₦airaland Forum

Dpharisee:
A friend's wife was complaining to me how they have 2 children from her sister inlaw living with them and because of the additional mouths to feed she and her husband suspended child bearing after 3 kids.

The same Sister in-law whom they are raising her 2 kids because of the economic difficulties she and her husband are facing and struggling to raise 5 children just put to bed their 6th child.

She was telling me that this is cheating from her sister inlaw and her husband and that my friend us not seeing it that way and want's me to talk to my friend that one of his sisters children should be sent back while they plan to make their own 4th child since they can afford it.

Omo! This is not the time to raise other people's kids. They should be sent away ASAP. Some of the people you are pitying do not feel pity for themselves.

Being a father is an optional choice

franchasng:
lolzzz, I really wished I have the heart cos I need it; can't imagine having more of these people around with their unending dramas and quest for attention lol


I

Wait until they become teenagers. My boys invaded my room to take my latest shoes and clothes. My soap and toothpaste is always missing when I need them. I always hate to drive them to the houses of their friends. The work is never ending.

Son punched someone in the schooling I am invited for meetings. I have to drive 40minutes zndvwaut for 2 hours
Of basketball practice. Our parents never suffered like these as we were always playing by ourselves. Lol

franchasng:
Hahahaha, funny enough when they grow up and become successful, they move in with one boy or girlz enjoying their lives and forget their Papa's sweat



Highest they call once in a while to check up on the old man.


Honestly, I wouldn't blame those that don't want to marry in this our generation cos the stress of raising kids nowadays is not for the faint hearted.


My son will be narrating some carton movies he has watched or watching and expecting me to know the characters and flow along. Sometimes he will even direct a question about one carton character to me, expecting me to answer what I have never watched or heard about before

Hehehehe, I have a plan, this plan is to "secure" my future that they won't forget me once they hook up with their respective spouses....tell me if this is a good plan, I will make sure I make good friends with their boyfriend/girlfriend whom they hope to marry, treat them well so when my children marry them they as children inlaws will always want to visit me!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Do you think it will work??

jaszplus12:
I tell whoever cares to listen never to have more than two children, some listen, nod and ignore my advice, in fact one guy avoided me for almost a year, he couldn't bear it till he came to me asking for forgiveness, shocked I asked for what, and he told me he'd been avoiding me because after the talk we had he impregnated his wife again and he regretted cos money was hard to come by!
And yes, mostly it's the wives that continue to get pregnant for one reason or the other but tell you it's your fault when it becomes hard to take care of the family!!

I think the best thing men should do is to take pills or use injection cos not all men have the heart to go for vasectomy, so pills and injection should do the magic.



Dear Nigerian ladies, please stop birthing more than 2 kids, whether they are all girls or boys doesn't matter, they are all kids.


The days of looking for a male child is gradually going extinct cos most people no longer live in the remote villages where they want to have a male child to inherit their farm lands.


Boy or girl, train them well, wherever she is, as they tell her story, your name as her father and mother will be mentioned and that's enough. Besides dead people don't know who inherited their name abi wealth or not.


Too many kids can reduce ones lifespan whether rich or poor. If you think money will fill the gap, they may end up becoming societal vices that you will forever regret having.

emmaodet:
Don't mind them. Useless people.
I have so many around me.
I have muted them from constantly seeing my whatsapp status.
They are always begging with so many sob stories.
They see you go on a staycation or vacation and they get annoyed for not picking their slacks.
There is this mentality of "are you blind to see are the problems on ground in the family to pick one rather than going on vacation"
Can't you use the money to pick or lift other family members? We rise by lifting other people ganags

My direct elder brother is worth 100s of millions. Yet he didn't bother to bring anyone up. Instead he partied with friends and he was always dashing out monies to outsiders.

We the siblings have this mentality of being independent. Later he had a problem of common 45million, and no one in the immediate family could help him with such, his friends no send am. He went on a downward spiral and we the siblings are the giving money here and there because blood matters.

My argument is these, if you are rich, and you see one or more of your siblings that are showing potential, invest in him or her. Because it might be a good investment but if you see say na the stupid or rubbish types, I think you should lock up.

I thank God everyone of us is coming up bit by bit even our last born just completed his own building

franchasng:
I think the best thing men should do is to take pills or use injection cos not all men have the heart to go for vasectomy, so pills and injection should do the magic.



Dear Nigerian ladies, please stop birthing more than 2 kids, whether they are all girls or boys doesn't matter, they are all kids.


The days of looking for a male child is gradually going extinct cos most people no longer live in the remote villages where they want to have a male child to inherit their farm lands.


Boy or girl, train them well, wherever she is, as they tell her story, your name as her father and mother will be mentioned and that's enough. Besides dead people don't know who inherited their name abi wealth or not.


Too many kids can reduce ones lifespan whether rich or poor. If you think money will fill the gap, they may end up becoming societal vices that you will forever regret having.

I strongly believe that 15 years from now no one will advice anyone about number of kids, the world economy will be the "adviser"!

Nnamdipapa:
Wait until they become teenagers. My boys invaded my room to take my latest shoes and clothes. My soap and toothpaste is always missing when I need them. I always hate to drive them to the houses of their friends. The work is never ending.

Son punched someone in the schooling I am invited for meetings. I have to drive 40minutes zndvwaut for 2 hours
Of basketball practice. Our parents never suffered like these as we were always playing by ourselves. Lol

Hehe no be small thing


I pray my own workload on them will reduce as they grow older Amen. God abeg oh, I no kukuma get strength

Chilipepper:
No wonder some fathers dey kpai quickly 😔😔loads are much!

Is this what you go through as a father?

It looks like this but it's not. Men should make God their dwelling and only Source, He will provide for all humankind including all of nature that He made and belongs to Him...

CJStarz:
Papa Nnamdi,
Which kain school dey hold PTA meeting reach dat kain time? PTA meeting suppose to dey hold close to dismissal time so that once una finish na to carry d children home. I no come understand this 10.30pm own

no mind am... I was also wondering tbvh

Nnamdipapa:
When I go near the door, I always get the question, ' dad, where are you going?" I am being constantly monitored and surveiled.

When I travel for business, the next day I have to answer "When are you coming back?" My belly will begin to be water water!! Especially if my daughter asks...😆😆😆😆

jaszplus12:
Hehehehe, I have a plan, this plan is to "secure" my future that they won't forget me once they hook up with their respective spouses....tell me if this is a good plan, I will make sure I make good friends with their boyfriend/girlfriend whom they hope to marry, treat them well so when my children marry them they as children inlaws will always want to visit me!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Do you think it will work??

lolzzz

It may not work oh, just prepare for the worst case scenario, how?


Save enough.


Invest in landed properties aka real estate, not really tenant house cos that's another problem bigger than the one you are running away from.


Just have enough properties if you can acquire them now, please do.


Have a retirement savings plan with any of the pension funds mgt firms if based in Naija.


Before you turn 65, startup a small business and have few trusted staff, if possible ladies.


Invest gradually in the business so it can be your next job where you will be going everyday to keep your brain busy cos moneymaking and the stress that comes with it makes the brain active. Avoid sedentary life.


Religious activities is another good way to keep busy and build strong, reliable second family after retirement or towards retirement.



Bottomline, save, save, invest so that with or without kids, you can still take good care of yourself and your responsibilities.


I just pray for long life and good health, I know my old age will be very sweet, sweeter than my youth

franchasng:
Hehe no be small thing


I pray my own workload on them will reduce as they grow older Amen. God abeg oh, I no kukuma get strength

I woke up when the smoke alarm went off at 3am, I found my son in the kitchen cooking, said he woke up and was hungry. I went crazy and my sleep disappeared

franchasng:
Hehe no be small thing


I pray my own workload on them will reduce as they grow older Amen. God abeg oh, I no kukuma get strength

No worries, I know where you can buy strength....you will be needing it, only pray that they keep making you happy!! 😄

Nnamdipapa:
I woke up when the smoke alarm went off at 3am, I found my son in the kitchen cooking, said he woke up and was hungry. I went crazy and my sleep disappeared

lafmaooo, when I was younger too, I always feel hungry at midnight, dunno why, so forgive him

franchasng:
lolzzz

It may not work oh, just prepare for the worst case scenario, how?


Save enough.


Invest in landed properties aka real estate, not really tenant house cos that's another problem bigger than the one you are running away from.


Just have enough properties if you can acquire them now, please do.


Have a retirement savings plan with any of the pension funds mgt firms if based in Naija.


Before you turn 65, startup a small business and have few trusted staff, if possible ladies.


Invest gradually in the business so it can be your next job where you will be going everyday to keep your brain busy cos moneymaking and the stress that comes with it makes the brain active. Avoid sedentary life.


Religious activities is another good way to keep busy and build strong, reliable second family after retirement or towards retirement.



Bottomline, save, save, invest so that with or without kids, you can still take good care of yourself and your responsibilities.


I just pray for long life and good health, I know my old age with be very sweet, sweeter than my youth

Thanks for the solid advice, I'm on that path as well... May God bless us and help our children to be a source of praise and blessings to us in our old age!! Amen!!

Idaytesj29:
Some wives silently want more children. They will refuse to use family planing or chose an unreliable one leaving the opportunity of pregnancy in the ratio. Also, some will give medical reasons to not do effective family planing eg saying pill may cause Cancer or alter their body like excessive weight gain, bleeding or excessive weight loss Etc... these are educated women I, not illiterates.

But the man is still at the receiving end of
this. May God help us.

If they ,refuse’ to use family planning? Come, is family planning only for women?

Nnamdipapa:
When I go near the door, I always get the question, ' dad, where are you going?" I am being constantly monitored and surveiled.

You always crack me up with your daddy stories.

I pray God makes the burden lighter for you 🙏

jaszplus12:
Thanks for the solid advice, I'm on that path as well... May God bless us and help our children to be a source of praise and blessings to us in our old age!! Amen!!

AMEN sir.


What a great thread, just refreshed my brain, it was nice reading from real fathers, gave me some relief cos at some points, I do feel like, na WA oh, did I disturb my parents like this when I was young?

bukatyne:
You always crack me up with your daddy stories.

I pray God makes the burden lighter for you 🙏

Ah, no be small thing o. I once got an urgent call from my daughter at school, na so ran from the office to go buy pads, then had to drive 30minutes to her school.

franchasng:
AMEN sir.


What a great thread, just refreshed my brain, it was nice reading from real fathers, gave me some relief cos at some points, I do feel like, na WA oh, did I disturb my parents like this when I was young?

Took the words right out of my mouth!!
My parents self no really get my time back then and truly it affected us as children. That's why I vowed to let my children be close and I will learn to help them learn!

This thread is a refreshing read.

Kudos to all the daddies here.

Nnamdipapa:
Ah, no be small thing o. I once got an urgent call from school from my daughter, na so ran from the office to go buy pads, drove 30minutes to her school.

jaszplus12:
Took the words right out of my mouth!!
My parents self no really get my time back then and truly it affected us as children. That's why I vowed to let my children be close and I will learn to help them learn!

Them no born me well to try cuddle my father, Idi Amin of Uganda and Adolf Hitler joined together


But my son will even tell me that he wants to sleep on my bed today and he won't even be scared, he would carry his tab and mount at the middle of the bed watching cartoon and expecting me not to complain but to comply by joining him to watch cartoon or play game, they are lucky generation sha, it's their luck lolzz

Marry one woman and birth one kid. Problem solved. I don’t know if people use children to collect awards. I don’t see the point of having more than two depending on one’s pockets.

Nonsense post!

Chilipepper:
No wonder some fathers dey kpai quickly 😔😔loads are much!

Is this what you go through as a father?

IyaTola:
Not everyone with many kids planned it — unexpected pregnancies, lack of access to birth control, or cultural pressures play a role. Struggling parents still deserve empathy, not judgment. Having more than two kids doesn’t automatically mean someone is irresponsible. Life circumstances change, and people shouldn't be mocked for tough seasons. Instead of shaming, focus on education, support, and better access to family planning to create real solutions.

My sister, why are responding with Chatgpt?

geoworldedu:
Yes, people were able to finance 4 in year 2015. Then come 7 years later and the same income could not even finance the couple alone not to talk of their four children and we blame them instead of the government. It's not fair.

That’s why one needs to double one hustle and go with the economy tides.
So as to know what to do.

franchasng:
Them no born me well to try cuddle my father, Idi Amin of Uganda and Adolf Hitler joined together


But my son will even tell me that he wants to sleep on my bed today and he won't even be scared, he would carry his tab and mount at the middle of the bed watching cartoon and expecting me not to complain but to comply by joining him to watch cartoon or play game, they are lucky generation sha, it's their luck lolzz

I think our parents had it way better than us as regards parenting. They were not as stressed out and parenting was not as hands-on as it is today.

We just went our ways and did whatever we liked, came back home for food and out again with my friends. Over 80% of the time, my parents did not know my whereabouts and it was fine.
Now, once I stepped out of the home, I get 7 phone calls asking my location.
The parents of 7 kids in the olden days is less stressed out compared to the parent of today with four.

Nnamdipapa:
I was forced to witness the birth of our last child, the doctor told me I was free to faint if I felt like. She said lots of men would pass out witnessing child birth. I quickly went for a laser vasectomy after that harowing
experience.

Please did you do the vasectomy in Nigeria? If yes, please which hospital?
My husband is interested.

That's why family planning is a necessity

Chilipepper:
No wonder some fathers dey kpai quickly 😔😔loads are much!

Is this what you go through as a father?

Richwifey:
Please did you do the vasectomy in Nigeria? If yes, please which hospital?
My husband is interested.

Sorry, I did in Canada and it was free for laser. I might have to research if they have it in Nigeria.