₦airaland Forum

Cmanforall:
Some of the points you raised here were necessary those days, but with internet, any student who wishes to network can easily do that in a professional way.
I have mentored many I’ve never met in person, but their approach, messages or email tells how prepared they are to be mentored

Acidosis:
We can't really blame some parents. Some decisions we make early in life have long-lasting, if not eternal, impacts. There are certain schools you attend, and you just know that it will take only luck or the grace of God for one to rise above a certain level. The world is so competitive now.

Just last week on X, I saw some Nigerians regretting that they didn’t study Engineering in Unilag. Who wouldn’t? You just have to see the number of graduates getting jobs in top global companies like Bloomberg, Google, etc., straight after school. The same goes for their medical students. Their level of networking is just something else. While other people are hustling for NYSC, those ones have already completed their online interviews with Bloomberg, US medical schools, etc. I've read the same pattern with CU students.

Same education as someone who studied the same course in e.g., faraway Taraba State, but the networking, friendship? That’s what makes the difference.

As long as they’re not doing it blindly or getting into needless debt or blind competition, omo, we can’t really blame them. Many adults today developed low self-esteem because of their poor background. By poor, it doesn’t necessarily mean lack of money, but poor exposure and mentality.

Amwitty:
I get your point but uni is very different from primary and secondary school. I will pay huge for my childrens uni education cause that's where they actually network just as you mentioned.

Gerrard59:
I agree with everything you have stated. However, the way to overcome the challenge of poor exposure is via the Internet. I am one of those who went to a no-name school because I wasn't allowed to leave my state of residence, but with constant voracious research and reading online articles, I overcame the school aspect. I have participated in EduBridge Financial Class, and honestly, I was the only student who studied at a university in Eastern Nigeria. The majority were ABUAD, UI, UNILAG and of course, CU.

Finance plays a huge role, rather than just the name of the school. I could afford trips to Lagos whenever I wanted. I had a place to live. Most importantly, the drive and ambition led me to EduBridge. I have conversed with accounting students from a sister university, and they did not know what KPMG and PwC were all about. Ordinarily, they should have as their school had a bigger name than mine. But I knew about the Big4 more than them all thanks to the Internet.

My friend had participated in the US embassy-sponsored Grad Program, and he had taken the GRE, but because of his low score, he was not qualified. He saw the application online and applied. I have applied to a popular investment bank on behalf of a senior schoolmate who is a math guru. I saw the job ad in a WhatsApp group, told him he can be qualified because of his high grade. He gave me the go-ahead; I applied, and he got called up for the test. Interestingly, the ad stated they want First Class in Physics or Mathematics applicants but my schoolmate had a 4.46 CGPA in mathematics. I reasoned that with a stellar and American-style investment bank CV and cover letter, he would be called up, so I applied. Where did I see the CV template? On the Internet. He was the only one with a 2.1 out of 8 persons and the only grad from a uni East of the Niger.

Young people should learn to use the Internet for useful purposes. It is the greatest invention after electricity.

BItt:
Struggle to push your kids to good schools. Its part of parenting sacrifice.
Later in life, the kids will leverage on connections they were able to make in schools.

Some connections can't be made in certain schools.

Acidosis:
We can't really blame some parents. Some decisions we make early in life have long-lasting, if not eternal, impacts. There are certain schools you attend, and you just know that it will take only luck or the grace of God for one to rise above a certain level. The world is so competitive now.

Just last week on X, I saw some Nigerians regretting that they didn’t study Engineering in Unilag. Who wouldn’t? You just have to see the number of graduates getting jobs in top global companies like Bloomberg, Google, etc., straight after school. The same goes for their medical students. Their level of networking is just something else. While other people are hustling for NYSC, those ones have already completed their online interviews with Bloomberg, US medical schools, etc. I've read the same pattern with CU students.

Same education as someone who studied the same course in e.g., faraway Taraba State, but the networking, friendship? That’s what makes the difference.

As long as they’re not doing it blindly or getting into needless debt or blind competition, omo, we can’t really blame them. Many adults today developed low self-esteem because of their poor background. By poor, it doesn’t necessarily mean lack of money, but poor exposure and mentality.

Acidosis:
You are right. Do you believe in the power of association? The right association can influence even the most laid-back person.

Esthered:
You've said it all.
Some parents claim they're making the sacrifice to give their children the best.

descarado:
At the end of the day, too much pressure to start taking care of them from mid life when they can still work and make ends meet as parents assume its the duty of their kids to take care of them as they age. That son marry, the mum will swear he will never enjoy his marriage because she sold her left bweest to train him so he owe her his existence.
Did he tell her to give birth to him? No answer to that. Wack mentality.
Their audacity is what baffles me. You enter your son's home and become home owner, dictating that everybody should bow to you.

BItt:
Struggle to push your kids to good schools. Its part of parenting sacrifice.
Later in life, the kids will leverage on connections they were able to make in schools.

Some connections can't be made in certain schools.

Onegai:
The thinking behind "Na me train am, na me own am!" is again, Poverty mentality.

Because do you think Otedola is depending on his Son-in-law for upkeep money? If his child is being maltreated, he will quietly remove her from the marriage.

My mother doesn't enter my brother's house more than 3 times in a year and she contributed largely to him buying it, way before he married. No matter how much his wife gets on her nerves, she won't go there to say "my money bought this home".

My aunt's son just got married, they bought and fully furnished a home in Ikoyi for the couple. When they want to see their grandkid, they invite the couple to come visit.

But when you scraped and made your child your meal ticket, then yes, you'll declare you own them and nobody has any rights over them.

Poverty mentality. And poverty mentality can affect anyone, even the wife of a rich man. As long as she grew up poor and continued in her mentality, she'll always be like that. She'll help her son get a job and then demand he spends all his money on her, "na me own you!". Until her son jams a crazy girl with poverty mentality and then the 2 women fight it out.

descarado:
It is not poverty mentality but low self esteem.
Low self esteem masquerade as poverty mentality.
Why do nigerian politicians keep on stealing even though they have billions in their account?
Low self esteem.
Otedola will train his son in law to take over his biz as his daughters do not have interest in biz and his son is autistic. Besides, his son inlaw is not poor. Wonder why people look down on that guy. Maybe cos he does not make noise.
Low self esteem makes parents irrespective of backgrounds to Control the lives of their kids especially sons and make the wife a second fiddle in her home.
For parents that do not do that, they do not suffer from low self esteem and are contented being parents to their kids and succour.

descarado:
Acid, low self esteem has been part of Nigeria since colonization. It was systematically put in place to checkmate through religion and religious dogmas. We are still struggling and fighting for self realisation and actualization

Religion did what Internet is doing now but religion used force, war and intimidation, Internet is doing that but making you believe you own your mind and decisions, what religion never did.

Almost all colonial masters are now atheist countries. Eg British. People do not know but Britain is no longer a Christian country. Islam saw the opportunity and viam

odimbannamdi:
I disagree with this.

No matter how wealthy you are, you will still find it hectic and sacrificial to pay school fees.

This is because your choice of school for your kids will largely depend on your income level, first, and your taste & desire for quality education for your kids.

So, if your income level supports your taste, you will find yourself doling out 10 to 15% of your annual income to pay school fees. Afterall, you cant be financially well off and send your beloved kids to a public school na. Reason am.

Soon, you will see yourself making an effort to pay school fees. This is further compounded by the fact that every money you spend has an opportunity cost. This means, there is another more important thing or problem that the money could be used to solve. Yes, feeding is more important than schooling. Hard fact.

So, when you think of the other things you could do with the school fees you are about to "dash" to the school, it becomes more sacrificial and painful

Esthered:
You hear things like how can my brother watch me send his niece or nephew to public school...

descarado:
At the end of the day, too much pressure to start taking care of them from mid life when they can still work and make ends meet as parents assume its the duty of their kids to take care of them as they age. That son marry, the mum will swear he will never enjoy his marriage because she sold her left bweest to train him so he owe her his existence.
Did he tell her to give birth to him? No answer to that. Wack mentality.
Their audacity is what baffles me. You enter your son's home and become home owner, dictating that everybody should bow to you.

Esthered:
I tell colleagues that if you don't have dependent parents, you should be the most grateful.
I've told my people, instead of them to burden me that's trying to breakeven, they should just disown me.

Can't the son set boundaries to protect his home?

descarado:
Jeez
But, its better you explain yourself early.
No form saviour when you are not. That's our major problem

Onegai:
So, I'll speak on this matter

Your schoolfees reflect what you will get for your kids. Period. If you pay a little, you get a little. If you pay a lot, you get a lot more. How much more you can get from either a public or private school is entirely up to you. And this is where paying more school fees matters. Your mentality and choices are determined by the environment and people surrounding you.

Gerra.rd59, your post was spot on. But the number of Public School parents who will do what you suggested is less than 1%. The number of Private School parents who will do it is greater than 30%.

That is why when Nigerian students win competitions abroad, they are usually from wealthy homes attending nice private schools.

I teach Math and Science with a foreign curriculum, all my students live in highbrow areas. Middle class parents don't see the value in what I'm teaching. They've heard of it from wealthy parents but their mentality is still old school and traditional: Math and English taught the old Naija method, throw in some poorly coordinated "robotics" training and they're satisfied

Meanwhile, I'm prepping my 8 yr old to compete against East Asian kids and attend university at Tsinghua, MIT, Stanford or Loughborough.
My 2 year old, I'm unbothered that he can't hold a pencil (I see people from lower income schools crowing happily about their toddlers writing). Why should I be, I gave him a simplified Rubik's Cube and have been throwing so much science and math at him since he was 1.

My oldest won a medal at an international math Olympiad, I have been working on her critical thinking skills.

My mentality is a 1% and when I lived in a highbrow area, we parents constantly swapped tips and ideas on how to push our kids forward. Our kids were training academics and sports, just because we all are planning on them writing SATs and IGCSE and we know that the essay must showcase the kids perfectly.

You'll never find that kind of thinking from people who are struggling to survive or just got out of survival mode. You'll only find that from people who know that hunger is not a problem anymore.

descarado:
A lot of connections can be made outside school.
So many went to these so called good schools, how far.
Where are they today? Unless you do not notice an opportunity when its before you, even a stranger in a bus ride might open doors for you.
No be those people who went to the so called good schools I dey see here doing masters and trying to blend in with the realities life is dealing with them.
The best education your child need is confidence, competitive spirit and dedication. Without them, if you like take that child to Cambridge, someone who went to a lesser university might still make it more than him or even employ him

Idemma:
A Nigerian woman, Nenye Uzowulu, has advised parents to carefully consider the schools they send their children to, saying that school fees they struggle to pay are no longer regular tuition but “ransom.”

Nenye Uzowulu shared her thoughts on Facebook on Monday, cautioning parents against being pressured by private school owners over rising fees.

“Any school fees you struggle to pay is no longer school fees but Ransom! Take your kids to where you can afford. Same as HouseRent,” she wrote.

Explaining her reasoning, Uzowulu said she knows a woman who is constantly in debt, taking loans to pay her children’s school fees.

“I know a woman who is living in debt now. She will always collect loan to pay school fees. Like what kind of mother are you?” she added.

Source: https://www.gistreel.com/any-school-fees-you-struggle-to-pay-is-no-longer-school-fees-but-ransom-woman-tells-parents/