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Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralFamilyTry To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. (31781 Views)

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Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by mechanics(m): 3:21pm On Sep 03, 2025
Eyah, sad news.
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by fyneboi79(m): 3:21pm On Sep 03, 2025
Samantha125:
But why do we Africans always have this mentality of always suspecting poison whenever someone dies suddenly? Where's the proof that he's been poisoned?

Many people have underlying ailments but don't know it.
Yeah very true! Africans never go for random health checkups and won't maintain a healthy lifestyle,but expect to live a long healthy life by simply believing in God.
Hi Sammy grin
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by ExudeLoveToAll: 3:29pm On Sep 03, 2025
His brother and nephews are they strangers? Omo the way una dey talk sha no be Small. grin
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by ExudeLoveToAll: 3:31pm On Sep 03, 2025
delugadou:
This family would have still killed the man's children.

You think they will gladly live in a hut, while their late brother's child occupies the new house alone grin

A man's enemies are members of his household
You are very wrong.....So outsiders aren't your enemies but your family members
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by ExudeLoveToAll: 3:33pm On Sep 03, 2025
DiasGodinHeaven:
Murdered no
Died of ignorance yes.
A BP patient who doesn't takes his medication is bound to die untimely.
Like I said, he slumped in owerri immediately after coming down from the bus. When people around revived him, he should have insisted to go to hospital but rather he insisted of going home. You know what ignorance can do.
The guy you responded to is the chairman if ignorant people of Nairaland, someone who died if BP complications is who he said he was murdered. The family even tried for him by taking him to places they believed would have helped him even though such places don't result to anything good.
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by nedekid: 3:38pm On Sep 03, 2025
DiasGodinHeaven:
Murdered no
Died of ignorance yes.
A BP patient who doesn't takes his medication is bound to die untimely.
Like I said, he slumped in owerri immediately after coming down from the bus. When people around revived him, he should have insisted to go to hospital but rather he insisted of going home. You know what ignorance can do.
Exactly.
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by joseph1832(m): 3:39pm On Sep 03, 2025
Kobojunkieee:
This suggestion screams all sorts of wickedness to me. The man is dead. If he had had a child, who would have been there to raise the child or make sure the property would have ended up in the child's hands, assuming his family would not have maybe killed the child off to grab the property for themselves? undecided

OP, if you were a child in that situation described, would you have been happy or something? Before you say yes, consider the case of the millions of orphans in Nigeria today who roam the streets every day and night, many of them with living relatives who refuse to take them in. undecided

Not everyone should go around having children because children are not meant to be solutions to problems, not even of the kind you describe. undecided
Having kids is something that is very sensitive.

Ive seen kids who turn out to be something worse, because of the sole fact the people who brought them to this world, had ulterior motive to use them as retirement plan.

All I can say in this situation is, the man died and atleast, his family members are the ones who occupy the house he built, no strangers, as posited by the OP.
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by Kobojunkie: 3:40pm On Sep 03, 2025
DiasGodinHeaven:
➜Murdered no. Died of ignorance yes. A BP patient who doesn't takes his medication is bound to die untimely. Like I said, he slumped in owerri immediately after coming down from the bus. When people around revived him, he should have insisted to go to hospital but rather he insisted of going home. You know what ignorance can do.
And this ignorant individual is the one you insist should have had kids before now? Are you for real? undecided
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by Skydivine: 3:42pm On Sep 03, 2025
But is it anyones fault that he did not have children?
Do you except the house to remain vacant or abandoned?
Unfortunately, The parlor is a common area and when resources are limited, the brother s children cannot leave what is needed ( a living space) to concentrate on the parlor.

For burial purposes, they could have rented / used white curtains to cover the Unplastered parlor wall.
The dead man has done his part on earth. What is left is left for the living.
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by Kobojunkie: 3:43pm On Sep 03, 2025
joseph1832:
➜Having kids is something that is very sensitive. Ive seen kids who turn out to be something worse, because of the sole fact the people who brought them to this world, had ulterior motive to use them as retirement plan.
All I can say in this situation is, the man died and atleast, his family members are the ones who occupy the house he built, no strangers, as posited by the OP.
Well, do you blame them for revolting when they figure out they were just meant as a retirement plan for an ignorant bunch of people? Imagine being invoked into the suffering of Nigeria all because someone decided you were a better retirement plan than other meaningful methods out there. I would go berserk too. undecided
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by maasoap(m): 3:47pm On Sep 03, 2025
Kobojunkieee:
This suggestion screams all sorts of wickedness to me. The man is dead. If he had had a child, who would have been there to raise the child or make sure the property would have ended up in the child's hands, assuming his family would not have maybe killed the child off to grab the property for themselves? undecided

OP, if you were a child in that situation described, would you have been happy or something? Before you say yes, consider the case of the millions of orphans in Nigeria today who roam the streets every day and night, many of them with living relatives who refuse to take them in. undecided

Not everyone should go around having children because children are not meant to be solutions to problems, not even of the kind you describe. undecided
And who are the people who should be having children? Non.sense as usual
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by maasoap(m): 3:48pm On Sep 03, 2025
NotOfThisWorld:
You should be more concerned that he was murdered. So the police won't be called and his death won't be investigated? The way Nigerians can kill each other over money and properties is pathetic.
Murdered? How? Because some ignorant folks thought so? He had stroke and wasn't taken to the hospital. That wasn't murder
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by Kobojunkie: 3:49pm On Sep 03, 2025
maasoap:
➜And who are the people who should be having children? Non-sense as usual
It's like saying your comprehension regulator is seriously faulty.🙄🙄

Clearly, you are told not everyone should go out and have kids, particularly those of you who think children should be for the sake of inheriting your unfinished projects in this life. What part of that do you not understand? 🥱🥱🥱
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by Skydivine: 3:51pm On Sep 03, 2025
Kobojunkie:
Well, do you blame them for revolting when they figure out they were just meant as a retirement plan for an ignorant bunch of people? Imagine being invoked into the suffering of Nigeria all because someone decided you were a better retirement plan than other meaningful methods out there. I would go berserk too. undecided
No one is talking about “retirement plan” here . Instead, the story is a reflection on the consequences of not having a heir, a child who will inherit the dead man’s property.
Please, how is that a retirement plan?

The man was working, making money and building a house. How was that a bad thing to do? And if he had remarried, would that be considered a bad choice? Did he know he was going to die so soon?
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by joseph1832(m): 3:51pm On Sep 03, 2025
Kobojunkie:
Well, do you blame them for revolting when they figure out they were just meant as a retirement plan for an ignorant bunch of people? Imagine being invoked into the suffering of Nigeria all because someone decided you were a better retirement plan than other meaningful methods out there. I would go berserk too. undecided
Going berserk won't do anybody any good. What is, is what is. I've often stated that before people decide to get married and have kids, they should be interviewed rigorously.

Majority of Nigerians have this mentality of using their kids as retirement plan. Imagine a man who didn't take care of his kids, or even bother to bring them up uprightly, will start laying curses on their kids, when the kids refuse to give in to their demands.
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by maasoap(m): 3:52pm On Sep 03, 2025
Onegai:
Children are beautiful and a blessing from God.

However...
There's no guarantee that his children would have inherited his house. I mean, this is Nigeria, the land where we say "wives are not your family, will everything to your brother so that he will take care of your kids", then sit back and cry when human greed manifests.

There's no guarantee he would have been a good father. He could easily have followed Nigerian society's bad morals and have cheated so much or even have broken up his marriage for the sake of his side chic and disinherited his children.

I guess the moral of the story is: "live well but don't store your inheritance on earth, think and work always towards Heaven".

Good morning y'all.
LilMissFavvy:
I was thinking you will be talking about how a man of 56yrs lived without having a lawyer or a written "will" at age 56. Even some illiterates do have a written "will". It would have been better he willed his property to the orphanages than leave it for $uch a brother.

Having children is not compulsory, one can "will" his/her property to the poor, orphans, churches, etc.
One would assume these women/ladies don't have children or plan to have grin grin
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by NotOfThisWorld(f):
Kobicove:
Dem no dey do autopsy for Nigeria.

Even if there was a need for it in this instance it would not be done because there in no one to push for it because you need to pay for it
Ok, that's too bad. In the west, it would be done and one doesn't push for it. The authorities/government would take it upon themselves to do it to ensure there was no foul play involved in their death and if there was, get justice for them. Oh well.
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by DataDoc: 3:58pm On Sep 03, 2025
CorperKola:
No one is getting out alive anyway
Cos if he survived for longer he would still have needed a house to live in without bothering about rent
Or would he have been buying drugs and undergoing treatment while hustling for rent and food at an old age and taking care of children also like the OP is suggesting.
His only mistake here is not taking his health seriously
You're right.
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by EXPRESSSMAN(m): 4:03pm On Sep 03, 2025
MrColdsweat:
Sentence a human to this satanic world, a lifetime of pain and suffering, just to secure your small house.
Great idea.
Not so bros. We live and extend life. That's man's destiny on earth. We can not allow pain or suffering to deny us from fulfilling our destiny. Think about it.
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by Kobojunkie: 4:08pm On Sep 03, 2025
joseph1832:
➜Going berserk won't do anybody any good. What is, is what is. I've often stated that before people decide to get married and have kids, they should be interviewed rigorously.
➜Majority of Nigerians have this mentality of using their kids as retirement plan. Imagine a man who didn't take care of his kids, or even bother to bring them up uprightly, will start laying curses on their kids, when the kids refuse to give in to their demands.
Well, it seems almost the default way many of these people who were themselves raised by emotionally stunted parents know how to deal with frustrations, though. I can't say I blame them. undecided

2. It's the entitlement for me. 🙄🙄🙄
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by InvertedHammer: 4:12pm On Sep 03, 2025
/
There is no reason a healthy African adult should not have children. India and China like many other countries copied the Western style and technology but retained their own culture strictly. Nigerians embraced Western culture as perfection and copied the culture (including the most ridiculous that they hate) and abandoned the technology. Technology? Yep! Nigerians are part of the end-users only.

/
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by Kobojunkie: 4:13pm On Sep 03, 2025
Skydivine:
➜No one is talking about “retirement plan” here . Instead, the story is a reflection on the consequences of not having a heir, a child who will inherit the dead man’s property. Please, how is that a retirement plan?
➜ The man was working, making money and building a house. How was that a bad thing to do? And if he had remarried, would that be considered a bad choice? Did he know he was going to die so soon?
1. Huh? The story is instead a reflection on the consequences of not taking care of one's health and also not having a Will in place. undecided

2. You mean you still haven't figured out by now that today might be your last day? huh

Honestly, what has remarriage to do with anything? He was working and making money and did not think of remarriage. Whose intention was this if not his own? If he had left behind a widow and a child, what guarantee exists that the woman and child would get their hands on his property or even survive after his demise? Abegi! undecided

LOL... the funny part of all of this is people like you are probably thinking the dead man is right now regretting not having children or something; this goes against your many religious claims that the dead know or care about nothing. grin
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by Bahamas95(m): 4:20pm On Sep 03, 2025
OP forget that thing!

The most important thing is to pray not to have evil family members..... Even if he had a wife and children evil family members would still stop them from getting your properties when you're gone.


As am typing this I know of two women suffering from this kinda evil family, both of them have children.....They chose not to fight because of fear.
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by Jieta2: 4:21pm On Sep 03, 2025
Kobojunkieee:
This suggestion screams all sorts of wickedness to me. The man is dead. If he had had a child, who would have been there to raise the child or make sure the property would have ended up in the child's hands, assuming his family would not have maybe killed the child off to grab the property for themselves? undecided

OP, if you were a child in that situation described, would you have been happy or something? Before you say yes, consider the case of the millions of orphans in Nigeria today who roam the streets every day and night, many of them with living relatives who refuse to take them in. undecided

Not everyone should go around having children because children are not meant to be solutions to problems, not even of the kind you describe. undecided
I believe this is your opinion, no body knows what will happen next in as much as we can't decide what we happen next to us having a offspring is something every normal human being should do, if the man had one or two children I believe his brothers won't have share the rooms among themselves.
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by Kobojunkie: 4:26pm On Sep 03, 2025
Jieta2:
➜I believe this is your opinion, no body knows what will happen next in as much as we can't decide what we happen next to us having a offspring is something every normal human being should do, if the man had one or two children I believe his brothers won't have share the rooms among themselves.
Well, one could argue that "Nobody knows what will happen next," are the reason why the man chose to ignore his health problems, refused to write a will, and decided to focus his energy on building himself a house before pursuing other things. Now we all know where that got him, do we not? And we also know that if he had had kids, after his demise, their situation might also have ended up no different from that described by the poster who commented right before you indicated. undecided
Bahamas95:
OP forget that thing! The most important thing is to pray not to have evil family members..... Even if he had a wife and children evil family members would still stop them from getting your properties when you're gone.
As am typing this I know of two women suffering from this kinda evil family, both of them have children.....They chose not to fight because of fear.
So, what else of your life are you willing to chalk up to this, "Nobody knows what will happen next," delusion? 😏
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by Jieta2: 4:34pm On Sep 03, 2025
Kobojunkie:
Well, one could argue that "Nobody knows what will happen next," are the reason why the man chose to ignore his health problems, refused to write a will, and decided to focus his energy on building himself a house before pursuing other things. Now we all know where that got him, do we not? And we also know that if he had had kids, after his demise, their situation might also have ended up no different from that described by the poster who commented right before you indicated. undecided
So, what else of your life are you willing to chalk up to this, "Nobody knows what will happen next," delusion? 😏
You are quoting the next reply did you not see the reply the op gave him that the maternal parents of the children if for example the deceased married would not have allowed the uncles shared the rooms among themselves. Because there are igbos or you just one to push your ideas of having the whole world before marring down everybody throat.
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by Skydivine: 4:37pm On Sep 03, 2025
Kobojunkie:
1. Huh? The story is instead a reflection on the consequences of not taking care of one's health and also not having a Will in place. undecided

2. You mean you still haven't figured out by now that today might be your last day? huh

Honestly, what has remarriage to do with anything? He was working and making money and did not think of remarriage. Whose intention was this if not his own? If he had left behind a widow and a child, what guarantee exists that the woman and child would get their hands on his property or even survive after his demise? Abegi! undecided

LOL... the funny part of all of this is people like you are probably thinking the dead man is right now regretting not having children or something; this goes against your many religious claims that the dead know or care about nothing. grin
In this specific case, he did not have need for any will. What additional benefit will a written Will guarantee? Who is more appropriate beneficiaries than the present people in the house?
Do you think someone who was 56, active, working and able to make money with underlaying chronic conditions was not taking care of his health? Do you even know how difficult it is to manage symptoms/ cursors to stroke, let alone be able to travel, work and participate in other community activities with those symptoms?
No one is talking about religion here. This a a specific case of a man who died in-estate. Who loved and trusted his brother while he was alive.
If you figure out that today is your last day, what are you going to do about it? Write your will and hand over your property to the orphanage?
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by Kobojunkie: 4:41pm On Sep 03, 2025
Jieta2:
➜You are quoting the next reply did you not see the reply the op gave him that the maternal parents of the children if for example the deceased married would not have allowed the uncles shared the rooms among themselves. Because there are igbos or you just one to push your ideas of having the whole world before marring down everybody throat.
This retort of yours makes no sense. In the same Igboland, there are countless cases of women and children being kicked out of their homes after the demise of their husbands, justice never finding many of them in the end. But you are busy trying to weave tales of some fantastical set of maternal parents who would swoop in to save the day in that particular region? Are you playing around or something? huh
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by AkhereOkaka(m): 4:42pm On Sep 03, 2025
ibechris:
This message is what it is.

Thanks for sharing...people would not understand the importance of having your own family early enough.

Thanks bro for a well written piece.
Have gone through the first two comments, only yours made sense. Many will not understand the importance of your own family (wife and children) until it's too late. If you find a good woman that is focused and ambitious having a skill or career, don't wait till your late thirties before settling down. At most do that by 30 years as a man. If you're waiting for the right time. That right time may not come

I'm 39years doing well for myself with a wife and a one year 2months old daughter. Sometimes I still regret not settling down while I was 30years.


We rise by lifting others
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by Kobojunkie: 4:47pm On Sep 03, 2025
Skydivine:
➜In this specific case, he did not have need for any will. What additional benefit will a written Will guarantee? Who is more appropriate beneficiaries than the present people in the house?
➜Do you think someone who was 56, active, working and able to make money with underlaying chronic conditions was not taking care of his health?
➜ Do you even know how difficult it is to manage symptoms/ cursors to stroke, let alone be able to travel, work and participate in other community activities with those symptoms?
➜No one is talking about religion here. This a a specific case of a man who died in-estate. Who loved and trusted his brother while he was alive. If you figure out that today is your last day, what are you going to do about it?
➜ Write your will and hand over your property to the orphanage?
1. Having no kids is not a reason to have no Will. A will is needed in the case that the man preferred the property be given to someone else, he felt deserved to eat of his hard work, e.g., orphans in the village, as against the same brother who had failed him in his investments. undecided

2. So, you think OP lied when he declared that the man refused to take his medications and insisted on being taken home instead of a hospital after having a partial stroke? undecided

3. Is it difficult to manage symptoms/cursors to stroke now? WOW!!! You keep coming with 'em, don't you? undecided

4. Um, usually, people are serious, don't write a will on the day of their death. They write one long before that, when they are clear-headed and also able to have the document at least notarized and handled by an executor beforehand. sad

5. Lots of people in the world do exactly that, and it is thanks to their generous donations that many societies are able to keep functioning well, too. 🥱🥱🥱
Re: Try To At Least Have A Child Whether Male Or Female. Read This Live Experience. by Weknowbetter: 4:49pm On Sep 03, 2025
He died while working on his project. He looked forward to his home. He just was sick without proper medical care. Having a small child would not have changed any of that. When we die let us not worry about earthly things so we shall rest in peace
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