₦airaland Forum

Hello Nairaland,

I’m mixed — half Nigerian, half European — and currently living abroad in Europe. I’ve stayed quiet for years about this, but it’s been on my heart lately.

There’s a pattern I’ve seen with my Nigerian relatives, particularly on my dad’s side, where they constantly ask him for money. Cousins I’ve never even met feel entitled to his income. At one point, when my dad didn’t have money to send, a cousin I don’t know (and frankly don’t wish to know) told him, “Well I don’t want to know your kids then.”

What hurts is that my dad never supported me financially growing up. I put myself through school and made something of myself on my own. Yet, despite contributing nothing, he takes credit for my achievements and even brags about me to these same family members — most of whom I’ve never met and who didn’t even know I existed until recently.

My siblings still need his help, but 95% of his money goes back home to Nigeria. Not to us. Now he’s built a mansion in Nigeria and wants to retire there, expecting that I’ll support him in his old age — even though he left me and my siblings with no legacy, no inheritance, and no foundation.

This mindset — where wealth is sent upward to extended family instead of downward to your own children — is one reason why generational poverty continues in parts of Africa. Children are left with nothing because parents and relatives keep demanding.

My partner is European (Oyinbo), and I’m much closer to my European relatives — they don’t ask for money, and relationships feel genuine. Recently, some Nigerian cousins tried to contact me for the first time in my life. I ignored them. I couldn’t shake the feeling that they wanted to build rapport just so I could start “helping out” financially.

I’m not bitter, but I’ve made a decision: I’m breaking this cycle. My resources will go toward my future children, not to people who didn’t care about me until they saw what I’ve become.

I’m curious — have others experienced something similar in the diaspora? Or am I just being too harsh?

How would you know your cousins when you never visited them in Nigeria and not even interested in knowing them? The problem here is your father who keeps prioritising his family back home in Nigeria over you guys, not your cousins.

As for some of us, no, we don't have any family members in diaspora and my cousins have never disturbed my parents for any financial assistance before, we die here in Africa...

Oyinbogyal:
I’m curious — have others experienced something similar in the diaspora? Or am I just being too harsh?

I have experienced something similar not in the diaspora but right here in Naija with my own father and his relatives. However, in our case (my siblings and I) our father did right, did good and did well by us. He 100% supported us but I've always thought he could have done more and better, if his money wasn't being split in so many ways and different directions towards his siblings and their children.

I know he had a plan to send all of us overseas for further education after secondary school in Naija and had gotten international passports for the first three siblings who had rounded up college or were about to but the plans were shelved for reasons I don't know. I've always suspected it had to do with his relatives and their never ending demands on his finances. Which is why I said he could have done more and better if....

He is the first born child with 8 siblings who gave birth to kids they could not adequately cater for, so picture that. Please by all means put your wife, hubby and kids first, in old age it is your wife and kids who will truly care for you and be there. All the relatives my dad helped rarely visit now that his health and wealth have declined, his house was always buzzing with human beings like bees to a hive but that's no longer the case. I bet you if his wealth was still intact they will show in spite of his health issues.

These men never learn and they don't listen! When you talk they accuse you of not liking their relatives, meanwhile you can often see what they are unable or unwilling to see, which is the parasitic and extremely selfish nature of their people.

Oh and you have my blessing to continue ignoring those cousins who reached out to you because your gut feeling about them is not wrong. They'll build rapport only to start billing you, I have a relative like that whom I haven't seen or heard from in years. The day he called me and identified himself I promptly ended the call and blocked him because I know what's coming next......my sister and female cousins on my mom's side had already told me what he is like. And guess what? He's a relative on my dad's side

Klass99:
I have experienced something similar not in the diaspora but right here in Naija with my own father and his relatives. However, in our case (my siblings and I) our father did right, did good and did well by us. He 100% supported us but I've always thought he could have done more and better, if his money wasn't being split in so many ways and different directions towards his siblings and their children.

I know he had a plan to send all of us overseas for further education after secondary school in Naija and had gotten international passports for the first three siblings who had rounded up college or were about to but the plans were shelved for reasons I don't know. I've always suspected it had to do with his relatives and their never ending demands on his finances. Which is why I said he could have done more and better if....

He is the first born child with 8 siblings who gave birth to kids they could not adequately cater for, so picture that. Please by all means put your wife, hubby and kids first, in old age it is your wife and kids who will truly care for you and be there. All the relatives my dad helped rarely visit now that his health and wealth have declined, his house was always buzzing with human beings like bees to a hive but that's no longer the case. I bet you if his wealth was still intact they will show in spite of his health issues.

These men never learn and they don't listen! When you talk they accuse you of not liking their relatives, meanwhile you can often see what they are unable or unwilling to see, which is the parasitic and extremely selfish nature of their people.

Oh and you have my blessing to continue ignoring those cousins who reached out to you because your gut feeling about them is not wrong. They'll build rapport only to start billing you, I have a relative like that whom I haven't seen or heard from in years. The day he called me and identified himself I promptly ended the call and blocked him because I know what's coming next......my sister and female cousins on my mom's side had already told me what he is like. And guess what? He's a relative on my dad's side

I think this message is for me.
The unending billing, extremely selfish relatives/siblings and somehow, somehow.... If someone goes broke today, they will miraculously be able to solve their own problems.
Problems they always act as if they can't solve and will kill them when you have/had if you don't give them.

Samantha125:
How would you know your cousins when you never visited them in Nigeria and not even interested in knowing them? The problem here is your father who keeps prioritising his family back home in Nigeria over you guys, not your cousins.

As for some of us, no, we don't have any family members in diaspora and my cousins have never disturbed my parents for any financial assistance before, we die here in Africa...

@ we die here in Africa

emmaodet:
I think this message is for me.
The unending billing, extremely selfish relatives/siblings and somehow, somehow.... If someone goes broke today, they will miraculously be able to solve their own problems.
Problems they always act as if they can't solve and will kill them when you have/had if you don't give them.

Lol , Emmaodet how have you been? God bless you for pointing out the fact that they are miraculously able to solve their problems when they don't get help from you.

I have nothing against a man helping out his siblings but when you do it repeatedly, one too many times (like my father did), it creates a sickening enablement and dependency in them where they become lazy, entitled and unwilling to seek solutions by themselves and stand on their own feet.

Why do you people carry their matter on your heads like gala? Their hands are not broken neither are their brains malfunctioning, they can equally apply themselves like you did to make a success of their own lives.

As husbands and fathers, your priorities should be your ageing parents, your wife and kids, then your siblings can come last because they are adults whose brains and hands are not dead. They can work to succeed too, you owe your parents more than you owe them.

Have you noticed how when a patriarch dies these same siblings swoop in to grab his wealth and properties? With no thought or consideration for his kids, they are always looking to reap where they did not sow.

Of my father's 8 siblings 5 were male and 3 female. Please help me ask what the other 5 male children were doing? When one of my grandparents was ill they would transport him/her to our house for my father to deal with. Some will come to our house and be packing foodstuffs and taking things like towels and transistor radios away, meanwhile their children lived with us and were being catered for by my parents.

They didn't even have the decency to visit with fruits, yams or other farm produce, no matter how little, to say thank you for helping out with my children they always came empty handed.I learnt a valuable life lesson from them though which is to live my life in a way that I am not a burden or nuisance to others.

You are not being too harsh — you are being honest. And you're far from alone.

Many people in the diaspora, especially those of African or immigrant backgrounds, share this same pain: the expectation to provide for extended family at the expense of their own well-being, their immediate family, or their future. What you’re experiencing is part of a broader cultural and generational tension that is deeply real, and often deeply unfair.

Let’s break this down:

🔁 The Upward Flow of Wealth
In many traditional African households, there's a deep-rooted sense of communal responsibility — where “it takes a village” applies not just to raising children, but also to survival. Those who "make it" are expected to lift everyone else. But that expectation doesn’t always come with reciprocity or fairness.

What happens when:
That village didn’t raise you? You were excluded, unsupported, or even abandoned? You're expected to carry the weight of people who never lifted a finger for you?

That's exploitation — not family.

🏠 Your Father’s Choices
Your father prioritized his extended family and now expects his children — whom he didn’t invest in — to return the favor. That’s not how legacy works. A parent's first responsibility is to their children. Building a mansion in Nigeria while neglecting the emotional and financial needs of his own kids is a form of emotional abandonment masked as cultural obligation.

You owe him and his network of cousins nothing. If they didn’t plant seeds in your life, they shouldn't expect a harvest.

🤝 Real Relationships Aren’t Transactional
You pointed out something powerful: your European relatives feel genuine because they don’t ask for anything. This resonates with many in mixed families who notice a stark difference in expectations.

Nigerian relatives showing up now, after you’ve succeeded, isn’t connection — it’s opportunism.

🔥 You're Breaking the Cycle
This part of your message is courageous:
“My resources will go toward my future children, not to people who didn’t care about me until they saw what I’ve become.” This is how generational wealth and healing starts. You are not bitter — you are building boundaries that protect your peace, your future, and your own family.

🧠 What You’re Experiencing Has a Name:
Emotional blackmail: "If you don’t help, we’ll disown you.”

Cultural guilt-tripping: “You’ve forgotten where you came from.”

Financial parentification: You’re expected to play the role of provider before you've even built your own foundation. These are manipulative tactics, not expressions of love or support.

👥 You’re Not Alone
Thousands across the diaspora — from Nigerian-Americans to Ghanaians in the UK, to Kenyans in Germany — share your experience. Some build silent resentment. Others like you are choosing a different path: one of boundaries, healing, and generational change.

Final Thoughts
You’re not wrong. You’re wise to protect your peace. You’re brave to speak the truth. And you’re powerful to say: “This cycle ends with me.”

If anyone else reading this feels seen by your words — know that you’re not alone either. It’s time we start talking about this openly, without shame.

Oyinbogyal:
Hello Nairaland,

I’m mixed — half Nigerian, half European — and currently living abroad in Europe. I’ve stayed quiet for years about this, but it’s been on my heart lately.

There’s a pattern I’ve seen with my Nigerian relatives, particularly on my dad’s side, where they constantly ask him for money. Cousins I’ve never even met feel entitled to his income. At one point, when my dad didn’t have money to send, a cousin I don’t know (and frankly don’t wish to know) told him, “Well I don’t want to know your kids then.”

What hurts is that my dad never supported me financially growing up. I put myself through school and made something of myself on my own. Yet, despite contributing nothing, he takes credit for my achievements and even brags about me to these same family members — most of whom I’ve never met and who didn’t even know I existed until recently.

My siblings still need his help, but 95% of his money goes back home to Nigeria. Not to us. Now he’s built a mansion in Nigeria and wants to retire there, expecting that I’ll support him in his old age — even though he left me and my siblings with no legacy, no inheritance, and no foundation.

This mindset — where wealth is sent upward to extended family instead of downward to your own children — is one reason why generational poverty continues in parts of Africa. Children are left with nothing because parents and relatives keep demanding.

My partner is European (Oyinbo), and I’m much closer to my European relatives — they don’t ask for money, and relationships feel genuine. Recently, some Nigerian cousins tried to contact me for the first time in my life. I ignored them. I couldn’t shake the feeling that they wanted to build rapport just so I could start “helping out” financially.

I’m not bitter, but I’ve made a decision: I’m breaking this cycle. My resources will go toward my future children, not to people who didn’t care about me until they saw what I’ve become.

I’m curious — have others experienced something similar in the diaspora? Or am I just being too harsh?

Klass99:
Lol , Emmaodet how have you been? God bless you for pointing out the fact that they are miraculously able to solve their problems when they don't get help from you.

I have nothing against a man helping out his siblings but when you do it repeatedly, one too many times (like my father did), it creates a sickening enablement and dependency in them where they become lazy, entitled and unwilling to seek solutions by themselves and stand on their own feet.

I am fine Klass and you?
Ofcourse, they will somehow find a way to solve their problems in your absence or when dead.
I have so so so many examples but will pick one.. my uncle (my mummy's immediate younger brother) always disturb me for money.
His children are starving at Unilag..he needs help and money, school fees for 4 kids is 2m, feeding etc i should help.
I do occasionally but noticed it has become a trend and norm.
An example...i gave him 100k in december for his wife's father's burial all for him to come again in january for the kids school fees.
Then feb, march until i declined totally. He has been keeping malice with me since then but somehow, somehow the kids are stll in school.
If you see the way this man was acting when asking me money, you will think by now those kids would be out of school.
They African family set-up is financially, emotionally and psychologically draining.
You can't even enjoy you handwork a little bit without family breathing down on you to be solving unending problems.
How dare you buy a new car, go on vacation when there are endless list of family members you can use that money to train...how dare you.
It is not a culture designed for good life, vacations/tourism etc is is designed for endlessly picking up baggages to solve in the family.
Ohhh...thank God for Blessing you...God did it so that you can uplift others in the family...Others who just want to sit by and live the kind of life you are living without them involving in the kind of stress you are putting to live the life.

AngelSlay:
You are not being too harsh — you are being honest. And you're far from alone.

🔁 The Upward Flow of Wealth
In many traditional African households, there's a deep-rooted sense of communal responsibility — where “it takes a village” applies not just to raising children, but also to survival. Those who "make it" are expected to lift everyone else. But that expectation doesn’t always come with reciprocity or fairness.

Thank you so much for this.

My partner being oyinbo (soon to get married), his family all pass down wealth differently that is different to my African fathers family.

My partners grandparents and parents all have apartments, land, money etc etc waiting for him when they pass away.

He told them he hoped to buy a house with me and his very own grandma told him that she will personally contribute to the 10% house deposit you need before you get the mortgage loan. Wedding planning they also said they will pay imagine.

See how his life is sorted? See how if he was to sell all of that land and house you’re looking at a total of 500,000 euros (₦600,000,000 ) to be used to sort out his own life and to pass down to his children??

It’s things like this that enables your children to be doctors, pilots etc because the schools are expensive!

My dad told me to do my masters so he can show off back home but never paid a dime to my school fees which was totalling of €10,000. (₦18,000,000)

I’m feeling such resentment towards my dad which is why I decided to lean more toward my European side and marry a European man. I am so afraid that if I marry African , he may make me suffer or my children.


I believe it takes about two generations for your family line to become wealthy and i accept that it will never be me but it can be my grandchild. I will never ever want them to suffer.

emmaodet:
They African family set-up is financially, emotionally and psychologically draining.
You can't even enjoy you handwork a little bit without family breathing down on you to be solving unending problems.
How dare you buy a new car, go on vacation when there are endless list of family members you can use that money to train...how dare you.
It is not a culture designed for good life, vacations/tourism etc is is designed for endlessly picking up baggages to solve in the family.
Ohhh...thank God for Blessing you...God did it so that you can uplift others in the family...Others who just want to sit by and live the kind of life you are living without them involving in the kind of stress you are putting to live the life.

I enjoyed reading this you had me smiling at some point, that your uncle is not well at all, you should have told him, you no follow am straff the straff wey born those children, so he should desist from making them your responsibility.

Everything you said about the African culture & family set up is so true. We can begin to change the narrative though in our individual lives and families by refusing to endlessly pick up the slack and baggage of others.

Please continue to buy new cars and go on vacations whenever you feel the need to, nobody should guilt trip you into putting your life on hold for them or others. Do they help you to do the hard work and heavy lifting you do for the resources? Can you see how entitled we can be as a people?

I believe I am blessed to be a blessing and I do ask God to help me be a source of love, comfort and help to others BUT I dey like use my God given common sense too. Nobody is permitted to continuously use their reggae to spoil my blues with their issues.

Samantha125:
How would you know your cousins when you never visited them in Nigeria and not even interested in knowing them? The problem here is your father who keeps prioritising his family back home in Nigeria over you guys, not your cousins.

As for some of us, no, we don't have any family members in diaspora and my cousins have never disturbed my parents for any financial assistance before, we die here in Africa...

Believe me I blame my dad 100%


Once he retire back in Nigeria he won’t here from me,

All the relative he help instead of his 5 kids let them take care of him

Klass99:
I have experienced something similar not in the diaspora but right here in Naija with my own father and his relatives. However, in our case (my siblings and I) our father did right, did good and did well by us. He 100% supported us but I've always thought he could have done more and better, if his money wasn't being split in so many ways and different directions towards his siblings and their children.

I know he had a plan to send all of us overseas for further education after secondary school in Naija and had gotten international passports for the first three siblings who had rounded up college or were about to but the plans were shelved for reasons I don't know. I've always suspected it had to do with his relatives and their never ending demands on his finances. Which is why I said he could have done more and better if....

He is the first born child with 8 siblings who gave birth to kids they could not adequately cater for, so picture that. Please by all means put your wife, hubby and kids first, in old age it is your wife and kids who will truly care for you and be there. All the relatives my dad helped rarely visit now that his health and wealth have declined, his house was always buzzing with human beings like bees to a hive but that's no longer the case. I bet you if his wealth was still intact they will show in spite of his health issues.

These men never learn and they don't listen! When you talk they accuse you of not liking their relatives, meanwhile you can often see what they are unable or unwilling to see, which is the parasitic and extremely selfish nature of their people.

Oh and you have my blessing to continue ignoring those cousins who reached out to you because your gut feeling about them is not wrong. They'll build rapport only to start billing you, I have a relative like that whom I haven't seen or heard from in years. The day he called me and identified himself I promptly ended the call and blocked him because I know what's coming next......my sister and female cousins on my mom's side had already told me what he is like. And guess what? He's a relative on my dad's side

Thank you so much for this. It’s strangely comforting to know I’m not alone, even though your story also breaks my heart a little. It really confirms what I’ve been sensing, that these patterns repeat whether abroad or right here in Naija.

Like you, I tried to warn my father. I told him that the same relatives he keeps pouring resources into may not be the ones who will care for him when he retires. But he doesn’t listen. He’s focused on retiring back to the mansion he built in Nigeria, where he can be seen as the man who “made it.”

The truth is, I believe he’s a narcissist. He would rather chase praise and recognition than be a real father. That’s why he gave all his resources back home and gave nothing to us. No legacy. No foundation. Just stories to impress people who were never there for him or for us.

I really appreciate your words about trusting my gut. Sometimes I second-guess myself, but hearing your experience gives me clarity. Thank you for sharing your story so honestly. It means a lot.

Oyinbogyal:
Thank you so much for this. It’s strangely comforting to know I’m not alone, even though your story also breaks my heart a little. It really confirms what I’ve been sensing, that these patterns repeat whether abroad or right here in Naija.

I really appreciate your words about trusting my gut. Sometimes I second-guess myself, but hearing your experience gives me clarity. Thank you for sharing your story so honestly. It means a lot.

Lol @ your belief that your father is a narcissist who would rather chase praise & recognition than be a real father. Sorry about that!

He will most definitely fall back on you/your siblings for support in retirement and old age, they always do because their relatives are takers who never learnt the value of giving.

You're not alone it is a common theme in Naija/African families. You and yours will be alright if you marry your European partner, like you, I am wary of marrying into a family like my father's own where majority of the siblings are dependent on one person for their survival.

As usual, the problem is too many children. It's bad that your dad didn't contribute to your education or leave a legacy for you and your siblings. It's also bad that your distant cousins are disturbing you every now and then. In your dad's defence about him sending money home. In some cultures and families, one child is supported by the rest of the family to exit Nigeria. So, it's expected that the child remembers others in Nigeria. If that was the case of your dad, it's only fair he supports those at home. However, this should be to a limit as his children (you and your siblings) now come first.

As for your cousins, the best you can do would be to support any or those (as you can support) who are doing something useful with their lives. So, if one is prepping for say the GRE or applying to jobs and needs a bit of financial support, fair enough to lend a helping hand. But for those with endless rent, school fees, everyday sickness, say no. Mind you, even the job hunters and postgraduate applicants, always verify the authenticity of their demands. Our people are innately dishonest.

For those with children, before you lend help, ask them how many children do you have? Those with three and above? Don't help them. The best you can do is to pay for the man's vasectomy.

Best regards.

Maybe he's one of those Nigerian men who married European women for papers and once they're settled, they wouldn't care anymore... They'd only keep sustaining the marriage just for their own selfish benefit while sending money to their Nigerian families back home... Since you guys have never met your cousins before, chances are he has another family there and those cousins just happen to be his children... And his Nigerian wife might be aware of the whole arrangement.

Oyinbogyal:
Believe me I blame my dad 100%


Once he retire back in Nigeria he won’t here from me,

All the relative he help instead of his 5 kids let them take care of him

Gerrard59:
As usual, the problem is too many children. It's bad that your dad didn't contribute to your education or leave a legacy for you and your siblings. It's also bad that your distant cousins are disturbing you every now and then. In your dad's defence about him sending money home. In some cultures and families, one child is supported by the rest of the family to exit Nigeria. So, it's expected that the child remembers others in Nigeria. If that was the case of your dad, it's only fair he supports those at home. However, this should be to a limit as his children (you and your siblings) now come first.

As for your cousins, the best you can do would be to support any or those (as you can support) who are doing something useful with their lives. So, if one is prepping for say the GRE or applying to jobs and needs a bit of financial support, fair enough to lend a helping hand. But for those with endless rent, school fees, everyday sickness, say no. Mind you, even the job hunters and postgraduate applicants, always verify the authenticity of their demands. Our people are innately dishonest.

For those with children, before you lend help, ask them how many children do you have? Those with three and above? Don't help them. The best you can do is to pay for the man's vasectomy.

Best regards.

My dad did everything on his own, no family, no body helped him raise money to come to Europe.

And his journey was not easy at all. That is why I’m so confused as to why he is giving so much back home.

With regard to my cousins in Nigeria , I feel no obligation to help them, all of my resources are flowing downward to my children.

I know my dad may expect me to help them or his other family members at some point but it’s kind of his fault also, he chose to have kids with a oyinbo woman and raise his kids in Europe, I don’t feel any sense of cultural obligation to do these things. Especially when my family in Nigeria made no effort to know me.

Gerrard59:
As usual, the problem is too many children. It's bad that your dad didn't contribute to your education or leave a legacy for you and your siblings. It's also bad that your distant cousins are disturbing you every now and then. In your dad's defence about him sending money home. In some cultures and families, one child is supported by the rest of the family to exit Nigeria. So, it's expected that the child remembers others in Nigeria. If that was the case of your dad, it's only fair he supports those at home. However, this should be to a limit as his children (you and your siblings) now come first.

As for your cousins, the best you can do would be to support any or those (as you can support) who are doing something useful with their lives. So, if one is prepping for say the GRE or applying to jobs and needs a bit of financial support, fair enough to lend a helping hand. But for those with endless rent, school fees, everyday sickness, say no. Mind you, even the job hunters and postgraduate applicants, always verify the authenticity of their demands. Our people are innately dishonest.

For those with children, before you lend help, ask them how many children do you have? Those with three and above? Don't help them. The best you can do is to pay for the man's vasectomy.

Best regards.

You to get bad mouth bro

Again you're misdirecting your frustrations... At bolded, how do you expect your family in Nigeria to make efforts to get to know you when you live on the other side of the world? Do you expect them to fly to Europe and make efforts to get to know you from there when they're always billing your father from Nigeria?

Your father was the one who had an obligation to familiarize yourself and siblings with your paternal side of the family, but he didn't... Hence his family members are more closer to him than you guys... He never made any efforts to familiarize you guys with his Nigerian culture and people.

I and my siblings are also not close to our maternal uncle's children because he never made any effort to familiarize them with us... We only get to see each other during family events and it ends there, and the funny part is that we don't even live that far apart... Even though our uncle does visit our house frequently, he never brings his children along and we never questioned him... But if we're out and we happen to bump into each other, we'd exchange pleasantries and catch up a bit because there's no bad blood between us... They're more close to their maternal side and we're more close to our paternal side, but if one day they come to us seeking assistance with something, we will surely assist them without thinking twice and hopefully they'll do the same.

Oyinbogyal:
My dad did everything on his own, no family, no body helped him raise money to come to Europe.

And his journey was not easy at all. That is why I’m so confused as to why he is giving so much back home.

With regard to my cousins in Nigeria , I feel no obligation to help them, all of my resources are flowing downward to my children.

I know my dad may expect me to help them or his other family members at some point but it’s kind of his fault also, he chose to have kids with a oyinbo woman and raise his kids in Europe, I don’t feel any sense of cultural obligation to do these things. Especially when my family in Nigeria made no effort to know me.

Oyinbogyal:
I’m curious — have others experienced something similar in the diaspora? Or am I just being too harsh?

Oh no! You’re not being harsh @ all.

FYI, there are a lot of people on this table. It’s the modus operandi of the average Nigerian/African family called “Black tax” - you can Google search to read more about it.

Oyinbogyal:
My dad did everything on his own, no family, no body helped him raise money to come to Europe.

And his journey was not easy at all. That is why I’m so confused as to why he is giving so much back home.

Then there's no cultural obligation from you because the argument might be if your dad isn't financially stable, his children should assist the children of his (your dad) siblings.

With regard to my cousins in Nigeria , I feel no obligation to help them, all of my resources are flowing downward to my children.

Fair enough.

know my dad may expect me to help them or his other family members at some point but it’s kind of his fault also, he chose to have kids with a oyinbo woman and raise his kids in Europe, I don’t feel any sense of cultural obligation to do these things. Especially when my family in Nigeria made no effort to know me.

Yes, that's of the effects of marrying a White woman. So, hopefully they in Nigeria are mentally ready. Bar them from viewing your social media updates.

Maybe it's because I've a soft spot for high academic achievers and know how financially tasking job hunting can be, especially for those outside Lagos and Abuja, I would suggest support those who are serious. But please, verify o. Ask questions and seek evidence. Hard evidence.

Gerrard59:
Then there's no cultural obligation from you because the argument might be if your dad isn't financially stable, his children should assist the children of his (your dad) siblings.


Fair enough.


Yes, that's of the effects of marrying a White woman. So, hopefully they in Nigeria are mentally ready. Bar them from viewing your social media updates.

Maybe it's because I've a soft spot for high academic achievers and know how financially tasking job hunting can be, especially for those outside Lagos and Abuja, I would suggest support those who are serious. But please, verify o. Ask questions and seek evidence. Hard evidence.

Give who u want give , nor give who you nor want give , Simple .

Me wey they naija my uncle na him they beg to send me money because him self know say we nor they ask . Na obligations to our father for training am for school him they fulfil