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The Divorce Is Not The Best Option - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralFamilyThe Divorce Is Not The Best Option (1796 Views)

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The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by bigpaul84(op): 12:24am On Aug 16, 2025
‎In our modern society divorce is the order of the day in every family or marriage where there is little crisis. The Bible made us to understand that God hates divorce (Malachi   2:16)   For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously. Why then do we derived pleasure in doing what God hate?
‎Marriage is not free of crisis but divorce is certainly not the best option. In fact, it's the last option.
‎When you are having crisis in your home look for the best way to resolve the issues. As couple seat down together and iron out the issue..
‎Instead of divorce, separation is better (1 Corinthians   7:10)   And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husbandsad1 Corinthians   7:11)   But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. The whole essence of the separation is that maybe the couple might realize their mistakes and reconcile their differences and come together.
‎In divorce the innocent children is at the receiving ends. They will suffer for what they nothing about and lack parental love and affection.
‎ God bless you.
‎You can call for counseling
‎08064616153.
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by Kobojunkie:
bigpaul84:
➜ ‎In our modern society divorce is the order of the day in every family or marriage where there is little crisis. The Bible made us to understand that God hates divorce (Malachi   2:16)   For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously. Why then do we derived pleasure in doing what God hate?
‎Marriage is not free of crisis but divorce is certainly not the best option. In fact, it's the last option. ‎When you are having crisis in your home look for the best way to resolve the issues. As couple seat down together and iron out the issue..
‎Instead of divorce, separation is better (1 Corinthians   7:10)   And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husbandsad1 Corinthians   7:11)   But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. The whole essence of the separation is that maybe the couple might realize their mistakes and reconcile their differences and come together.
‎In divorce the innocent children is at the receiving ends. They will suffer for what they nothing about and lack parental love and affection.
‎ God bless you.
Divorce is a form of crisis resolution. Stop using your religious nonsense to turn marriage into a prison for those you wish to remain manipulated. undecided
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by dollytino4real(f): 12:56am On Aug 16, 2025
I don tire for my own marriage but folo because no money to rent house is wat is caging me in like tortoise 🐢 inside shell. My own anytime i try to explain to him, that man ego will just scatter the conversation. Money money money money money only 250k
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by Tallesty1(m): 7:11am On Aug 16, 2025
dollytino4real:
I don tire for my own marriage but folo because no money to rent house is wat is caging me in like tortoise 🐢 inside shell. My own anytime i try to explain to him, that man ego will just scatter the conversation. Money money money money money only 250k
I feel really bad for your husband.


It's just so sad
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by pocohantas(f): 7:57am On Aug 16, 2025
Tallesty1:
I feel really bad for your husband.
It's just so sad
Her husband is one out of many.
Sadly...
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by Samantha125(f): 8:48am On Aug 16, 2025
Don't you have a family house to go to?
dollytino4real:
I don tire for my own marriage but folo because no money to rent house is wat is caging me in like tortoise 🐢 inside shell. My own anytime i try to explain to him, that man ego will just scatter the conversation. Money money money money money only 250k
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by Onegai(f): 9:04am On Aug 16, 2025
dollytino4real:
I don tire for my own marriage but folo because no money to rent house is wat is caging me in like tortoise 🐢 inside shell. My own anytime i try to explain to him, that man ego will just scatter the conversation. Money money money money money only 250k
Don't give up, don't let the devil win.

The way you feel, your husband feels the same way. So you both need healing, forgiveness and renewal.

Your heart feels hardened towards him and his heart is hardened towards you, but it doesn't need to be so. Can we please start with just some prayer? Ask God to come inside and give you peace and forgiveness, and to show you your husband's heart the way God sees him. And then at the end of your prayer, speak out " [your husband's name], I love you. I forgive you, please forgive me too". You are not telling him that o, you're speaking it into the spiritual.

When you pray for someone, you stop hating them. And it takes 3 to destroy a marriage, you and your husband and a rascal in hell; but it takes 2 to fix a marriage...and one of those 2 needed to fix it has power over Life and Death and the other person is you smiley.
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by Therock5555(m): 10:19am On Aug 16, 2025
dollytino4real:
I don tire for my own marriage but folo because no money to rent house is wat is caging me in like tortoise 🐢 inside shell. My own anytime i try to explain to him, that man ego will just scatter the conversation. Money money money money money only 250k
If you don't have enough money to get your own house, you should actually be glad that you have someone putting a roof over your head.

See positive things in your marriage and try to work towards it...
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by Houseofglam7(f): 11:55am On Aug 16, 2025
So….if there’s a case of domestic violence on either side, the man/woman should stay put until he/she dieshuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuh?
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by Kobojunkie: 12:37pm On Aug 16, 2025
Houseofglam7:
So….if there’s a case of domestic violence on either side, the man/woman should stay put until he/she dieshuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuh?
Osinachi was a martyr as far as religious women are concerned. She has found the ultimate peace and forgiveness and that is more than any married woman can ask for, as some religious folks would say. 🥱🥱🥱
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by bigpaul84(op): 4:09pm On Aug 16, 2025
Not every crisis in marriage use divorce to settle.
From you write up I understand that you are not mature yet, so their is not point in going into detail with you.
Kobojunkie:
Divorce is a form of crisis resolution. Stop using your religious nonsense to turn marriage into a prison for those you wish to remain manipulated. undecided
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by bigpaul84(op): 4:12pm On Aug 16, 2025
What is really the issue with him?
dollytino4real:
I don tire for my own marriage but folo because no money to rent house is wat is caging me in like tortoise 🐢 inside shell. My own anytime i try to explain to him, that man ego will just scatter the conversation. Money money money money money only 250k
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by bigpaul84(op): 4:16pm On Aug 16, 2025
No na. I am not in support of domestic violence in marriage. I always encourage Ladies to leave when there is abuse but what I am trying to say is that you can separate from the man or woman and see if see if there will be changes.
Houseofglam7:
So….if there’s a case of domestic violence on either side, the man/woman should stay put until he/she dieshuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuh?
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by dollytino4real(f): 5:56pm On Aug 16, 2025
bigpaul84:
What is really the issue with him?
non challant and ungratefulness to crown it all e does not know God
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by dollytino4real(f): 5:58pm On Aug 16, 2025
Therock5555:
If you don't have enough money to get your own house, you should actually be glad that you have someone putting a roof over your head.

See positive things in your marriage and try to work towards it...
yes o! That is my saving grace and appreciation to God
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by dollytino4real(f): 5:59pm On Aug 16, 2025
Onegai:
Don't give up, don't let the devil win.

The way you feel, your husband feels the same way. So you both need healing, forgiveness and renewal.

Your heart feels hardened towards him and his heart is hardened towards you, but it doesn't need to be so. Can we please start with just some prayer? Ask God to come inside and give you peace and forgiveness, and to show you your husband's heart the way God sees him. And then at the end of your prayer, speak out " [your husband's name], I love you. I forgive you, please forgive me too". You are not telling him that o, you're speaking it into the spiritual.

When you pray for someone, you stop hating them. And it takes 3 to destroy a marriage, you and your husband and a rascal in hell; but it takes 2 to fix a marriage...and one of those 2 needed to fix it has power over Life and Death and the other person is you smiley.
yes o that hardness is from him and it is really affecting me seriously
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by dollytino4real(f): 6:01pm On Aug 16, 2025
Samantha125:
Don't you have a family house to go to?
yes o, we have in delta and rivers here but i don't want to stay there,
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by Therock5555(m): 6:09pm On Aug 16, 2025
dollytino4real:
yes o! That is my saving grace and appreciation to God
The Lord is your strength.

Stay safe Mama...
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by Kobojunkie: 8:34pm On Aug 16, 2025
bigpaul84:
No na. I am not in support of domestic violence in marriage. I always encourage Ladies to leave when there is abuse but what I am trying to say is that you can separate from the man or woman and see if see if there will be changes.
She should separate from him and then wait to see if her abuser will change? That sounds like the same set of shackles that was used to shackle women for so long to men who cheat on them. I recall many of our grandmothers waited most of their lives for their adulterous husband's/abusers to change. Of course, that never did happen for the vast majority. And now the same weapon is still being fashioned against their daughters and granddaughters. While during the same period, religion has turned a blind eye to men divorcing/abandoning their wives. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by Onegai(f): 9:15pm On Aug 16, 2025
dollytino4real:
yes o that hardness is from him and it is really affecting me seriously
Poor baby. A hardened heart is no easy thing.

Let's start by fixing you first: let's do the work there and leave him to God. If your man decides he wants to cosplay as Pharoah and remained hardened, well that's up to him and His Maker (and there will be judgement for it).

You ready to work with me?

Oya, please go through all my recent posts. You'll see some advice. It will be hard, but you got God and the Holy Spirit on your side and they've NEVER lost a battle, no sir, not today, not ever.
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by dollytino4real(f): 9:35pm On Aug 16, 2025
Onegai:
Poor baby. A hardened heart is no easy thing.

Let's start by fixing you first: let's do the work there and leave him to God. If your man decides he wants to cosplay as Pharoah and remained hardened, well that's up to him and His Maker (and there will be judgement for it).

You ready to work with me?

Oya, please go through all my recent posts. You'll see some advice. It will be hard, but you got God and the Holy Spirit on your side and they've NEVER lost a battle, no sir, not today, not ever.
yes, am willing to work with u.
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by Tallesty1(m): 10:51pm On Aug 16, 2025
pocohantas:
Her husband is one out of many.
Sadly...
A lot of people are married to their enemies.


God abeg
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by Suicideboy: 2:37am On Aug 17, 2025
Sometimes marriage dont work out due to one or two differences



Its left for both to divorce peacefully

angry
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by pocohantas(f):
Tallesty1:
A lot of people are married to their enemies.
God abeg
I used to think she is trolling, but she has responded to some people here. Hopefully they sort it out. How many years do you want to live with an enemy? Some spouses no dey take correction and I always wonder what hardens them that much.
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by bigpaul84(op): 11:33am On Aug 17, 2025
Can we chat privately. This my Whatsapp number ,08064616153
dollytino4real:
non challant and ungratefulness to crown it all e does not know God
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by dollytino4real(f): 3:08pm On Aug 17, 2025
bigpaul84:
Can we chat privately. This my Whatsapp number ,08064616153
thanks i have collected the number expect my call it ends with 048 thanks 4 ur care n concern
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by Nobody: 4:21pm On Aug 17, 2025
dollytino4real:
I don tire for my own marriage but folo because no money to rent house is wat is caging me in like tortoise 🐢 inside shell. My own anytime i try to explain to him, that man ego will just scatter the conversation. Money money money money money only 250k
Aunty Dolly, you said on the other thread that you did not want to divorce your husband, you only wanted a separation in the hopes that he will see the light and begin to add value to you and the children.

I'm thinking.......if he is not adding value to any of you now that you live with him in the same house, will he actually do it when you rent a house and move out? The man may decide to severely pepper you sef, by not giving you a single kobo to feed the children.

Some men love to play that game as a way of punishing women who left with the kids for whatever reasons. In a bid to hurt you they ignore the children's needs, hurting them as well, it's a vicious vindictive streak I am yet to understand. Think the matter well o.

I think what you need is a reliable and steady income source to take care of you and your kids (in or out of that marriage) If someone gave you money to rent a house now, how will next year's rent be paid? I wish you good success in whatever decision you take.
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by descarado: 7:34pm On Aug 17, 2025
Klass99:
Aunty Dolly, you said on the other thread that you did not want to divorce your husband, you only wanted a separation in the hopes that he will see the light and begin to add value to you and the children.

I'm thinking.......if he is not adding value to any of you now that you live with him in the same house, will he actually do it when you rent a house and move out? The man may decide to severely pepper you sef, by not giving you a single kobo to feed the children.

Some men love to play that game as a way of punishing women who left with the kids for whatever reasons. In a bid to hurt you they ignore the children's needs, hurting them as well, it's a vicious vindictive streak I am yet to understand. Think the matter well o.

I think what you need is a reliable and steady income source to take care of you and your kids
(in or out of that marriage) If someone gave you money to rent a house now, how will next year's rent be paid? I wish you good success in whatever decision you take.
Genesis of her problem.
The moment she start earning money, no matter how small, the man will start seeing her differently and she will have more power of negotiation.
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by Nobody: 9:31pm On Aug 17, 2025
descarado:
Genesis of her problem.
The moment she start earning money, no matter how small, the man will start seeing her differently and she will have more power of negotiation.
Sometimes the way we self sabotage as women when it comes to economically empowering ourselves can be heart breaking sha.
Re: The Divorce Is Not The Best Option by dollytino4real(f): 9:40pm On Aug 17, 2025
Klass99:
Aunty Dolly, you said on the other thread that you did not want to divorce your husband, you only wanted a separation in the hopes that he will see the light and begin to add value to you and the children.

I'm thinking.......if he is not adding value to any of you now that you live with him in the same house, will he actually do it when you rent a house and move out? The man may decide to severely pepper you sef, by not giving you a single kobo to feed the children.

Some men love to play that game as a way of punishing women who left with the kids for whatever reasons. In a bid to hurt you they ignore the children's needs, hurting them as well, it's a vicious vindictive streak I am yet to understand. Think the matter well o.

I think what you need is a reliable and steady income source to take care of you and your kids (in or out of that marriage) If someone gave you money to rent a house now, how will next year's rent be paid? I wish you good success in whatever decision you take.
dat is wat is really keeping me back, dis rent issue na wahala but if i continue my dear i dey faint and wake up everyday with plenty confusion of wat is right to do,
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