Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,740,164 members, 6,498,422 topics. Date: Monday, 20 September 2021 at 01:07 PM

My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? (24444 Views)

My Husband Is Driving Me Crazy, I’m Afraid I Will Not Die Before My Time / Is It Okay For My Mum To Send Money And Food To My Married Sister ?? / My Wife And Her Family Are Driving Me crazy (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (Reply) (Go Down)

My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by Juliusdaughter: 9:50pm On Sep 13
Let me just start somewhere angry
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

211 Likes 21 Shares

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by Iyaebe: 9:55pm On Sep 13
I feel your pain dear, find a way to move out.

77 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by shawante(m): 9:58pm On Sep 13
It's quite easy.. Just charge below the average price of sewing and if you're good the word will spread around

201 Likes 15 Shares

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by mariahAngel: 9:58pm On Sep 13
You have to find a way to leave that house as soon as possible for your own good.

71 Likes 8 Shares

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by Kobojunkie: 11:03pm On Sep 13
Juliusdaughter:
I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?
Hold on a second! undecided

Not everyone is born with what you call am emotional connection with their parents units. For some it is a lifelong struggle, for others, life does not make sense without it. So, don't worry yourself too much about it. I didn't have an abusive parent and I still didn't have what many tag an emotional bond to mine. I only started developing it in my adult years... it comes and goes really. grin

You stated you have a store and have yet to even get customers. Why don't you wait until your have customers and have saved up enough to keep going for at least 3 months before you move out. Surely you can tune your mum and her issues out a little longer undecided

Channel your frustrations into being the best seamstress you can be and prove her worries and insults wrong that way instead. undecided

63 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by frozen70(f): 11:48pm On Sep 13
Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere angry
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

If your boy friend truly loves you and you guys have plans for the future, seat down and discuss this with him

If you know that you have enough money to rent the room and parlour, then good so far you will not get broke before the next rent

You can still rent a room and start your hustling from there

It's a pity she is behaving this way

A time shall come, she won't be able to access you because she is already destroying the bridge that links both of you

58 Likes

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by igbowoman: 12:07am On Sep 14
Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere angry
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

Are your parents divorced ?
did they have a very sad marriage or relationship ( if not married)
and do you look like your dad?
Seems to me like your mom is taking out some frustrations on you.very unhealthy place to be
Wishing you well in your tailoring.

48 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by poshestmina(f): 1:28am On Sep 14
It's best you move out for your mental well-being.
You can rent a place to serve as both house/office...if you are good at it ,you will start getting referrals and clients.

Godspeed!

17 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by sisisioge: 4:48am On Sep 14
A very good move...she needs to learn to respect you....distance will greatly help.

17 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by adajoe555: 5:19am On Sep 14
It's not really easy.... This kind of mum can make one loss sanity, the best thing to do is to move out of that house.... But discuss with your guy first.

11 Likes

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by Katier00(f): 5:43am On Sep 14
Don't move out yet until you have a sustainable plan. Grow thick skin to all she is saying now. You know failure is not an option for you in this case so don't rush out and rush in again biko. Please hold on with your fiancé until you guys have enough money to start up a family otherwise you will end up being a nagging wife and mother just like your mother

108 Likes 7 Shares

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by Juliusdaughter: 8:06am On Sep 14
igbowoman:


Are your parents divorced ?
did they have a very sad marriage or relationship ( if not married)
and do you look like your dad?
Seems to me like your mom is taking out some frustrations on you.very unhealthy place to be
Wishing you well in your tailoring.

I lost my dad two years back, and she never really said good things about him until his death. I feel she's transferring some aggression on me cos I'm the first born.

21 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by Juliusdaughter: 8:09am On Sep 14
Katier00:
Don't move out yet until you have a sustainable plan. Grow thick skin to all she is saying now. You know failure is not an option for you in this case so don't rush out and rush in again biko. Please hold on with your fiancé until you guys have enough money to start up a family otherwise you will end up being a nagging wife and mother just like your mother
Thank you. We are doing a registry marriage before the end of the year

27 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by Katier00(f): 9:53am On Sep 14
Juliusdaughter:

Thank you. We are doing a registry marriage before the end of the year
God bless your union darling

44 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by igbowoman: 12:27pm On Sep 14
Juliusdaughter:


I lost my dad two years back, and she never really said good things about him until his death. I feel she's transferring some aggression on me cos I'm the first born.

I just felt that reading your story that was why I asked.There is something she's taking out on you.Try your best not to argue or have quarrels with her ,she is going through some pain and her aggression is misplaced.Have you tried telling her how her attitude makes you feel?
Sometimes bringing it up may even make her act uglier you have to be mentally prepared to carry out that conversation.People like that get defensive and say even more hurtful things but at least it is good to try.
I pray the Lord helps you .
It must be rough for one's mom to be so judgmental like that.
Forgive her
God sees your heart but you must move away from her so she doesn't destroy your confidence and self esteem

28 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by Kobojunkie: 12:55pm On Sep 14
Juliusdaughter:

Thank you. We are doing a registry marriage before the end of the year
Please, do not let this cause you to rush into marriage. Instead, try to get yourself stable even before you marry so you are able to be an equal partner in your marriage. undecided

39 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by brosom(m): 3:00pm On Sep 14
Calm down, you'll be fine

1 Like

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by MrrGary: 3:00pm On Sep 14
That’s a clear message to leave and stay on your own ni.


Seeing what your mates are doing, she’s becoming fed Up seeing you around constantly eating “mama thank you” grin

4 Likes

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by shogsman(m): 3:00pm On Sep 14
Happens to the best of us,point is over familiarity brings contempt even within the family

19 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by Moving4: 3:00pm On Sep 14
U just have to bear until u find a way to leave the house for her
Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by Sonnobax15(m): 3:01pm On Sep 14
undecided
Like seriously,op you Just reminded me of what I used to be,and your mom being a typical example of how my popsman used to be when I was in your shoe..

This life no easy cha oh...... Sometimes we just have to keep on hoping that someday Everything is gonna be alright,so long we ain't lazy and we have been working hard cool

Las las,e go dey alright op..

6 Likes

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by Authoreety: 3:01pm On Sep 14
Move

I had same experience while growing up, mum was always on my neck for every reason.. I made up my mind to leave.. Rented an apartment, furnished it and just left. She wept wen I told her my reason for leaving... But I earned more respect from her which has continued to grow uptil date.

27 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by Nobody: 3:01pm On Sep 14
Probably indirectly saying it's time to move or see finish or both perhaps
Just make moves sis, you did figure things out!

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by JosephXavier(m): 3:01pm On Sep 14
OP it seems like you already have the best plan to remedy this

Just move out of the house if you can raise the money for rent

Sometimes having your space can make people respect you

Your mum is not too different from most Nigerian mothers, I know she loves you and wants you to succeed in life but maybe she is the emotional type and doesn't know how to keep a good relationship with you

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by Mercychen(f): 3:02pm On Sep 14
You're in your mid 20s? And still staying with your parents? It's obvious why your mom is picking on you unnecessarily. She wants you to leave and I think you should too.

I left exactly around that age, even without any pressure from my parents. So, I wonder what you're still doing there with all the insults.

As for your fiance, what part is he playing in establishing your tailoring biz?

3 Likes

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by bigdammyj: 3:02pm On Sep 14
Yes
Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by Navalsadiq(m): 3:02pm On Sep 14
Baba move out
Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by Lollittaa: 3:02pm On Sep 14
Don't move out just yet. Till you have the financial wherewithal to sustain yourself. Please keep praying for her. It may not seem to change her at first, but it will definitely change how you respond to her.

3 Likes

Re: My Mum's Constant Insult Is Driving Me Crazy, It Is Time To Move Out? by bleskid(m): 3:02pm On Sep 14
how old are u

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (Reply)

Widow's Sons Arrested For Beating Her Young Boyfriend - VI, Lagos / Cussons Baby Moment: Parents Accuse Organisers Of Favouritism And Exploitation / Married Couples Who Are Never Intimate But Insist They're Happy

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2021 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 170
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.