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Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. - Family - Nairaland

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Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by AmTruth: 11:31am On Feb 06
For me I think women always get it wrong in saying no one should visit them when they are married, especially husband's relative.

As a married man I don't think after the support some of our relations gave to us before marriage should lead us not accepting them to our home because we're married. This sends a wrong signal about a wife and people should take note of this.

My wife has been very comfortable allowing my younger ones staying with us because during our courtship she knows I don't joke with my relations especially my parents and younger ones and I defined it to my relations also that no one jokes with my wife.

So in the house, everyone knows his boundaries And we are all Happy and my wife confesses that too. But that doesn't mean that sometimes misunderstanding doesn't come No!

Women should understand that these our relations have played very important role in the major parts of our lives. So meeting you as a wife in a later path of my life should make me deny their access to my home would not be easily possible.

Summit to your husband's decision on the home staying matter, if you want to have a happy married life.

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by madridguy(m): 11:51am On Feb 06
Women should understand that these our relations have played very important role in the major parts of our lives.

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Blu03: 11:56am On Feb 06
It's really annoying. Noone should delibrately ruin the relationship of partners with his/her relatives.

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Tonyfx: 11:56am On Feb 06
You're right but it's not everyone's relations that may be as understanding as yours and respect each others boundaries. Trust me I've seen and I'm not talking about nollywood movies

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by AmTruth: 12:05pm On Feb 06
That's why I said that misunderstanding is inevitable, but women must learn to tolerate it for them to truly have a happy married life.
Tonyfx:
You're right but it's not everyone's relations that may be as understanding as yours and respect each others boundaries. Trust me I've seen and I'm not talking about nollywood movies

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Meeyankee(m): 12:14pm On Feb 06
People like Bukatyne will not like this thread.you married to a weak man who will allowed his family to visit him because he has taken one over used lady from the street that is not even a Virgin. You guys should take not of this lady with this moniker Bukatyne she is a very bad wicked lady.who doesn’t allow her in-laws to visit their brother because of her own selfish interest.

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by bigiyaro(m): 12:17pm On Feb 06
OP u are very correct, after ur blood family have finished raising and molding u, one woman will enter and start forming 'my husband' while she was never there in the beginning. some migth even leave when the going gets very rough but ur blood family will still be dia for u, they were around when u have nothing and will still be around when u have everything, a woman was complaining about soup in one thread because of the Hubby's brother, what if it was her own Darling junior brother? Let us beware of such stingy and self-centered women.

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by AmTruth: 12:28pm On Feb 06
If only some of them know the sacrifices some of our relations have made in contributing to whom they married, they would even prefer marrying them to us
madridguy:
Women should understand that these our relations have played very important role in the major parts of our lives.

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Papasmal(m): 12:29pm On Feb 06
So sad that some ladies of nowadays are desperate and trying to bite more than they can chew....

If as a man you can't set boundaries you are a weak man....if you can't accommodate my dear relations who doesn't pose threat to our marriage,then there's no reason getting married to me the first place,


after my mama sell all rapper to cater for me,I carried ponpon n shovel to do odd jobs with my brother to get knowledge n acquire skills....one agaracha monkey babe will now try turn them to my enemy God forbid...

I thank God for blessing me with a good wife though..We are all one big family,made me to love her more.

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Meeyankee(m): 12:30pm On Feb 06
bigiyaro:
OP u are very correct, after ur blood family have finished raising and molding u, one woman will enter and start forming 'my husband' while she was never there in the beginning. some migth even leave when the going gets very rough but ur blood family will still be dia for u, they were around when u have nothing and will still be around when u have everything, a woman was complaining about soup in one thread because of the Hubby's brother, what if it was her own Darling junior brother? Let us beware of such stingy and self-centered women.
I tire for those selfish living things. When 90% of them only know man when the going is fine and money is involved.once money finish them go jap efcc, but the man and his family has been together for more than 30 years managing life. One thing that really gave lesson about woman is the way they treat their maid, they way they treat others people children living with them. Whenever you gets to woman house the first throng you notice is how she treat other people’s children living with her. Woman treat others people children like trash and give them oversized clothes to wear.

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by JONNYSPUTE(m): 12:57pm On Feb 06
Op you are right. Let's not blame the women rather we should blame the simps that calls themselve husbands that always agree to such requests.

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Triniti(m): 1:48pm On Feb 06
it’s only unintelligent women that I see fighting over kitchen and food, creating boundaries where there should be none. When you taste real wealth, you will know that food is meant to be eaten when cooked and a man siblings is part and parcel of him that no one should ever try to cut off

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by mumumugu(m): 1:50pm On Feb 06
two strangers who have never cohabited should spend first few years alone .......much later, relations can come.


some relation can scatter family earlier

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by ITbomb(m): 1:54pm On Feb 06
No one, not even my brother and sister should put hand in my pot of soup and take out meat, it is courtesy and family ethics.
For someone like me brought up with this mentality, I can't even stand it be you who
bigiyaro:
OP u are very correct, after ur blood family have finished raising and molding u, one woman will enter and start forming 'my husband' while she was never there in the beginning. some migth even leave when the going gets very rough but ur blood family will still be dia for u, they were around when u have nothing and will still be around when u have everything, a woman was complaining about soup in one thread because of the Hubby's brother, what if it was her own Darling junior brother? Let us beware of such stingy and self-centered women.

60 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by AmTruth: 1:58pm On Feb 06
My wife's relations have rights to come to my house[quote author=mumumugu post=86426229][/quote]

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Michellekabod2(f): 2:08pm On Feb 06
Blu03:
It's really annoying. Noone should delibrately ruin the relationship of partners with his/her relatives.
sometimes its intolerance and selfishness from the spouse side.
Most ladies don't let their husbands mother visiting but they will want their own mothers visiting. They endure all excesses from their own family members but when its their husband own family they will nag over irrelevant things. I have never seen a Nigerian man quarrel or nag over his wife family visiting its always the women complaining.
I am not denying the fact that some in laws may be problematic,but if a man can have his wife sibling live with them why should a lady have an issue with her husband sibling coming over?

No husband will stop my family from visiting. He himself will be free to bring his own family

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Michellekabod2(f): 2:10pm On Feb 06
ITbomb:
No one, not even my brother and sister should put hand in my pot of soup and take out meat, it is courtesy and family ethics.
For someone like me brought up with this mentality, I can't even stand it be you who
exactly ,if you wanna make rules or be strict let it apply to both sides(his family and your family) since you both own the home

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Blu03: 2:24pm On Feb 06
Michellekabod2:
sometimes its intolerance and selfishness from the spouse side.
Most ladies don't let their husbands mother visiting but they will want their own mothers visiting. They endure all excesses from their own family members but when its their husband own family they will nag over irrelevant things. I have never seen a Nigerian man quarrel or nag over his wife family visiting its always the women complaining.
I am not denying the fact that some in laws may be problematic,but if a man can have his wife sibling live with them why should a lady have an issue with her husband sibling coming over?

No husband will stop my family from visiting. He himself will be free to bring his own family
Exactly. It's common with women. Funny thing is that the husband would most likely be sponsoring his wife's siblings to school and all that.
I dislike women who come between their husband and his mother. I can't stand it.

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by JONNYSPUTE(m): 2:33pm On Feb 06
Michellekabod2:
sometimes its intolerance and selfishness from the spouse side.
Most ladies don't let their husbands mother visiting but they will want their own mothers visiting. They endure all excesses from their own family members but when its their husband own family they will nag over irrelevant things. I have never seen a Nigerian man quarrel or nag over his wife family visiting its always the women complaining.
I am not denying the fact that some in laws may be problematic,but if a man can have his wife sibling live with them why should a lady have an issue with her husband sibling coming over?

No husband will stop my family from visiting. He himself will be free to bring his own family
.. Agreed. But I still find it weird that a man whose in-laws are free to come to his house and stay will be scared to allow his own siblings to come around due to what the wife will say or how she will react.

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by AshiraWealthy(f): 2:36pm On Feb 06
To come and stay as what? Do these relatives not have their own homes? I for one find I difficult staying with couples or another family.
We should respect other peoples privacy. I dont like people invading my privacy even as a single talk more as a married couple.
Come visit and go that very day. If by error, you stayed till late, by next morning you should be off.

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by realokopi(m): 2:38pm On Feb 06
Noted. Marry them instead na.

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Jokerman(m): 3:09pm On Feb 06
This is a foolish write up.... I pity you... Try these and see how your end will be

Relatives can visit but not come to live with you.. Rent a room for them...

A word is enough

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by JONNYSPUTE(m): 3:15pm On Feb 06
AshiraWealthy:
To come and stay as what? Do these relatives not have their own homes? I for one find I difficult staying with couples or another family.
We should respect other peoples privacy. I dont like people invading my privacy even as a single talk more as a married couple.
Come visit and go that very day. If by error, you stayed till late, by next morning you should be off.

.. Including your siblings?

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by AmTruth: 3:19pm On Feb 06
If what you call INVADING YOUR PRIVACY means depriving relative a Stay or Visit, then don't Marry us as the article says.
But one would like to know the real definition of this PRIVACY.
AshiraWealthy:
To come and stay as what? Do these relatives not have their own homes? I for one find I difficult staying with couples or another family.
We should respect other peoples privacy. I dont like people invading my privacy even as a single talk more as a married couple.
Come visit and go that very day. If by error, you stayed till late, by next morning you should be off.

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by AshiraWealthy(f): 3:22pm On Feb 06
JONNYSPUTE:
.. Including your siblings?
AmTruth:
If what you call INVADING YOUR PRIVACY means depriving relative a Stay or Visit, then don't Marry us as the article says.
But one would like to know the real definition of this PRIVACY.

I'm not marrying any of you two. So I owe both of you no explanation.

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by JONNYSPUTE(m): 3:26pm On Feb 06
AshiraWealthy:


I'm not marrying any of you two. So I owe both of you no explanation.
. Theirs always a simp out there for people like you so I'm not surprised.

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by AmTruth: 3:26pm On Feb 06
What's the need when you have a house that can accommodate them.
You don't need to pity a family that this system is tested and happily working for them.
Jokerman:
This is a foolish write up.... I pity you... Try these and see how your end will be

Relatives can visit but not come to live with you.. Rent a room for them...

A word is enough

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Offpoint: 3:27pm On Feb 06
Lol, I don't see any woman capable of stopping my relatives visitations OR staying... it's not negotiable, not even in a sec.

They got my back from age zero, I met you halfway...
Respect your boundaries, accord them same respect you wish and they'll reciprocate. If you Do any how, don't expect my intervention. I know them better than you, I know what they can do and what they can't.

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Waterview: 3:29pm On Feb 06
Jokerman:
This is a foolish write up.... I pity you... Try these and see how your end will be

Relatives can visit but not come to live with you.. Rent a room for them...

A word is enough
Stick to anything related to asslicking CR7 but not intelligent discussions like this.

Although you're entitled to your own opinion but I'll still have to tackle you on this........

I see no reason why my lovely extended family (my sweet mum, lovely siblings and most importantly my Grandma) shouldn't stay with me.

In this era of conditional love ( people only get married because of what they'll get, especially women), one shouldn't ignore those who stood by him during the trying times for a wife ( probably a non virgin who decided to settle down after exploring all sexual fantasies).

I will always treat my wife and extended family equally.

The era of true love is over.

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by AmTruth: 3:30pm On Feb 06
Thanks for your understanding.
Though I am married already. So when you meet him who wants to marry you,ask him about this rules before saying Yes my Love I will Marry you.
AshiraWealthy:


I'm not marrying any of you two. So I owe both of you no explanation.

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by MhizzV(f): 3:35pm On Feb 06
Rules are meant to be followed not broken...for every rule my husband will impose on ma family,it will be applicable to his...and any rule I impose on his family, will be applicable to mine too...

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by AmTruth: 3:37pm On Feb 06
You said it all Bro.
But cool your temper by avoiding language like Asslicking please. You Don big pass this level na.
Waterview:
Stick to anything related to asslicking CR7 but not intelligent discussions like this.

Although you're entitled to your own opinion but I'll still have to tackle you on this........

I see no reason why my lovely extended family (my sweet mum, lovely siblings and most importantly my Grandma) shouldn't stay with me.

In this era of conditional love ( people only get married because of what they'll get, especially women), one shouldn't ignore those who stood by him during the trying times for a wife ( probably a non virgin who decided to settle down after exploring all sexual fantasies).

I will always treat my wife and extended family equally.

The era of true love is over.

5 Likes

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