₦airaland Forum

Auxtan:
My salesgirl understands my business to the point I am considering to just make her my family.

I don't do an easy business and I am looking to scale, which means someone that understands this business is vital for that to happen and preferably a family member.

Now I am thinking of marrying her and also in the process leaving the relationship/dating market that is a distraction.

I don't have issues whatsoever with this my salesgirl in terms of character and even accountability, she's just perfect in those aspects, but my problem is her age.

Right now, I am just thinking of taking this decision of killing 2 birds with a stone might just be the best for me, one is settling down and two is marrying someone that understands my business.

Is a 29 year old man too big for an 18 year old girl? What's the general public perception of it?

PS: For the main time, I haven't made moves on her. But my interviews on her so far shows she's not looking to enter the high institution anytime soon (probably due to funds). But if I become comfortable with the age gap that is my major concern, I'd make moves on her and see if it will be possible. I'm trying to assess general views on marrying girls in their teen like her.

Since you are asking, I will tell you not to. An 18yr old doesn't know what she wants from life yet. Don't be surprised if you start to go with her, a few years down the road she tells you she is no longer interested and you start wondering why.

Auxtan:
My salesgirl understands my business to the point I am considering to just make her my family.

I don't do an easy business and I am looking to scale, which means someone that understands this business is vital for that to happen and preferably a family member.

Now I am thinking of marrying her and also in the process leaving the relationship/dating market that is a distraction.

I don't have issues whatsoever with this my salesgirl in terms of character and even accountability, she's just perfect in those aspects, but my problem is her age.

Right now, I am just thinking of taking this decision of killing 2 birds with a stone might just be the best for me, one is settling down and two is marrying someone that understands my business.

Is a 29 year old man too big for an 18 year old girl? What's the general public perception of it?

PS: For the main time, I haven't made moves on her. But my interviews on her so far shows she's not looking to enter the high institution anytime soon (probably due to funds). But if I become comfortable with the age gap that is my major concern, I'd make moves on her and see if it will be possible. I'm trying to assess general views on marrying girls in their teen like her.

You know proper business people don't marry they top performers they give them higher roles, better pay, lots of benefits, and a solid contract. Will you marry every sales girl who understands your business and does well? How about running your business professionally and stop looking at a 'just finished childhood' child romantically.

You have so many options that don't affect you and personally I think women in Nigeria run businesses more professionally than men. Go to balogun market today and you'll see mothers of 4 running shops as sales managers many started at 16, got married, bore children, and rose from small girl to sale manager. You'll even think they own the shop but they don't, their madams rarely show but the benefits they have makes them perpetual workers and the madams are fine cause they make returns. Personally I know more than a handful of women like that who are not the owners of the shop but have run it for decades on behalf of the madam.

But men, nope instead this is your idea. I've met many girls who trained themselves in part time evening or Saturday school while working as a sales girl. The madams gave them bonuses and incentives like reach x target and get x bonus, some even sell with 1 to 2k extra and the bosses turn a blind eye cause they are delivering. As long as they don't steal or short change them they are fine. And these girls go from girls to young lady to women and to mothers within these shops.

Again men. And someone commented your thinking long term? Long term ko. Do you think pregnancy and childbirth is easy for everyone what if she can't be useful to your business during that time, who will run the business, what if you have a child with needs, do you think she'll have time for the business, when she's playing daughter in law extraordinare will she have time for the business, she'll run the business, run the home, raise the kids, play good wife, do daughter in law all at once.

You'll just end up killing her dreams and your business and getting angry at everyone but yourself. And if God forbid anything happens to your business your entire family's source of livelihood ends. Abeg just focus on giving her a good contract. Learn to run your business professionally, you'll thrive much faster.

Auxtan:
➜Right now, I am just thinking of taking this decision of killing 2 birds with a stone might just be the best for me, one is settling down and two is marrying someone that understands my business.
Is a 29 year old man too big for an 18 year old girl? What's the general public perception of it?
PS: For the main time, I haven't made moves on her. But my interviews on her so far shows she's not looking to enter the high institution anytime soon (probably due to funds). But if I become comfortable with the age gap that is my major concern, I'd make moves on her and see if it will be possible. I'm trying to assess general views on marrying girls in their teen like her.

So, she has dreams of a better life than the one she currently has, and you are looking to sponsor those dreams for her if she were willing to date you? Why una dey like set una selves up for tears, for Pete's sake? Una no dey learn, na him be the thing! 😩😩😩

This is 2025, and there is information everywhere. An 18-year-old raised in Nigeria is only just starting her life. You better let her be... wait until maybe after she turns 30 before you pursue her. 🙄

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LordReed:
➜Since you are asking, I will tell you not to. An 18yr old doesn't know what she wants from life yet. Don't be surprised if you start to go with her, a few years down the road she tells you she is no longer interested and you start wondering why.

Oh, that definitely is going to happen, and OP will pretend it hit him like a bolt out of nowhere! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Things have really changed. If you marry that 18 years old girl, you will later regret it. She is yet to know herself let alone marriage issue. Just let her be.
If you need a wife look else where for a matured lady.
Had I know is the last comment of....

You may not be marrying her for the right reasons.

If you're marrying her because she understands the business and is hardworking, is that what you want as a wife, you need to ask yourself.

Seems to me that it is a business decision that you want to make by marrying her...and you might not get what you want from the marriage, because that girl gon change when she becomes your wife. She will not be hardworking and might decide to shift her focus somewhere else like school, or another business once she becomes your wife.

My point is, marry her not for business reasons, but for Love. That way, whatever she decides to do later will not affect you that much.

KosiGee:
➜She’s an adult according to the law. Encourage and send her to school to further her education. By the time you are 41, she’ll be 30. This is not a Ned and Regina case here. The age gap isn’t bad

. Send her to school on his dime only for him to come back crying that she has gone off and married someone else, or what?

papyjaypaul:
In a few years, she will be 29 and you will be 40, do you want to be with the woman who will make the saying, a fool at 40 is a fool forever true?

By the time you are wise and she is 40 and you are 51, do you want to look back and be proud of your decision 22 years ago? When your children are already teenagers or leaving your house?

If you see ripe fruit, pluck am, no waste time. The family system is dying and parents are no longer training good children for marriage anymore. It's the internet that is raising kids these days, they will waste your life arguing with you about what is right and wrong because their parents did not teach them how to be husbands/men or wives/mothers/women.

Before the world contaminates this woman, groom her as the bridegroom and you won't regret it. Let me tell you one more thing, once she works with you or for you, she will have no problem with you, it will give you time to build more because she is a trusted manager. Trust is the most expensive currency in business. But I must warn you, they also say don't mix business with pleasure. Remember that once you get married, you have to change the way you deal with her, she's not your worker, she's your colleague, she's your wife. She will get pregnant, she will change, make sure you groom your wife and she will flourish.

Don't worry about what society thinks, it's all in your head. I often refer to Omotola Jalade who got married young and the age gap is like your own. People only look for bad examples to scare you but remain focused on your vision. The best time for women to have kids is in their late teens and early 20s, Africans have embraced western lifestyle to their own detriment and now we are having the same problems as them, such as fertility problems. Our parents and grandparents married very early, some of them failed and married someone else, some of them were successful. Education should not be an excuse to get married, don't let her waste her virtuousness when she can get education online. Moreover, all the education we are doing today is either to work for someone or be our own boss. She already has real life experience working with you. Let her enroll in courses that will make her sharp and your business will flourish. He is a lucky man who finds a good wife.

Thank you sooooooo much.

She is an adult in 5 years time people wont know the difference she will look like your age mate.

Auxtan:
➜Thank you sooooooo much.

He is telling you to groom a woman in the year 2025, and you are thanking him? You are basically signing yourself up for a life full of regret if you take that advice. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Jaycobbs:
The day you stop worrying about people's thoughts and opinions of you is the day you'll start living a much better life.

Do you, personally, approve?
Does God approve?
Does the lady approve?

If you get three yeses to these questions, anyone else's approval is just extra.

I'm hoping you're thinking about marriage—if she's wifable and the girl's family are not against it, then do the needful and start focusing on more salient matters.

However, there's a generational difference between you guys. If you're jumping into this pool, be prepared to encounter differences in thinking. You're both at quite different stages in life.

If you can't be patient enough to deal with it, kindly leave her be.

Best comment

Dear Op,this situation is dicey but very achievable.
You can't base marriage on the fact that she understands your business,you need to systematically let her fall in love with you before you reveal your intentions to her and this can take some time and it will also take a lot of maturity from you, you know She is in the ripe stage of her life,She has her dreams, aspirations and she may not be willing to put it on hold because of you and you have to convince her that you can be a husband to her because their is difference between been a (lover and husband) and a boss.

See as I dey shake my head for you.

Hmmm! You better calm down and reason properly so that your eyes can clear well

You are rushing things. 29 is not late for marriage. Ride on with her businesswise and make more money, save and expand. Maybe you can signal her your intentions slightly sometimes. Destiny must prevail.

Child Abuse

What's your problem with "the general public perception of it"? Do you live by people's perception?
Is the person of legal age?

There's your answer

Auxtan:
My salesgirl understands my business to the point I am considering to just make her my family.

I don't do an easy business and I am looking to scale, which means someone that understands this business is vital for that to happen and preferably a family member.

Now I am thinking of marrying her and also in the process leaving the relationship/dating market that is a distraction.

I don't have issues whatsoever with this my salesgirl in terms of character and even accountability, she's just perfect in those aspects, but my problem is her age.

Right now, I am just thinking of taking this decision of killing 2 birds with a stone might just be the best for me, one is settling down and two is marrying someone that understands my business.

Is a 29 year old man too big for an 18 year old girl? What's the general public perception of it?

PS: For the main time, I haven't made moves on her. But my interviews on her so far shows she's not looking to enter the high institution anytime soon (probably due to funds). But if I become comfortable with the age gap that is my major concern, I'd make moves on her and see if it will be possible. I'm trying to assess general views on marrying girls in their teen like her.

Oh. You no wan send am go school make e gather more intellect, but you wan make e use the acumen e get naturally run your business?

GTFOH

Auxtan:
I feel you talk for talking sake or you're just ignorant.

The way you casually said send her to further her education as if I am her father shows how careless you are with resources as a man.

I rather marry her and ensure she is carrying at least 2 of my children before furthering her education.

I really don't like discussing this kind of issue but I'm poised to dive in a bit. You really have to marry someone u love, considering ur statement I've just realised that u're taking this decision for the sake of ur business, if tomorrow she fails to be accountable as u claim she is at the moment I'm sure it's gonna hit u bad. I'm way far older than my wife but I married her cos I so much love her not because she can support me in one way or the other. So bro, marry her if u love her and want her to be Ur wife not because she fit in to ur type of business. You can as well get married to another woman, put her through ur line of business and she performs better than this ur salesgirl. Think right man!!!

Words have meanings. Observing someone and grooming are NOT the same.

abbey621:
You want to marry her not because you love her but because she's good for your business......You've studied her so that means you've been showing interest before she turned 18, that's grooming!

Finally, grow some balls man! You don't need strangers to tell you what to do, deep inside you know your intentions, stop looking for validation or invalidation!

Can pay taxes, can register a business, can vote as to whom will be responsible for the lives of 200 million people, BUT NOT FULLY MATURE TO DECIDE THEIR OWN LIFE?

e make sense to you?

Kobicove:
That does not change the fact that she's still not fully mature

Go for it, just make inquiring of her genotype

Auxtan:
My salesgirl understands my business to the point I am considering to just make her my family.

I don't do an easy business and I am looking to scale, which means someone that understands this business is vital for that to happen and preferably a family member.

Now I am thinking of marrying her and also in the process leaving the relationship/dating market that is a distraction.

I don't have issues whatsoever with this my salesgirl in terms of character and even accountability, she's just perfect in those aspects, but my problem is her age.

Right now, I am just thinking of taking this decision of killing 2 birds with a stone might just be the best for me, one is settling down and two is marrying someone that understands my business.

Is a 29 year old man too big for an 18 year old girl? What's the general public perception of it?

PS: For the main time, I haven't made moves on her. But my interviews on her so far shows she's not looking to enter the high institution anytime soon (probably due to funds). But if I become comfortable with the age gap that is my major concern, I'd make moves on her and see if it will be possible. I'm trying to assess general views on marrying girls in their teen like her.

you are not yet a man enough waiting for public opinion before making a decision 29 years old for that matter I am totally speechless.

Okay.. I dun read...
Which business are you doing presicesly?

litaninja:
Oh. You no wan send am go school make e gather more intellect, but you wan make e use the acumen e get naturally run your business?

GTFOH

My son, as you journey through life, you will understand that nothing goes for nothing. And when your something goes for nothing is when you feel betrayed and angry. Always choose the safer route my son.

Kobojunkie:
He is telling you to groom a woman in the year 2025, and you are thanking him? You are basically signing yourself up for a life full of regret if you take that advice. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

There's a difference between grooming a woman for nothing and grooming your wife that will be actively responsible for bearing your children.

29 year old guy marrying an 18yrs i feel say una Neva wise reach. Not because of the age difference but because u'r just becoming matured and u want to settle with a teenage adult. Well I would have preferred 29/25. Or 32/22 still. 'Even you sef dey doubt yourself.'

litaninja:
Words have meanings. Observing someone and grooming are NOT the same.

What is the point of observing a young girl for wife qualities? Any girl below under 18 is considered a minor and observing her physical, mental and social attributes for the sole purpose of having a romantic relationship in the future is defined as GROOMING.....Educate yourself!

Auxtan:
➜There's a difference between grooming a woman for nothing and grooming your wife that will be actively responsible for bearing your children.

Are you for real? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Kobojunkie:
Oh, that definitely is going to happen, and OP will pretend it hit him like a bolt out of nowhere! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

LoLz. Some of these guys think all it takes is hooking them young or marrying a virgin.