Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,675,393 members, 6,293,896 topics. Date: Monday, 17 May 2021 at 11:24 PM

Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents (15298 Views)

The Fate Of Tunde Thomas! A Lesson For Men!! / Mom Killed My Tomorrow - All Parents Should Learn From This Story / All Parents Do Read This. (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (Reply) (Go Down)

Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by Slimslimqq: 10:52am On Apr 30
Dear Parents/Guardians,

I want to believe almost all of us has read or heard about how a young girl of 14yrs old has been defiled by a popular actor.
Whether *the story is true or not*, can we parents learn One or two more lessons from this pathetic story.

Firstly, We must acknowledge the fact that there are Pedophile in our society.

What is Pedophilia?
Pedophiliasadalternatively spelt paedophilia) is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children.

The case mentioned above is *not the first but it can be the last if we all stand up to our responsibilities as Parents, and understand what a child is.

A child is a gift from God and He expect us as earthly guardians to take proper care of each and every one of them.

One of our major duty is to keep them away from this psychiatric patients called pedophile.
May God help us all
Below are children care tips

CHILD MOLESTATION!

Child Molestation is also known as child sexual abuse. It is a secret crime involving a range of indecent sexual activities between an adult and a child.

According to the National Violence Against Children Survey, it established that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 10 boys experience sexual violence before the age of 18 in one way or the other.

TYPES OF MOLESTATION:
-Defilement
-Rape
-Fingering
-Making a child watch pornography
-Exposing the genital to kids
-Indecent touching
-handling etc

WHO COULD ABUSE YOUR CHILD?
ANYBODY
Studies show that over 95% of sexually abused children are abused by persons known or close to the child or the child's family.

ABUSERS ARE MOSTLY NOT STRANGERS.
They are right there in your house, co-tenants, family members, lesson teachers, neighbours. Their friends in school, hostel, classmates,class/school teachers, cousins, uncles, nephew, niece, fathers, step fathers, grand fathers, imams, Arabic teachers, choir masters, pastors, confidants, security guard, maids, family /school drivers, After school teachers, teachers, mummy's friend, daddy's friend, caregivers, strangers........ the list can go on.
Please, do not ask if any of the above is possible because, there is no case of any of the above that has not happened.

CAUSES OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE
Parental negligence, carelessness, nonchalant attitude.
It is as bad as No one can be trusted.
We have a child presently carrying a baby that belongs to her father.

OTHER CAUSES:
Absentee parents.
Parents who do not observe.
When the kids are not informed.....
What you watch with your kids.
Indecent dressing by our children.

WHERE CAN YOUR CHILD BE SEXUALLY ABUSED?
✓On your bed
✓Right under your nose, under your roof
✓In the school environment - class, toilet etc
✓Hostel
✓Parties
✓In their room (siblings)
✓Deserted/Abandoned places
✓ When you are distracted etc.

Perpetrators look for opportunities.
5mins is enough to cause a life long damage.

HOW DO PAEDOPHILES GET THE VICTIMS?
1.Grooming
2.Baits
a. Emotional bait
b. Gift bait
c. Financial bait
d. Familiarity & Respect bait.
3. Child grooming
Befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child, and sometimes the family, to lower the child's inhibitions with the objective of sexual abuse. -Wikipedia-
Gaining the trust of a minor with the intention of having sex relationship with them.

HOW TO IDENTIFY A POSSIBLE ABUSER:
A. Always trying to be around your child or vice versa
B. Child feels uncomfortable when he/she sights the abuser or when the abuser is around.
C. Easily and conveniently accept to care for your child while you are away.
D. Can be hard on the child especially if the child is rejecting his moves.

If any of the above is observed, please, shine your eyes. Or sometimes, your child might feel uncomfortable/rejecting to go to the person when you send him or her Or even go for holiday.

Sexual abuse happens among siblings, set rules, separate their rooms, separate their beds.
We had a case of twins having sex with each other. When they were asked, they said: we see mum and dad do same.

Why should we be that careless?
Because of the carelessness of both parents, their innocent minds were polluted and their lives were destroyed.

WHAT A PERPETRATOR SAYS TO A CHILD WILLING TO SPEAK OUT:
•I will kill you
•You will die
•Your mummy will hate you
•Your mummy will beat you
•Your mummy will blame you.
•Your mummy and your daddy will die.
•He could cut the child, lick the blood and say: "this is a blood covenant between us, the day you tell is the day you die."

Teach your child The SRR action.

S - Shout/scream
R - Run
R - Report

POSSIBLE SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD HAS BEEN ABUSED:
✓Isolation
✓Aggressiveness
✓Anxiety/Fear
✓Difficulty in walking
✓Sudden drop in academic performance
✓Poor social interaction
and so on.

OTHERS
✓Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

Their dressing is important, dress to cover them please. Teach them privacy. They must knock and seek permission before they enter your room.
It is wrong to bath them together irrespective of sex.

PLEASE NOTE!
children never lie about abuse If your child tells you someone is trying to mess with him or her.... Please believe the child and respond appropriately.

EFFECT OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE
-The abused child could become a serial abuser
-Depression
-Suicidal thoughts
-Stigma
-Guilt
-Lifelong psychological trauma
-Aggression
-Withdrawn
-Infected with STDs
Etc

THE BOYS
More often than not,we pay more attention to the girls than the boys.
With my years of experience, boys are mostly victims of anal sex but because we do not pay attention.
For them, healing is a terrible process.

WATCH OVER YOUR BOYS
Something might just be happening and you perceive not. Do not be a hard mum. Strike a balance between love and discipline.
Give your children Sex Education proportional to their age. A child of age 2 or even less is due for Sex Education.
Tell them what nobody must do with their body.
Tell them to speak out.
In the house, everyone must respect one another's privacy.

Child molestation is real, it is more painful if it happens under your very nose.
Please bond more with our Jewels, we want to receive them back to school bigger and better than they left. Above all, pray for them always. The child molesters will not go near them but we must play our part

Thank you all.

Keep staying safe.

140 Likes 22 Shares

Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by ChemicalReaction(f): 11:46am On Apr 30
Front page material.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by mayzee: 11:53am On Apr 30
Good one
Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by LilMissFavvy(f): 12:10pm On Apr 30
A very nice write up.

2 Likes

Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by Slimslimqq: 12:39pm On Apr 30
Lalasticlala, move to Frontpage let's educate ourselves more about handling of the kids
Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by Slimslimqq: 12:43pm On Apr 30
I am also a victim of sexual abuse. That's more reason I had to create this thread, so a lot of parents can learn to guide and educate their children /wards

35 Likes

Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by Slimslimqq: 3:41pm On Apr 30
Lalasticlala self
Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by WiszyFraud: 3:48pm On Apr 30
Did you know??

A person turns 10,000 days old when they have lived 27 years, 4 months, and 15 days.


cool

4 Likes

Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by BigDawsNet: 3:48pm On Apr 30
Safe your kids

Get a cctv

May God protect our kids away from those psycho

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by Sunnybay7: 3:48pm On Apr 30
Parents are too busy to monitor their children.

6 Likes

Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by smile11s(m): 3:50pm On Apr 30
Government should also provide treatment
Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by Trutherme: 3:50pm On Apr 30
Ok
Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by inoki247: 3:50pm On Apr 30
With everything we are going through in this country some people preek dey rise to small child...

Them suppose kill anybody wey dey see pleasure in this thing aw much b Olosho...

If you broke sef u can apply for loan online like all diz Palmcredit, Soko loan nd use am carry olosho life don easy gan...

19 Likes 1 Share

Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by Franzinni: 3:51pm On Apr 30
Any man come around your kids shine your eye before you shine your teeth .

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by datola: 3:51pm On Apr 30
All these strange things are signs of the end time. May we never be victims of the vices of the enemy.

3 Likes

Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by fatymore(f): 3:51pm On Apr 30
cry cry
Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by SEGLIZ: 3:51pm On Apr 30
good.
Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by paulolee(m): 3:51pm On Apr 30
nice post...its a very enlightening post..
Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by smile11s(m): 3:51pm On Apr 30
BigDawsNet:
Safe your kids

Get a cctv

May God protect our kids away from those psycho

How will cctv stop/prevent the act?
Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by Fiscus105: 3:52pm On Apr 30
it's also a lesson for all guys, who think only with their penis, when you see boobs and ass, ur brain starts malfunction already, you want to drill all holes without minding the consequence, calamity and shame that can bring to u, ur family and organisation you represent.
No matter number of females you slept with, it can never bring trophy neither will u be able to sleep with all women in life, so why embarking on battle you knw you can conquer from the beginning.

7 Likes

Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by akeeng: 3:52pm On Apr 30
Parenting or not, only an animal will do anything with a kid. It’s sickening

1 Like

Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by ChiefAfonja: 3:53pm On Apr 30
Buhari
Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by renegades(m): 3:53pm On Apr 30
Ok
Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by Mustiboy(m): 3:53pm On Apr 30
My aunt sexually abused me at a young age, although I wasn't a virgin when she did. I was age 8 then.

I told no one till this day, but she didn't threaten me.

3 Likes

Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by studios28: 3:53pm On Apr 30
Recently, i have heard directly from victims.
It is shocking what many trusted relations are doing.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by merits(m): 3:54pm On Apr 30
kissGood right up,the person below me is me.so me what do you have to say?

3 Likes

Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by merits(m): 3:54pm On Apr 30
kissthe person above is me.me I have nothing to say rather than to congratulate me to be there for myself at this crucia time.

3 Likes

Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by BigDawsNet: 3:54pm On Apr 30
smile11s:


How will cctv stop/prevent the act?


For people who have domestic workers around.
Re: Defilement: An Important Lesson For All Parents by Ask4bigneyo(m): 3:54pm On Apr 30
Copy and Paste

(1) (2) (3) (4) (Reply)

Father Tortures Daughter For Being A 'Witch' / Which Should Come First Between Career & Marriage In A Family? / Orphanages In Nigeria.

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2021 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 182
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.