₦airaland Forum

Nnamdipapa:
Luckily for me, I have four WhatsApp accounts. Three are heavily passworded. The one she checked is just the “decoy” account with light security.

xtianchris:
I'm faithful.. 😁😁 You are safe 💯

Nnamdipapa:
I don’t share what I discuss with my brother and sisters with my wife for example. I don't share my business finances with my wife,, another example.

Why the hell should I lose my individuality because of marriage ?

Maeve7:
Loyalty is what we want. A faithful husband who makes us feel safe and doesn’t create the need to go through his phone because we sense that he is hiding something with his numerous high security WhatsApp accounts.

Nnamdipapa:
So, I was in deep sleep when suddenly I woke up around 4 a.m. I reached for my phone, which I usually keep on the bedside table before going to bed, and to my surprise, the phone was nowhere to be found.

Still half asleep, I stretched my hand around in the darkness, thinking maybe it had slipped into the crack between the bed and the wall, but no, my phone was gone.

Now, I could swear on a stack of Bibles that my phone was right beside me before I dozed off the previous night. I was even up till midnight, scrolling as usual, before retiring for the night. Normally, whenever I wake up, I check my phone for the time.

Out of curiosity, I reached to the right side of the bed and noticed my wife’s spot was empty. Hmm.

I dragged my sleepy self to the bathroom to ease myself and, lo and behold; there was madam, inside the bathroom, with my phone on the floor. I was shocked, because I knew for sure I didn’t leave it there.

Anyway, I picked up the phone, went back to bed, and when I got under the sheets, I glanced at it. To my greatest confirmation, WhatsApp was open. Someone had been going through my chats.

I used to have strong security on the phone, but I relaxed it recently for some reasons. That’s probably how she got access. She pretended like she didn’t touch my phone, and I pretended like maybe I mistakenly left it in the bathroom. I didn’t challenge her. I just smiled under the sheets and went back to sleep.

The next morning, while replaying the whole incident in my head, some questions came to mind.

Ladies, what exactly do women want?

What are you looking for when you sneak into your husband’s phone and monitor his activities online? What exactly do you plan to do if you find suspicious chats with another woman? What next after all that stress of staying awake all night, plotting how to get hold of his phone?

Luckily for me, I have four WhatsApp accounts. Three are heavily passworded. The one she checked is just the “decoy” account with light security.

Then I remembered my maternal grandfather—the great man who had five wives. He eventually died on the sexy laps of a beautiful Ijaw side chick (yes, true story). Yet, none of his wives ever ransacked his belongings or violated his privacy like this. Meanwhile, me with only one wife, I’m already seeing shege. I still have a long way to go to match that man’s legacy.

So again I ask: why do women believe their husbands are under total control, and must be monitored 24/7? Don’t you people get tired?

Marriage does not automatically mean access to every single aspect of a man’s life. The life of an African man is hard enough, sometimes he just deserves small enjoyment without his privacy being constantly violated.

I honestly don’t get it. Maybe some of you can explain whether you really think marriage gives you the right to every corner of your husband’s life, including his private space.

I come in peace. Hehehehehe.

Nnamdipapa:
Have you ever considered what the guy wants? Tried to see things from his point of view just for once?
Did you consider if you are constantly doing things or not doing things that make his life miserable? You see, expectation is like a two-way street and when you make someone unhappy and still expect loyalty from that individual? Come on

Kobojunkie:
Neither a woman nor a man is a mind reader. There is no way either can know what is in the mind of the other except the one communicates it.

2. Again, communication is key! You have to open up about these things in a relationship, not clam up only to then whine about your partner trying to use other means to access the necessary information.

3. The expectation in relationship including marriage is open communication. If you are not open to that then take it that the marriage is not for you and quickly exit. Holding another man's child hostage amounts to you holding yourself hostage too in these things. 🥱🥱

DIVINEEVIDENCE:
Isn't that what y'all call a boring husband?

The one that doesn't get coochie unless he's a good boy during the day or it's a very special occasion?

What happened to the emotional high and the one who keeps his wife on her toes?

Or, is this just another pretentious, 'romantically correct' opinion?

Dtruthspeaker:
Cheating is a taboo to both parties.

However, women lowered themselves as they are known for marrying useless men who cheat, so they cannot be complaining about something they condone.

Maeve7:
When you people grow up and start your own families with all the responsibilities that come along with running a home and taking care of children, you will outgrow all your red pill nonsense philosophies.

Dtruthspeaker:
More than that. It is an observable fact.

Women with honour and dignity don't marry men who have no honour, worth and dignity.

But since many women lose their honour and dignity by falling to the level of sexSellars, then even a blind, crippled man in a hut in Odogbolu bush has more worth than women who sell their bodies.

Only for such women to now be eager to marry drunken wore eating men, so how can they complain about their husbands cheating when they are actually the kings of it?

Double0h7:
A man should never worry when his woman is obsessed about his time and person rather he should worry when a woman no longer questions or looks for his attention.

In ops case you’re obviously living with your enemy so it makes sense that she’s scoping out the perimeter to make sure she’s safe.

Maeve7:
When you people grow up and start your own families with all the responsibilities that come along with running a home and taking care of children, you will outgrow all your red pill nonsense philosophies.

SentimentsHub:
I get where you’re coming from, but I think the bigger picture here isn’t really about gender—it’s about trust and communication. Yes, marriage doesn’t automatically give someone the right to invade every corner of their spouse’s life, but the fact that your wife felt the need to check your phone suggests she may be feeling insecure or disconnected in some way.

Marriage is a partnership, not a surveillance operation.

Kobojunkie:
Your title is misleading as it assumes that only women snoop around their spouses' phones. There are enough posts here on Nairaland— Romance section to be exact— revealing that both males and females are guilty of this sort of snooping, particularly those who are insecure and anxious in their relationship.

2. Marriage may not be that, but it does remain that for two people to successfully maneuver a marriage, there ought to be openness and extensive communication between the two. You have made it abundantly known to all of us here on Nairaland that you have checked out on that marriage, meaning you are just living with a roommate all of this time. Your wife isn't on the same page as you there, as her snooping through your phone means she is unsure of the present and the future of the relationship she has with you. If she shared the same feelings you do regarding the marriage, she would probably not be in the same bed with you or even pay attention to anything that has to do with you.

And again, a lot of men do the same.

3. Again, this ain't really about women but about a communication gap that seems to exist in your relationship there.

Nnamdipapa:
That was in theory, the lies we have been told growing up. I believed that lie too for a long time after marriage before I realized ahe was always planning with her families behind my back. I was the fool for believing "two shall become one" mantra.
Marriage is simply two people agreeing to live together and share some common interests.

Nnamdipapa:
So, I was in deep sleep when suddenly I woke up around 4 a.m. I reached for my phone, which I usually keep on the bedside table before going to bed, and to my surprise, the phone was nowhere to be found.

Still half asleep, I stretched my hand around in the darkness, thinking maybe it had slipped into the crack between the bed and the wall, but no, my phone was gone.

Now, I could swear on a stack of Bibles that my phone was right beside me before I dozed off the previous night. I was even up till midnight, scrolling as usual, before retiring for the night. Normally, whenever I wake up, I check my phone for the time.

Out of curiosity, I reached to the right side of the bed and noticed my wife’s spot was empty. Hmm.

I dragged my sleepy self to the bathroom to ease myself and, lo and behold; there was madam, inside the bathroom, with my phone on the floor. I was shocked, because I knew for sure I didn’t leave it there.

Anyway, I picked up the phone, went back to bed, and when I got under the sheets, I glanced at it. To my greatest confirmation, WhatsApp was open. Someone had been going through my chats.

I used to have strong security on the phone, but I relaxed it recently for some reasons. That’s probably how she got access. She pretended like she didn’t touch my phone, and I pretended like maybe I mistakenly left it in the bathroom. I didn’t challenge her. I just smiled under the sheets and went back to sleep.

The next morning, while replaying the whole incident in my head, some questions came to mind.

Ladies, what exactly do women want?

What are you looking for when you sneak into your husband’s phone and monitor his activities online? What exactly do you plan to do if you find suspicious chats with another woman? What next after all that stress of staying awake all night, plotting how to get hold of his phone?

Luckily for me, I have four WhatsApp accounts. Three are heavily passworded. The one she checked is just the “decoy” account with light security.

Then I remembered my maternal grandfather—the great man who had five wives. He eventually died on the sexy laps of a beautiful Ijaw side chick (yes, true story). Yet, none of his wives ever ransacked his belongings or violated his privacy like this. Meanwhile, me with only one wife, I’m already seeing shege. I still have a long way to go to match that man’s legacy.

So again I ask: why do women believe their husbands are under total control, and must be monitored 24/7? Don’t you people get tired?

Marriage does not automatically mean access to every single aspect of a man’s life. The life of an African man is hard enough, sometimes he just deserves small enjoyment without his privacy being constantly violated.

I honestly don’t get it. Maybe some of you can explain whether you really think marriage gives you the right to every corner of your husband’s life, including his private space.

I come in peace. Hehehehehe.

DIVINEEVIDENCE:
Raincheck!
Ain't nobody gonna outgrow no Redpill any time soon.

The clouds are just beginning to form.

Feel the environment and find out its gradually becoming common knowledge.

I pity wives of the next generation because they'll have to deal with toxic husbands who can expertly manipulate their emotions and get away with a lot.
Men they'll be helplessly attached to, yet cannot control or walk away from.

The monsters you all made.

pocohantas:
Abi na. He should marry and apply it to his wife.
Life no suppose hard.