₦airaland Forum

I built my wisdom from my personal experiences and from others I came across in life with challenges along and expanded it by guiding my footsteps with care. ...Even in Nairalander I still learn one or two from people's personal experiences.
I want to appreciate all Nairalanders contributing to this Platform one way or the other. God Almighty will reward you all and your House hold ..❤️❤️❤️❤️

This is the nonsense we get this days in Nigeria because we westernized our lives. Our culture has been thrown overboard. Women are now the owner of the house who gives order and permission. We are Africans for crying out loud. The wife is subject to the family she is married into and not the reverse. This must stop because we make mockery of our culture, tradition and our custom. How many times have the west change theirs to accommodate our culture? We have to re-examine ourselves how we dangerously deviated and retrace our footsteps before it's too late.

Okpetruth:
➜This is the nonsense we get this days in Nigeria because we westernized our lives. Our culture has been thrown overboard. Women are now the owner of the house who gives order and permission. We are Africans for crying out loud. The wife is subject to the family she is married into and not the reverse.
➜ This must stop because we make mockery of our culture, tradition and our custom. How many times have the west change theirs to accommodate our culture? We have to re-examine ourselves how we dangerously deviated and retrace our footsteps before it's too late.

She is subject to the family, yet the man can also decide to send her back to her family when he is done with her?

2. Thankfully, what is being stopped is the ludicrous practice of making the woman a slave to her husband and family, all because she agreed to marriage.

Caaz:
Sometimes you go just dey cap anyhow...if dem turn the table,can you provide xtra care for the mother of your future wife?

As for me...i dont have any problem with my partner bring his mum to stand with us,but where problem go dey be say,make he nor assign me as her care giver period.

And please your last paragraph stop insulting the female gender,even zonefree wey you dey imitate don get sense, and he has started acting matured.

Seems you're allergic to peace

Chilipepper:
Nigerian man laments after his wife refused his request to bring his sick mother to their house

The Fakest story in the World. First Prize

descarado:
Acid, na man wey get wisdom you be

The reason our granny( not related but we call her granny cos she is more like a family to us) is with her daughter here than her son in Nigeria cos her daughter will take care of her more than her daughter in law. She sulks and sulks, her daughter will look at her and just laugh. Can a daughter inlaw do that.

At all, a daughter in-law can't cope. We too dey set unrealistic expectations.

Kobojunkie:
She is subject to the family, yet the man can also decide to send her back to her family when he is done with her?

2. Thankfully, what is being stopped is the ludicrous practice of making the woman a slave to her husband and family, all because she agreed to marriage.

Nigeria people mentality i don't understand.

The guy has to discuss with his siblings how each can take turns. Some months here, some months there etc

He also should discuss with his wife what care taker role he's going to play. You can't dump responsibility on another person just because she married you. Your wife is responsible for the children, not your mother.

Everyone must contributes- afterall she is the mother of all of you. I'm not a fan of that " oh he has a wife he should do it, oh he is 1st born he should do it"

No one person should ever take on the roles of doing caretaker on an aged parent.

pocohantas:
I didn't ask you not to stand by what you say. I said you should learn to care for your own parents. It is not rocket science.

Taking care of parents is not rocket science but who has the flexibility of time to do it btw a married son and married daughter.

Taking care of elderly needs time and attention and that requires time off work or other engagements. Can a married man afford such luxury?

When my wife was working, we use to take turns to take time off work when our daughter was sick, but she had to do it more because I'm self employed- thus need to work to bring funds home. If I don't work, I don't get paid.

This is the social dynamics we talking about here, reason why daughters are best adapted to take care of parents.

Everything should not be about negative feminist energy.

Eventually, if we continue to insist on this impractical equality, solution will be to open care homes in naija and kuku dump our parents there. because no man who has responsibilities on his shoulders will stay at home to take care of elderly parents just because his sister insists on 50-50.

As per the op, bringing an elderly to your home needs full approval of your wife. Except she's a heartless woman, we all know the responsibility of caring for your mum will fall on her by default. If she's not ready for such, don't impose it on her.
All these talk about u caring for your mum is just emotional pleading. Except U plan to resign your work and stay home, any other thing is empty words

Appletek:
See posts of women on this thread.
I just dey laugh.

As a man, better take good care of yourself and plan for old age. Plan as if you don't have a wife. Very important.

Women are selfish by nature. As a man, you must also be brutal.

If she says you can't bring your mom, make sure you bring your mom, get a caregiver and change the locks of the house. Then, give a life ban to all her relations from visiting your house.

Let her go back to her parents house to get some home training.

I wish I could like this your post Thousand time. I am presently accommodating and helping in taking care my Sick Mother-in-law and it's not funny. Told my wife that I'm pretty sure that she can't do the same for my own mother... Already having that mindset....take care of yourself and plan ahead for the Old Age. Those gender are Selfish....!

Appletek:
See posts of women on this thread.
I just dey laugh.

[/b]As a man, better take good care of yourself and plan for old age. Plan as if you don't have a wife. Very important.[b]

Women are selfish by nature. As a man, you must also be brutal.

If she says you can't bring your mom, make sure you bring your mom, get a caregiver and change the locks of the house. Then, give a life ban to all her relations from visiting your house.

Let her go back to her parents house to get some home training.

I always say this.

Chilipepper:
Nigerian man laments after his wife refused his request to bring his sick mother to their house

Why is it that when a man’s mother is sick, it is always the wife they want to shoulder the burden, what about the woman’s daughters? Where are they when their mother needs them?

SIRTee15:
Taking care of parents is not rocket science but who has the flexibility of time to do it btw a married son and married daughter.

Taking care of elderly needs time and attention and that requires time off work or other engagements. Can a married man afford such luxury?

When my wife was working, we use to take turns to take time off work when our daughter was sick, but she had to do it more because I'm self employed- thus need to work to bring funds home. If I don't work, I don't get paid.

This is the social dynamics we talking about here, reason why daughters are best adapted to take care of parents.

Everything should not be about negative feminist energy.

Eventually, if we continue to insist on this impractical equality, solution will be to open care homes in naija and kuku dump our parents there. because no man who has responsibilities on his shoulders will stay at home to take care of elderly parents just because his sister insists on 50-50.

As per the op, bringing an elderly to your home needs full approval of your wife. Except she's a heartless woman, we all know the responsibility of caring for your mum will fall on her by default. If she's not ready for such, don't impose it on her.
All these talk about u caring for your mum is just emotional pleading. Except U plan to resign your work and stay home, any other thing is empty words.

Take care of your parents.

There is no one you guys have time to take care of. Not your own kids, not your parents. But there is always time for sidechicks. Women work too. At the places you work, there are women there. Yet we take care of our kids and parents. The time you used to type this epistle can be channelled into taking care of them. Take care of your parents. It is not impractical inequality.

pocohantas:
Take care of your parents.

There is no one you guys have time to take care of. Not your own kids, not your parents. But there is always time for sidechicks. Women work too. At the places you work, there are women there. Yet we take care of our kids and parents. The time you used to type this epistle can be channelled into taking care of them. Take care of your parents. It is not impractical inequality.

emotional ranting with no substance.

bye, madam feminista

SIRTee15:
emotional ranting with no substance.

bye, madam feminista

Of course imploring you to take care of your BIOLOGICAL parents is emotional rant without substance. The wife that doesn't want to do it is HEARTLESS and you the biological child is not. Why exactly did they born you?

pocohantas:
Of course imploring you to take care of your BIOLOGICAL parents is emotional rant without substance. The wife that doesn't want to do it is HEARTLESS and you the biological child is not. Why exactly did they born you?

Ok I've heard u Madame Feminista.

https://www.nairaland.com/8501362/guys-always-avoid-troublesome-ladies

SIRTee15:
Ok I've heard u Madame Feminista.

https://www.nairaland.com/8501362/guys-always-avoid-troublesome-ladies

Good you have read the thread and quite convenient of you to hop on my mentions with passive aggresion and try to play the victim. I do hope you can take the advice there because I won't be this nice next time.

Have a nice day, Son-With-Abandonement-Tendencies.

xtianchris:
Exactly why atleat a girl child is commendable...

In my office I have women working, will they resign to take care of thier parents? Even our MD is a woman. This your obsession with girl child is odd, you think they won't have a life in the future? Things have greatly changed. Will you advise your wife who say earn big to resign and become a care giver because girls earn well too now. Say your wife is working and her mum falls sick, will your wife resign to be at home with her mum and you'd agree to bear all financial responsibilities plus the one she has been contributing?

Your girls will get a job, get married and/or give birth to their own children too.

Lets take care of our health, pray for strength till we age, get money that can be used to hire for care if need be, then die when we are becoming a burden to anyone in the future.

pocohantas:
Good you have read the thread and quite convenient of you to hop on my mentions with passive aggresion and try to play the victim. I do hope you can take the advice there because I won't be this nice next time.

Have a nice day, Son-With-Abandonement-Tendencies.

Isn't that the reason your initial post was blocked?

Nairaland spam bots don't care about anyone's raging moment anymore. U write anyhow, u get blocked
anyhow.

Alright 🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️

Funny enough I really do like your posts because u are one of the sensible and pragmatic feminist I know both here and offline
Your feminist arguments do makes sense, but yesterday own dey somehow.

Ok apology for any offense caused, though I still stick to my irrefutable point.

SIRTee15:
Isn't that the reason your initial post was blocked?

Nairaland spam bots don't care about anyone's raging moment anymore. U write anyhow, u get blocked
anyhow.

Alright 🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️

Funny enough I really do like your posts because u are one of the sensible and pragmatic feminist I know both here and offline
Your feminist arguments do makes sense, but yesterday own dey somehow.

Ok apology for any offense caused, though I still stick to my irrefutable point.

You wish. The same post you quoted was blocked. Or did you see any post missing in my profile? As for your likeness, I am sorry I do not care. Keep it and your apology. Use that energy to care for your parents. Take care.

pocohantas:
You wish. The same post you quoted was blocked. Or did you see any post missing in my profile? As for your likeness, I am sorry I do not care. Keep it and your apology. Use that energy to care for your parents. Take care.

Pocohantas don vex finally. Who should I call to beg her now🤔🤔🤔


As per the matter on ground
We already concluded. Since we are all forming busy and nobody wan gree, let's open care home and dump elderly parents there.
Shikena.

SIRTee15:
Pocohantas don vex finally. Who should I call to beg her now🤔🤔🤔


As per the matter on ground
We already concluded. Since we are all forming busy and nobody wan gree, let's open care home and dump elderly parents there.
Shikena.

You will be fine...

jrobbins:
In my office I have women working, will they resign to take care of thier parents? Even our MD is a woman. This your obsession with girl child is odd, you think they won't have a life in the future? Things have greatly changed. Will you advise your wife who say earn big to resign and become a care giver because girls earn well too now. Say your wife is working and her mum falls sick, will your wife resign to be at home with her mum and you'd agree to bear all financial responsibilities plus the one she has been contributing?

Your girls will get a job, get married and/or give birth to their own children too.

Lets take care of our health, pray for strength till we age, get money that can be used to hire for care if need be, then die when we are becoming a burden to anyone in the future.

Thanks for the Advice.

Kobojunkie:
They are married, meaning they share financial resources at least. If she cannot bring her mother, then why should the man bring his own mother?

U didn't answer my question.
Did I say her mom shouldn't visit?

Akuruoulo:
➜U didn't answer my question. Did I say her mom shouldn't visit?

I did answer your question, only you don't seem to like the answer. It is your place to explain why.

Kobojunkie:
I did answer your question, only you don't seem to like the answer. It is your place to explain why.

There is nothing to like about an answer based on absolute hypocrisy. So that's not an answer

Kobojunkie:
Oh, so they are no longer one again. He is instead the head of the household, while she is his slave in marriage? Right, right! Shifting goalpost check confirmed!

pocohantas:
Maybe his mother is also facing her own karma. Could that be possible?