₦airaland Forum

Someone in my area has eight... the first born is around 15 or so. Lucky they live in a flat he inherited from the father, but then, I wonder how the feeding, school fees, etc works for them.

I pray the Lord see them through

IyaTola:
Not everyone with many kids planned it — unexpected pregnancies, lack of access to birth control, or cultural pressures play a role. Struggling parents still deserve empathy, not judgment. Having more than two kids doesn’t automatically mean someone is irresponsible. Life circumstances change, and people shouldn't be mocked for tough seasons. Instead of shaming, focus on education, support, and better access to family planning to create real solutions.

People have 3/4 kids by mistake. Failed family planning mostly. But no one has PLENTY kids by mistake. I am not shaming anyone, so don't quote me with your Chatgpt response again.
Thank you.

Puss360:
Lols.... It takes a very strong couple to be determined to have just 2 kids o...
They need to look and focus on the future of the unborn child o...
Government isn't helping matters...
Everybody just dey advise everybody to keep borning(😂 pardon my grammar)..
Born two, dem go say e too small..
Born two boys, society will taunt the wife "boy na the papa get am ooo, try born girl for urself...."
Born two girls, society will taunt the man " as U dey so, you Neva born pikin o, na woman gets girl pikin o"..

All these leads to excessive offsprings...
Then we all gather and complain about the government of neglecting to Provide a better life...
It is well o

100% True

pocohantas:
Why do they have 5 kids?
In 2025, I don't take your complaints serious if you have more than 2 kids less than 10yrs old.

Nnamdipapa:
You be smart lady and your husband must be a lucky man. In 2025, I advice people to have only one child got the sake of their mental health.

I have 4 and three are teenagers but If I have a do over, it will be only one child.

Before you cum, check your incum

pocohantas:
Children are luxury. They require a lot of intentionality and resources. If you have more than 2, I take it that you are rich and I will come to you for loans. 😂😂😂

emmaodet:


Before you cum, check your incum

Nice slogan but not necessarily income for me but the time and convenience.

pocohantas:
That is why I said they require intentionality and resources. This covers emotional, physical, spiritual, educational and financial needs. I don't know how Nigerians handle the first 4 needs, but I am tired of people with more kids than me asking me for money because they think I have less(er) responsibilities.😩

Don't mind them. Useless people.
I have so many around me.
I have muted them from constantly seeing my whatsapp status.
They are always begging with so many sob stories.
They see you go on a staycation or vacation and they get annoyed for not picking their slacks.
There is this mentality of "are you blind to see are the problems on ground in the family to pick one rather than going on vacation"
Can't you use the money to pick or lift other family members? We rise by lifting other people ganags

descarado:
In and outside nigeria. The world has moved pass breeding like a rabbit.

Gbam !!!

The truth is, this life is so sweet and enjoyable provided you are careful, strategic, good plans with discipline.
There are so many things to do and keep doing to make your short life on earth fulfilled - regular weekend outings, vacations, gym, swimming, movies at cinemas etc and you won't miss out on each phase of your life's needed experiences (Secondary school phase /university phase and life after university phase - the dancing/miming/break dance phase of secondary school, the organic dating phase of Uni and easy and stable after university life of settling down and raising your happy family).
If you are poor or from a poor home, you will just be like a spectator who comes to stadium to watch others do their thing on earth.
You will look back into your past and their is nothing meaningful to talk about or happy about. Na so so suffering and suffering. Very annoying and emotionally draining.
You will constantly be at the mercy of Nature - constantly begging and struggling to keep a meaningful relationship without regularly absorbing bullshits, mostly indoor and anti-social etc.

jesmond3945:
my dear the world has passed richness of siblings bond. The world is fast paced and interconnected now. You have to be emotionally and spiritually invested at the same time working hard to give them a better life or else they wont compete with orhers in the future.

IyaTola:
Strategy helps — no doubt. But in Nigeria today, even the strategic face serious roadblocks. Many are grinding in silence, and massive wins are rare and often exaggerated. So while being smart is key, let’s not ignore the power of grace, opportunity, and resilience too.

I disagree with u.

When I say strategy,I meant using what u have acquired to make more wealth.

Like in my own case. I have never used my salary to pay for my children fees,feeding,clothings,medicals,travelling and renting for ten year of my marital life.

Especially now,that the economy has gone terribly bad.

One has to choose his leverage carefully and thoughtfully.

Thank u for being a parent...it is never easy as above has always been my strategy.

I truly respect your perspective and the strategy you’ve followed—it's clear you’ve built a system that works for your family, and that takes both wisdom and foresight.

However, I think it's important to note that while using acquired assets and streams of income outside of salary is smart (and in fact, essential in today's economy), strategy is not just about financial leverage. True strategy also involves managing your energy, time, relationships, and emotional bandwidth—especially in parenting.

You’ve done well not relying on your salary, and that’s commendable. But let’s not overlook that even with money handled, many parents—especially those with multiple children—still find themselves overwhelmed, not because of finances, but because of emotional, physical, and mental demands.

That’s where some people choose a different kind of strategy: limiting the number of children or obligations, not from a place of lack, but as a conscious choice to maximize peace, presence, and personal fulfillment.

So yes, financial strategy is powerful—but it’s just one piece of the bigger puzzle. And for some, the most strategic move isn't just how to make more money, but how to design a life they don’t need to constantly escape or recover from.

Nice2023:
I disagree with u.

When I say strategy,I meant using what u have acquired to make more wealth.

Like in my own case. I have never used my salary to pay for my children fees,feeding,clothings,medicals,travelling and renting for ten year of my marital life.

Especially now,that the economy has gone terribly bad.

One has to choose his leverage carefully and thoughtfully.

Thank u for being a parent...it is never easy as above has always been my strategy.

Just curious, what did you use to pay the bolded in 10yrs?

pocohantas:
People have 3/4 kids by mistake. Failed family planning mostly. But no one has PLENTY kids by mistake. I am not shaming anyone, so don't quote me with your Chatgpt response again.
Thank you.

You make a valid point—many people end up with 3 or 4 kids due to poor family planning or unexpected life turns. That’s a real issue, and it's important to talk about it without shame.

However, I’d argue that the same principle applies, even when people have many children “intentionally.” Intent is not the same as strategy. Just because someone planned to have 5, 6, or more kids doesn’t mean they thought deeply about the emotional, financial, or psychological cost especially in today’s world.

A lot of people grew up with the cultural mindset that "children are wealth" or “the more the merrier,” but times have changed. Raising one well-rounded child today takes far more than it did a few decades ago—education, safety, emotional support, and global competitiveness are all high-stakes.

So while it may not be a “mistake” in the traditional sense, it’s often a result of emotional reasoning, tradition, or pressure not actual long-term strategic thinking.

Choosing to have a large family is a personal right, yes. But let’s not confuse that with foresight or strategy especially when many parents eventually admit they feel stretched thin, exhausted, or emotionally unavailable.

pocohantas:
Why do they have 5 kids?
In 2025, I don't take your complaints serious if you have more than 2 kids less than 10yrs old.

Atiku has 36 children, OBJ has 20+ and i bet you they all have a better life than you. A man with 2 kids can still be dirt poor and hungry.

TUANKU:
Atiku has 36 children, OBJ has 20+ and i bet you they all have a better life than you. A man with 2 kids can still be dirt poor and hungry.

Atiku is not an average Nigerian.
Neither is OBJ. You are talking of the ex President and VP of Nigeria. They make up the top percentile and even enriched themselves on our national resources. I doubt they should be used as a counter-argument in a country where minimum wage is N70000 and state governments are struggling to pay it.

I didn't say a man with 2 kids can't be poor, but paying schools fees for 5 can never be same as 2. Soon enough the pressure would be transferred on the girl in that picture who is obviously the first child. This is common sense really. So what exactly is your point?

emmaodet:
Gbam !!!

The truth is, this life is so sweet and enjoyable provided you are careful, strategic, good plans with discipline.
There are so many things to do and keep doing to make your short life on earth fulfilled - regular weekend outings, vacations, gym, swimming, movies at cinemas etc and you won't miss out on each phase of your life's needed experiences (Secondary school phase /university phase and life after university phase - the dancing/miming/break dance phase of secondary school, the organic dating phase of Uni and easy and stable after university life of settling down and raising your happy family).
If you are poor or from a poor home, you will just be like a spectator who comes to stadium to watch others do their thing on earth.
You will look back into your past and their is nothing meaningful to talk about or happy about. Na so so suffering and suffering. Very annoying and emotionally draining.
You will constantly be at the mercy of Nature - constantly begging and struggling to keep a meaningful relationship without regularly absorbing bullshits, mostly indoor and anti-social etc.

I don't know if they do not process it this way. Kids would grow to learn crazy survival tactics at an early stage in life, rather than just being kids. Your kids would be seen as preys in this capitalist world. We weren't even anything like that picture, but it wasn't easy for us. How much more now that inflation has finished Nigeria.

Puss360:
Lols.... It takes a very strong couple to be determined to have just 2 kids o...
They need to look and focus on the future of the unborn child o...
Government isn't helping matters...
Everybody just dey advise everybody to keep borning(😂 pardon my grammar)..
Born two, dem go say e too small..
Born two boys, society will taunt the wife "boy na the papa get am ooo, try born girl for urself...."
Born two girls, society will taunt the man " as U dey so, you Neva born pikin o, na woman gets girl pikin o"..

All these leads to excessive offsprings...
Then we all gather and complain about the government of neglecting to Provide a better life...
It is well o

Me I get four children,and I am done for now.

Puss360:
Lols.... It takes a very strong couple to be determined to have just 2 kids o...
They need to look and focus on the future of the unborn child o...
Government isn't helping matters...
Everybody just dey advise everybody to keep borning(😂 pardon my grammar)..
Born two, dem go say e too small..
Born two boys, society will taunt the wife "boy na the papa get am ooo, try born girl for urself...."
Born two girls, society will taunt the man " as U dey so, you Neva born pikin o, na woman gets girl pikin o"..

All these leads to excessive offsprings...
Then we all gather and complain about the government of neglecting to Provide a better life...
It is well o

Me I get four children,and I am done for now. My mum gave birth to five children and I chose four children.

Personally three or four isn't too much.

pocohantas:
Atiku is not an average Nigerian.
Neither is OBJ. You are talking of the ex President and VP of Nigeria. They make up the top percentile and even enriched themselves on our national resources. I doubt they should be used them as a counter-argument in a country where minimum wage is N70000 and state governments are struggling to pay it.

I didn't say a man with 2 kids can't be poor, but paying schools fees for 5 can never be same as 2. Soon enough the pressure would be transferred on the girl in that picture who is obviously the first child. This is common sense really. So what exactly is your point?

from his moniker he is likely from the north where they are taught to celebrate having plenty of children

you will see politicians every sallah doing picture of 4 wives and 20 plus kids a s a flex. the message is these are life goals. have the kids and Allah will sort out the rest of it.

one time on our class whastapp group one guy was celebrating this . i asked him who IS GOING TO RAISE 20 KIDS? He said that is the womans job.

this may also explain why a lot of the hausa kids i knew in school simply had no regard for basic societal norms. three kids is enough stress esp when tehy enter puberty. how do you actually handle 20 plus?

I don't know if they do not process it this way. Kids would grow to learn crazy survival tactics at an early stage in life, rather than just being kids. Your kids would be seen as preys in this capitalist world. We weren't even anything like that picture, but it wasn't easy for us. How much more now that inflation has finished Nigeria.

it is good for children to learn some responsibility, but if they are forced into COMPLETE responsibility in their childhood, their imagination /creativity and ability to actually develop ideas will be stunted forever.

IyaTola:
I truly respect your perspective and the strategy you’ve followed—it's clear you’ve built a system that works for your family, and that takes both wisdom and foresight.

However, I think it's important to note that while using acquired assets and streams of income outside of salary is smart (and in fact, essential in today's economy), strategy is not just about financial leverage. True strategy also involves managing your energy, time, relationships, and emotional bandwidth—especially in parenting.

You’ve done well not relying on your salary, and that’s commendable. But let’s not overlook that even with money handled, many parents—especially those with multiple children—still find themselves overwhelmed, not because of finances, but because of emotional, physical, and mental demands.

That’s where some people choose a different kind of strategy: limiting the number of children or obligations, not from a place of lack, but as a conscious choice to maximize peace, presence, and personal fulfillment.

So yes, financial strategy is powerful—but it’s just one piece of the bigger puzzle. And for some, the most strategic move isn't just how to make more money, but how to design a life they don’t need to constantly escape or recover from.Just curious, what did you use to pay the bolded in 10yrs?

I no longer talk about my solutions online...they are my personal property.

Some poor souls here,can never sleep well when u discuss things like this openly.

GloriousGbola:
from his moniker he is likely from the north where they are taught to celebrate having plenty of children

you will see politicians every sallah doing picture of 4 wives and 20 plus kids a s a flex. the message is these are life goals. have the kids and Allah will sort out the rest of it.

one time on our class whastapp group one guy was celebrating this . i asked him who IS GOING TO RAISE 20 KIDS? He said that is the womans job.

this may also explain why a lot of the hausa kids i knew in school simply had no regard for basic societal norms. three kids is enough stress esp when tehy enter puberty. how do you actually handle 20 plus?



it is good for children to learn some responsibility, but if they are forced into COMPLETE responsibility in their childhood, their imagination /creativity and ability to actually develop ideas will be stunted forever.

I don't like when we have money discussions and Nigerians use Elon Musk and Ned as example. Now this one say it is OBJ and Atiku. Do they have anybody with money and reach like these men in their ancestry?
The problem with many kids for struggling homes is the parents run out of steam and pass the responsibility to the oldest child. It didn't start today.

If you have the will to raise many kids and pour into all of them intentionally, by all means do. But if you have to sit like the man in that picture, then it is not for you.

Puss360:
Lols.... It takes a very strong couple to be determined to have just 2 kids o...
They need to look and focus on the future of the unborn child o...
Government isn't helping matters...
Everybody just dey advise everybody to keep borning(😂 pardon my grammar)..
Born two, dem go say e too small..
Born two boys, society will taunt the wife "boy na the papa get am ooo, try born girl for urself...."
Born two girls, society will taunt the man " as U dey so, you Neva born pikin o, na woman gets girl pikin o"..

All these leads to excessive offsprings...
Then we all gather and complain about the government of neglecting to Provide a better life...
It is well o

That's what happens when the society lets outsiders to determine how they run their own lives, forgetting that no one would be responsible for your responsibilities....

All this noise about how people that have many children are "suffering" or "enduring" is baseless.

To further cap it, these proponents will include the age long lie of how people with many children always come to "beg" them for money. Well, whatever lie helps you lots sleep well at night, or massage your fragile ego, you folks should continue to spew it. One even said he was at a PTA meeting till 10:30pm. Lori iro!

Life as far as I know is a foreign language, everyone mispronounces it. Whatever rocks one's boat may sink another's. But deep down, I believe everyone has their reasons for doing whatever it is that they are doing. Let's stop this foolery of always teaching others how to live their lives. It's becoming nauseating!

PS- I have only two kids for reasons best known to me and I'll never judge anyone who chooses to have more. To each, his own.

I won't pity any couple that gives birth to 3+ children without a complementary source of livelihood for them.
I have been preaching against bringing innocent humans to this world to suffer and some persons are saying "ọbụ chukwu na azụ ụmụ" with active joysticks and vaginas.

GloriousGbola:
from his moniker he is likely from the north where they are taught to celebrate having plenty of children

you will see politicians every sallah doing picture of 4 wives and 20 plus kids a s a flex. the message is these are life goals. have the kids and Allah will sort out the rest of it.

one time on our class whastapp group one guy was celebrating this . i asked him who IS GOING TO RAISE 20 KIDS? He said that is the womans job.

this may also explain why a lot of the hausa kids i knew in school simply had no regard for basic societal norms. three kids is enough stress esp when tehy enter puberty. how do you actually handle 20 plus?



it is good for children to learn some responsibility, but if they are forced into COMPLETE responsibility in their childhood, their imagination /creativity and ability to actually develop ideas will be stunted forever.

There is this Arab family where I live with 8 children. The two oldest ones always look after the younger ones at the playground. It took one year to see their mother and the father once. Last year the oldest one was dragging an almost two-year-old around playground aggressively. I got upset and wanted to tell him to stop being so harsh on the little one but then felt sorry for him. He doesn’t seem to be older than 16 and shouldn’t bear this kind of responsibility constantly. This year he took the newborn to the playground. Can you imagine a 16 or 17-year-old alone at the playground with a newborn?

Oyinbos have seen enough and called the child protection services. Now they barely show up at the playground and only with the parents.

Another family has 5 children. The parents take good care of them but the oldest boy can barely swim which at his age is an anomaly in the West. The father works and the mother is unable to take all kids to the pool because she can’t watch all five of them to keep them from drowning. When his friends go for a swim on hot days, he stays back.

I don’t know how they will equip all kids with digital devices for school as schools go digital now. They can’t share one device during lessons or even to do homework.

What if your kids play basketball or tennis or chess, which match will you see at the weekend?

I’m the least materialistic person, as my husband says, so it’s not only about money for me. How do you divide your attention? These men who say that it’s only the mother’s job to raise kids are irresponsible.

It’s also interesting to note that in the West it’s mostly foreigners who have lots of children. If you see a white family having lots of kids, 9 out of ten times it’s an uneducated low-income family.

So if you were rich and had 3 kind and then suddenly lost job or wealth they should kill their kids.

Don't do a straight blanket to judge

Simply put it's just advisable to have less than 4 kids.

Rather than saying 1 kids .
Not everything comes in 1...just saying

Nice2023:
Me I get four children,and I am done for now. My mum gave birth to five children and I chose four children.

[/b]Personally three or four isn't too much.[b]

No amount is much or small, it all depends on Ur financial capability...
Majority of the population earns less than 100k monthly, so it's safe to say one or 2 kids are okay..

God is Ur strength sha...
4 kids lol... U dey try o..

For this period wey ordinary primary school fees dey reach 70k

pocohantas:
Why do they have 5 kids?
In 2025, I don't take your complaints serious if you have more than 2 kids less than 10yrs old.

10 years ago when the kids were born, was nigeria not better off?

Nnamdipapa:
I agree with you. I told my youngest sister who depends on me that I will cut her off if she gets pregnant the third time when they can barely feed two.

Thank God I'm not alone on this.

I've seen that picture elsewhere on Facebook and the first thought was "if he had two children, he wouldn't be so bothered".

I kuku know myself. Na me get the preek. I didn't come into this world only to raise children. I came into this world to make money and enjoy my life to the fullest.

---

I've read where our men say "tie the woman with belly", "oh, she don recover and is becoming beautiful, give am belly make she continue with childbearing" etc. Yes, the first five years gets a woman tied down with childbearing and child-raising. After that, she becomes free and the next fifteen years is largely on the man. Should the man perform abysmally, he would be derided and looked down at (it's biblical anyway). So, our men should know that to raise a child means you provide 18-25 years of your life, energy and money. Three children means 18 * 3 = 54; 18 *4 = 72. To the age of 25 means: 25 * 3 = 75: 25 *4 = 100

It doesn't mean you must live up to 100 years (what's our life expectancy rate?), but you're expected as the man to provide for that long. Remember, no one cares whether you are able to, but it's your responsibility to do so. So before you think giving woman belly ties her down, think deeply.

arantess:
10 years ago when the kids were born, was nigeria not better off?

Does any of the children in that ai generated picture look over the age of 10?

arantess:
10 years ago when the kids were born, was nigeria not better off?

People used sawdust as fuel during Abacha's regime. The only time in memorable history that Nigeria had it good economically was Obasanjo to Jonathan. Go and check the records, ever since 2015, we've not attained a GDP growth rate of 5%. Do you know what it means for a rapidly growing country to run a decade with anaemic economic growth?

If people who experienced Buhari go on to have more children than they can adequately take care, anything they see, they should take it like that.