₦airaland Forum

if im your sis
i go come that house con give u dirty slap before i block and delete all of una......
just see the ingrates she has been labouring for.....
common sense is not common......
you no even suppose touch that money without speaking to her first....

This is one of the most egregiously ungrateful, cognitively dissonant things I've ever read in my entire life. This is what people mean by you can't help folks anymore - because they just end up becoming entitled. No one has to provide anything for you and you showed your sister she was never appreciated. Just seen as a living, breathing ATM. You are a grown man, figure it out as though that's what you are.

Good luck.

zuby4real10:
What i did not understand here is that why did you offence affected the rest siblings?

She has assumed all others won't be different

dominique:
You made her realise that she's dealing with the "what did you even do for me" type of siblings. It's not until things go sour for you that you realise that your siblings never rated you, it's when things look up for such siblings. It's your types that will turn your backs against her if fortunes were reversed, she did well by keeping a safe distance from you all.

Your mum died and it was your sister that took up the role of sponsoring you not your dad, that means your mum was the financial muscle of your family (nairaland men swear with their lives that Nigerian women bring NOTHING to the table btw). How was she treated? Was she appreciated by your dad and siblings? I'm almost certain your mum died unloved, unappreciated and disregarded by your dad and siblings. Your sister must have seen this and doesn't want to follow her footsteps.

Typical Nigerian woman with plenty of unrealistic assumptions, all these things you said here can't even be infected from the passage, why not heal from your trauma

This is one of the reasons I stopped talking to a half sister and ironically, she too has stopped calling me because I stopped calling her.

But in my own case, I have not invested too much on her. But it really hurts because when I was giving, not just money o, I did not have much. I was literally giving out of nothing I had and was happy doing that thinking I was helping a family member.

It really opened my eyes.

You are ungrateful.

Kobojunkie:
➜ You have a father, ...., but your sister had to step in to parent you all, yet you don't see what you did wrong? You even went as far as to give a stepmother money, too?
➜You had 500k to give away to a church as Nigeria dey so, yet you don't see what you may have done wrong?

[b]May this kain sibling never happen to me! [/b]

Bot dey get sibbling

Meanwhile, for the very first time in your existence as a bot, you made some sense in your post. Kudos to the technology that has helped to refine and even ''humanize'' bots

Beerbeer:
Please know what you're saying. I have always been grateful to her for everything she has done. This is the first time I have ever messed up.

Lol! This first one is a major one, guy! You don't understand what being grateful means. I probably wouldn't have reacted this much if I was in her shoes but mehn, you mes+sed up big time. I didn't even see anywhere in your post where you even tried to appreciate her from the money you got. She fit no even collect am, but at least, make her feel appreciated. Carry her along with the way you want to spend the money..The whole thing to her would feel like you only recognize her when you need something,.now that you think you have arrived, she means nothing to you. You didn't do well at all!

Beerbeer:
We are four siblings in my family: two boys who are twins and two girls. When my mum passed, my elder sister stood in as a parent for us. She paid for our university education and sent us monthly allowances for feeding. In fact, three of us would have dropout if not for her. Even when I graduated from school, she was still sending me 30k every month, pending when I get a job. This is in addition to also sending same to my siblings and my father. She has done this for close to 10 years without complaint.

Recently, I finished a project that paid me 2.1 million. This is how I spent the money:
I gave 500k to my church to thank them for getting me the job.
300k to my father.
100k to my stepmum.
100k to my second sister.
Bought 700k laptop to help with my coding job.
I used the rest to pay rent, change my wardrobe, clearance from school, and feeding.

My elder sister found out from my twin brother and got angry because I didn't tell her anything about the job or the money. She was also angry because I didn't set aside money for my twin brother going to law school this year.

To be honest, I didn't think it was a big deal to tell her. I knew my twin was in safe hands cos she was already handling that so I didn't bother. Before now, she had already paid the law school fees (about 500k). So I thought it was settled. I tried to reason with her but she refused to hear.

She was also angry I didn't tell her about the laptop. I knew I messed up here because she was the one that encouraged me to pick up coding and even bought my first laptop. I told her I wanted to finalize everything but it made her angry tye more. She blocked me and I also found out she blocked everyone else including our father.

All these happened in April. I thought she would calm down by now. But I just discovered that she has moved out of our state without telling anyone. She has blocked all the numbers we tried to reach her.

My twin brother said she only sends him allowance for law school (100k every month) and has blocked his number so he won't contact her. He is the only person she sends money to now as she has stopped giving us as before.

I am so confused. Why is she acting like this? Shouldn't she be happy for me? Nairalanders help me.

To whom much is given, much is expected.
Ur family had been there before the church. Ur family stood by u and prepared u for the opportunity.
Honestly, u really goofed. And possibly the church will provide for u a sister better than ur sister.
Even if u are lobbying to be a pastor in ur church doesn’t make ur family less.
Infact u are on ur own, God help in ur new adventure of ingratitude.

Earlier commenters have done justice to this but let me give you the excuse that the joy of hitting your first million overwhelm you and you wanted to make everyone happy but forgot your rich sister.

This is the only place I see you did mistake - Giving 500k to church.

It's too much even though they help you secure the job, you shouldn't give more than 10% to church (210k) , not even 11%.

So, here is the solution;

Go and collect the remaining 290k from church, add 10k to it and immediately go give the 300k to your sister with thorough explanation and begging that you acted out of naivety.

Thanks.

Beerbeer, do you have your elder sister's email?

If you do, please send her this:

"Dear Sis, how are you?

I wanted to see how you're doing. We're fine here.

Please, may I say how sorry I am for what happened between us? I should have informed you of my success, after all, you encouraged me to go into Tech. You probably also prayed for me. You've done so much for me, for us as a family since Mumsi passed away. And I can never repay you.

And I know I should have done better. I'm so sorry.

Please, sis, can I take the burden off you a little by (insert your younger sisters names here) handling their allowance? You can't do this on your own and I want to see you, my sister, happy and enjoying her hard work. God know, Nigeria is very hard nowadays. Let me help.

Someone once said that eldest sisters are your 2nd mother and in you, I find that to be true.

If you don't wish to reply this, I will understand. I will always love you, no matter what.

Please take good care of yourself.

Warm regards,
Beerbeer"


And the next job you get, give her 1/4 of what you earn, and let her be the first to know, via email. Even if she doesn't reply.

And when she eventually unblocks you, make it a monthly habit to credit her phone with like N10k.

It's not about the money, it's the thought that counts. It's very hard to be a provider and people like being appreciated. You didn't appreciate her and she's deeply hurt. And you're selfishly expecting her to get over it and be happy for you. Sure, forgiveness is always good, but you too, shake bodi with repentance.

What you did was very wrong, forget about her and move on.

Kylekent59:
Why you go give church #500k?
This is ridiculous!

10% of 2.1M is 210k

You Bleep up.

use the remaining give your sister 300k for the help.

He betrayed his elder sister by not telling her, I guess that was what angered her. the same sister that was feeding him and helping him to fulfil his dreams. the guy messed up completely. also giving 500k to church, like seriously?

YoobaNesan:
Earlier commenters have done justice to this but let me give you the excuse that the joy of hitting your first million overwhelm you and you wanted to make everyone happy but forgot your rich sister.

This is the only place I see you did mistake - Giving 500k to church.

It's too much even though they help you secure the job, you shouldn't give more than 10% to church (210k) , not even 11%.

So, here is the solution;

Go and collect the remaining 290k from church, add 10k to it and immediately go give the 300k to your sister with thorough explanation and begging that you acted out of naivety.

Thanks.

The church won't give him back the money, he has already made a terrible mistake.

dominique:
You made her realise that she's dealing with the "what did you even do for me" type of siblings. It's not until things go sour for you that you realise that your siblings never rated you, it's when things look up for such siblings. It's your types that will turn your backs against her if fortunes were reversed, she did well by keeping a safe distance from you all.

Your mum died and it was your sister that took up the role of sponsoring you not your dad, that means your mum was the financial muscle of your family (nairaland men swear with their lives that Nigerian women bring NOTHING to the table btw). How was she treated? Was she appreciated by your dad and siblings? I'm almost certain your mum died unloved, unappreciated and disregarded by your dad and siblings. Your sister must have seen this and doesn't want to follow her footsteps.

wish you a speedy recovery

He should involve the Police and law enforcement agencies.

He gave them willingly, he can also collect willingly.

Mirasteel:
The church won't give him back the money, he has already made a terrible mistake.

U nor fit piss for my back come tell me say na rain dey fall...

You should apologise to her and explain.
Best to make peace with people who once helped you

heykims:
Op, u didn't appreciate God enough with the 500k gift to the church, I was expecting u would at least dedicate 50% ie 1050000 naira to be sowed into your Pastor's pocket. Afterall your sister did nothing for u, it was merely your pastor's prayers that was answered through her.

Many people won't understand your sarcasm.

Op nor try!

His action is a manifestation of ungratefulness.

I perfectly understand how the sister feels.

He doesn't want sister to know he's earning something, so that he can continue to collect from her.

We are fond of overlooking rich people, we think they don't need our gifts as well. You thought she is financially ok so she doesn't need your money or gift. You should have just given her something while sharing the money (she might have returned it to you) or bought her a quality gift. You didn't even tell her about the contract, she is hurt.
Send her an apology email like someone above said, the person dropped a format for you. Next time don't over look her, carry her along in your success.

Beerbeer:
We are four siblings in my family: two boys who are twins and two girls. When my mum passed, my elder sister stood in as a parent for us. She paid for our university education and sent us monthly allowances for feeding. In fact, three of us would have dropout if not for her. Even when I graduated from school, she was still sending me 30k every month, pending when I get a job. This is in addition to also sending same to my siblings and my father. She has done this for close to 10 years without complaint.

Recently, I finished a project that paid me 2.1 million. This is how I spent the money:
I gave 500k to my church to thank them for getting me the job.
300k to my father.
100k to my stepmum.
100k to my second sister.
Bought 700k laptop to help with my coding job.
I used the rest to pay rent, change my wardrobe, clearance from school, and feeding.

My elder sister found out from my twin brother and got angry because I didn't tell her anything about the job or the money. She was also angry because I didn't set aside money for my twin brother going to law school this year.

To be honest, I didn't think it was a big deal to tell her. I knew my twin was in safe hands cos she was already handling that so I didn't bother. Before now, she had already paid the law school fees (about 500k). So I thought it was settled. I tried to reason with her but she refused to hear.

She was also angry I didn't tell her about the laptop. I knew I messed up here because she was the one that encouraged me to pick up coding and even bought my first laptop. I told her I wanted to finalize everything but it made her angry tye more. She blocked me and I also found out she blocked everyone else including our father.

All these happened in April. I thought she would calm down by now. But I just discovered that she has moved out of our state without telling anyone. She has blocked all the numbers we tried to reach her.

My twin brother said she only sends him allowance for law school (100k every month) and has blocked his number so he won't contact her. He is the only person she sends money to now as she has stopped giving us as before.

I am so confused. Why is she acting like this? Shouldn't she be happy for me? Nairalanders help me.

To me what you did is wrong, even if your sister is billionaire, you would have given her the largest share of the money you gave others because she was the pillar of your foundation, you gave church 500k just because they got the job for you but you forgot the main person, assuming you dropped out from school, do you think that church would have given you the job. Immediate you got the money, the first thing you would have done is to transfer the largest share to her. Someone help me to secure a contract of monthly 100k, to make her happy, I always send her 5k once I receive the money, talkless of your own sister who helped you to the point you are. Please, look for her and beg her, that your sister has a golden heart, if she's not yet married , you can connect me to her, not all siblings can do what she has done for you guys.

dominique:
You made her realise that she's dealing with the "what did you even do for me" type of siblings. It's not until things go sour for you that you realise that your siblings never rated you, it's when things look up for such siblings. It's your types that will turn your backs against her if fortunes were reversed, she did well by keeping a safe distance from you all.

Your mum died and it was your sister that took up the role of sponsoring you not your dad, that means your mum was the financial muscle of your family (nairaland men swear with their lives that Nigerian women bring NOTHING to the table btw). How was she treated? Was she appreciated by your dad and siblings? I'm almost certain your mum died unloved, unappreciated and disregarded by your dad and siblings. Your sister must have seen this and doesn't want to follow her footsteps.

No please. My dad has always been the major sponsor but he retired and his 30k pension can't do anything. My mum helped with her business and we always appreciated her when she was alive.

Onegai:
Beerbeer, do you have your elder sister's email?

If you do, please send her this:

"Dear Sis, how are you?

I wanted to see how you're doing. We're fine here.

Please, may I say how sorry I am for what happened between us? I should have informed you of my success, after all, you encouraged me to go into Tech. You probably also prayed for me. You've done so much for me, for us as a family since Mumsi passed away. And I can never repay you.

And I know I should have done better. I'm so sorry.

Please, sis, can I take the burden off you a little by (insert your younger sisters names here) handling their allowance? You can't do this on your own and I want to see you, my sister, happy and enjoying her hard work. God know, Nigeria is very hard nowadays. Let me help.

Someone once said that eldest sisters are your 2nd mother and in you, I find that to be true.

If you don't wish to reply this, I will understand. I will always love you, no matter what.

Please take good care of yourself.

Warm regards,
Beerbeer"


And the next job you get, give her 1/4 of what you earn, and let her be the first to know, via email. Even if she doesn't reply.

And when she eventually unblocks you, make it a monthly habit to credit her phone with like N10k.

It's not about the money, it's the thought that counts. It's very hard to be a provider and people like being appreciated. You didn't appreciate her and she's deeply hurt. And you're selfishly expecting her to get over it and be happy for you. Sure, forgiveness is always good, but you too, shake bodi with repentance.

I will do this since I can't get through to her on phone.
Thank you

ExudeLoveToAll:
Typical Nigerian woman with plenty of unrealistic assumptions, all these things you said here can't even be infected from the passage, why not heal from your trauma

You people hate being faced to the truth that a lot of women bring a lot to the table than some men ever will. Is it envy or plain bitterness that you some of you can never measure up?

Back to op. He said a lot of things without saying certain things. Their mum died, with the dad still alive, shouldn't he be the one financing the education abi no be natural provider again? Why is it now paining you that I pointed out the obvious that it was the mother pulling the financial heavyweight? Because women have nothing agenda is not agenaring abi? Ok the father could not step up to the responsibility, nothing wrong with that. Older sister steps up and she's paid back with ingratitude and total disregard. She has what happened to the person that was previously carrying the financial burden and how much they rate her and she chose to distance herself from them which I 100% agree with.

heykims:
Op, u didn't appreciate God enough with the 500k gift to the church, I was expecting u would at least dedicate 50% ie 1050000 naira to be sowed into your Pastor's pocket. Afterall your sister did nothing for u, it was merely your pastor's prayers that was answered through her.

Hian, l know that you are joking but continue

@ Topic, the Op is an ingrate, if l am your Elder sister, l will block you permanently

[quote author=Beerbeer post=136886496][/quote]If your story is true, You are a very w*cked person and an ingrate.

Thank God you are a man......you will soon understand


May God continue to bless all first child

Beerbeer:
We are four siblings in my family: two boys who are twins and two girls. When my mum passed, my elder sister stood in as a parent for us. She paid for our university education and sent us monthly allowances for feeding. In fact, three of us would have dropout if not for her. Even when I graduated from school, she was still sending me 30k every month, pending when I get a job. This is in addition to also sending same to my siblings and my father. She has done this for close to 10 years without complaint.

Recently, I finished a project that paid me 2.1 million. This is how I spent the money:
I gave 500k to my church to thank them for getting me the job.
300k to my father.
100k to my stepmum.
100k to my second sister.
Bought 700k laptop to help with my coding job.
I used the rest to pay rent, change my wardrobe, clearance from school, and feeding.

My elder sister found out from my twin brother and got angry because I didn't tell her anything about the job or the money. She was also angry because I didn't set aside money for my twin brother going to law school this year.

To be honest, I didn't think it was a big deal to tell her. I knew my twin was in safe hands cos she was already handling that so I didn't bother. Before now, she had already paid the law school fees (about 500k). So I thought it was settled. I tried to reason with her but she refused to hear.

She was also angry I didn't tell her about the laptop. I knew I messed up here because she was the one that encouraged me to pick up coding and even bought my first laptop. I told her I wanted to finalize everything but it made her angry tye more. She blocked me and I also found out she blocked everyone else including our father.

All these happened in April. I thought she would calm down by now. But I just discovered that she has moved out of our state without telling anyone. She has blocked all the numbers we tried to reach her.

My twin brother said she only sends him allowance for law school (100k every month) and has blocked his number so he won't contact her. He is the only person she sends money to now as she has stopped giving us as before.

I am so confused. Why is she acting like this? Shouldn't she be happy for me? Nairalanders help me.

When you got that large sum of money, you should have informed her, and even sent her some.

You should have visited her and bought lots of gifts for her children. You can repay for being generous to her kids.

You seemed to have forgotten about her, and taken her for granted.

grandstar:
When you got that large sum of money, you should have informed her, and even sent her some.

You should have visited her and bought lots of gifts for her children. You can repay for being generous to her kids.

You seemed to have forgotten about her, and taken her for granted.

She is not married and has no children.

Where I know say I get op type as siblings was when we had a family reunion, I ran around buying gifts for siblings, nephew and nieces I hadn't seen for some over 5 years....


And what was my reward? Absolutely Nothing....


Instead all my siblings visited my house the next day when everyone were returning back to base and took any piece of clothing of mine that they liked, things that I wouldn't have given out for any reason...


Even handkerchief, nobody reason to dash me sef. That moment I realized that if I die now, my siblings would still find ways to survive and I'll be just a memory...


I'm still hurt till tomorrow....



Some people just dey answer siblings cause na one papa and mama born them but in their heart, them take each other as tools to upgrade themselves, Op is one of them....