₦airaland Forum

I have some people I called friends that do not return visits or hardly call or don't call at all to check up on me but I consistently went to visit them and check up on them to see how they are faring.
I have told them that their habit of not reciprocating visits is an act of lack of concern about my welfare but they haven't changed.

I decided to snub them because they would add no value to my personality with their lack of concern about my welfare by never calling to check up on me or visiting me.





Would you keep a friendship going if the other person doesn't change their behavior after you've expressed your feelings?

Iamheretolearn:
I have some people I called friends that do not return visits or hardly call or don't call at all to check up on me but I consistently went to visit them and check up on them to see how they are faring. I have told them that their habit of not reciprocating visits is an act of lack of concern about my welfare but they haven't changed. I decided to snub them because they would add no value to my personality with their lack of concern about my welfare by never calling to check up on me or visiting me. Would you keep a friendship going if the other person doesn't change their behavior after you've expressed your feelings?

You should not be trying to force people to be friends with you. Friendships are supposed to be formed with people with whom you share common interests and extraordinary bonds, not with people whom you think you can manipulate or force into doing as you would prefer them to. If you do not share interests or extraordinary bonds with these people, then move on from them.

Also, it is completely OK to cut ties with friends who do not share the same interests or values that you do. No need to snob them as if you are doing them some kind of favor by being so childish.

You for don cut me off...

And snub me since if I was your friend. I hardly call or visit anyone.

It's something I don't do intentionally and it's not a lack of concern. I'm trying to work on it though!

Kobojunkie:
You should not be trying to force people to be friends with you. Friendships are supposed to be formed with people with whom you share common interests and extraordinary bonds, not with people whom you think you can manipulate or force into doing as you would prefer them to. If you do not share interests or extraordinary bonds with these people, then move on from them.

Also, it is completely OK to cut ties with friends who do not share the same interests or values that you do. No need to snob them as if you are doing them some kind of favor by being so childish.

Well said!
Especially the shared interest and extraordinary bonds point .

However,I didn't understand your last sentence.Can you shed more light as to what you meant?

Iamheretolearn:
I have some people I called friends that do not return visits or hardly call or don't call at all to check up on me but I consistently went to visit them and check up on them to see how they are faring.
I have told them that their habit of not reciprocating visits is an act of lack of concern about my welfare but they haven't changed.

I decided to snub them because they would add no value to my personality with their lack of concern about my welfare by never calling to check up on me or visiting me.





Would you keep a friendship going if the other person doesn't change their behavior after you've expressed your feelings?

Don't you know we are wired differently.I don't have that drive to visit but I welcome and value those that visits me

Iamheretolearn:
➜Well said! Especially the shared interest and extraordinary bonds point . However,I didn't understand your last sentence.Can you shed more light as to what you meant?

It is childish to snub others.

Iamheretolearn:
I have some people I called friends that do not return visits or hardly call or don't call at all to check up on me but I consistently went to visit them and check up on them to see how they are faring.
I have told them that their habit of not reciprocating visits is an act of lack of concern about my welfare but they haven't changed.

I decided to snub them because they would add no value to my personality with their lack of concern about my welfare by never calling to check up on me or visiting me.





Would you keep a friendship going if the other person doesn't change their behavior after you've expressed your feelings?

Friendship is by choice not by force, you can't force anyone on your self, know this and have peace of mind.
This is what some of our younger generation fails to learn in a relationship, they keep forcing their self on the partners that don't deserve them, and the partner keep using them as an option and keep exploiting them for their personal gains.
When the gains is no longer coming, they move on to the next available persons and you see people crying, even committing suicide just because their partner backup with them.

This guy reasons like a woman. Men hardly visit each other. We know the bars where we meet and then everyone goes home. I have guys that we've been tight for years but we hardly visit each other but some how, we see just about everyday. Occasionally, we might visit one of our paddy's house to smoke a blunt but that's about it.

How lazy and jobless are you that you are visiting friends all the time?

OP, don't let anyone lie to you about men. There is no difference between men and women when it comes to paying each other visits. Just as there are females who don't have a problem visiting friends regularly, there are equally males who do the same. You just need to find the right friends who don't believe they are belittled by stepping out of themselves for their own friends.

I try as much as possible not to visit People unless there's a valid reason to.

I can't squander my time, going to friends houses to gist and co... We could do that online nau...


Stay in your lane, Avoid see finish....


Na feel at home make visitor go spoil remote...

Try to be unavailable sometimes , see if they will look for you.
If they don’t, then they don’t want you around.

Why must it always be the other persons fault?

Have you thougt that the do not return because of your problems? Are you a boring person or always complaining or moaning.
When you talk does everything have to be about you.
Are you a beggar always borrowing stuff or money.

There is a reason and it is most likely you not all the other people.

My stop complaining,me I don't visit people and my pastor was angry that I don't call him.
They don't visit you doesn't mean that they don't care,or you want the that'll visit you and also plan to kill you. 😡🤬

Baronthecelebri:
My stop complaining,me I don't visit people and my pastor was angry that I don't call him.
They don't visit you doesn't mean that they don't care,or you want the that'll visit you and also plan to kill you. 😡🤬

Was your pastor angry that you did not visit him

or was he angry that you did not gift him money towards new car or biggerr house?

I'm guilty of this... I only call when necessary, I'm not used to calling people just to exchange pleasantries. My family and best friend used to complain a lot back when I was in varsity about my lack of concern, but just because I hardly call or visit, it doesn't mean I have issues with you, it's just my nature and I can't help it... I enjoy my space, even in varsity, it was my friends who were visiting me, not the other way around, but they didn't seem to mind because there was always plenty of food and drinks in the refrigerator for them to eat and drink, sometimes I'd even buy them takeaways...

I take after my mother.

Iamheretolearn:
I have some people I called friends that do not return visits or hardly call or don't call at all to check up on me but I consistently went to visit them and check up on them to see how they are faring.
I have told them that their habit of not reciprocating visits is an act of lack of concern about my welfare but they haven't changed.

I decided to snub them because they would add no value to my personality with their lack of concern about my welfare by never calling to check up on me or visiting me.





Would you keep a friendship going if the other person doesn't change their behavior after you've expressed your feelings?

I think you already provided answers to your question. They were probably not your friends to begin with.
.. like "Johnny Walker" said, keep on moving.

Dogalmighty17:
This guy reasons like a woman. Men hardly visit each other. We know the bars where we meet and then everyone goes home. I have guys that we've been tight for years but we hardly visit each other but some how, we see just about everyday. Occasionally, we might visit one of our paddy's house to smoke a blunt but that's about it.

How lazy and jobless are you that you are visiting friends all the time?

Perhaps those he was accusing sees him as distraction, because I wonder how a full grown man will be complaining bitterly about people not visiting him as if his house is a theatre.

You better stop this attitude if you love yourself, this days that majority of people are fake.