₦airaland Forum

eulogised:
Funny thing is the Bible does not record the marriage process of wife taking or changing name except for Sarah from Sarai. The names had to do with the children born from their union.

I didn't even know this part. I was told by my friend that in Islam women are not compelled to change their name and I remember my paternal grandma had her maiden name. So I knew her surname, but I never knew my mother's surname until I was about 20yrs old. We had to call and ask which she found embarrassing, but can you blame us? 😂 In my time as a banker I saw too many adults that couldn't fill "mother's maiden name". Why exactly should a woman's ancestry be erased like that?

femi4:
It will affect your visa applications n other immigration issues. It's a common sense to do it

No it does not, a marriage certificate and birth certificates for the children are more than sufficient

NO

It's not compulsory at all

femi4:
It will affect your visa applications n other immigration issues. It's a common sense to do it

This is NOT true

Livelystone01:
It won't affect anything. Just tender your marriage certificate, as long as it is valid, they won't stop you.

Also, it is not compulsory to change name. I was the one who told my wife that she shouldn't change it because I don't see any reason for that.

Same here. She had made a name for herself before we got married and even though we agreed she could keep her last name due to the stress of changing names, she insisted that she wanted to add my surname to her surname. But when we started the process, it was daunting for some who holds 3 different passports and having to change name everywhere and on every publication? Too daunting. Our kids took my surname and zero issues. I would hate to go through that same process as a man with all my accomplishments.

Chilipepper:
Amid ongoing debates, the question arises: should a woman be required to adopt her husband’s surname after marriage? To husbands, is this a matter of importance, or do you view it as insignificant?

No, but yes for the children.

It depends on agreement. Most men prefer the name change. But there's usually some considerations if the wife has a powerful or popular surname or there's no man to keep the surname 'alive'.

pocohantas:
I didn't even know this part. I was told by my friend that in Islam women are not compelled to change their name and I remember my paternal grandma had her maiden name. So I knew her surname, but I never knew my mother's surname until I was about 20yrs. We had to call and ask which she found embarrassing, but can you blame us? 😂 In my time as a banker I saw too many adults that couldn't fill "mother's maiden name". Why exactly should a woman's ancestry be erased like that?

I am a husband myself and when we sat down to evaluate the stress involved? It was not worth it. My mother and grandmother have compound names too (their own surname and their husband's surnames put together). Also my wife comes from a family of only female children, I'll hate to see her father's name erased like that.

Why is this a topic of debate. It's a case of to each his/ her own. What should matter is that they love themselves and are married. Their marriage certificate is sufficient.

eulogised:
I am a husband myself and when we sat down to evaluate the stress involved? It was not worth it. My mother and grandmother have compound names too (their own surname and their husband's surnames put together). Also my wife comes from a family of only female children, I'll hate to see her father's name erased like that.

It is unnecessarily stressful. I even wondered, would I have to change my work email address too? Where does someone start from. Thanks on behalf of your wife. The way some men act like yam and palwine equals the right and entire being of a woman ehn. May God help our daughters.

femi4:
It will affect your visa applications n other immigration issues. It's a common sense to do it

Nope. It won’t. You can even be living partners and still get family visa. Oyibo has many ways to recognize ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ or spouses. I don’t think you have applied for visa before.

A lot of Muslims don’t know this: in Islaam, it is forbidden for a wife to bear her husband’s family or her husband’s father’s name.
She can retain her maiden name or chose to bear her husband’s name.

I have been married for long and my wife didn’t change her maiden name. She’s even Ibo and we have not had problem with names when applying for visa, as a family.

pocohantas:
It is unnecessarily stressful. I even wondered, would I have to change my work email address too? Where does someone start from. Thanks on behalf of your wife. The way some men act like yam and palwine equals the right and entire being of a woman ehn. May God help our daughters.

Every place, every certificate, every document, every publication, every website, every government portal, etc. she has been known with her maiden name would need to change. And that does not include all the legalities involved. There's nothing to a name. 9th anniversary in December. It has never been an issue or a debate.

Chilipepper:
Amid ongoing debates, the question arises: should a woman be required to adopt her husband’s surname after marriage? To husbands, is this a matter of importance, or do you view it as insignificant?

islamically , it is not necessary to take up the husband name with a valid reason .
Because a woman that got married and divorced will have to change her name again and we have woman with 4 failed marriage. ( did she has to change name everytime ) Islamically you're allowed to carry your father name as ur surname in marriage.

eulogised:
Every place, every certificate, every document, every publication, every website, every government portal, etc. she has been known with her maiden name would need to change. And that does not include all the legalities involved. There's nothing to a name. 9th anniversary in December. It has never been an issue or a debate.

Wow!! I never knew it is this deep. But the idea of having to get new IDs scared me mehn!

Islamically it isnt..
It is your choice to decide if you are going to, but we dont practice Shariah now, so in western ways, i think it is

femi4:
It will affect your visa applications n other immigration issues. It's a common sense to do it

No it won't.

femi4:
It does, for the sake of your kids, have a unified surname

You are using emotion to say it does.

It doesn't at all. My brothers wife did not change her name. It's been 15 years, 4 kids. She's traveled everywhere with kids alone. Done stuff on behalf of her husband. No single issue.

Is not an argument neither a debate, is a norm , if she bears her father's name before marriage, then she should also do same for her next generation she will bear...

But is not compulsory to be an issue, changing it can bring small frustrations as one has to be swearing affidavit upon and down but is good on the long run...

So how then should you be addressed as? Miss or Mrs who? Because you can't be a Mrs and still retain your father's name because you are not a second wife to him, neither can you be a Miss and claim you are married, unless you are married to Jesus

NO

Taking my husband's surname is a dream come true for me....

dollytino4real:
Yes o!!! In Nigeria is the inthing because the husband is the processor

It's so anywhere around the world.

DrOBD:
You are using emotion to say it does.

It doesn't at all. My brothers wife did not change her name. It's been 15 years, 4 kids. She's traveled everywhere with kids alone. Done stuff on behalf of her husband. No single issue.

What emotion? I m telling you based on travelling experience. You don't want unnecessary questioning from immigration officers

I have not changed my name.

It hasn't just occurred to me.

One of my senior aunts who is over 50 now has still not changed her name in close to 25 years of marriage


Actress Joke Silva didn't change her name.

There is no fast or hard rule.

No be change or no change of name dey bring peace and longevity to marriage.

kenn4rill:
So how then should you be addressed as? Miss or Mrs who? Because you can't be a Mrs and still retain your father's name because you are not a second wife to him, neither can you be a Miss and claim you are married, unless you are married to Jesus

I'm still addressed as "Dr ABC" ..my father's name.
I haven't changed my name.

People hardly call me "Mrs"..
They use my professional title instead

In African nations, yes. In developed nations, not necessary. It’s more of an agreement before the union.

Is it compulsory for a man to pay the bride price of the woman and still provide for the home?

Kukutente23:
Are you English or Indian?
You should take your own advice next time ok?

You get no rebuttal except this?
Rest.

DAramis:
She can keep her name if she insists but the kids must definitely take up the man's surname.

And when the man abandons the wife, and in most cases the children as well, the children will keep the man's name, abi? Women need to normalize giving their children's father full custody or at least accept nothing less than shared custody in the case of divorce.