₦airaland Forum

AngelSlay:
From DM
My husband earns about 800k monthly. He gives me 200k for the home, and we have three kids. Then he gives me 60k to give to the kids to take to school till it's finished and then he gives 100k for me to use for petty expenses (electricity and other unforeseen needs that may rise, like buying a pill or socks or anything petty).

That makes a total of 360k. So he keeps 440k for himself.

So recently, I asked him to show me his account balance since he has always kept that much to himself, but he ignored me.

So I later went to check the account myself and saw he had just about 14M there. Meanwhile it's been over three years and I was expecting to see more.

He eats at home except lunch. He doesn't do anything except send money to his parents and mine once a while and pay the kids school fees thrice in a year and it's nothing more than 300k for a term.

He may help his siblings, but that's also once a while.

So I demanded he explain how he had only 14M in his account. This man started to gaslight me. Asking if he ever asked me how much I had in my account and talking about my 130k salary.


We haven't spoke for days because of this issue and he won't even apologise and explain himself.

Can you believe he told me this morning to leave the marriage if I want to because he's never going to talk about the money with me?

Is this a serious man who wants a future for his family?

Should I leave? I've decided to leave. This is serious.

Question:
Should she leave or stay?

Meerahbel:
I understand the need for accountability from the poster, ....

Meerahbel:
I understand the need for accountability from the poster, but if he isn't forthcoming with explanations then I think you should let him be.
I honestly think the man is trying, asides from the feeding and kids upkeep he gives to you, he is in charge of paying rent, paying school fees, taking care of the parents from both side, transportation or car fueling, occasional lunch for himself, and he still manages to have something saved up in just 3 years.

If anything, I think you should encourage him, and possibly ask him politely. And as for accountability, he who ask for equity must come with clean hands, have you been accountable to him on how you spend your salary?
If not, then I think you both need to sit down and have this discussion. Whatever is happening is not enough to leave the marriage.
In all of this, learn to count your blessings.

AngelSlay:
From DM
My husband earns about 800k monthly. He gives me 200k for the home, and we have three kids. Then he gives me 60k to give to the kids to take to school till it's finished and then he gives 100k for me to use for petty expenses (electricity and other unforeseen needs that may rise, like buying a pill or socks or anything petty).

That makes a total of 360k. So he keeps 440k for himself.

So recently, I asked him to show me his account balance since he has always kept that much to himself, but he ignored me.

So I later went to check the account myself and saw he had just about 14M there. Meanwhile it's been over three years and I was expecting to see more.

He eats at home except lunch. He doesn't do anything except send money to his parents and mine once a while and pay the kids school fees thrice in a year and it's nothing more than 300k for a term.

He may help his siblings, but that's also once a while.

So I demanded he explain how he had only 14M in his account. This man started to gaslight me. Asking if he ever asked me how much I had in my account and talking about my 130k salary.


We haven't spoke for days because of this issue and he won't even apologise and explain himself.

Can you believe he told me this morning to leave the marriage if I want to because he's never going to talk about the money with me?

Is this a serious man who wants a future for his family?

Should I leave? I've decided to leave. This is serious.

Question:
Should she leave or stay?

AngelSlay:
✓ So I demanded he explain how he had only 14M in his account. This man started to gaslight me. Asking if he ever asked me how much I had in my account and talking about my 130k salary. We haven't spoke for days because of this issue and he won't even apologise and explain himself. Can you believe he told me this morning to leave the marriage if I want to because he's never going to talk about the money with me? Is this a serious man who wants a future for his family? Should I leave? I've decided to leave. This is serious. Question: Should she leave or stay?

We4all:
I am still trying to understand what the fuss is about, but, I am at a loss for words. Some women don't value their responsible partners until another smart woman snatches him from them. Your husband is not a dead beat, has an impressive savings culture, but you are still not contented with what God has blessed you with.

AngelSlay:
...We haven't spoke for days because of this issue and he won't even apologise and explain himself.
Can you believe he told me this morning to leave the marriage if I want to because he's never going to talk about the money with me? ...

Meerahbel:
I understand the need for accountability from the poster, but if he isn't forthcoming with explanations then I think you should let him be.
I honestly think the man is trying, asides from the feeding and kids upkeep he gives to you, he is in charge of paying rent, paying school fees, taking care of the parents from both side, transportation or car fueling, occasional lunch for himself, and he still manages to have something saved up in just 3 years.

If anything, I think you should encourage him, and possibly ask him politely. And as for accountability, he who ask for equity must come with clean hands, have you been accountable to him on how you spend your salary?
If not, then I think you both need to sit down and have this discussion. Whatever is happening is not enough to leave the marriage.
In all of this, learn to count your blessings.

Kobojunkie:
A man literally tells his wife to leave, yet you think she should remain?
Because he makes more money, she should simply cling to him even after what he said? In relationships, women should have boundaries that they should never allow anyone to violate; women should have standards that they should never lower.

ibechris:
Stay in ur marriage pls.

This shows u are a good wife but some people men are like that.

Any man that refuses to discuss his financial future with his wife is spiritually single.

U can't claimed to be married and still hide ur money with your wife.
I mean,she is not saying u should bring it for u guys to eat,yet u are feeling she is not worth knowing it.

ChybuzzDD:
This notorious woman wrapper!
Are you aware that the women receives 130k monthly?
Did you care to ask why she hasn't been contributing to the family's upkeep but is only focusing on the husband

AngelSlay:
From DM
My husband earns about 800k monthly. He gives me 200k for the home, and we have three kids. Then he gives me 60k to give to the kids to take to school till it's finished and then he gives 100k for me to use for petty expenses (electricity and other unforeseen needs that may rise, like buying a pill or socks or anything petty).

That makes a total of 360k. So he keeps 440k for himself.

So recently, I asked him to show me his account balance since he has always kept that much to himself, but he ignored me.

So I later went to check the account myself and saw he had just about 14M there. Meanwhile it's been over three years and I was expecting to see more.

He eats at home except lunch. He doesn't do anything except send money to his parents and mine once a while and pay the kids school fees thrice in a year and it's nothing more than 300k for a term.

He may help his siblings, but that's also once a while.

So I demanded he explain how he had only 14M in his account. This man started to gaslight me. Asking if he ever asked me how much I had in my account and talking about my 130k salary.


We haven't spoke for days because of this issue and he won't even apologise and explain himself.

Can you believe he told me this morning to leave the marriage if I want to because he's never going to talk about the money with me?

Is this a serious man who wants a future for his family?

Should I leave? I've decided to leave. This is serious.

Question:
Should she leave or stay?

We4all:
✓ Nah...there is a difference between: "you can leave if you want to". and "pack your bags and get out of my house."[b][/b] ....

ibechris:
U can't claimed to be married and still hide ur money with your wife.

Divaan:
Are you for real? Your husband gives you that much money for upkeep, money you don't have to work/slave for and you want to start a fight because you saw 14m savings he has. Are you serious or na poverty dey blind my eyes? If it has been 3 years like you say and your husband has 14M, that means he saves roughly 400k every month from his 440k upkeep. Are you expecting him to save more? Maybe you should introduce investment platforms for him to invest his money instead of throwing tantrums before you use your hand to end your marriage. You'd be surprise how many ladies will gladly accept his proposal once you leave. Of course, your husband might have other stuffs he's putting money in but that shouldn't bother you. You're getting enough for your needs and wants. Some women have more kids, earn less than a 100k and don't have husbands who sponsor them and they're surviving.

Go and apologise to your husband. No let village people end your marriage.

kodix:
Plz leave so that a good woman will come and stay,bye dear,a man that is responsible like this,do all his work and still have big change not even puting eye in yours bcs you earn 130k too which is big to put in sch fees/feeding but he didn't mind and do all these things,without demanding for any,and you're busy giving trouble, please go,so that the man will rest from your toxicity.