₦airaland Forum

I caught my wife chatting with men in romantic ways, she apologized , like twice . As a result , I link her Whatsapp and discover she's still continue even sending nudes. Just because of money . How can I handle this,I consider divorce but divorce will affect us ,we have 3 kids, 3, 5 and 7 years. Her character has not been good to me anyway and now this

She's sending nudes for money?

Sounds to me like you are either not providing enough, or she is greedy, or, since "Her character has not been good to me anyway", perhaps your character is not good enough for her. Either ways, you sound like you married the wrong person for you.

Think of it this way. Imagine you bought a car. And no, I'm not implying you bought your wife, but still. If the car you bought does not travel you the way you want, either because you bought the wrong car for yourself, you'd likely blame yourself for wasting your money, and if you can, try to fix the car or dump it and get another, which I wouldn't immediately advise in the case of your wife and 3 kids.

Take both of you to a mechanic of marriage counselling, is my advice. And work on your character towards her and hope. If that don't work, do consider selling the car that don't work for you and get a new and better car. But do go for driving lessons first, because your driving might be the issue here, since we have not heard the car's side.

As a result , I link her Whatsapp and discover she's still continue even sending nudes. Just because of money

Sorry to say but you are also falling short from your responsibility hence the above

Nawah.
Most women in this generation can't endure hardship.

I am not surprised especially the way and manner they hustle for money.

My little advice is,take her back to her family and tell them u will come back only if she changes from her bad ways if not,that u aren't ready to marry a dangerous wife.

Alternatively,strive hard to make good money. Women like money and that is the second advice I have for u.

budaatum:
She's sending nudes for money?

Sounds to me like you are either not providing enough, or she is greedy, or, since "Her character has not been good to me anyway", perhaps your character is not good enough for her. Either ways, you sound like you married the wrong person for you.

Think of it this way. Imagine you bought a car. And no, I'm not implying you bought your wife, but still. If the car you bought does not travel you the way you want, either because you bought the wrong car for yourself, you'd likely blame yourself for wasting your money, and if you can, try to fix the car or dump it and get another, which I wouldn't immediately advise in the case of your wife and 3 kids.

Take both of you to a mechanic of marriage counselling, is my advice. And work on your character towards her and hope. If that don't work, do consider selling the car that don't work for you and get a new and better car. But do go for driving lessons first, because your driving might be the issue here, since we have not heard the car's side.

A counsellor cannot solve low self esteem

Solved55:
➜I caught my wife chatting with men in romantic ways, she apologized , like twice . As a result , I link her Whatsapp and discover she's still continue even sending nudes. Just because of money . How can I handle this,I consider divorce but divorce will affect us , we have 3 kids, 3, 5 and 7 years . Her character has not been good to me anyway and now this

. Quick question! What is your food, utilities, and provisions budget every day/week/month? I am guessing you are in Nigeria, so tell us more about what your wife does with the money she makes from selling her nudes, and how much you have been making sure to bring in to your family at the same time.

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Also, tell us more about your part in your marriage. Be honest! Are you cheating on your wife or something? You mentioned her attitude towards you has not been good anyways. There must be a reason and knowing it will help.

Kobojunkie:
. Quick question! What is your food, utilities, and provisions budget every day/week/month? I am guessing you are in Nigeria, so tell us more about what your wife does with the money she makes from selling her nudes, and how much you have been making sure to bring in to your family at the same time.

Can the action be justified ? I mean her action

Solved55:
✓ Can the action be justified ? I mean her action

Absolutely, depending on what you mean by justified in this instance! 🥱🥱

Given the state of the Nigerian economy, if she were doing it in order to feed herself and her kids, of course, I would be the last person to judge her. 😩😩😩

Kobojunkie:
Absolutely, depending on what you mean by justified in this instance! 🥱🥱

Given the state of the Nigerian economy, if she were doing it in order to feed herself and her kids, of course, I would be the last person to judge her. 😩😩😩

I don't know if you are a lady. If yes, and married , can hardship or worse situation make you send your nudes to men for money?

Promptit:
✓ I don't know if you are a lady. If yes, and married , can hardship or worse situation make you send your nudes to men for money?

You are asking a meaningless question, though.🥱🥱

I said I would consider her actions quite justified in the case that those 3 kids were to face hardship without. What does it matter whether you are married or not when the lives of children, who never asked to be pulled into such a situation and do no deserve such treatment, are involved? 😩😩😩

There is nothing wrong there


Go and bring your side chick to ya house

Solved55:
Can the action be justified ? I mean her action

saddly and oddly enough.
May I ask what is your responsibility and financial contribution towards the family

Isn't it odd that a wife...

Would sell her nudes for whatever reasons. And some people on this thread would turn around and blame the husband for not providing enough for her.

What happened to all the honest and decent sources of income she can engage in to make money and support her family?

No decency or self worth or even respect for her husband and 3 kids. Face small challenge and the next thing na olosho.

If she wants to do olosho work she should resign her marriage and go to a brothel and work full time.


Some of her mates are breadwinners of their family earning money genuinely. She say na nudes she wan sell. Person wey olosho dey her eyes.



I wonder why any right thinking person would try to justify such actions. I give up on this generation.

It's a pity!

Promptit:
I don't know if you are a lady. If yes, and married , can hardship or worse situation make you send your nudes to men for money?

Of course. Why do you think sex workers are greater in poorer countries compared to wealthier ones? It is linked to poverty. So, yes, most women, if push comes to shove, would sell their bodies for money. Marital status has nothing to do with it. It is poverty.

The type of comments you see on nairaland will make you think twice about sanity of most Nigerian.

Pure madness

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Solved55:
I caught my wife chatting with men in romantic ways, she apologized , like twice . As a result , I link her Whatsapp and discover she's still continue even sending nudes. Just because of money . How can I handle this,I consider divorce but divorce will affect us ,we have 3 kids, 3, 5 and 7 years. Her character has not been good to me anyway and now this

She has spoken clearly to you. You still love her right? Love makes you weak here. She's leading you 10:0. You can't comeback from this but the man you will become after this is what we await.

You can still chase and live your dreams going forward. Historically, same fate has happened to men. This is not peculiar or personal to you.

You are not providing enough for your family and your children are very young, yet you want to divorce your wife. The very men wh0 chea*at in their marriages without any good reason are advising you to divorce your wife, when you know hardship is why she's doing those things. Go ahead and divorce, let's see who will be at greater loss. After divorce, hope you will be capable of sending monthly upkeep to your wife for the children's upkeep.

Solved55:
Can the action be justified ? I mean her action

It is not justified in any way. There are more dignified means of sourcing for money. Since this is a repeat behaviour, leave her to her reprobate mind. You sef enjoy your share as she has become public property. Continue to try your best to make a good life for yourself and the kids.

Or if she desires, convert her talent to a global business by going mainstream. You would be her manager with 10% cut.

Shame to all those supporting this woman. Are you making as much money as you want despite your ability to "hustle". Should you be put to shame simply because you cannot attain a certain level of wealth?

I hear the pain in your words, my brother. What you’ve discovered is not only heartbreaking but also deeply disrespectful to your role as a husband and father. It’s natural to feel betrayed, angry, and torn—especially since children are involved.

Here’s a way to look at it:

1. Acknowledge your emotions first. Don’t suppress your hurt or pretend it doesn’t affect you. Take some time to breathe, pray, and think clearly before making a decision in anger.

2. Confront the issue with honesty. Sit her down and have a calm but firm conversation. Let her know what you’ve seen, how it makes you feel, and how it’s damaging the family. Don’t shout—clarity hits harder than noise.

3. Draw your boundaries. Every marriage needs rules. If she’s crossing them, you must decide what you can and cannot tolerate. Tell her plainly: “This is betrayal. If you want this marriage, you must stop and rebuild my trust. If not, I cannot continue like this.”

4. Think of the children. They are innocent and deserve stability. Sometimes staying in a toxic marriage is even more harmful than divorce because kids absorb the tension. On the other hand, divorce also has its scars. So your decision must weigh both carefully.

5. Seek support. This is too heavy to carry alone. Talk to a trusted elder, mentor, or even a professional counselor—someone neutral who can guide you and maybe mediate.

6. Ask yourself the hard question: If she refuses to change, can you live with this version of her for the next 10–20 years? If the answer is no, then it may be wiser to separate than to destroy yourself slowly in silence.

Truth is, respect is the backbone of love. If your wife has chosen money and other men over loyalty, it’s not just “mistakes”—it’s a choice. You can forgive once, maybe twice, but if she continues, then she’s showing you who she truly is.

Your kids need a father who is strong, wise, and at peace—not one constantly broken inside. Whatever decision you make, let it come from a place of clarity, not anger.

Solved55:
I caught my wife chatting with men in romantic ways, she apologized , like twice . As a result , I link her Whatsapp and discover she's still continue even sending nudes. Just because of money . How can I handle this,I consider divorce but divorce will affect us ,we have 3 kids, 3, 5 and 7 years. Her character has not been good to me anyway and now this

brain54:
Isn't it odd that a wife...

Would sell her nudes for whatever reasons. And some people on this thread would turn around and blame the husband for not providing enough for her.

I was almost about to give up till I saw this comment that gives a little ray of hope.

Ask one of those WISE GUYS up there to define the limit and boundaries of ENOUGH when it comes to providing for a promiscuous and easy virtue woman and they will start mumbling.

brain54:
Isn't it odd that a wife...

Would sell her nudes for whatever reasons. And some people on this thread would turn around and blame the husband for not providing enough for her.

What happened to all the honest and decent sources of income she can engage in to make money and support her family?

It's a pity!

Yeah. It might be a pity, but get real. Do you not know how much some make on Only Fans?

There's people doing ashewo for much less, so in a sense, this guy is fortunate. You can't catch Aids by her only sharing nudes, but there sure is something wrong if a wife is sharing without hubby's consent.

Solved55:
I caught my wife chatting with men in romantic ways, she apologized , like twice . As a result , I link her Whatsapp and discover she's still continue even sending nudes. Just because of money . How can I handle this,I consider divorce but divorce will affect us ,we have 3 kids, 3, 5 and 7 years. Her character has not been good to me anyway and now this

From chatting, to sending nudes. Soon you will see her at FarmCity. They don't change or they rarely change. When you forgive infidelity, you have shown weakness. Their greatest fear was what you will do when you find out. Now they know you will do nothing. What exactly do you expect after this knowledge?


How can you handle it? Pray and ignore her. It is you she loves, not the other men. I am happy to see an enduring-virtuous husband.

pocohantas:
From chatting, to sending nudes. Soon you will see her at FarmCity. They don't change or they rarely change. When you forgive infidelity, you have shown weakness. Their greatest fear was what you will do when you find out. Now they know you will do nothing. What exactly do you expect after this knowledge?


How can you handle it? Pray and ignore her. It is you she loves, not the other men. I am happy to see an enduring-virtuous husband.

Your first paragraph kinda of contradicts the second though...

If na my place , na death of the couple and their kids this family they use play so .. you aren't afraid of infidelity, STI's and see finish say other men done see your wife privates . Hmm una they marry nonsense sha oo .. cheating from any partner in a marriage is a no-no , if you're not ready to be committed to your partner , then what's the need of getting married ?

budaatum:
Yeah. It might be a pity, but get real. Do you not know how much some make on Only Fans?

There's people doing ashewo for much less, so in a sense, this guy is fortunate. You can't catch Aids by her only sharing nudes, but there sure is something wrong if a wife is sharing without hubby's consent.

The guy is fortunate because his wife is doing olosho...

Or sharing noodles?

Great. Nothing I won't hear.

Anyone that isn't ready for marriage should not go into it.

Simple!

Solved55:
I caught my wife chatting with men in romantic ways, she apologized , like twice . As a result , I link her Whatsapp and discover she's still continue even sending nudes. Just because of money . How can I handle this,I consider divorce but divorce will affect us ,we have 3 kids, 3, 5 and 7 years. Her character has not been good to me anyway and now this

Please forgive her. She just used those men to scratch an itch.

Go into your deepest closet and pray for your marriage. Watch this Christian movie, "War Room", apply the principles in your home and you will be singing a new Hallelujah tune.

Kobojunkie:
You are asking a meaningless question, though.🥱🥱

I said I would consider her actions quite justified in the case that those 3 kids were to face hardship without. What does it matter whether you are married or not when the lives of children, who never asked to be pulled into such a situation and do no deserve such treatment, are involved?😩😩

Your heaven na view once

folake4u:
Please forgive her. She just used those men to scratch an itch.

Go into your deepest closet and pray for your marriage. Watch this Christian movie, "War Room", apply the principles in your home and you will be singing a new Hallelujah tune.

Best answer to a simp. You're doing well.
It's even abomination to me for a single girl lady and not to talk of a married woman sending her nudes to men and the man is asking funny question

Manculated:

Your heaven na view once

Heaven ke? Abeg, enter gutter for road side o'jare!

@OP still hasn't answered any of the questions asked leading me to believe there may be a why to his wife's supposed actions that he may not want us to be aware of.

Poco and Folake ooooooo