₦airaland Forum

Sincerely in a positive way which my children MUST follow say way

They damage your self esteem and progress

That twit has listed it all

Dopeboy8701:
Any child raise in Nigeria is 70% damaged, it takes only a miracle to survive

Na you damage o
Next time, speak for yourself and your siblings

dalass:
Newsflash... Many kids born by Nigerian parents living in US and UK are being sent back to Nigeria for schooling.

A lot of those kids raised abroad are so spoilt and emotionally fragile... It's horrible 😞

You wonder why Nigerian olodos go abroad and shine brighter than Oyinbo kids?

Louder!
Please say it louder

Growing up with really strict parents made me super disciplined, but also very cautious to the point of fear. I always worried about doing something “wrong” and disappointing them, so I became good at following rules but bad at expressing myself. Even now, I sometimes struggle with decision-making because I catch myself overthinking and asking, “Will this get me in trouble?”

At the same time, I can’t deny that it also gave me structure — I respect people, I take commitments seriously, and I know how to control myself. But as an adult, I’ve had to relearn freedom — reminding myself that I don’t need approval for everything and that it’s okay to just live.

I remain glad and Indebted to my parents for taking the pain to raise us to become who we've become today.

We are contented and believe in hard wok and proper management of time and resources available to us.

We are respectful to elders and those in authority and modest in our dressing, language and behaviour

We do not use fowl words or use names like idi*t, stup*d etc

We are confident but not arrogant

We learnt early to choose our friends wisely as our mother thought us how to choose friends who meets our criteria. We choose our friends, not the other way round

We do not engage in vices and crimes, thoughts of it is just impossible and a big no to us

We are not swayed by peer pressure as we were grown to have a mind of our own and to discern What's wrong from what's right.

We don't stray far from God almighty and believe that Jesus is lord

I became friend with my dad only when he was about to die. My mom was my favourite till death took her away

Lawalemi:
I became friend with my dad only when he was about to die. My mom was my favourite till death took her away

Nigerian dads be acting like John wick right from immemorial

Wait o..

Ya number 8... Na serious abi na joke? Whoever go dey struggle to celebrate their own wins? Na wa o..

But for no.10, you suppose know na. How many people nowadays dey truly compliment pesin? Werey dem wey go dey talk things like:

Ya cheek just dey pump out.

Money man (for those wey just dey hail you so you go buy beer for them.

Dem plenty jhor. No be say pesin no like compliment but nowadays, many of them dey suspicious. Especially guys complimenting ladies.... Check am well, baba wan "chop" kongo...

SMH

I dont womanize, i don't go to parties, i dont socialize,i don't take nonsense and i fear nobody except God.

It kills self esteem and causes overthinking. You’ll even be afraid to express yourself. I was so cautious to the point that when my teacher wanted to write a report on my result sheet, she’ll always use the remark, he’s always quiet. I was intelligent and invisible and I hated it. But apart from that, it thought and made me who I am today and I’m very grateful.

My parents where not strict. This have helped me gain good self esteem hence I engage freely with elderly ones.

Dopeboy8701:
Any child raise in Nigeria is 70% damaged, it takes only a miracle to survive

So we should raise children in the skies right?

Strict parenting has more negative impact than positive in the lives of their children.
But I would justly put it at 50/50. Some children raise by strict parents turn out good and other turn out bad.
Growing up, there was one family in my neighborhood where their mom was extremely strict, so strict it be better to be raise by the military than raise by this woman.
Funny enough her boys despite her hard hand upbringing still did engage in vices that u be shock when u get to know of their upbringing.
These resulted in her children mostly the boys to shun their mother and shower their luv on their dad who wasn't strict but raise them right. If it were left to the father those guys would have turn out right.
Sometimes strict upbringing do more harm than good to kids

Brilliancepower:
It made me an introvert and a very strict person. I don't take nonsense🙄

🤔

Growing up my mom was very strict raising me and my siblings And up till today it has imparted and affected my life negative more than the positive
She will beat us at the slightest mistake, errors or reports she hear from neighbor or people ( church ,sch etc) who reports us to her. She wouldn't listen to ur side of what happen even when the person twisted or lie to her.
If someone provoke me or my siblings that leads to physical exchange. If she hears of it u are done for. Despite hearing from witnesses that u did no wrong she will still discipline us harshly.
Having friends was a big issues with her to the extend u can't even go out with said friends or socialize with anyone even from the same neighborhood. Her excuse is that they will corrupt us. What bullshit!
Her heavyhanded upbringing affected me till today to my adulthood. Am a recluse, keep to myself a lot😭. Socializing became a big issue and it even affect my relationship with the opposite sex.😓
Can't say much of my dad. Never had that fatherly bond with him and he never was there when I needed him.😞
Pray never to have them as parents ever if I were to come to this life again.😠😠😠

SpencerForbes:
It kills self esteem and causes overthinking. You’ll even be afraid to express yourself. I was so cautious to the point that when my teacher wanted to write a report on my result sheet, she’ll always use the remark, he’s always quiet. I was intelligent and invisible and I hated it.

This is me growing and having to go through what u are experiencing.😓 Everything u wrote above depicts me to the tee.

Parents have to be balanced in training their kids, standards and principles must be upheld in families, with kids allowed a level of supervised liberties.
But at the end there is no perfect formula for training perfect kids, parents raise their children based on their best beliefs.

t made me who I am today and I don't compromise even when I'm lacking. Proud of my parents..

Chilipepper:
My people that were raised by extremely strict parents, how has that affected you as an adult?

It made me rebellious as an adult cos childhood was traumatic for me.......

Interesting topic.

Maurindo:
I remain glad and Indebted to my parents for taking the pain to raise us to become who we've become today.

We are contented and believe in hard wok and proper management of time and resources available to us.

We are respectful to elders and those in authority and modest in our dressing, language and behaviour

We do not use fowl words or use names like idi*t, stup*d etc

We are confident but not arrogant

We learnt early to choose our friends wisely as our mother thought us how to choose friends who meets our criteria. We choose our friends, not the other way round

We do not engage in vices and crimes, thoughts of it is just impossible and a big no to us

We are not swayed by peer pressure as we were grown to have a mind of our own and to discern What's wrong from what's right.

We don't stray far from God almighty and believe that Jesus is lord

I don’t know but it sounds like your parents were grounded in their principles and guiding their children accordingly. You can call them strict but your comment differs from many others here in which the parents are described as overly harsh. Were your parents firm and affectionate or firm and cold?

Aragon001:
This is me growing and having to go through what u are experiencing.😓 Everything u wrote above depicts me to the tee.

I don’t pray to train my child in that way. I was so slow that even my aunt will tell me I’m intelligent but not wise or street smart cos I always took time thinking than acting. It still shows it shadows now in all my relationships. I’ve lost some good girls due to overthinking and being overly observant even when I don’t want to. My trust issues is also 1000%.

I’m still trying to change from it tho but it’s really hard.

It doesn’t matter how you were raised. At some point in life you have to unlearn and move beyond trauma. Men forgive your Dad, stop transferring aggression. If you strive to attain perfection daily you’ll only get better daily.

Being raised by extremely strict parents can affect a child's self-confidence.

we dont want to go back home now as an adult

Kobojunkie:
You mean like the many celebrities and children of politicians in Nigeria today? Just curious!

Those aren't particularly good examples of people doing well in life.

Kobojunkie:
Your friend is probably lucky she did not engage any of those men you introduced to her. Those Passport-brothers you introduced to her would have likely sealed her death or regret in marriage. A woman should remain single rather than running around filled with regret in marriage.

You still haven't repented from insisting that marriage is inherently bad? Why do you insist on being this allergic to all things hourable and good?

Africans still have yet to normalize divorce, so it is difficult for many to get out once they are trapped in such situations.

---

Good to know Africans are decent enough to still insist that divorce is mostly an indication of laziness, delusion and poor choices on the part of those who seek it and as a result, count it as unfortunate and do not celebrate it. You are the one who won't succeed in indoctrinate human kind against its own good.

On another note, something tells me that this woman telling this story is herself a single-married woman, seeing as she is all wrapped up in tales of Boaz and all that religious nonsense— religious delusions —, while openly demeaning her friend for having standards.

There is no such thing as a ''single-married woman''. That is a prase coined by you in order to create a non existent state, status or phenomenon.

The friend is only being delusional; if not, why then did she start regreting it and get jealous when the pastor moved on and got married? That is not ''having a standard'', what ever that means, it is being delusional and the very fact you are on her side, is the evidence to show that i was right when I insinuated that you are up to no good with all the indoctrinations you've been peddling here.

SpencerForbes:
I don’t pray to train my child in that way. I was so slow that even my aunt will tell me I’m intelligent but not wise or street smart cos I always took time thinking than acting. It still shows it shadows now in all my relationships. I’ve lost some good girls due to overthinking and being overly observant even when I don’t want to. My trust issues is also 1000%.

I’m still trying to change from it tho but it’s really hard.

my bro i can feel what you're going through. I'm also a victim. I'm overly aware of my surroundings, people, things even when I just don't want to! What about very low self esteem? Na me be that! I really struggle to flow with people especially adults cos of the fear already ingrained in me right from kid. Even at close to 30 now i still dey fear some adults. It's that bad

Also lost the ability to express myself freely and openly out of fear of being castigated ehn

I've been trying to readjust myself now that I'm an adult but guys i tell u, it's very hard to change that childhood mentality

Please let your children express themselves freely and always be very careful when correcting them! Don't be too strict with them

Sometimes i always wonder how some people easily flow along with total strangers until i discover that the deed had already been done to me when I was kid and now brain is now operating on the OS

It's bad