₦airaland Forum

A Nigerian lawyer has stirred intense discussion on social media after questioning why some married people remain emotionally attached to their ex-partners, even to the extent of raising children for them while in another marriage. Eyes Of Lagos reports,

The lawyer, Dammy Esquire, shared his thoughts on X (formerly Twitter), highlighting the troubling choices he has seen in his years of observing divorces and failed marriages.

According to him:

“I have seen too many marriages collapse because people married who their parents or society chose, instead of who they truly wanted. If you’re married but still secretly think about your ex, let me ask you: why didn’t you marry them in the first place? Or are you just waiting for your current marriage to crash so you can run back? But here’s the real madness, how do you have 3 kids in your husband’s house, and all 3 belong to your ex? Who are you really married to — your husband or your past?”

His statement quickly went viral, with many Nigerians weighing in on the realities of marriage and emotional fidelity.

One user, Samuel Dominic, backed the lawyer’s claims, writing:

“Too many people are legally married but emotionally unavailable, tied to one person yet still living in the shadow of someone else. Marriage isn’t a hiding place from unfinished stories; it’s a conscious decision to choose and re-choose the person beside you every day.”

Dammy later followed up with another post to clarify his stance, stressing that marriage should be rooted in loyalty and intentional love:

“Marriage isn’t about wearing a ring, it’s about showing up daily with loyalty, presence, and intentional love.”

The debate has left many Nigerians reflecting on their own unions: Is marriage truly about societal pressure, parental approval, or about choosing someone you genuinely love?

And perhaps the biggest question—how many couples today are truly committed to their current partner, rather than still holding on to the ghost of a past relationship?

Cj4charles:
They ought to be arresting all these ladies committing DNA fraud

Berankis:
It is because there is no punishment for it under the law. But there is punishment for beating a woman but no punishment for a wife/woman who pins illegitimate child(ren) on a man.
You can imagine?

Dogalmighty17:
I was married. My ex is still married. A number of times, she calls me to hear my voice.

alphonsoolajide:
https://eyesoflagos.com/how-can-a-married-womans-children-belong-to-her-ex-lawyer-sparks-debate/

Jman06:
I think the assumption that ladies don't marry whom they "love" but who is available or that parents force their daughters to marry whom they approve is actually NOT true these days! Parents barely interfere in their daughters' choices of marriage partners nowadays, at least not in my part of the country.

The issue is that ladies themselves are a bunch of confused beings! Many of them marry whom they claim to love but would still cheat for different reasons and for no reasons too! Some of them would marry Mr A because he's tall, dark and handsome but would cheat with Mr B because he is rich or even Mr C because he is a playboy with other ladies flocking around him.

So, let's stop blaming innocent parents and society but blame the gender that often do not know what they want or just cheat for the fun of it!

Cj4charles:
They ought to start arresting all these ladies committing DNA/Paternity fraud because you can't tell me after investing on your wife putting in everything you have love, finances, time & resources then the child you thought she had for you is not yours........

ObalendeCMS:
Na moogoo man dey marry nigerian women!

liihgtrsdghjkitffeehjkllpp

Cj4charles:
They ought to start arresting all these ladies committing DNA/Paternity fraud because you can't tell me after investing on your wife putting in everything you have love, finances, time & resources then the child you thought she had for you is not yours........