₦airaland Forum

Beremx:
It depends on when the food was served. If the wife serves him, she should be the one or the kids to take the plates to the kitchen. If he eats in her absence, well he or the kids should take the plates to the kitchen.

My son takes his father's plates to the kitchen if I'm not readily available. Sometimes he does it himself.

This is actually not a big deal because it takes nothing away from me to take my plate to the kitchen after eating, infact i learn to say: "thank you" to my wife after eating and it changes nothing.

tanigororo:
First Time your comments is partially reasonable.
When he was single he clears his own plate, cook his own food.
It's not brainwash or stupidity for her to clear the plate, it's willingness and submission. it doesn't matter who clears the table, washes the dishes, or cook.

This logic of when he was single doesn't holds water at all. Preferably whatever works for the family should suffice. Let's say she was feeding herself when she was single or her father was providing for her so she or the father should still continue to do that after marriage?

missionmex:
This logic of when he was single doesn't holds water at all. Preferably whatever works for the family should suffice. Let's say she was feeding herself when she was single or her father was providing for her so she or the father should still continue to do that after marriage?

You are absolutely right, with that.
My own view is that you can still do it as a Man not a biggie

Chilipepper:
Should a married man take his plate to the kitchen after eating?:Lady asks

I see nothing wrong there

Konquest:
If he's alone YES... If NOT and he's with his family, the order of family heirachy in an African family dictates that the kids, house maid, or wife (or wives), do that.

There's NOTHING wrong in a married man taking his plates to the kitchen for washing if nobody is around or his wife is indisposed. Period.

I agree with your comment, what I will adjust here is that the order is delegated by the mother to the children as part of home training. It's not that fathers cannot wash themselves but making sure kids do it is teaching them. People think the woman will cook 24/7. Are people here saying when she's in labor for example, she will serve and wash plates?


If they released this advert in the photo today, they will protest it as being misogynistic. Our mothers then get sense of how to deal with men but modern women said they want equal right in the house. They did not understand the little things to manage their home that will make the husband head swell after he has gone to work and come back. They even say it's why the men cannot wash. They don't realize that the serving of food is a ritual but let's continue being modern, make man and woman de wear head of house trouser.

Una go find out sooner or later. Men abroad are now looking for traditional women. Ask them what traditional women are. I just leave these kind of discussions for very soon, you will find out. Your old people get wisdom in some things they did but don't worry, them no sabi

Marriage is not for every women.
If you can't be your husband's subject, it's advisable to stay single.
Every men love a woman who's submissive.
It's the duty of a wife to clear and clean dinning table after every meal, that's no big deal.

Kobojunkie:
Excuse you? 😏😏

No human can force another human being in a literal relationship to do what he/she has not in fact purposed to do. A husband who pretends to be a god over his woman in marriage does so because it is what appeals to him too. Stop with the useless blame shifting, abeg!

This one is really pained. sorry oo... Your mentor Toke makiwa has left you behind, she is now hopelessly romantic. So what is your own now.

JovialJune:
Lord, the ridiculous questions asked about marriages ehn, this question shouldn't be asked in the first place cos a man doesn't become handicap because a woman is in the house, basic human etiquette is to be observed by both genders.

good. And a woman don't become broke because she has a man in the house.

Lekan239:
when he was single he do served himself food too right?

Your point is what then?

it all boils down to the kind of person you are married to, how the person grew up seeing it from his home before marriage.

Even at that, some use to see their mum always pack the plates from the table but when they get married they bring their own principle and refuse to clear the plate the husbnd use to eat in their home when married.

The bottom line is whatever rock your boat and the boat doesn't sink, then hold on to it.

we all know women to be funny at times. when you keep doing it consistently, she wil assume it to be ur duty.

You may be late for work and forget to pack the plate. some funny wife's dt have a polluted audacity dt may even call you at wrk on the fone to ask you dt why didn't you clear the table before leaving the huz .

Wateva chores you no fit dey do regularly or sustain as a man, don't start it. The day you try to stop am, Na wahala. If the woman is the one doin it. Leave it for her to keep doing it.

you go dey help the home by going to the mkt to buy food items wc in most homes, the wife does dat. the day you tell wife say make she go, she go squeeze face say you should go.

or you are the one doing the cooking most of the time, the day you decide to stop, she gets irritated and say it is your duty.


The husband can do it once in a while but with moderation.

There is no one rule that works for everyone in his or her marriage.

If there is third party with you maybe a visitor or someone from outside it's somehow for the man to carry the plate himself to the kitchen because we have that culture in Nigeria. But if there is no visitor it's not a big deal for me to carry my plates myself to the kitchen. Most times i do carry my wife's plate to the kitchen with my own. And she does the same thing even more than I do. The men must remove that ancient mentality of our forefathers and the Pastors or Imams must not be too spiritual and turn it to something that will be forced on their wife or expected from them. Always remember that the woman or the wife is not your slave she is your help meet.

Kobojunkie:
When he was single, who took his plate to the kitchen? That should be the same person that takes his plate to the kitchen even in marriage, unless his wife decided in marriage to elevate him to god status. And this elevation to god status for men is typical among the religious/traditionally brainwashed women.

Everyone is brainwashed by something, everything you currently believe was somehow imposed, you weren't born with any idiology.
The religious and traditionally brainwashed women are suffering from the same problem as you. So stick to your beliefs.

With what life is to you currently, I'm sure you will wish some of what those women has.
And if we had access to your personal life right now, I doubt if it will not be full of proofs that your belief has helped you either

Look at the mindsets of some women and some of these weak-ass men... And you'll see why y'all are still single or in unhappy situation-ships

achorladey:
Sometimes they joke about it not knowing they are bent on it.

You are right actually. That's a very expensive joke. I wash my hands like Pontus Pilate that I never meet such men.

folake4u:
You are right actually. That's a very expensive joke. I wash my hands like Pontus Pilate that I never meet such men.

Looooool!

omolola12345:
➜If there is third party with you maybe a visitor or someone from outside it's somehow for the man to carry the plate himself to the kitchen because we have that culture in Nigeria. But if there is no visitor it's not a big deal for me to carry my plates myself to the kitchen. Most times i do carry my wife's plate to the kitchen with my own. And she does the same thing even more than I do. The men must remove that ancient mentality of our forefathers and the Pastors or Imams must not be too spiritual and turn it to something that will be forced on their wife or expected from them. Always remember that the woman or the wife is not your slave she is your help meet.

Na Fake life be your own? Go on then!

phemray:
Why then the woman need to marry a man? She should stay alone and allow men to rest and go to kitchen by self. I can't be spending on you and still be doing your known job you are trained of from cradle.
This generation ladies are very lazy and don't know how to cook reason they wanted men do Thier job.

@bold:

Means the moment she can spend on herself, you are no longer useful; no?

Sammy5413:
From the comments I read here, all those saying the man should take the plate to the kitchen are insane and lacks discipline. During the time of our parents, the mother makes the meals, serves her husband and clears the plates when the husband is done eating. I sha blame some men who say they send the plates to the kitchen themselves after eating, they actually don't know who they actually represent in their homes. After God, you as a man you're next and don't let anyone fool and trick you into seeing less of yourself. This is exactly what these GenZ girls of these days want to turn you into. If you must pack the plate to the kitchen, it must be out of support not MANDATORY just as a man can still help his wife in washing dishes, cooking and washing clothes as well but not as a MANDATE!!!

Shebi the man is after God abi?

Jesus, who is God Himself, cooked and washed His disciples' legs as an example of service so they can serve others in their care.

Some women dey marry sha!

Hellisreal70:
From the comments, I can see the reasons why some ladies finds it so hard to see a man to marry them.
Out of wokeness and feminism, they have turned themselves to unmarriageable. Yet they will still need to humble themselves just to get sperm to become baby mama.

Culturally, biblically and even socially the roles of man and woman are outlined in marriage. And each know their roles.

Where in the Bible was it stated that a wife MUST pack her husband's plates?

ambale:
See rich men na dem dey do am pass sef

Every little chance to act like a normal human being, them no dey dull am ooo

Cos their status don make them dey out of reach totally

You get it!

bukatyne:
@bold:

Means the moment she can spend on herself, you are no longer useful; no?

She will be on her own as a man. Simple

bukatyne:
Shebi the man is after God abi?

Jesus, who is God Himself, cooked and washed His disciples' legs as an example of service so they can serve others in their care.

Some women dey marry sha!

yes you're right! And I wonder if you're among God's creation cos people created by God do have brain 🧠

philexcel:
You are definitely very comfortable financially the way you sound.... Shey me for my room and parlor self contain go dey look for who go carry plates for me...... God time to elevate me to next level....

It does not matter my brother. Enjoy your life irrespective of your financial status. Our bills are so high that sometimes one wishes to live minimally, the most important thing is to be happy.

descarado:
See kweshion.
Well, oga specifically told me during courtship. No serve me. You aren't my maid but going to be my better half.
Don't even know how long we have been married and I have never washed his plates. I don’t dish out food for him. Anybody who is washing at that moment can wash all. And you must thank the person for doing that for you. Be it the kids. As for dishing out food,nobody dishes out food for anybody in this house. If you want to finish the whole pot, na you sabi. There is always an alternative.

We make marriages so hard with some unrealistic expectations that the moment we don't do them anymore,westart seeing cracks and we wonder why.
I have mentioned it severally,whether hands or machine, I do not wash his clothes. He wash and sort them out. It is a union. Partnership. I no be anybody slave. The day I feel like making speciality, I do. Nobody pressures me. If you come and there is no food, both you and the kids know what to do. You even make and give me.

You have said it all at the bolded. Nigerians make marriages so hard with so many do's and don'ts that you begin to wonder whether you are getting married or going to prison.