₦airaland Forum

At what point did you realize that your friend wasn't your friend?

. Too many betrayals.............


But right now,I've go no friends at all ......Since I survive all the problems I went through last year,I made up my mind that in this life of mine, it'll forever be me versus myself and no one else.......

Countless Etu Brute type of scenes, but man kept scaling through like Leverkusen. Talk sh*t behind your back, but once they see you, the holla. Goal right now is to double down on dollar. We might have walked the same path all along, though with different shoes. So, you can't tell where mine pinches. It was lovely while it lasted. I'm in a safer place right now, strictly on my track without swerving.

#DearExFriends

During a horrid time in my life. I saw B my friend and poured out my issues, same way she always told me stuff and I'd advise her. She gave some generic advise about prayers.

Then a month or 2 later, I got a random Friend Request on my Instagram account from a lady I didn't know. I DMed her and she said she was a friend of B. Even more confusing, I had no idea who she was and why she was adding me.

So I whatsapped B and asked her who this lady was. B told me the lady was "that my neighbor, her older sister nau!".

I became genuinely confused because I don't think I had met the neighbour and even if I had, I certainly had zero idea whom she was because that meeting would have been at most a greeting whilst passing in the doorway. So why on earth would a stranger's sister add me up?

B turned on the gas cylinder, full gaslighting:
"She knows you because I always gist her about you. She just wants to be friendly! Isn't that what social media is for!!"

That was when I realized that B had used my deeply personal issue as gist for her friends, those ones who had been mocking me as the "rich, spoilt girl" for years (B had a big chip on her shoulder about her and mine's social levels and I didn't help either) now wanted to gloat and spread my misery. So they were going through my social media, hoping to see me fall apart.

I kept it all in, politely greeted B's friend on IG. She ignored the greeting, busily looking for clues of my misery. Till tomorrow, she never replied that greeting. I unfriended her months later.

As for B, she pretended to check up on me months later, hoping for more gist about my issues. I was very polite and kept it short.

30 years of friendship, gone.

My mum had spent years warning me about B, I had randomly tweeted something B had done during my wedding and even strangers on the internet said "that girl isn't your friend". She used her hand to confirm it.

I asked two of them for small financial assistance and that was the last time I heard from them and these are the same people I used to assist them without expecting anything in return.

The third one immediately stopped talking to me the moment I got engaged... I remember I was very excited to share the good news with her, but she didn't sound genuinely happy for me, her excuse was that she was busy and that she'll talk to me later, from that day on, she started avoiding me.

And this is the same person who used to drive by my family house everyday to take her child to school... Before my engagement, she used to constantly drop by to have a gist with me, but she immediately stopped.

She and I never fought and I don't remember ever talking bad about her with anyone... I spent a whole four months trying to reach out to her without any success and since I didn't know what my crime was, I eventually decided to reciprocate the feeling by deleting her number and moved on... My husband had recently gotten a new job in another province, so I eventually moved there after the engagement in 2022.

2023 came and on a few occasions that I visited home, two of my neighbours told me how this former friend of mine had been asking them about me and my whereabouts... I'm not on social media, so it can be quite difficult to trace my movements... Few months down the line, she then dmed my sister on Facebook to ask her about me and my whereabouts and she told her.

I was mad at my sister for revealing to her my whereabouts without consulting with me first, I mean it's not like I had blocked her number or anything like that, I only deleted it... The same sister of mine got engaged last year in January and she posted pictures of her engagement party on Facebook, this former friend of mine finally sent me a WhatsApp message under the guise of complimenting me for the new year, but It didn't take long before she started making a big deal of how I never told her or her family about my sister's engagement party.

This is the same person who ghosted me for a whole two years, I immediately lashed out on her and ended the fake friendship on the spot.

Onegai:
During a horrid time in my life. I saw B my friend and poured out my issues, same way she always told me stuff and I'd advise her. She gave some generic advise about prayers.

Then a month or 2 later, I got a random Friend Request on my Instagram account from a lady I didn't know. I DMed her and she said she was a friend of B. Even more confusing, I had no idea who she was and why she was adding me.

So I whatsapped B and asked her who this lady was. B told me the lady was "that my neighbor, her older sister nau!".

I became genuinely confused because I don't think I had met the neighbour and even if I had, I certainly had zero idea whom she was because that meeting would have been at most a greeting whilst passing in the doorway. So why on earth would a stranger's sister add me up?

B turned on the gas cylinder, full gaslighting:
"She knows you because I always gist her about you. She just wants to be friendly! Isn't that what social media is for!!"

That was when I realized that B had used my deeply personal issue as gist for her friends, those ones who had been mocking me as the "rich, spoilt girl" for years (B had a big chip on her shoulder about her and mine's social levels and I didn't help either) now wanted to gloat and spread my misery. So they were going through my social media, hoping to see me fall apart.

I kept it all in, politely greeted B's friend on IG. She ignored the greeting, busily looking for clues of my misery. Till tomorrow, she never replied that greeting. I unfriended her months later.

As for B, she pretended to check up on me months later, hoping for more gist about my issues. I was very polite and kept it short.

30 years of friendship, gone.

My mum had spent years warning me about B, I had randomly tweeted something B had done during my wedding and even strangers on the internet said "that girl isn't your friend". She used her hand to confirm it.

She's your fiend

Nlfpmod, this should be a very interesting topic.

She was stealing from me even though I was spending on her and her family.

She was my childhood friend but at a point, we parted ways for some years, to reconnect after some years to part finally.

Why did we part ways?

I graduated and got a good job while she was still an undergrad.

She would always call me from school to send assistance which I never failed to do and it was very often. I didn't mind.

Then I got an accomodation and she left school to visit me in my town. She was in UI Ibadan and I worked in UBA in Enugu.

When she came my people, I was shocked how large my friend was living in school.

Her bathing soap costs 4 times more than that I use, her cream, her clothes, even native dresses in expensive lace, jewelries etc should not be what a supposed poor student should be pursuing I reasoned.

I took notes of these and took a private decision to lower my assistance.

Soon, her father died and she started bombarding me for money for the burial arrangements.

I told her I could not afford what she's asking for but will do what I can. That didn't go down well with her and she started snubbing me from then.

She never communicated the burial date. The burial came and went.

When I didn't hear from her after a long while and decided to call to know how far with the prep, she was answering me snubishly and so I cut the line and decided it was over.

About 6 years after we lost touch, she ran into my sister and got my current phone number from her and called me. We began the friendship again from there.

By this time I was on another job, a better one. More money.

She narrated how someone who promised to help her buy a golf car from Cotonou duped her 400k and vanished.

I told her to forget it and I secretly decided to buy her that golf car.

But then, I noticed every time she visited, my money was missing always.

So I set a trap for her and she stole 5k from the wad of 50k I kept in my bag and making expenses from.

I was angry and ashamed of her I couldn't even confront her.

When she was leaving, she stole my provisions and even a bottle of groundnut.

I called her later just to confirm she took those things and she said yes she did and I cut the call, never to talk to her again till date.

She called and called and called and messaged endlessly but no response from me.

Guys, I was like, this is my childhood friend whom I don't spare any expenses on. If she could be stealing from me still, then she can poison me.

While we lost contact, she had become friends with some Oba's wife and some other ladies and she usually tells me stories about the fetish things these women do.

I didn't want to be poisoned Biko by an insatiable entitled friend.

Sonnobax15:
. Too many betrayals.............


But right now,I've go no friends at all ......Since I survive all the problems I went through last year,I made up my mind that in this life of mine, it'll forever be me versus myself and no one else.......

Good for you. Better to be on your own than have friends you don't trust.

I know a few women who can't do without friends. Everywhere they land, before long, they are already involved with someone or people. Some can't even sleep alone in a single room apartment. They must be around one friend or the other. And you will discover that these type of people are always having issues.

Small time, gossip and betrayal don happen and they move on to the next one.

I like friends but I'm very choosy. Most of our women just converge to gossip about backbite one another.

If I meet a new friend and discover all she has in her head is to gossip, backbite and run down others, I'll start avoiding you.

When I was single, if I noticed all you have in your head is how to get pepper soup and money out of men, I'll avoid you. I like women who are productive and self motivated.

If I also noticed that you don't reciprocate my gestures, I'm gone.

In school, had a friend that can never offer you a cup of tea when you visit her, but when she's at mine, I will cook lavishly or order food lavishly to entertain her. I quit after some time.

I don pursue all my friends
Poverty mentality na bad thing but people no go understand
All I need now na business partners
I no fit Dey help u mak u Dey feel say u wise
He no make sense

CharlotteFlair:
Good for you. Better to be on your own than have friends you don't trust.

I know a few women who can't do without friends. Everywhere they land, before long, they are already involved with someone or people. Some can't even sleep alone in a single room apartment. They must be around one friend or the other. And you will discover that these type of people are always having issues.

Small time, gossip and betrayal don happen and they move on to the next one.

I like friends but I'm very choosy. Most of our women just converge to gossip about backbite one another.

If I meet a new friend and discover all she has in her head is to gossip, backbite and run down others, I'll start avoiding you.

When I was single, if I noticed all you have in your head is how to get pepper soup and money out of men, I'll avoid you. I like women who are productive and self motivated.

If I also noticed that you don't reciprocate my gestures, I'm gone.

In school, had a friend that can never offer you a cup of tea when you visit her, but when she's at mine, I will cook lavishly or order food lavishly to entertain her. I quit after some time.

. Everything you just stated are the facts about women's friendship...But however,my bestie is a lady...... She's someone whom I trust with my life and funny thing is that tho I've guys .....But you see this particular banny, her type no too plenty again...

Sonnobax15:
. Everything you just stated are the facts about women's friendship...But however,my bestie is a lady...... She's someone whom I trust with my life and funny thing is that tho I've guys .....But you see this parties banny, her type no too plenty again...

my bestie is also a lady and no feelings attached. She's more than my blood siblings sef.