₦airaland Forum

I stumbled on a song this evening titled turning page by sleeping at last and my mind went back to last year. I remembered Miracle ( not real name). My mind was flooded with emotions I could barely describe.

I have struggled with making a post about this but have always shrugged it off. I met Mira last year in the month of May. I own a firm and she happened to be a sales girl to another business in our office complex. The first day I saw her, something moved within me. Now some background here. I was once married but separated. I have a young son. I'm in my mid- forties. Doing very well for myself. Mira on the other hand, is in her early twenties and yet to go through a university. Before you crucify me, the heart will always love who it will.

For years, I have struggled with the inability of falling in love. It must have been over two decades since I last felt what love is, but I guessed Miracle changed that. For the first in a long while, I was human again. I felt that sweetness that only love could bring. I approached her and it took a while to convince her that I wasn't there for the cookie. Also worthy of note, I didn't touch her. Apart from some few stolen kisses, I was just content to bask in this new found feeling. Quite unlike me.

I took up a lot of her responsibilities. When her toxic boss was bent on frustrating her, I encouraged her to resign and I enrolled her In a skill acquisition program. Something she has always longed for. Now before you come with you simp story, let me quickly state that I'm a man's man. Everything I did, I did of my own volition. Like I kept telling her, even if she leaves, I won't regret whatever I did for her. Also, I have acquired a couple of assets and was very comfortable. What ever I did for her was just a pinch of what I was making but it was huge for her. I also took care of my siblings and mum too.

By December I had already started thinking marriage. I had mooted the idea to my mum and aunty and my poor mother was over the moon with joy. At this point, I know Mira may not really be in love with me considering the age difference, but I was willing to give her time, hoping that she would one day come to have a deeper feeling for me.

The moment I brooched the idea of marriage, things changed. She withdrew. I really didn't understand what was happening. By this time I was in my village and was about meeting a trusted uncle of mine to discuss the issue of going to get her then I started noticing a shift in attitude.

When I returned to town, I asked her to return so we could talk but she came and returned almost immediately without my knowledge citing that she was no more comfortable in her elder sister's house . While chatting with her one day, I noticed a strange message. The message said please leave my girlfriend alone. Almost immediately the message was deleted. Then a similar message popped and it was deleted. This continued a couple of time until I got angry and asked to find out what the fvcvked was going on. The person at the other end said he is Mira"s boyfriend and he told me Mira was the one deleting the message. At a point she gave up and allowed the guy to keep chatting. In anger I deleted her number.

It's been months now and I just discovered I still love her. I'm not angry. My friends keep wondering how I left all other ladies and fell madly in love with a small girl.

Now I'm back to that emotionless state. I have met beautiful ladies after then but nothing has moved me like she did. They get frustrated because it is so obvious that I don't feel much for them. Sometimes I wonder if this is how I will go through life. My fear is, will I ever find a woman that will evoke that deep feeling in me again? I'm worried.
What's your take.
Please be civil with your response.

Topbrass:
I stumbled on a song this evening titled turning page by sleeping at last and my mind went back to last year. I remembered Miracle ( not real name). My mind was flooded with emotions I could barely describe.

I have struggled with making a post about this but have always shrugged it off. I met Mira last year in the month of May. I own a firm and she happened to be a sales girl to another business in our office complex. The first day I saw her, something moved within me. Now some background here. I was once married but separated. I have a young son. I'm in my mid- forties. Doing very well for myself. Mira on the other hand, is in her early twenties and yet to go through a university. Before you crucify me, the heart will always love who it will.

For years, I have struggled with the inability of falling in love. It must have been over two decades since I last felt what love is, but I guessed Miracle changed that. For the first in a long while, I was human again. I felt that sweetness that only love could bring. I approached her and it took a while to convince her that I wasn't there for the cookie. Also worthy of note, I didn't touch her. Apart from some few stolen kisses, I was just content to bask in this new found feeling. Quite unlike me.

I took up a lot of her responsibilities. When her toxic boss was bent on frustrating her, I encouraged her to resign and I enrolled her In a skill acquisition program. Something she has always longed for. Now before you come with you simp story, let me quickly state that I'm a man's man. Everything I did, I did of my own volition. Like I kept telling her, even if she leaves, I won't regret whatever I did for her. Also, I have acquired a couple of assets and was very comfortable. What ever I did for her was just a pinch of what I was making but it was huge for her. I also took care of my siblings and mum too.

By December I had already started thinking marriage. I had mooted the idea to my mum and aunty and my poor mother was over the moon with joy. At this point, I know Mira may not really be in love with me considering the age difference, but I was willing to give her time, hoping that she would one day come to have a deeper feeling for me.

The moment I brooched the idea of marriage, things changed. She withdrew. I really didn't understand what was happening. By this time I was in my village and was about meeting a trusted uncle of mine to discuss the issue of going to get her then I started noticing a shift in attitude.

When I returned to town, I asked her to return so we could talk but she came and returned almost immediately without my knowledge citing that she was no more comfortable in her elder sister's house . While chatting with her one day, I noticed a strange message. The message said please leave my girlfriend alone. Almost immediately the message was deleted. Then a similar message popped and it was deleted. This continued a couple of time until I got angry and asked to find out what the fvcvked was going on. The person at the other end said he is Mira"s boyfriend and he told me Mira was the one deleting the message. At a point she gave up and allowed the guy to keep chatting. In anger I deleted her number.

It's been months now and I just discovered I still love her. I'm not angry. My friends keep wondering how I left all other ladies and fell madly in love with a small girl.

Now I'm back to that emotionless state. I have met beautiful ladies after then but nothing has moved me like she did. They get frustrated because it is so obvious that I don't feel much for them. Sometimes I wonder if this is how I will go through life. My fear is, will I ever find a woman that will evoke that deep feeling in me again? I'm worried.
What's your take.
Please be civil with your response.

You go dey aiight. Forget about love. Find one girl give belle. Don't waste your breath on looking for love. It is elusive in this generation. And please stop wasting your resources on a gen Z female.

Sugar daddy crying for his sugar baby... ... Where are the alpha males at?😂😂😂

That's how the senseless girls of this generation lose their husbands while getting deceived by small boys without directions in life. Nature favours that younger girls get married to men who are far older than them but this 'woke' generation would want you to believe otherwise. Our fathers and forefathers were far older than their wives, some with as much as 20-25years age difference. That way, they were able to build lasting marriages anchored on love and respects.

Op, watch that her so called boyfriend, he'll soon dump her and move on to the next gullible girl until the time he achieves financial stability and start searching for a younger girl to marry. This is how many girls without wisdom waste their time chasing 'wokeness' until the time when age is no longer on their parts. That's when they'll start going from one church to another and before you know it, they have turned bitter old women.

Wise girls with the right orientation marry far older but stable men who can take good care of them and their children while the ones lacking in wisdom waste their times in frivolities until it's too late.

Tenrack:
You go dey aiight. Forget about love. Find one girl give belle. Don't waste your breath on looking for love. It is elusive in this generation. And please stop wasting your resources on a gen Z female.

I quite agree with you on the last point

Are you aesthetically pleasing? I doubt a young woman in her 20s could find a man closer to his 50s than he is his 30s; sexually attractive if he hasn’t aged well.

Jman06:
That's how the senseless girls of this generation lose their husbands while getting deceived by small boys without directions in life. Nature favours that younger girls get married to men who are far older than them but this 'woke' generation would want you to believe otherwise. Our fathers and forefathers were far older than their wives, some with as much as 20-25years age difference. That way, they were able to build lasting marriages anchored on love and respects.

Op, watch that her so called boyfriend, he'll soon dump her and move on to the next gullible girl until the time he achieves financial stability and start searching for a younger girl to marry. This is how many girls without wisdom waste their time chasing 'wokeness' until the time when age is no longer on their parts. That's when they'll start going from one church to another and before you know it, they have turned bitter old women.

Wise girls with the right orientation marry far older but stable men who can take good care of them and their children while the ones lacking in wisdom waste their times in frivolities until it's too late.

This is spot on. As I knew, I actually mentioned this to her. Women are a funny kind though. So much experience from those ahead of them but yet they don't connect the dots
Well, I know somewhere down the road, she will look back and have a tinge of regret. She actually confessed she's never met a much nicer person than me. Thanks brother.

Brandiebird:
Are you aesthetically pleasing? I doubt a young woman in her 20s could find a man closer to his 50s than he is his 30s; sexually attractive if he hasn’t aged well.

Well, while I might not look like Chris brown or some other dashing Hollywood star, I'm
quite handsome, if I do say so myself. I'm very neat and dress very well too. Bottom line is that I got good taste everywhere even in my home decor

Topbrass:
Well, while I might not look like Chris brown or some other dashing Hollywood star, I'm
quite handsome, if I do say so myself. I'm very neat and dress very well too. Bottom line is that I got good taste everywhere even in my home decor

Are you 6ft tall with a 6 pack?

Brandiebird:
Are you 6ft tall with a 6 pack?

Read my previous reply to you. That will suffice.

As a guy man,I think you are still capable of loving ,but I will advice you truthfully.Try to forget the girl,she will waste your time. Most girls of that age dont want to get married yet,they need more time to make decisions which can take years.focus on ladies in 30's or 40's ..I had a pretty european girl who was 21,she got pregnant for me and I begged her to keep the pregnancy but she did not.most girls of that age dont need something that will take away their fun .they still want to explore.forget about her if not she will still waste more of your time

Aaaaarghmed:
As a guy man,I think you are still capable of loving ,but I will advice you truthfully.Try to forget the girl,she will waste your time. Most girls of that age dont want to get married yet,they need more time to make decisions which can take years.focus on ladies in 30's or 40's ..I had a pretty european girl who was 21,she got pregnant for me and I begged her to keep the pregnancy but she did not.most girls of that age dont need something that will take away their fun .they still want to explore.forget about her if not she will still waste more of your time

Very valid points. Tnx

My guy forget that banny and focus on other thing,better one go come,
But try love who love you

Hopefully, another “miracle” happens to warm up your cold heart, again.

I have to ignore other things to avoid writing a long note. I would only tell you this: once you understand human psychology, things would become much easier for you. Click on my moniker, it will take you to my profile and that book you see there is what you need.

It's not about being a "bad guy" but you have to understand how humans (in this case: women especially this generation) works. I already spotted plenty of mistakes. Many women especially those exposed to this woke version of "modernity" hate the idea of commitment.

Second, nice guys never finish first. She got bored. She's not ready for that "bored life" of husband and wife. She wants to "explore." She sensed the desperation and only 'tolerated' you because of what she got from you.

There's more... But I strongly recommend you read that book. I'm not asking anyone to use them to harm women but it is important to understand how things work.

SuperOnyi:





I have to ignore other things to avoid writing a long note. I would only tell you this: once you understand human psychology, things would become much easier for you. Click on my moniker, it will take you to my profile and that book you see there is what you need.

It's not about being a "bad guy" but you have to understand how humans (in this case: women especially this generation) works. I already spotted plenty of mistakes. Many women especially those exposed to this woke version of "modernity" hate the idea of commitment.

Second, nice guys never finish first. She got bored. She's not ready for that "bored life" of husband and wife. She wants to "explore." She sensed the desperation and only 'tolerated' you because of what she got from you.

There's more... But I strongly recommend you read that book. I'm not asking anyone to use them to harm women but it is important to understand how things work.

I clearly understood everything you wrote there. Let me point out I wasn't short on ladies. I do have a bevvy of beautiful ladies. The only thing different from the person I shared in this story is that I was shocked to discover I had a deep motional connection with her, almost borderline love.

It has never happened in years-I mean years. The last time I felt something close to this was in 2003! Though that one was stronger. After then, it was just coasting from one relationship to another without any deep emotional connection from my end. I guess that's why I let my guards down. I wanted to wife this one after quite a long drought.

I was happy though. It means I am capable of loving a woman. I was becoming worried.
I can be the perfect mate but deep down within me, it's all acting or make-believe. the emotions never runs deep. Nowadays I don't even have time to pretend about it anymore. it's quite exhausting.
Anyway, tnx.

I guess I'm using this post to psycho-analyse myself.

You should be thinking of how to go and sort out issues with your separated wife, rather than finding y0ung girls t0 dump ur baggages on.

It is usually p0verty that makes young girls marry oldies, only p0verty. Among my siblings and friends, I don't have any who married a man old enough to be her father.

Miracle is very honest, some ladies would have married you, then still keep young boyfriend's by the side.

Brandiebird:
Are you aesthetically pleasing? I doubt a young woman in her 20s could find a man closer to his 50s than he is his 30s; sexually attractive if he hasn’t aged well.

Regina Daniel did that and many other young girls have been doing same. When Regina Daniel got married to Ned, ignorant folks were castigating her but I think that was the best decision of her life and her mother; having experienced life and marriage better, advised her rightly to marry Ned.

Wise girls look out for men who can take good care of them and their offsprings and that category of men fall within the age range of 40s and 50s. Such men have experienced life enough and would be more gentle with her, love her more and providing for her would naturally flow as the man would not hesitate to take very good care of her. It is easier and better for a man to spend on and provide for a much younger girl than a woman in his age range. For me, I'll see women in my age range the way I see guys and providing for such women would be like providing for a competitor or a fellow man.

LilMissFavvy:
You should be thinking of how to go and sort out issues with your separated wife, rather than finding y0ung girls t0 dump ur baggages on.

It is usually p0verty that makes young girls marry oldies, only p0verty. Among my siblings and friends, I don't have any who married a man old enough to be her father.

Miracle is very honest, some ladies would have married you, then still keep young boyfriend's by the side.

You speak like a child. Obviously you are one, so I will move. This is conversation for mature minds

You're not in love with Mira and she's certainly not in love with you. At best, she's grateful for what you've done for her and her family. At best.

What you're feeling is Limerence. Last time you felt like that was when you were young. And it feels wonderful and you've put Mira on a pedestal, she's this beautiful untouched angel in your mind... Because there's something in her that triggered that emotion in you. You feel the need to protect her and steal kisses, just like a teenage boy feels.

But it's not love and unfortunately Limerence can last at most 3 years. It may end up as love but most times it doesn't.

So ask yourself "what exactly was it about her I liked so much?". And then go find it in a more calmer matured way.

And I will say something a poster said earlier: go talk to your ex-wife. I know this is crazy but I assure you, there's a huge chance that wetin you dey look for in Sokoto, dey your shokoto.

(An old song lyric, that last line).

There's an empty-ness inside you that you're struggling to fill up with the wrong things and the wrong people. And only one being can fill it up: our Lord.

(Before you write me off, please go through my posts and decide for yourself if you'd like to keep talking. I understand well what you're going through).

Topbrass:
This is spot on. As I knew, I actually mentioned this to her. Women are a funny kind though. So much experience from those ahead of them but yet they don't connect the dots
Well, I know somewhere down the road, she will look back and have a tinge of regret. She actually confessed she's never met a much nicer person than me. Thanks brother.

She doesn't love you.

She's very clear about that. You're like an Uncle to her (ouch) and this is Nigeria, older men stealing kisses in exchange for favours is nothing new. Worse, her mum is probably encouraging it because you're a Poverty Alleviation program to her and her family.

She won't regret you, she will one day talk about that nice and generous Uncle who sponsored her but she won't regret you the same way she will regret a 30 yr old banker guy she dated.

Our Father in Heaven is rolling His eyes at you and your arrogance and conceit thinking you're the best thing since sliced bread.

Dude, you're pushing 50, your peni.s is slowing down, your knees are buckling, you have a back that hurts you once in a while, you'd rather be asleep at 12 midnight than in a bar, you can't tell the difference between Darkoo and Victony and you're a few years away from your first cholesterol medication being prescribed.

I'm being harsh but we really need to be honest here.

2 weeks ago, I met a young woman (a baddie) at the airport and as we were chatting, a man in his 30s stopped us and pulled her aside to hit on her. And I had to laugh. Because that is the first time in my life that has ever happened (20 years ago, I was winning awards for Most Sought After Female in the most popular uni in Nigeria ). Now, I'm still pretty but men's eyes are drawn to the hottie beside me.

And that's life and I can talk about "OMG they're missing out on my experience!" Or I can be real with myself (don't worry I have 60 year olds who act like lecherous Uncles to me ).

She's not your wife. You're not her husband. But we can talk about this and I think you'll find your woman.