₦airaland Forum

My name is Michael and I am 37 years old.
I am married with 4 Kids all 4 Girls.

I got married about 8years ago and my eldest child is 7yrs and Triplets are 4yrs each.

I worked hard all my life even right from my university days, so I was not able to graduate with school results.
Hustling and going to school, since my parents are too old to assist and I migrated to town myself from the village.
I graduated with 2.2 my CGPA was 3.3

After service years, I got a job that helped me and my parents a lot with time I said let me give this people grandchildren before they go and by God's grace I did before they both left (slept in the Lord).

The company I worked for after about 3yrs just wind up so I am left with job search.

I got a job few months later I thank God, the salary was 150k and I have spent 5yrs and I earn 240k monthly now.

I have been on guy abeg 5k 10k 15k from different friends when things choked me up.
Infact I have become a frequent borrower for past 4yrs and not like I live large, drink, smoke or give women money.

I have tried different risk with money, save up to like 200k and invest but zero yield.

My wife on the other hands struggling with her small shop of less than 100k and taking care of the kids.

I really feel ashamed of my life, myself and it's troubles me a lot.
I have prayed, did dry fasting and wealth kept its distance.

I feel I have failed in life and feel like giving up.

I wrote this if you have gone through similar things and came out please help with steps and advise.

I saw the Monkey movie and it's talks a lot about me.
I thought the writer knew me..when my Mom died I sold my chairs and TV to bury her.

I am frustrated, confused and choked.

I think the solution to your problem is starring you in your face if you have the humility to see it.

You have a wife whom you claim "on the other hands struggling with her small shop of less than 100k and taking care of the kids", so why don't you learn from her or invest in her?

You 2 working together would likely do much better than you do by yourself, it sounds like.

Are you saying you currently earn #240k monthly? And still borrowing?

Or you mean you do not have a job at the moment?

If you are earning #240k monthly, how are you spending it?

Solution no 1; Make sure you don’t bring forth any kids again, those 4 are ok.

We can move to the next solution from there.

You should have had just 1 child.

That is what you and your wife's income can support. Forget fasting and praying. This is pure lack of foresight.

I just pity your girls as you have created a foundation of poverty for them already.
I hope for the best tho.

budaatum:
Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen and six , result happiness.

Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery

Charles Dickens, David Copperfield

100 likes for you, Sir!
This is the summary of the story and the 'panacea' (.. make I borrow big English) to his situation.

It seems you are not budgeting, this is my observation from your post.

Try budgeting

What are the basic necessities of life

1. Food.

2. Shelter

3. Education

4. Clothing

Do the following

1. Ensure to take your kids to a very good government school, I forsee you are paying tuition fees in a private school, do this and see how you cut your expenditures downwards

2. Ensure to buy food stuff in large quantities like at least custards, this will help reduce the pressure on you for the month.

3. Open a rigid account where you can't access and place a monthly payment order to that account for your rent, if your rent is 360k per year then the monthly payment order will be 30k per month, this will put away pressure of running shelter skelter during time to pay your rent.

4. Note you must budget for these activities before you embark and not just spending out of impulse, clothing expenses comes once in a while and not all the time so this expenditure can be managed just ensure their clothes are well washed.

With the little from your wife you will understand it will get better. Also ensure to reduce external expenditures as much as possible, I'm talking of impulse expenditures especially, expenditures you never budgeted for.

Coming out of poverty is easy as a single man than as a married guy.

Altogether, u can come out of poverty only if u are determined.

What u need now is a side hustle...an urgent one at that.

Without much ado,let me recommend this book for u and it would help u greatly.

You are either in the wrong profession or you don’t have enough streams of income. Why not become an affiliate marketer/information marketer. Connect people with problems to their solutions. You can get out of a lot of tough positions linking people with the right information/product/service eg real estate.

My advice to start with is to calculate the total amount your family needs to survive for a year. expenses like rent, school fees, transportation, feeding, health insurance and co. Add at least 20-30% of the total as buffer for inflation, emergencies and miscellaneous. Then divide by 12 which will give the monthly cost to sustain your family.

If the monthly cost is above your current salary, then you need to start considering ways to increase your side income either by upskilling in your current job like taking a certification that will enable you land a better paying offer or freelancing if the nature of your job permit so or running a side hustle or business.

240K monthly salary with 4 children?

Bros, what you need to get out of poverty is not advice but MIRACLE.

Keep pushing, perhaps you'll hit a stroke of good fortune and your condition will change for the better.

Going by what I read, you (and your wife) are not doing that bad.

You just need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, be grateful for what you have now, live within your means, be contented, while you hope for the better.
That's all.
It's not difficult to be happy.

You're a blessed man, you're just not seeing/living it.

The greatest stealer of joy is lack of contentment and ingratitude.

Stephen0mozzy:
Are you saying you currently earn #240k monthly? And still borrowing?

Or you mean you do not have a job at the moment?

If you are earning #240k monthly, how are you spending it?

Bro, that might sound significant but it's not for a family of that size in this economy - especially in the city.

I am a single man and I spend about that or more a month. And I don't have any lady friend that I spend money on monthly! 🙂 Plus, I don't spend extravagantly or on luxury.

Make I even burst your brain: I no even get a 9-5 job. But God has been supportive and this is the major reason I can't shy away from certain expenses.

I have actually been thinking more frequently about the amount of money I spend per month and thinking if there are expenses I can cut. None yet.

Naira no get value again o. No think am. Baba and his wife need to double their hustles as they continue praying to God for help.

yomi007k:
You should have had just 1 child.

That is what you and your wife's income can support. Forget fasting and praying. This is pure lack of foresight.

I just pity your girls as you have created a foundation of poverty for them already.
I hope for the best tho.

You have said it all o…

Mariangeles:
Going by what I read, you (and your wife) are not doing that bad.

You just need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, be grateful for what you have now, live within your means, be contented, while you hope for the better.
That's all.
It's not difficult to be happy.

You're a blessed man, you're just not seeing/living it.

The greatest stealer of joy is lack of contentment and ingratitude.

First time of aligning wit u on family section

yomi007k:
You should have had just 1 child.

That is what you and your wife's income can support. Forget fasting and praying. This is pure lack of foresight.

I just pity your girls as you have created a foundation of poverty for them already.
I hope for the best tho.

This is what I always preach to people, but they think I am nuts.

We4all:
This is what I always preach to people, but they think I am nuts.

Baba. Oyinbo and Asians wey dey born 1 pikin know what dey are doing.

That is why they always above the poverty line because the men and women have enough disposable income and time/energy to be productive.

Hmmn...

I can't blame you for wanting a 2nd child, then Life gave you 3 at once... making 4 beautiful daughters.

Yea, also it's good to double your hustle by upskilling or adding a side hustle, But if you'd listen... pls be careful of the bolded, as it's a very common factor with young men these days having HBP and untimely passing... Your health is your asset.

In the mean time... you must learn or ensure to live within your means. By all means save something of your current salary... maybe the 40k extra on it, or atleast 30k.

Then look to God and hope for the best without flinching. May God send help your way. 🙏🙏