₦airaland Forum

We had this yellow pawpaw Secondary school course mate, so reserved and cool, the type that doesn't do social media.


Now, After secondary school they relocated to another state and we due to one thing or the other, we lost contact. Back then no smartphones like today, so we couldn't connect.



About 5 years ago I heard he's getting married and thankfully got his contact and we reconnected, but weren't getting in touch like back then in secondary school (Responsibilities choke).


Fast-forward to early this year I visited his state for some kind of outside work and would frequently visit him and stay a bit with his family.


At that time his wife was heavily pregnant and would soon put to bed for his 3rd child.

But something seems off. When I first visited Thier home, his second child a little boy of about 2 years old was the first I noticed and he was exactly carbon copy of his dad that I immediately called him Junior.


But the first one was inside and reluctantly came out. When he finally did I thought he was a sisters son or so because he looked completely like the mom, dark in complexion like her and similar facial features, but no single resemblance with the dad, fair in complexion.

I quickly shrugged it off, saying this one looks like his mom o, he should've been born a female, and we all laughed.


After my stay in the town I went back to base and we kept in touch.

Not so long after that I later got to know through WhatsApp chat that his wife has put to bed, and I congratulated them.


Now this August that just ended I visited the state again and used that opportunity to visit him.

Just few months since my last visit but the kids have grown quickly like it's been ages.

The second son now looked more like the dad, but the first one still no sign, face, voice, hair, character or anything.

No similar point to hold that this is how he takes after the dad.


Now I wouldn't conclude, because it would be a serious allegation without evidence.

The new one they just gave birth to looks like the dad even though he's not up to 6 months up (maybe?)


What struck me was that his mom was with them and when that first one did something wrong she scolded him and said something like look at you, you don't behave like your dad at all. She was seriously comparing him to the younger one that was all like his dad from looks to behaviors.


Now I've been brushing aside all the DNA test drama online, feeling that they want to create content or market their products, but this guy's case is troubling me.

Should I tell him to make investigations about her exes or he should do DNA test to find out now that he's still young?


My conscience is troubling me because I can't just keep shut.

I even had a dream where he was pleading to me to help, but I was unsure how to.

I've been hearing that when children are little, like when they just give birth to them they might not be looking like the dad, until they start growing.

But this guy's case is different. The second son looks like the dad in behaviors and facially, hair line and all, and the third one now too, except for the first.


I'm troubled, I don't want to be the bad guy that ends their marriage or put asunder, but still yet my conscience would not let me rest pushing me to save his lineage.

And let's I forgot, he's the second son of his parents, the first one hasn't married yet and it seems he's not interested as he is in his mid forties.

And the wife is all these TikTok type of girls, a bit flashy that you won't immediately know she's married when you first come across her.

How do I tell him my concerns without coming off as rude or intrusive or trouble starter?

What if he does the test and the boy turns out his, how would I face him?

All I can say is that people must learn to mind their own business... Especially, when no help is been sought.

dawnomike:
All I can say is that people must learn to mind their own business... Especially, when no help is been sought.

I've given this a thought because it's not like I have evidence, not I I saw his wife with anyone or so.

But what if tomorrow it's my turn and a friend decides to look away.

Besides, my conscience is troubling me

You can tell him to do a DNA test only if you will be the one to pay the bill or support with half of the money otherwise mind your business.

It is on Nairaland I got to find out that every child looks like the father in face and actions. As in, if you born 5, all of them would be carbon copy of the man. None would take looks from the wife's gene pool (her, her dad, her mother, even great grand aunty). Everybody would look like the mannnnn! All of you guys on NL, none of your siblings look like your mum.

Please tell him to do DNA.
If he cannot afford it, support him financially.
We need more DNA crusaders like you before paternity scam reaches an all-time high.

Carazon:
You can tell him to do a DNA test only if you will be the one to pay the bill or support with half of the money otherwise mind your business.

The money won't be the problem because it's something he can easily afford.

But what if, what if my speculation turn out wrong.

It would surely ruin our relationship, he might even open up to his wife about it and I would be seen as the devil.


But if if I take the bold move and he does the test and it confirm my speculations, I've saved a lineage.

I think I would risk it

pocohantas:
It is on Nairaland I got to find out that every child looks like the father in face and actions. As in, if you born 5, all of them would be carbon copy of the man. None would take looks from the wife's gene pool (her, her dad, her mother, even great grand aunty). Everybody would look like the mannnnn! All of you guys on NL, none of your siblings look like your mum.

Please tell him to do DNA.
If he cannot afford it, support him financially.
We need more DNA crusaders like you before paternity scam reaches an all-time high.

I get the point you are coming from, but wouldn't it be better he confirms now that the children is still young?

Remember, hose that later found out never thought about the possibilities until it happened.

At least one single stuff to use, be it physical appearance or behavior or so

lovediehatelive:
I get the point you are coming from, but wouldn't it be better he confirms now that the children is still young?

Remember, hose that later found out never thought about the possibilities until it happened.

At least one single stuff to use, be it physical appearance or behavior or so

My point exactly. Kids do not look like their mums. Two people contributed to form a child and all the kids should look like only one person _the man. It is important he tests for this reason that the child looks like his mother.

pocohantas:
My point exactly. Kids do not look like their mums. Two people contributed to form a child and all the kids should look like only one person _the man. It is important he tests for this reason that the child looks like his mother.

Well no one controls how a child looks like, but an element should be there at least one from each parent.


No one is talking about the second son or this new born, but the first because they have convinceable elements of resemblance with the dad.

Why would the first one be completely different?

If I were to speculate further I would say she had a last goodbye "farewell" sex with her ex, but that would be too bold an accusation for someone I don't know before.

lovediehatelive:
Well no one controls how a child looks like, but an element should be there at least one from each parent.


No one is talking about the second son or this new born, but the first because they have convinceable elements of resemblance with the dad.

Why would the first one be completely different?

If I were to speculate further I would say she had a last goodbye "farewell" sex with her ex, but that would be too bold an accusation for someone I don't know before.

1) You confirmed there is no single element in 30mins of your visit from a child who was even hiding. I bet if you stay one month, you will tell us more about her n●ked body.

2) A child is considered completely different because he looks like his mother. As in, his biological mother.

3) Take some time to tell us what the child who looks like the man, shares in common with his mum.

4) Please save your breath. You will need it to explain to your friend. Hopefully it won't be your last...

lovediehatelive:
Well no one controls how a child looks like, but an element should be there at least one from each parent.


No one is talking about the second son or this new born, but the first because they have convinceable elements of resemblance with the dad.

Why would the first one be completely different?

If I were to speculate further I would say she had a last goodbye "farewell" sex with her ex, but that would be too bold an accusation for someone I don't know before.

Are you this idle?
If you are idle, carry rake, broom and sweep your street to keep your mind and hands busy.
Thank you in advance

pocohantas:
It is on Nairaland I got to find out that every child looks like the father in face and actions. As in, if you born 5, all of them would be carbon copy of the man. None would take looks from the wife's gene pool (her, her dad, her mother, even great grand aunty). Everybody would look like the mannnnn! All of you guys on NL, none of your siblings look like your mum.

Please tell him to do DNA.
If he cannot afford it, support him financially.
We need more DNA crusaders like you before paternity scam reaches an all-time high.

He may be a graduate in one of our tertiary institution

This one has carried his nairaland home-wrecking spirit into someone's home.

A man let you into his home, and this is what you do? You start monitoring his home?
The man does not have eyes to see whatever it is you saw, abi?

You see, this is one reason past people should be left in the past.
And one should be careful who they open the doors of their home to.

lovediehatelive:
Well no one controls how a child looks like, but an element should be there at least one from each parent.


No one is talking about the second son or this new born, but the first because they have convinceable elements of resemblance with the dad.

Why would the first one be completely different?

If I were to speculate further I would say she had a last goodbye "farewell" sex with her ex, but that would be too bold an accusation for someone I don't know before.

Why are you deliberately cooking up issues where there might be none? Is it a crime for a child to have a semblance with his mum?

How do you expect a child that looks 99% like the mother to also look like his dad? Do the couple look like they're siblings or related in any way?

If you are married and have kids, go run DNA test for your own kids first then tell him you just did and talk about the advantages on your own side and to other men.
If he has ears, he will hear.

Benlight:
If you are married and have kids, go run DNA test for your own kids first then tell him you just did and talk about the advantages on your own side and to other men.
If he has ears, he will hear.

Man with brain,but there’s nothing Better than Minding your business sha…
Soon or later he will find out the truth

Trust me it’s not your conscience that’s troubling you but the devil’

You better respect yourself so that others can respect you back!

To avoid embarrassment as you said, you can secretly carry out DNA test to satisfy your curiosity.
Then go ahead to prove it to the man, that his first son is not his.

Meanwhile many first sons always take after their mother, including character.

Nairaland and local champions! OP went to school but never learned anything related to biology. Them suppose lock you for one room dey study your brain as a special deviant from normal evolution

lovediehatelive:
I've given this a thought because it's not like I have evidence, not I I saw his wife with anyone or so.

But what if tomorrow it's my turn and a friend decides to look away.

Besides, my conscience is troubling me

Well like the first responder to your story adviced, mind your business and face your front .
Like they say, what you don't know wouldn't hurt you. I can imagine the chaos if every man only knew the full story about their ancestry.

E be like you no want dey eat that free food again wen ever you visit. Mind your business especially for the fact he is only a friend.
This is a delicate issue that could tear the family apart, and you might be held responsible.

One thing I don't like is somebody see something is wrong with his friend and keep quiet, and is excuse is he don't want to be the bad guy, you're the bad guy for not doing something.

Brother, I know you want to help a fellow brother but sometimes, the best way way to help a thirsty person is to allow him need water by himself and he will when the thirst becomes unbearable for him. Just like your instincts gives you hints, his own is also doing the same but he doesn't know how to balance his emotions yet. Don't mind those telling you otherwise, a child borrows traits from both parents no matter how little. If that woman's ex shows up now, that's when you will know that the child does not resemble only his mother in entirety, that he also got some traits from someone else. We have normalized paternity fraud so much in this country that the abnormal has become the normal even when biology says otherwise. For now, let the sleeping dog lie until daybreak.

lovediehatelive:
The money won't be the problem because it's something he can easily afford.

But what if, what if my speculation turn out wrong.

It would surely ruin our relationship, he might even open up to his wife about it and I would be seen as the devil.

You believed that he can easily afford the money because you are his account officer.
Many of my friends also believed that I can easily dash them 500k or there about

As for telling his wife, the chances is above 80% so as I said before mind your business

Oga

Can you please avoid the family for a long while so you don’t bring this your energy to your friend? Really it isn’t your business if you think about it

descarado:
He may be a graduate in one of our tertiary institution

This is one of those stories that never happened. He just created it for validation from his ilk. I was thinking the moniker looks familiar and I have confirmed.

pocohantas:
This is one of those stories that never happened. He just created it for validation from his ilk. I was thinking the moniker looks familiar and I have confirmed.

You know how to sniff them out.
Those women bashing threads.
These people are really filled with sadness in their lives.

Educated illiterates will always show themselves, either in words, thoughts, and comments

ARE YOU MARRIED WITH CHILDREN?

IF YOU ARE YOU CAN TELL HIM YOU WANT TO TAKE YOUR OWN CHILDREN FOR DNA TEST, POINTING OUT THE WORLD OF TODAY AND ITS UNCERTAINTIES, INCLUDING EXCHANGING CHILDREN AFTER BIRTH IN CLINICS ETC

THEN HEAR HIM SPEAK

Urm, the 2nd son who looks %99 like the father and nothing like the mother, shoukdnt there be some kind of DNA to really determine if the mother is the authentic mother 🤷

Thinking out loud.

Not every person we should welcomed into our homes,this one is trying to cause chaos in that family.So the first child sharing resemblance with the man's wife is now termed**omo ale++


This here is the reason why i always vet and filter all my husband friends,,i noticed any nonsense alacrity,i'd everything within my power to put an end to such association.