₦airaland Forum

You will only realize that all women are a bag of trouble walking around pretending to be nice after you get married as a man


Marriage brings out the demon in most Nigerian women, especially when they marry a rich or financially buoyant man.


The ones that have numerous helps still shout, they direct the shouts and bullying to their house helps, while the ones that don't have house helps or domestic staffs direct their own shouts, frustration towards their kids.


Married Nigerian women and wahala is like 5 and 6. You can hardly find a married Nigerian woman whose husband is doing well financially treat her house helps or domestic workers very well. They maltreat them in one way or the other. Some use verbal abuse, some use physical abuse.


Honestly, as a married man just ignore them, make some rules regarding how to treat every member of your household, be it house help, kids, relatives, visitors and enforce that rule for all, and overlook the rest cos most Naija married women married to financially buoyant men are something else

If you check married Nigerian women that treat their house helps or visitors with respect and dignity, their husbands are not rich or they are struggling financially. But the ones married to financially rich or buoyant husbands are usually bullies to their house helps, domestic staffs and visitors that are not their own siblings

Iamsane:
Anxiety and Anger borne out of laziness, being unorganized and lack of will to do work.

See as them they glamourize the situation.

The woman is no different from a man who yells at customers and colleagues at work.

No mind them, People should learn to keep their pains and bitterness to themselves. Toxicity is no fuel, do some yoga, breathe, jog, punch a bag...

It’s hard to give advice when we don’t know why she is shouting, how many kids they have and how old they are.

Kobojunkie:
The solution is very simple! You take over the chore of getting your kids ready for school each morning.

Practice what you preach, Mr woman wrapper

Lead by example

Iamsane:
Anxiety and Anger borne out of laziness, being unorganized and lack of will to do work.

See as them they glamourize the situation.

The woman is no different from a man who yells at customers and colleagues at work.

Sensible submission unlike that guy that posted rubbish that the husband should take over the only job she does, this is a woman who doesn't work at all, he provides everything yet you want him to take over that homework too

Mariangeles:
Start by helping her get the kids ready for school.
Your wife is not crazy, she's overwhelmed.

Is that so hard to understand?

Even though, the one wey wan shout go still shout

Mariangeles:
Start by helping her get the kids ready for school.
Your wife is not crazy, she's overwhelmed.

Is that so hard to understand?

So because she is overwhelmed, she should now traumatize the kids?

tell your kids to behave well

Felaincarnated:
Clap for ursef. Very easy for ur mouth as a single person

i don comot from uni in 96/97. Den never born u then.

Whenever i am around my children dont allow their mother to prepare them for school or bath them. They will insist i bath or prepare them for school. I do it with Joy. Even if you wake up on time as a mother to bath them, there is one child that will make her shout

Oga assist your wife, it's not rocket science.

Maybe she's been overwhelmed, a little support would encourage her and the shouting would stop.....Nor be prìçck dem take dey cook food.

jaszplus12:
Stop defending this. 90% of mothers unconsciously bully their children until the children are old enough to begin to resist it in many ways and I tell you, it's never pleasant at the end...

You said it all. Most of the things we call training here is low-key abuse. Screaming, body shaming etc. such child won't even function well in the society. I had a friend who suffered so much abuse that will always kneel down even while talking to her mother on phone. Y'all call that training.

descarado:


Oh my


You know we are on summer break. Man had study plan for the summer. Study till 11 am.
Didn't know how they arrived at that.
Yesterday, I took them out. When they came back, they would have studied but they didn't. He normally go through their homework before going to work. Na so the guy shouting up and down early morning woke me up. They were at the kitche table and he was fuming. You need to see this guy. The kids were just looking at him. I entered there and started laughing. That could have been me
(I don't shout any more. School work and run that drives me crazy, I don't dash am. Used to prepare lunch. He didn't even try once. Money to buy lunch )
Anything homework, count me off. If your father cannot help, go to your teacher. Period. Or,consult the internet.
Jokingly,told my eldest if he get distinctions in all his subjects in gcse, I will buy him a car. Guy took it serious
I may get it for him as a reward for job well done.
Till then. Na my new method of teaching be that o.
I can't come and kpai myself.

Lol @ that could have been me.
If it weren't you, advice for full everywhere as they are typing it how here. So it is good to allow them implement that advice themselves.

If he is due for it, please fulfill your promise.
Let your word be your bond. 😂😂😂

Trymeee:
You said it all. Most of the things we call training here is low-key abuse. Screaming, body shaming etc. such child won't even function well in the society. I had a friend who suffered so much abuse that will always kneel down even while talking to her mother on phone. Y'all call that training.

I'm very glad you understand my point. Low-key abuse is what it is!
I'm or let's say I was a victim now all grown yet subtly I know what I went through just trying to get over this. When I see women talking down their children I imagine the future of the children... thanks again for the point. Cheers

rickyrex:
Whenever i am around my children dont allow their mother to prepare them for school or bath them. They will insist i bath or prepare them for school. I do it with Joy. Even if you wake up on time as a mother to bath them, there is one child that will make her shout

Hehehehe.... you just reminded me about my kids when they were still toddlers, once I'm back home from my business trips, they abandoned their Mom I I became full carer! I made it a play work and happiness for them...the bond still dey strong...now they're all in the university!!

It's a sign of being overwhelmed with the task, especially if she has to catch up with time. I sincerely hope you are not leaving the whole task to her alone. If you do, then that's bad If not, then these could help.

What to do:
> First, start your preparations the night before you both sleep. Get the uniforms, shoes, school bags ready the previous night.

> Wake up earlier than you normally do, depending on your location.

> Help her out with whatever you can, and make sure the kids are involved in the preparations, except they are "too small" to do so.

Doing the above mentioned suggestion will help relieve her of the anxiety, and the shoutings will reduce.

If u came out 97 den u are very small boy

MaziObinnaokija:
i don comot from uni in 96/97. Den never born u then.

Chilipepper:
Can a woman get her kids ready for school without shouting? Please recommend ways to do it for me because my wife shouts too much.

They should start preparation early like the night before going to bed.

Then wake them early the following morning. ...that way, the shouting go reduce

dapadawee:
Your uncle schedule might allow that but someone else scheduled is different.

I didn't say all men can do it, but any man can do it, i also added the caveat that it won't be easy.

Mariangeles:
Start by helping her get the kids ready for school.
Your wife is not crazy, she's overwhelmed.

Is that so hard to understand?

the only sensible comment so far.

Here in diaspora, I am obliged to help get my kids ready for school everyday. Trust me, it is not funny. I finally understood why my wife was always screaming.

njokuuche77:
It’s definitely possible, but it takes a lot of intentional planning, patience and calmness.
My wife tends to shout too in the mornings, and I notice it affects everyone. I started to involve myself by prepping uniforms and school bags the night before, setting alarms earlier, and using calm music or helping out in the kitchen.
This helped alot.

Children respond better when things are not rushed. It's not easy, but with some teamwork and consistency, it can be done."

I agree with this. However it is not always possible to do things without rushing. My second son will wake up early but will play around and do every other nonsense rather than preparing for school.

My daughter will have to be begged, screamed at, cajoled and bribed to get off the bed and get onto the bathroom. And all the while I am trying to coordinate them to bathe and get ready, I am also juggling the preparation of breakfast for them and packing lunch for them. And I need to bath and get to work too. E no funny. And I am a man ooo

jaszplus12:
I'm very glad you understand my point. Low-key abuse is what it is!
I'm or let's say I was a victim now all grown yet subtly I know what I went through just trying to get over this. When I see women talking down their children I imagine the future of the children... thanks again for the point. Cheers

95 percent Nigerians are victims of abuse, they just won't admit it.

Mariangeles:
Start by helping her get the kids ready for school.
Your wife is not crazy, she's overwhelmed.

Is that so hard to understand?

Speaking rudely to a stranger. Do you guys even have manner at all? Always gender wars

maasoap:
Speaking rudely to a stranger. Do you guys even have manner at all? Always gender wars

How is that rude? Please! Please!!✋🙄

I'm so over you guys reading unfounded meaning into things.
One cannot express their views in peace again.

MaziObinnaokija:
. Wake the kids up at 6/ get them bed alarm ⏰️( this type). Bath them,wear them their skool uniform/train them how to do it themselves. Cook their breakfast ready(pack their takeaway in their respective school flask and eat some b4 dey leave out

My husband is the one that shouts. Very annoying.

Trymeee:
95 percent Nigerians are victims of abuse, they just won't admit it.

Again you're absolutely right!

franchasng:
You will only realize that all women are a bag of trouble walking around pretending to be nice after you get married as a man


Marriage brings out the demon in most Nigerian women, especially when they marry a rich or financially buoyant man.


The ones that have numerous helps still shout, they direct the shouts and bullying to their house helps, while the ones that don't have house helps or domestic staffs direct their own shouts, frustration towards their kids.


Married Nigerian women and wahala is like 5 and 6. You can hardly find a married Nigerian woman whose husband is doing well financially treat her house helps or domestic workers very well. They maltreat them in one way or the other. Some use verbal abuse, some use physical abuse.


Honestly, as a married man just ignore them, make some rules regarding how to treat every member of your household, be it house help, kids, relatives, visitors and enforce that rule for all, and overlook the rest cos most Naija married women married to financially buoyant men are something else

If you check married Nigerian women that treat their house helps or visitors with respect and dignity, their husbands are not rich or they are struggling financially. But the ones married to financially rich or buoyant husbands are usually bullies to their house helps, domestic staffs and visitors that are not their own siblings

Are you sure this isn't peculiar to just Igbo women? Since your experiences would be limited to the Igbo ethnic group?