Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,551,640 members, 5,882,272 topics. Date: Sunday, 27 September 2020 at 08:47 PM

I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father (56518 Views)

At What Age Should A Father Stop Bathing His Daughter? / How Can I Advise A Serial Cheat And Failure Of A Father? / What A Father Told His Daughter A-day Before Her Wedding - Read (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (12) (Reply) (Go Down)

I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by Romangalactic(m): 4:30pm On Feb 05
I'll try to keep my predicament short. I registered a new account for this purpose but I'm sure many of you will understand that sterility is not something to be announced which is exactly how I got myself in this situation. I am 35 and engaged to a beautiful woman who completes me in every way. As much as it hurts me to say this, I have not been totally honest with her about everything.
Just yesterday while we were home together, she told me that she is pregnant . I asked her how sure she is, she said she had done the pee test and that she knows how she is feeling. The issue here is that I am sterile but I have not told her this before so it is impossible that I am responsible.

Please before anyone tells me I deserve this for not opening up to her, I have been undergoing treatment secretly and they say I will be able to father children when it's done so of course, I am hopeful and have not bothered to inform her about any of this. I can't stand losing her for any reason. My issue right now is that I asked my endocrinologist this morning if it's possible that the treatment is already working and he said we have not gone far enough to see any results yet. This means I am definitely not the father of the child she is carrying.

Only one other person in this world knows about my health challenge and that is my cousin. I told him and he told me to break up with my fiancée, someone I have already done introduction with and families are involved. I told him I cannot and that he must take the secret to the grave, he thinks I am making the biggest mistake of my life.
Well I told him my plan is to accept the pregnancy and continue to make her think I don't know she cheated on me. I am doing this with the hope that after we get married, my treatment will be completed and everything will be back to normal. But at the same time, I still can't shake the feeling that I am about to marry someone who cheated and is passing off another man's child as mine, I feel cheated and it hurts.

Can anyone else please tell me what to do about this situation I have found myself? Please I just need to hear from other people besides my cousin. Another thing, he has never really liked my fiancée so I feel that also may be his motivation.
I need neutral opinions please

67 Likes 6 Shares

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by Sanchez01: 4:31pm On Feb 05
Whatever your reasons are for not telling her holds no water. You established the relationship on a lie and deceit and it is somewhat hilarious that you are not sure whether or not you are getting the same treatment right now.

While I don't want to authoritatively assert that she cheated, I feel your best chance right now is to wait after nine months and run a DNA test on the child, albeit secretly (for your sake and hers).

On a lighter note, you probably should get sewing threads of different colours, say five, tie them simultaneously around a long broom or a long nail. Rub it against the dirt or sand to make it look dirty a bit and cook up a story about some practice in your parent's lineage. Ask her to confirm you own the pregnancy over the jargon you made, but not without warning her of the grave consequences. Your truth will come out. grin

Last, last, you both are truly meant for each other.

735 Likes 49 Shares

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by NGRsenate: 4:37pm On Feb 05
There are two things involved ...

Your girl cheated


Or


You’re going to be a father


You can either confront her or take a gamble that you have actually fathered a child.

Are you a betting man?

107 Likes 5 Shares

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by mcdokwe(m): 4:40pm On Feb 05
I think you guys are now even, and it is best you accost her with what you know to be the truth. No need getting married on a faulty foundation.

The truth is that you may want to accept the child so the society won't know your predicament, but what happens when you watch them sleeping, when she suckles the baby, what will go through your mind?
Come out plain and both of you should decide where to go from there.

65 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by adontcare(f): 4:42pm On Feb 05
Oga open up to the Lady and tell her the truth. Tell her how far u v gone with treatment. If possible take her to see ur doctor. She know who d real father is. If it is u, then God be praised ur kini is working sad

221 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by potent5(m): 4:45pm On Feb 05
You say wetin?

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by Nobody: 4:50pm On Feb 05
Go for a DNA test when she delivers cheesy

30 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by Osasnidas(m): 4:53pm On Feb 05
Before you Blame infidelity on the girl, try and check yourself again in another lab or hospital, let them analyse your semen again... Unless if you know your stuff isn't fully operational..

235 Likes 7 Shares

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by eyinjuege: 4:55pm On Feb 05
Congratulations...
Look after your baby well

43 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by keepingmum: 5:10pm On Feb 05
you both suit each other......both liars, pretenders and deceitful individuals. If you are not willing to share your health challenges but rather fraudulently decieve someone into marriage with you, you deserve EVERY kind of deceit /fraud perpetrated by any partner of yours

236 Likes 9 Shares

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by Romangalactic(m): 5:17pm On Feb 05
Osasnidas:
Before you Blame infidelity on the girl, try and check yourself again in another lab or hospital, let them analyse your semen again... Unless if you know your stuff isn't fully operational..
I am fully operational but sterile. I will have to find a way to make the trip and see my endocrinologist so he can take samples, my next consultation was not due for another four months but I'm really praying the child is mine.

45 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by Romangalactic(m): 5:28pm On Feb 05
adontcare:
Oga open up to the Lady and tell her the truth. Tell her how far u v gone with treatment. If possible take her to see ur doctor. She know who d real father is. If it is u, then God be praised ur kini is working sad
It's not everytime the truth sets people free. I thought about this as well but there too may things at play.
I have always felt the treatment may not have positive results fast enough and will take many trials, so accepting responsibility for this child is a good way to save us the embarrassment of our families wondering why we have not had a child after marriage and it also ensures she won't be trying to get pregnant for the next three to four years, which gives me more time to sort myself out.

I know this is selfish of me,. thanks a lot for your suggestions.

54 Likes 4 Shares

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by Romangalactic(m): 5:31pm On Feb 05
NGRsenate:
There are two things involved ...

Your girl cheated


Or


You’re going to be a father


You can either confront her or take a gamble that you have actually fathered a child.

Are you a betting man?
I'm not but there is always a first time

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by NGRsenate: 5:37pm On Feb 05
Romangalactic:

I'm not but there is always a first time

Then make a decision and own it.

8 Likes

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by Mstick: 5:42pm On Feb 05
Fiancée-Omotola
Fiancé-Tony Umez
Cousin-Tunde Ednut

81 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by ststyreal(f): 5:44pm On Feb 05
The child could still be yours, as nothing is impossible before God... Man proposes, God disposes..... Fingers crossed.... Let the baby be born first, then you can go for a DNA test..... But nothing gives peace like the TRUTH!

132 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by Wetlink: 5:49pm On Feb 05
Romangalactic:

It's not everytime the truth sets people free. I thought about this as well but there too may things at play.
I have always felt the treatment may not have positive results fast enough and will take many trials, so accepting responsibility for this child is a good way to save us the embarrassment of our families wondering why we have not had a child after marriage and it also ensures she won't be trying to get pregnant for the next three to four years, which gives me more time to sort myself out.

I know this is selfish of me,. thanks a lot for your suggestions.

Kai I feel for you ooh BUT you really need to come out clean. If she stays, she stays. if she decides to leave, it will hurt but you would have saved yourself a lot of troubles.

Do this and every other thing you are battling to find out will fall in place.

My prayers are with you.

32 Likes

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by Nobody: 6:03pm On Feb 05
Two birds of the same feather.

7 Likes

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by sisisioge: 6:06pm On Feb 05
Chisos...could you just do a seminal fluid analysis again just to be absolutely sure that your swimmers aren't active. What if she didn't cheat...what if the baby is truly yours? Please open up to her...please.

56 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by Romangalactic(m): 6:06pm On Feb 05
keepingmum:
you both suit each other......both liars, pretenders and deceitful individuals. If you are not willing to share your health challenges but rather fraudulently decieve someone into marriage with you, you deserve EVERY kind of deceit /fraud perpetrated by any partner of yours
Thanks, you've been a lot of help.

12 Likes

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by elektra(f): 6:45pm On Feb 05
I’m curious. How did you find out you were sterile? Functional men don’t randomly check for sperm activity. Since you are not married, what could have prompted you to check?

165 Likes 5 Shares

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by Nnemuka(m): 6:58pm On Feb 05
elektra:
I’m curious. How did you find out you were sterile? Functional men don’t randomly check for sperm activity. Since you are not married, what could have prompted you to check?
He is a scriptwriter, he is gathering your opinions on a story he intends selling to Emem Isong.

OP, look into this question and add to what you already wrote.

176 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by Nobody: 7:21pm On Feb 05
Nnemuka:

He is a scriptwriter, he is gathering your opinions on a story he intends selling to Emem Isong.

OP, look into this question and add to what you already wrote.

He should also get his medical facts right. There is no such long term treatment for male stertility.

52 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by toplinetrtrend: 7:41pm On Feb 05
Romangalactic:
I'll try to keep my predicament short. I registered a new account for this purpose but I'm sure many of you will understand that sterility is not something to be announced which is exactly how I got myself in this situation. I am 35 and engaged to a beautiful woman who completes me in every way. As much as it hurts me to say this, I have not been totally honest with her about everything.
Just yesterday while we were home together, she told me that she is pregnant . I asked her how sure she is, she said she had done the pee test and that she knows how she is feeling. The issue here is that I am sterile but I have not told her this before so it is impossible that I am responsible.

Please before anyone tells me I deserve this for not opening up to her, I have been undergoing treatment secretly and they say I will be able to father children when it's done so of course, I am hopeful and have not bothered to inform her about any of this. I can't stand losing her for any reason. My issue right now is that I asked my endocrinologist this morning if it's possible that the treatment is already working and he said we have not gone far enough to see any results yet. This means I am definitely not the father of the child she is carrying.

Only one other person in this world knows about my health challenge and that is my cousin. I told him and he told me to break up with my fiancée, someone I have already done introduction with and families are involved. I told him I cannot and that he must take the secret to the grave, he thinks I am making the biggest mistake of my life.
Well I told him my plan is to accept the pregnancy and continue to make her think I don't know she cheated on me. I am doing this with the hope that after we get married, my treatment will be completed and everything will be back to normal. But at the same time, I still can't shake the feeling that I am about to marry someone who cheated and is passing off another man's child as mine, I feel cheated and it hurts.

Can anyone else please tell me what to do about this situation I have found myself? Please I just need to hear from other people besides my cousin. Another thing, he has never really liked my fiancée so I feel that also may be his motivation.
I need neutral opinions please

Bro, there is no assurance that she will not cheat on you again and again.

A girl that cheats during relationship had a tendency to cheat in marriage

10 Likes

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by Saintmary(f): 7:49pm On Feb 05
Nnemuka:

He is a scriptwriter, he is gathering your opinions on a story he intends selling to Emem Isong.

OP, look into this question and add to what you already wrote.
Youdonmeanit

43 Likes

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by Romangalactic(m): 7:51pm On Feb 05
elektra:
I’m curious. How did you find out you were sterile? Functional men don’t randomly check for sperm activity. Since you are not married, what could have prompted you to check?
I had an STinfection I never knew about until I began noticing white fluid forming around the tip of my privates, it looked like semen so at first I thought maybe while i was asleep I was aroused but when I began experiencing burning sensations while peeing, i just had to get myself checked out. They found out it was a urinary tract infection left untreated for too long that reached my prostate

I could give more details but I'm afraid i don't want to go too much into all of it if you don't mind.

27 Likes

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by Romangalactic(m): 7:57pm On Feb 05
RisenPhoenix:


He should also get his medical facts right. There is no such long term treatment for male stertility.
That you're male and this is coming from you is a little overwhelming. Are you a doctor and did you notice that the person treating me is an endocrinologist? What do you think these people do?
I really don't need this please

33 Likes

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by Nnemuka(m): 7:57pm On Feb 05
Saintmary:

Youdonmeanit
grin

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by NIJJAking(m): 7:58pm On Feb 05
REPENT NOW OF YOUR SINFUL EVIL WAYS TO AVOID SPENDING YOUR ETERNITY IN HELL FIRE....JESUS CHRIST LOVES AND WARN YOU TO REPENT AND CONVERT NOW TO CHRISTIANITY TO AVOID HELL FIRE WHEN YOU DIE....you are not a mistake creature, God specially made you to be with Him here and in eternity in heaven. Give God a try today and you will know He exists and love you so much.

17 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by Romangalactic(m): 7:58pm On Feb 05
Wetlink:


Kai I feel for you ooh BUT you really need to come out clean. If she stays, she stays. if she decides to leave, it will hurt but you would have saved yourself a lot of troubles.

Do this and every other thing you are battling to find out will fall in place.

My prayers are with you.
Thank you for your prayers

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by Hisincrease: 8:17pm On Feb 05
My brother this Lie and cheat journey you call union will end in tears soonest. You can endure one child but can you endure 4-5 kids from this same woman knowing well that your engine is not grinding.
Break up and start this process again or move on with break and quench union.

22 Likes

Re: I Am Sterile But About To Be A Father by PrimadonnaO(f): 9:32pm On Feb 05
Oga, do you realize that if you had wedded her without disclosing your sterility, you’d have simply wasted your money, because such a marriage is automatically null and void? undecided

People are really funny!

27 Likes 1 Share

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (12) (Reply)

I Was A Good Girl But Why Did God Allow This To Happen To Me? / This Girl Is About To Be Kicked Out! / My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2020 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 165
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.