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When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? - Family - Nairaland

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When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by pythondance2020: 8:35am On Aug 23, 2020
Just before any relationship comes to an end, there are certain sure signs we begin to notice that the love is completely dead and there is nothing to hang on to anymore. This is a thread to help those in such relationships that are on the brink of collapse to have an idea so that they can brace themselves for life ahead.

Mine was within the first few months of my marriage, my wife suddenly became obstinate and started going to her parents house whenever we had an argument and would never call back till I called her to please come back and soon after she announced her plans to migrate to another country for good on one of those her return visits from her parents house.
At this point I realized I was alone and had to start planning my life ahead without her.

Please tell your experience, it may not necessarily be someone you were married to, any form of relationship would still fit in.
It could be an ex boyfriend/girlfriend, fiancee etc

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Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by Beckham14: 8:50am On Aug 23, 2020
I noticed how she easily gets angry when we chat and how she'll throw some abusive words at me when she gained admission into the university... I saw where the relationship was heading to, but because of the "unconditional" love I once had for her, I kept on praying, hoping and pleading for us to make it work. (My mistake)

She was not having any of that as her mind was already made up to crush those beautiful memories we once shared together.

Wetin man go do? But the last straw that broke the camel's back was when she accused me of dating someone close to her. I hate false accusations leveled against me..Seeing how bittered she was with that wrong information, she wanted to continue with those abusive words, but I was ready to help her destroy everything completely.

I miss the good memories though, but I don't accept my ex back.

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Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by pythondance2020: 9:42am On Aug 23, 2020
Beckham14:
I noticed how she easily gets angry when we chat and how she'll throw some abusive words at me when she gained admission into the university... I saw where the relationship was heading to, but because of the "unconditional" love I once had for her, I kept on praying, hoping and pleading for us to make it work. (My mistake)

She was not having any of that as her mind was already made up to crush those beautiful memories we once shared together.

Wetin man go do? But the last straw that broke the camel's back was when she accused me of dating someone close to her. I hate false accusations leveled against me..Seeing how bittered she was with that wrong information, she wanted to continue with those abusive words, but I was ready to help her destroy everything completely.

I miss the good memories though, but I don't accept my ex back.

Yeah a lot of relationships end this way.
I once had a female friend who had just met a guy living abroad from her village during the Christmas period and spontaneously started the marriage process with him (introduction).
She was still a student in her final year at the time. She confided in me that she was going to go back to school and start an argument with her school boyfriend whom she had been dating for almost 4 years. The plan was to use that argument as an excuse to break up within a month. Needless to say, the plan worked and she is now married and living with the the new guy abroad whom she never really had a relationship with and barely knew.
That gave me an insight into how some people choose to bring a relationship to an end. I see it as cold but that is sometimes the world we live in.

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Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by Beckham14: 9:45am On Aug 23, 2020
pythondance2020:


Yeah a lot of relationships end this way.
I once had a female friend who had just met a guy living abroad from her village during the Christmas period and spontaneously started the marriage process with him (introduction).
She was still a student in her final year at the time. She confided in me that she was going to go back to school and start an argument with her school boyfriend whom she had been dating for almost 4 years. The plan was to use that argument as an excuse to break up within a month. Needless to say, the plan worked and she is now married and living with the the new guy abroad whom she never really had a relationship with and barely knew.
That gave me an insight into how some people choose to bring a relationship to an end. I see it as cold but that is sometimes the world we live in.
I see it as stupidity...No need for the attitude or pretence. Just say you don't want anymore, it's really that simple.

163 Likes 11 Shares

Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by Ishilove: 10:01am On Aug 23, 2020
pythondance2020:


Yeah a lot of relationships end this way.
I once had a female friend who had just met a guy living abroad from her village during the Christmas period and spontaneously started the marriage process with him (introduction).
She was still a student in her final year at the time. She confided in me that she was going to go back to school and start an argument with her school boyfriend whom she had been dating for almost 4 years. The plan was to use that argument as an excuse to break up within a month. Needless to say, the plan worked and she is now married and living with the the new guy abroad whom she never really had a relationship with and barely knew.
That gave me an insight into how some people choose to bring a relationship to an end. I see it as cold but that is sometimes the world we live in.
This is cold...

90 Likes 8 Shares

Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by joseph1832(m): 10:12am On Aug 23, 2020
pythondance2020:
Just before any relationship comes to an end, there are certain sure signs we begin to notice that the love is completely dead and there is nothing to hang on to anymore. This is a thread to help those in such relationships that are on the brink of collapse to have an idea so that they can brace themselves for life ahead.
Mine was within the first few months of my marriage, my wife suddenly became obstinate and started going to her parents house whenever we had an argument and would never call back till I called her to please come back and soon after she announced her plans to migrate to another country for good on one of those her return visits from her parents house.
At this point I realized I was alone and had to start planning my life ahead without her.

Please tell your experience, it may not necessarily be someone you were married to, any form of relationship would still fit in.
It could be an ex boyfriend/girlfriend, fiancee etc
Is there really love in the first place?

This question is what many Nigerians don't even bother to ask themselves before entering into a relationship. They forget Love usually isn't enough to sustain relationships, if ever the people involve really do Love themselves to begin with.

For me, rather than Love, I believe it's interest. Most relationships are base on interest, not Love, especially from the woman and if or when that interest isn't feasible anymore, they start showing those repulsive signs.

So the truth of it all is (if you truly love) the girl or guy should try and make sure their interest in the relationship (marriage) doesn't die out. Period.

142 Likes 15 Shares

Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by GboyegaD(m): 10:13am On Aug 23, 2020
I guess people just grow apart sometimes.

73 Likes 5 Shares

Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by Nobody: 10:25am On Aug 23, 2020
joseph1832:
Is there really love in the first place?

This question is what many Nigerians don't even bother to ask themselves before entering into a relationship. They forget Love usually isn't enough to sustain relationships, if ever the people involve really do Love themselves to begin with.

For me, rather than Love, I believe it's interest. Most relationships are base on interest, not Love, especially from the woman and if or when that interest isn't feasible anymore, they start showing those repulsive signs.

So the truth of it all is (if you truly love) the girl or guy should try and make sure their interest in the relationship (marriage) doesn't die out. Period.

Same here I dont believe love exists just interests and ability to cope with one.

113 Likes 8 Shares

Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by Nobody: 10:29am On Aug 23, 2020
I'll be back in 7years later to answer this

16 Likes 2 Shares

Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by Klass99(f): 10:34am On Aug 23, 2020
.

247 Likes 12 Shares

Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by LadySarah: 11:31am On Aug 23, 2020
Shit happens. Best it happens before tying nuts so you won't waste your years in regrets.

45 Likes 3 Shares

Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by sisisioge: 12:02pm On Aug 23, 2020
GboyegaD:
I guess people just grow apart sometimes.

Hi Gboye, my friend says hi. How canny and aunty. Dont ask me where from o...but she sha said hi grin

Cc: B....
Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by sisisioge: 12:06pm On Aug 23, 2020
Klass99:
My classmate's story when we were @ University. I'll call her Nengi because she was just as hot as the BBN housemate (if not hotter sef) cheesy

Nengi was dating a working class guy off campus and would often visit him at his crib, she had some of her stuff at his place as well.

She visited one weekend and all her stuff were gone (clothing, toiletries, etc) When she asked where her things were, dude said his crib had been broken into and the thieves made away with her things.

Thieves broke in but somehow only her things were missing! This was the first sign that things weren't right but none of us saw, what was to come.

He did a 360 degree turn afterwards and started dating one of Nengi's close friends and eventually married her. I don't think they did proper marriage rites cos Nengi's friend got pregnant and moved in with Mike (not his real name) I hear they are still living as man and wife, several years later.

Nengi was devastated because she truly loved that guy and wasn't playing games on him, she also had a good character, as far as, I could tell. So, I didn't understand the switch he made either.

The shocker for me was the friend he went for. Adams Oshiomole will best describe the girl he ended up with.

Mike had proposed to Nengi prior to all this drama and if I remember correctly, he had gone to see her parents about his intentions.

Some people say jazz was involved. I didn't know what to think back then or even now, except, fear men grin

grin grin grin

Mike probably eat the Adam Oshiomole's cookies and got stuck. No jazz.

Meanwhile, hope your friend had moved on beautifully.

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Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by GboyegaD(m): 2:47pm On Aug 23, 2020
sisisioge:


Hi Gboye, my friend says hi. How canny and aunty. Dont ask me where from o...but she sha said hi grin

Cc: B....

I'm also saying hi. Canny is fine I guess and I'm not in Canny at the moment. Wouldn't mind you hunting me who your friend is. Aunty is doing great as well.
Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by Luak(m): 3:11pm On Aug 23, 2020
From day 1,I took the position of the provider, lover and defender. Anything she contributes is Jara. That way, I make her realize that a bird at hand is worth 2 in the bush

35 Likes 4 Shares

Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by dingbang(m): 3:19pm On Aug 23, 2020
Marry a woman who loves you more wink

176 Likes 10 Shares

Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by Klass99(f): 3:36pm On Aug 23, 2020
.

79 Likes 4 Shares

Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by Uyi168: 3:49pm On Aug 23, 2020
Luak:
From day 1,I took the position of the provider, lover and defender. Anything she contributes is Jara. That way, I make her realize that a bird at hand is worth 2 in the bush
..
It's obvious u are new to the relationship game..
Hot premium tears awaits u still..

151 Likes 3 Shares

Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by sisisioge: 3:50pm On Aug 23, 2020
GboyegaD:


I'm also saying hi. Canny is fine I guess and I'm not in Canny at the moment. Wouldn't mind you hunting me who your friend is. Aunty is doing great as well.

grin grin grin

Good to know. Really do not want to blow my cover...but I will tell her I chatted you. Enjoy.
Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by Ishilove: 3:51pm On Aug 23, 2020
joseph1832:
Is there really love in the first place?

This question is what many Nigerians don't even bother to ask themselves before entering into a relationship. They forget Love usually isn't enough to sustain relationships, if ever the people involve really do Love themselves to begin with.

For me, rather than Love, I believe it's interest. Most relationships are base on interest, not Love, especially from the woman and if or when that interest isn't feasible anymore, they start showing those repulsive signs.

So the truth of it all is (if you truly love) the girl or guy should try and make sure their interest in the relationship (marriage) doesn't die out. Period.
Big Joe, don't discourage die-hard Romantics like us angry

4 Likes

Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by eazzzy1(m): 3:54pm On Aug 23, 2020
Klass99:


What choice do any of us have in such a situation, except to move on? You wan kill the betrayers before? cheesy

Nengi is married now with kids of her own, but she told me years later that, that was her first and last heartbreak ever. She was the one breaking hearts afterwards. grin

As for Adams Oshiomole's lookalike and her cookies, I won't completely rule out jazz like others said. I wasn't exaggerating when I said she looks like Adams, she has his stature (short and masculine) with a slightly better looking face than Adams though.

What would make a man in his right thinking mind to give up a Nengi for Adams, if not jazz? grin
Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by eazzzy1(m): 3:55pm On Aug 23, 2020
Klass99:



What would make a man in his right thinking mind to give up a Nengi for Adams, if not jazz? grin

A whole lot. I dated a girl like Nengi when I was in school, every other African guy wanted to be with her, she was pretty but was also high maintenance. Lots of guys bought her gifts for no reason, I then started cheating just to show I could get attention too. We argued all the time, she didn’t even know it was wrong to receive gifts from admirers, till I started giving admirers gifts too.

When we broke up I dated someone less flashy, less make up, no short gown, bum short etc. This one had her own money and she was very reserved. We dated two years never argued for once.

Girls are always looking for ways to call their replacements ugly, some will say why are you dating your mothers mate, your own na Oshiomole. Na only man know wetin he Dey find o, if oshiomole doesn’t give me wahala I will date her. Nengi can kiss my Ahole.

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Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by Klass99(f): 4:01pm On Aug 23, 2020
.

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by eazzzy1(m): 4:09pm On Aug 23, 2020
Klass99:


Like what pls? Educate me.

And recall I said Nengi had a good character in addition to her hot looks.

Only the people in the relationship knows who has good character. Except maybe perhaps you happen to be Nengi.

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Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 4:11pm On Aug 23, 2020
dingbang:
Marry a woman who loves you more wink

Nope. Should be the other way round. Stop churning BS advice to suit your gender.

18 Likes 2 Shares

Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by dingbang(m): 4:17pm On Aug 23, 2020
UyaiIncomparabl:


Nope. Should be the other way round. Stop churning BS advice to suit your gender.
smiley your opinion doesnt matter sweetheart

125 Likes 5 Shares

Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by Klass99(f): 4:20pm On Aug 23, 2020
.

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Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by Slawormir: 4:27pm On Aug 23, 2020
Damnnnnn niggarrr
Isoright

Although I don't do relationship as a real niggarrr....I just bang and move ahead...


But i must advise my real niggarrrz and baby girls....
In this modern age that partners don't show any sign again to tell or rather make you understand that they are not in love with you

Na shock them dey shock their partner

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Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by Rachellucas(f): 4:27pm On Aug 23, 2020
kiss

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by blinking001(m): 4:27pm On Aug 23, 2020
Comments readers association of Nairaland.

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Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by Ikillbrokehoes(m): 4:27pm On Aug 23, 2020
None

1 Like

Re: When Did You Realize Your Spouse Stopped Loving You? by Eghavribiee(m): 4:27pm On Aug 23, 2020
When she stopped giving me sex

25 Likes 1 Share

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