₦airaland Forum

Nnamdipapa:
This is because society has created this wrong narrative that a man or woman is not complete until they are married and, marriage has been termed as "settling down". Also, society and religion have also created the wrong notion that marriage is mandatory and make it feel something is wrong with an adult who delays marriage or not willing to marry. They claim it is wrong to have kids outside of marriage. This is 2025, the age of information and people are fast realizing the above narratives are false on all accounts.

Your narrative is wrong... Imagine been raised by a single mother.

Biology is nature at work and you cant defeat it.

The problem with marriage is culture, tradition and rules. Remove these three things, you will see like minds cohabit peacefully with each other. Goto university hostels... Some people are living happily with themselves like husband and wife but immediately society is informed, problem starts.

There is a reason why poor people last in marriage than rich and enlightened people. Funny thing is you see the poor man and his miserable wife having 7 to 9 kids in peace. That's the level of connection they have with constant intimacy... The only problem those kind of people have is food. Not gender equality or any nonsense. Imagine if economy is good and they feed well, they will likely have a happier home than most elites.

Human beings should emulate animals... Simple and short.

Urgent1Million:
People say things according to their experience.
Planes crash but people still fly.
Cars crash but people still drive them.
People suffer food poisoning but people still eat food.
There are so many good things about marriage, allegedly.
Don't take my word for it.
Get married and find out yourself.

FYI, I am not married and not planning to.

Amazing input 👍
Yet you declare you are not a fan of marriage ..

Finding out oneself is the best ever 👍

Tayorshd87:
Amazing input 👍
Yet you declare you are not a fan of marriage ..

Finding out oneself is the best ever 👍

😂😂😂😂😂😂
Well...
I'll rather hear stories than tell my own.
I may marry later in life when I won't give a f*** whatever she does and it'll be a woman way past menopause.
I don't have the time for DNAs and all the drama that may come with it.

Urgent1Million:
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Well...
I'll rather hear stories than tell my own.
I may marry later in life when I won't give a f*** whatever she does and it'll be a woman way past menopause.
I don't have the time for DNAs and all the drama that may come with it.

Funny you but don't forget to give birth even if you are not getting married someday 😊

Tayorshd87:
my brother I was wondering that too until I got married hmmm

Please get to the stage before you will tell your own observation...

Marriage no be beans 🫘


Even the Peter in the Bible claim married people have more problems that's why he didn't marry.

So you must be prepared for it

The apostle Peter was actually married. Jesus healed his mother-in-law. Only married people have in-laws. Read: Matthew 8:14-15. Or do you mean to say Apostle Paul?

People talk bad about marriages because of either what they have seen or what they have personally experienced. Have you been married to a narcissist? You won’t ask this question if it happened to you.

There is a good reason why Romance is on a separate section from Family on Nairaland.

cutecommend:
➜If you ask a couple today about marriage, you may hear things like: "Marriage needs patience, It is not easy ooh, you really have to endure, men are something else, women are bla bla bla". Maybe we should start or keep hearing things like, marriage is so sweet, you will really enjoy it, it makes life beautiful e.t.c

But this was the same rhetoric that was fashioned against your ancestors and those before you who now realize it marriage for what it really is, an institution that is not in itself sweet, enjoyable and beautiful but can only be made so if the individuals in it are both willing to make it so? 🥱🥱🥱

Why suggest a repeat of the foolishness of the past as the only solution to the problems created by it?

Instance:
....That being said pray to marry the right person.

This is another grand lie that religion/tradition has loaded the brains of individuals with... this notion that people have to pray to marry the right person. A majority of those who did ended up regretting it. Why? Because, in the end, they realized that by closing their eyes to pray, they missed spotting the many red flags before them with their eyes. And this is particularly true for the religious women who mostly end up asserting that suffering is their god-given lot in marriage.

Talkisneeded:
➜Because you need to get married to see the truth about marriage…
➜But again,what’s life without proper bedmatics skills seff,I’m here to solve all your woes

. It is foolishness to reason that way.

2. Bedmatics does not take place only in marriage.

Honestly, I'm enjoying my marriage. They are currently on holidays and I feel like staying all day with them at home.

Because marriages have rules, conditions and restrictions. It is a contract to the government and a societal contract to the society . Many people do not really know terms and conditions before they sign or go into it . So many people hate the restrictions and miss when they were free from those contractual obligations .

In any contract , parties can either work hard to honor the terms or one person or both will decide to break the contract .

However , the truth is that there are marriages that work and are working well . They are just quiet about it .

Experience they say is best teacher.. enter am first

Nazgul:
➜But they're telling the truth, or do you want them to lie? How many couples can come out openly and tell you that their union was made in heaven?
➜Most of them are just managing and tolerating each other.

You mean instead how many couples can come out to tell us that their union was not made in heaven, right?

2. And from experience, those are the ones that ramble on the most about how many is so good and heavenly too. I just watched a clip about a cheating pastor who has been separated for months from his wife, yet they both continue to keep up appearances of a lovely home and marriage to keep the church congregation deceived and deluded. 🥱🥱🥱
https://youtube.com/shorts/RGcqG-FoaOQ?si=Nk9fa0WQLfKxIXN5

DrAda:
➜I am glad to see that this generation is finally speaking openly about what marriage truly is and it’s certainly not fairy tales.
Personally, I believe that marriage should be taught as a formal subject in schools. Without early education, how can we expect young women who have grown up all their lives seeing themselves as equals to their male peers to suddenly adopt a secondary role simply because they are married? That expectation is neither natural nor fair.
Likewise, it is unrealistic to assume a marriage is an equal partnership when one partner, most likely the males, shoulders all the responsibilities.
➜Marriage should not be about hierarchy, it should be about partnership, shared growth, and balanced contirbutions. Preparing the next generation to understand this truth in a formal setting is not just wise, it’s necessary.

Does the male shoulder all the responsibilities? You say this assuming that making money is the only responsibility that exists in a marriage, right?

2. A marriage partnership would entail having the male also sharing in all of the duties/responsibilities formally relegated to the female which you don't seem to consider of note. Why?

sofeo:
Because they lack the good knowledge about the goodness and blessings in marriage and how to unluck them.

Nonsense and eegridient! 🙄🙄🙄

ALL BECAUSE THEY ARE UNGODLY.

FOR GOD CREATED US IN HIS OWN IMAGE, AND HAS MARRIAGE AS THE ONLY INSTITUTION HE, ALMIGHTY GOD - OLODUMARE, THE INFINITE, MOST MARVELLOUS, IMMORTAL, INVISIBLE, GOD ONLY WISE, ALLMIGHTY VICTORIOUS, THE ANCIENT OF DAYS - CREATED, ENDOWED AND ENABLED. All other institutions on earth are creations of man.

And part of His Holinees he created us with is marriage. So if anyone is unmarried, he or, she is unholy and unfulfilling in the glory of God. That is apart from the social, physical, and spiritual losses that unmarried people suffer; especially untimely death, and short lives.

elasticlala:
➜Seems you prefer to hear lies than the truth. Marriage has sent many people to early grave

Technically, marriage did not do it to them. Rather, the person they chose to be in marriage with helped quicken their demise.

gudugudumeje:
➜AL BECAUSE THEY ARE UNGODLY. FOR GOD CREATED US IN HIS OWN IMAGE, AND HAS MARRIAGE AS THE ONLY INSTITUTION HE, ALMIGHTY - OLODUMARE, THE INFINITE, MOST MARVELLOUS, IMMORTAL, INVISIBLE, GOD ONLY, ALLMIGHTY VICTORIOS, THE ANVIENT OF DAYS - CREATED. All other institutions on earth are created by man.
➜ And part of His Holinees he created us with is marriage. So if anyone is unmarried, he or, she is unholy and unfulfilling in the glory of God. That is apart from the social, physical, and spiritual losses that unmarried people suffer; especially untimely death, and short lives.

Nonsense and eegridient! 🙄🙄🙄

2. What sort of hogwash be dis? 🥱

You will have what you want. Some are enjoying their marriage while some are not. Marriage is enjoyable. The way you lay your bed is the way you lie on it. You are what you think in life. Think positively to attract positive vibes.

cutecommend:
If you ask a couple today about marriage, you may hear things like: "Marriage needs patience, It is not easy ooh, you really have to endure, men are something else, women are bla bla bla".
Maybe we should start or keep hearing things like, marriage is so sweet, you will really enjoy it, it makes life beautiful e.t.c

That’s the truth. Not always sweet cos 2 people moulded with different perspectives for at least 20yrs in their respective families are trying to live together

dododawa1:
➜marriage require two things to stable for long. PATIENT and MONEY

I disagree... marriage instead requires two fully mature individuals who respect and love each other equally.

Marriage...hmm a social construct waiting for your definition. When you get in you'll have your own definition. Stop listening to people's definition, form your.

Marriage is what you make of it

Anybody could say whatever they want or view about marriage.

My verdict is that; I know who I mirror when it comes to marriage (My Parents), they did well to make their marriage work, and my parents been my role model, my own marriage will work too by God's grace.

Creditalerts:
Marriage is bondage women benefits the most be wise guys 😢 Give her belle and let her be your baby mama is d best both of you will work hard and train d child 💯✌🏾

And if babymama wey you trap with your baby, turns around and abandons the child on you to raise, you go still cry foul say women dey benefit the most, abi?

fineboynl:
➜Most women married because of the benefits of the unions. But if we most tell ourselves the truth you will understand most men are not happy
Majority of men are just managing it because of children and fear of old age that may never come. Some people just like having kids even is poverty while others fear it because of unknown.
It’s better when a man have enough resources as they can overlook everything and use side chick to calm themselves and forget all the marriage problem

Why manage it when, like FFK, they can get a divorce and claim full custody of the children and their freedom?

Many don't know why they do it. They sometimes think it would solve their problems.

Marry only when you are mentally ready to be with another person in a committed union.

1. People raised from home where there was no love will talk bad about marriage
2. Those that have failed marriages will tell u bad things only about marriages just to cover up their failures.
3. Those that desire to get married but unfortunately, no man is coming for them will tell horrible things about marriages.
4. Some of those that made mistake to get children out of wedlock and that has made them not favourable for marriage, will tell you marriage is not an achievement.
5. Evening papers will never say good things about marriage. At night they will be crying wanting a man of her own. In the day she will act like nothing dey happen.

occfx:
Your narrative is wrong... Imagine been raised by a single mother.

Biology is nature at work and you cant defeat it.

The problem with marriage is culture, tradition and rules. Remove these three things, you will see like minds cohabit peacefully with each other. Goto university hostels... Some people are living happily with themselves like husband and wife but immediately society is informed, problem starts.

There is a reason why poor people last in marriage than rich and enlightened people. Funny thing is you see the poor man and his miserable wife having 7 to 9 kids in peace. That's the level of connection they have with constant intimacy... The only problem those kind of people have is food. Not gender equality or any nonsense. Imagine if economy is good and they feed well, they will likely have a happier home than most elites.

Human beings should emulate animals... Simple and short.

can you break this down you said may be with example or case study. How do you mean culture, tradition and rules is the issue affecting marriage.

Roycemadeit:
People have been made to believe marriage is some divine decree, written in the stars or sealed by the heavens. It is not. Marriage is simply people deciding to live together under a shared agreement. That’s all. No cosmic stamp. No eternal law. Just an arrangement that humans created.

But over time, it was dressed in rules, rituals, and pressures—until refusing to marry became a mark of shame. Many now enter marriage without knowing themselves, without even asking whether they can coexist with anyone long-term. And yet, we keep pretending it’s the natural order of things.

[color=#9900ab]Marriage may help build pockets of society, but it does not, on its own, raise children. A community raises children. A society raises children. Marriage has merely been inflated into a badge of responsibility, so that avoiding it makes you “irresponsible.” That is a lie we have swallowed for generations.[/color]

[color=#6B3000]You must ask yourself—do I actually want to marry, or am I just ticking a box the culture handed me? Age, money, tradition—none of these are reasons. Marriage is not compulsory. It is not sacred. It is not divine. It is human—fragile, flawed, and entirely optional.[/color]

you are a rare gem🙂🙂🙂

gerizzim:
➜can you break this down you said may be with example or case study. How do you mean culture, tradition and rules is the issue affecting marriage.

Add religion to the list as well. Marriage is meant to be a contract agreement between two individuals — no third parties weighing in.