s pitiful and pathetic, I hope you start loving yourself.

Lol that rice every Sunday. ahh God is wonderful , me then once it's Sunday I will go and hide spoon in my pocket till evening when rice go ready, I only eat chicken only on Christmas day. Early morning everyday me and my elder sister will hulk tomatoes and okro b4 going to school that morning everyday

inoki247:
Lol una no dey calm down you think is easy then..


That's why I look at people always saying Nigeria economy is always good back den....


Unless we wan deceive ourselves our kid this days are even getting more love than we there parent....
Almost every household now as a TV..

If you've TV in your area back then you guys are part of the richest in your community...


As a kid you can't cry you want something make slap no follow u nd install sense into u...

You only eat Rice on special occasions if una get small change you also eat Rice on Sunday after Service....


There's no time this country is smiling...

Emmacolinho:
I have never felt the presence of my father in my life up to now. Bro abandoned me and my mother for 8yrs when I was a kid, I still out of compassion send him money sometimes but the one that broke me most was that I was in prison for over a month and bro didn't even call or check up on me even after I came out on bail he never reached out to me and I am his only son we've not spoken for almost a year now

Something is not right bro. Many us out mothers make some mistakes by cheating or other things... Maybe our father find out that they are not the biological father.... I can't say sha but my brother, it's worst experience

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If u think urs is bad mine is even worse so let's not talk. Learn cos that's life. Man up

MrHandsome2013:
5) the worst thing that can ever happen to you as child is having both parents coming from a polygamous family , no single love.

6) imagine your mum from a polygamous family and your dad from a polygamous family coming together to get ma, worst nightmare parents combination .

Nawa o. Did you ask someone like Teni or Niniola this question

The Apata Wives: Bonded By Uncommon Love
https://www.nairaland.com/2109358/apata-wives-bonded-uncommon-love#30061404

The children that came from polygamous families that weren't the worst nightmare are on this thread

Emmacolinho:
I have never felt the presence of my father in my life up to now. Bro abandoned me and my mother for 8yrs when I was a kid, I still out of compassion send him money sometimes but the one that broke me most was that I was in prison for over a month and bro didn't even call or check up on me even after I came out on bail he never reached out to me and I am his only son we've not spoken for almost a year now

Why do you send money to one who doesn’t give a damn whether you are alive or dead? I’d cut off some people and not feel a pinch. It’s called loving from a distance. What you have with him is a transactional relationship and nothing else. You only matter because of the money you give him.

osayuwamwen:
Lol that rice every Sunday. ahh God is wonderful , me then once it's Sunday I will go and hide spoon in my pocket till evening when rice go ready, I only eat chicken only on Christmas day. Early morning everyday me and my elder sister will hulk tomatoes and okro b4 going to school that morning everyday

How much is a bag of rice or chicken then that we have to wait for Special occasions or Sunday before we can eat them...


They're not even upto 1k Naira per bag buh still we can't afford it but now that rice is even costly we are affording it...

So those times also economy is bad we are just deceiving ourselves if they tell me to go back to doz years I will never...

So our Parent really suffered way beyond what we are going through right jus to make us survive....


There's no time this country az ever been easy for parent...

Our parents really tried we might be wanting there emotions buh Nigeria wasn't smiling for dem to show us dere emotional side.....they just want us to see another day without going hungry no matter what...

our parents never loved us cause if they did they wouldn't have brought us to this cruel world of inequality

osayuwamwen:
They nor love you and still yet they feed and carter for you, even when you fall sick they nor leave you to die, till yr you become adult who paid for your school fees from kg to university, all this children when nor know watin be life when you start having children you will understand life better

It’s cater not carter. There’s more to life than just things. You could be a sad millionaire. Money is not everything.

Image123:
What to do with such information? Better don't fail yourself and your God. Nobody owes you anything in this life, the earlier you know that, the better for the whole world.
People just choose to keep their lives bitter and blame others and circumstances for how their life is instead of taking life and making the best of it. There are several people with happy childhood memories and loving parents that turned out bad, their parents are still lamenting about what went wrong.

Don't have children with this mentality that 'nobody owes you anything in life'. Every parent owes his child absolutely the best of life before adulthood. Children didn't beg their existence. As such deserve all the nurturing that ensures the stability of their mental health.

MrHandsome2013:
It is very simple to spot parents that never love their kids from day 1.
Like me I was never loved from day 1 by d so call parents .

1) no child fond memories

2) no single group pic with them as a kid and as an adult

3) They never care about you or how you make your money as long as you send them money

4) I was hospitalized for one good month , my dad one day never call or ask about my well bring

5) the worst thing that can ever happen to you as child is having both parents coming from a polygamous family , no single love.

6) imagine your mum from a polygamous family and your dad from a polygamous family coming together to get ma, worst nightmare parents combination .

Your experience is terrible, I can feel your pain.

But you can actually bring love to that family. But Don't join them in displaying that lack of love attitude. Maybe they where not shown much love from their own families or parents. But just be different, be the light of love in that family.

Thank you.

Benrosaria:
our parents never loved us cause if they did they wouldn't have brought us to this cruel world of inequality

You have the capability to work your way to the equal part of life.

Your parents have done their part.

God bless my parents.

Aahhh. Thank God my siblings and I were loved at Home.
Wow! God I thank you oooh for the gift of my parents.
They were not wealthy but we never lacked love.

God I bless you ooooh.

When both syy the food you are eating if they know it is garri wothout sugar just to bewitch/project something intangible into the food.

Ayomide11111:
My childhood experiences were tough and wicked with my parents. Despite my calmness and meekness my "dad" did says I'm a mistake. He did says he doubts his paternity over me ... I'm still inside the trauma currently in my 30s ... I fled from home after I came home from school (polytechnic program) and just to heard him vowed for himself that when I'm done with my polytechnic program he's gonna show me shéégé. ..... I looked up and down and I asked myself if I have been a wayward or disobedient child to this man in a life before this.... I didn't see love. I envy children who talk about their parents with a good and loving energy

So sorry to hear that. You probably trigger a certain unhealed part of him by reminding him of someone who hurt him or a part of himself he hates.

MrHandsome2013:
It is very simple to spot parents that never love their kids from day 1.
Like me I was never loved from day 1 by d so call parents .

1) no child fond memories

2) no single group pic with them as a kid and as an adult

3) They never care about you or how you make your money as long as you send them money

4) I was hospitalized for one good month , my dad one day never call or ask about my well bring

5) the worst thing that can ever happen to you as child is having both parents coming from a polygamous family , no single love.

6) imagine your mum from a polygamous family and your dad from a polygamous family coming together to get ma, worst nightmare parents combination .

They don't love you but they give you education,are you with your senses atall?

If we asked the pops now, him go talk say he paid for his schooling, gave him pocket money throughout, he fed and housed him as a child all while struggling on a salary of less than 50k per month.

If you asked the mother, she would say things were tough and she had to sell in the market to support the household.

If they asked you, how many times since you crossed age 16 have you brought income to the houshold, you go open mouth and say but I was a child na. If them asked you how many times have you checked up on your papa to know if he was sick or suffering from depression, you go talk say you have your own problems.

Your parents might not have shown you the modern day definition of love but they could have easily flushed you down the toilet or abandoned you at the orphange, you're even lucky your papa did not abandon you and your mama thinking his life would be so much better without responsibilities. All in all, move the f*ck on man, you're an adult now, learn from it and build your own family filled with love!

MrHandsome2013:
It is very simple to spot parents that never love their kids from day 1.
Like me I was never loved from day 1 by d so call parents .

1) no child fond memories

2) no single group pic with them as a kid and as an adult

3) They never care about you or how you make your money as long as you send them money

4) I was hospitalized for one good month , my dad one day never call or ask about my well bring

5) the worst thing that can ever happen to you as child is having both parents coming from a polygamous family , no single love.

6) imagine your mum from a polygamous family and your dad from a polygamous family coming together to get ma, worst nightmare parents combination .

Look forward n do better for your children.

Nobody owes you anything , even your parents

That number 5 that shock me ooo , most families in Nigeria are polygamous

Pickieox:
If you're a victim. Please try to see a therapist quickly. I can recommend one for you.

I need one too
Kindly recommend
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Goodlady:
Trauma eeeehhhh. Op trauma.
Parenting in Africa shouldn't be judged cos many wanted to do more but lacked fund

It has nothing to do with funds, there are selfish and stupid parents out there if you don't know. Most Nigerian parents don't know what parenting means they just give birth to kids because of selfish and societal reasons. Then they leave the kids to fend for themselves and send them money. This cultural phenomenon is the reason why some tribes are very poor and can't come out from poverty.

You will realise and apprecit3 the little your pare t did for you when you become a datehr and you can't give half of what they gave you

Emmacolinho:
I have never felt the presence of my father in my life up to now. Bro abandoned me and my mother for 8yrs when I was a kid, I still out of compassion send him money sometimes but the one that broke me most was that I was in prison for over a month and bro didn't even call or check up on me even after I came out on bail he never reached out to me and I am his only son we've not spoken for almost a year now

Seriously??!

Things dey sup o.

This reminded me of a guy who abandoned his jobless wife with 5 kids. Ran away to remarry another girl somewhere.

Kobojunkie:
In essence, what you are saying is that good parenting is all about funds?

Yea o,. Good fund is a critical and most important factor.

You should know this, madam.

Dem use you for ritual.? Dem donate your destiny for coven ? Mr man behave . Thanks to your parents , you are now overly conscious of being the bestest dad in the world to your kids by showering them all the love and affection you felt you didn't get . And you're not marrying two wives ever thanks to them !

How can you say your parent failed? Pls who brought this annoying topic here?

How dare you to think your paret failed?

Plenty damaged children evriwia.... 12 more stupid characters needed.

MrHandsome2013:
It is very simple to spot parents that never love their kids from day 1.
Like me I was never loved from day 1 by d so call parents .

1) no child fond memories

2) no single group pic with them as a kid and as an adult

3) They never care about you or how you make your money as long as you send them money

4) I was hospitalized for one good month , my dad one day never call or ask about my well bring

5) the worst thing that can ever happen to you as child is having both parents coming from a polygamous family , no single love.

6) imagine your mum from a polygamous family and your dad from a polygamous family coming together to get ma, worst nightmare parents combination .

Your message is deeply painful and powerfully honest. Thank you for sharing it. It takes strength to put this kind of truth into words.

What you're describing isn't just neglect. it's emotional abandonment, and no child should have to grow up feeling unwanted, unseen, or unloved.

Each point you made reflects years of hurt that no one should ever have had to carry alone.

But here's something important: Your ability to recognize and name this pain means you are breaking the cycle. You're not pretending. You're not gaslighting yourself. You're not numbing it or excusing it, and that’s powerful.

You're not alone. Many people carry this kind of hidden grief. But talking about it, like you're doing, is a step toward healing...

I feel so sad that an adult man can put up such an irritating write up about his parents. What a word we live in but I have one sure word for him. Just ensure your own kids don't grow up one day and say worst things about you. Do not repeat the mistakes of your parents because if you do it will become a generational course and the trend will continue until eternity. Instead condemning your parents for showing you little or no love. Have you taking your time to know why your so called parent behave such way to you. Have probe into how they were raised by their parents if they also got love of their parents because they are not spirit and cannot give what they don't have. If your parents got loved by their own parents they would have known what parent child relationship were and hence share same experience with you. I advice you end the ugly trend in your family by changing the narrative instead saying such nonsensical thing about your beautiful parent. May God bless them handsomely until you identify your role and play your part to earn your own children respect and honor.