₦airaland Forum

I will never take such inhumane treatment from the woman i spent my hard earned money to marry... and you guys saying hormanal bla bla should stop that rubbish...i have been married for more than 10yrs and nothing of such rubbish happens.op has every right to be angry and disturbed.

Your story may be true, and if it true, know starving you sex is not because she is pregnant but she no longer develop that previous feelings for you again.
That shows that she need marriage counselor.

He's on point, had the same experience when I got married newly and played it exactly how he suggested but not to the point of demanding for a DNA test and the result was great. We have been married for 13 years now, no sex manipulative tactics.
If it's low libido she should be able to discuss it and possibly compromise because marriage is all about compromises.

I am not talking about all these your tactics...


And any other thing you posted. But did you consider that it may not be a case of manipulation but just a simple case of she being frigid or having low sexual drive genuinely?

Some people simply have low sex drives and it might not be about manipulation![/quote]

motymop:
If she missed her period about two weeks after your wedding night, it might be a bit early for a pregnancy to be detected by a missed period because ovulation and conception usually happen midcycle. But it's still possible if timing aligns.

If she’s complaining of pregnancy cramps but hasn’t confirmed pregnancy with a test, it’s possible she’s dealing with something physical hormonal changes, health issues or maybe even anxiety or stress that’s affecting her libido and willingness to be intimate with you.

This is going to be lengthy.
First how old are you?
You sound naive and immature.
If that woman is pregnant and being a virgin, her body would be in a total shock, cooking a baby inside her.
I asked your age becasue marriage is more than just sex. Now you have to show maturity and understand this. You have to be selfless and think more about her.
So you dont know that knacking a woman without protection would result in pregnancy?
If you were a sex maniac, why not have used contraception, like implants, so that you go knack her tire before getting pregnant?
Again, welcome to the marriage hood where its meant for men not kids.
You must find yourself some good soap becasue this journey go long.

The only way out now is, show her love, care and attention, she fit give you hand job for now until her body fully adjusted, then she fit give you quicky...

Obagreatdatoye:
Listen to this

Please stop supporting bad things.you guys don't read and comprehend... the no sex aspect is a little bit understandable but the main problem here is affection, emotional connection and at least some touching, kissing and the lovey dovey stuffs at times

OChimex:
This is going to be lengthy.
First how old are you?
You sound naive and immature.
If that woman is pregnant and being a virgin, her body would be in a total shock, cooking a baby inside her.
I asked your age becasue marriage is more than just sex. Now you have to show maturity and understand this. You have to be selfless and think more about her.
So you dont know that knacking a woman without protection would result in pregnancy?
If you were a sex maniac, why not have used contraception, like implants, so that you go knack her tire before getting pregnant?
Again, welcome to the marriage hood where its meant for men not kids.
You must find yourself some good soap becasue this journey go long.

The only way out now is, show her love, care and attention, she fit give you hand job for now until her body fully adjusted, then she fit give you quicky...

See talk

Thank you.... We don't even talk aside from occasional gists and what to eat
We fit dey bed together make we no talk for hours make everyone just dey press phone

Donlexino:
Please stop supporting bad things.you guys don't read and comprehend... the no sex aspect is a little bit understandable but the main problem here is affection, emotional connection and at least some touching, kissing and the lovey dovey stuffs at times

brain54:
Then you simply have to wait longer bro...

Carry your cross gallantly. If you were patient during courtship then you should be understanding and bear with her now.

Except you were pretending during courtship sir.

Legally married or not changes nothing or shouldn't affect your ability to wait as you did for 2 years. She obviously has less libido than you do.

Or you want to lape her?

Duro!

Na man dey do man

So many of guys here don't even understand the op's pain because you are not in his shoes... no sex for now is a little BIT understandable but not allowing ur lawfully wedded husband to touch,kiss or come close to u in the name of first pregnancy that's just few weeks old is a no brainer... the woman has lost her love for him.

Any pregnant woman who takes konji lightly during gestation period may have complications during child birth. It's a simple medical advice.

Ozzyk:
Thank you.... We don't even talk aside from occasional gists and what to eat
We fit dey bed together make we no talk for hours make everyone just dey press phone

Nawa ooh! una see wetin i dey talk?nna eh! that woman is intentionally punishing you.she just want to drain you emotionally and it's very painful . please don't stamp ur authority as the head of the house before she turn you a SIMPLETON oh .. she's just been emotionally wicked... the thing just dey vex me here... please take this matter serious if u value ur marriage

Maybe you are two minutes man or her conscience is telling her you are not the owner of the pregnancy., cause how will a woman u paid everything on her head still have the odacity to denie you xex after two weeks of ur wedding? Even half of your money u spent on the marriage, you nova chop for her body.. that's too risky toh start with,if don't do something quickly,to find solution,the future btw owna go too dark ooo, don't think things will get better ooo with ds beginning

brain54:
I am not talking about all these your tactics...


And any other thing you posted. But did you consider that it may not be a case of manipulation but just a simple case of she being frigid or having low sexual drive genuinely?

Some people simply have low sex drives and it might not be about manipulation!

As rightly said here, some people do have low sex drives. It happened to me when I newly got married. I had very low libido that my wife was highly troubled and thought I was impotent. I was able to pull through after we had our first child and now she wonders where the energy comes from whenever I try to get close to her. FYI, I have never taken sex enhancers for once in my life but I feel like knacking my wife everyday now.

Mariangeles:
Na so una dey take go outside go pack evil spirit wey full outside, carry enter una home.
When things begin fall apart, una no go open mouth talk wetin una do.
God dey watch all of una!

This is not the matter, the issue is always do all you can to safe your marriage, many women of now adays are using sex as a weapon to fight their husbands and I can tell for free, no sex no happiness in marriage...two men can not be pretending to be opposite gender as how now? If one do not want to be married he can remain single now no crime in that.

.

Ozzyk:
We got married in ending of August
We didn't have anything to do together at all during our 2 year courtship
She's really adorable and a Godly babe to the core
On the second night of our wedding I confirmed she was a virgin
Sadly our honeymoon only lasted Barely 2 weeks before she missed her period
Here is the issue;
Since over a month and some few weeks now she won't let me touch her, in fact it's like my touches irritate her, no sex, no kiss, no smooching, no touching
It sometimes feels we're just house mates who shares same matrimonial bed together
I have tried to talk to her many times about my sexual wellness but she seems not interested at all
My marriage is less than 2 months and I am already over a month sex starved
Perhaps she sometimes complains of pregnancy cramps but this should not com at the detriment of my sexual well being.....
And besides she's goes to work everyday but the moments she gets home she won't let me touch not even slight touches not to talk of sex or romance....
I am already tired 😩

You are a disgrace!

You married a virgin, waited for 2 years, you were having sex and impregnated her during your honeymoon, you want to keep having sex forgetting that her hormones has changed drastically, and she will start having mood swings.

It’s very clear you have not read any book on pregnancy , marriage and fatherhood.

There is a popular saying; if you want to hide something from a black man, put it inside a book and he will never find it.

Instead of you to read, you came to Nairaland to destroy your amazing marriage. I really pity for you.

You are 26, and you can’t do simple research, I am really embarrassed.

These Gen Z are so erratic, and it’s a huge same!

You waited 2 years, banging outside.. but can’t wait 3 months for your wife’s body to re-adjust because you have not read anything but to be tired of your marriage .

Please take a seat!

brain54:
If you waited for 2 years of courtship...

You should put back your waiting cap for 9 months of pregnancy.

By the way I am not a fan of no sex before marriage for the simple reason of sexual compatibility.

I believe these are part of things that should be observed during courtship.

Just be decent about it and not use it as excuse for waywardness!

Like say olosho don't finish outside?

abbey621:
BULLSHIT.....You've obviously not been paying attention, you're still behaving like a child, pay more attention to her and you'll start to notice some things. Take it from me, a soon to be father of THREE!

Gibberish. Op dont follow this nonsense. My wife is 6 months gone and we have been having sex constantly throughout her pregnancy period. Them no born her to deny me sex after spending millions to marry her

Ozzyk:
I just shock when she said that... It doesn't make a single element of sense

Issue like this request calm first before going to Actions.
The calm should be 4week to understand her body...Take Note of that yourself...

Actions after the 4week, if she don't agree...
No special treatment...

Tell her she will stay with your mother for the remaining 8months for nursing...

If she agreed, let her start, within 1month or after maximum, if she don't decide to come back home to you to do the necessary, Sir, Send her back to her family....

WERE LA'FIN WO WERE
It will not make sense to be cheating right now because of this issue, except yourself want to cheat...
Make she give space after two month, make you start dey welcome new partner for your house, instead of hide hide.

NiRfreak:
Most men wey be newly married no kon geh sense again for this country....like clueless.
..
Which planet does 2 weeks pregnancy means no more touching, kissing and sex for a couple.
.
Even 7 months pregnant woman with big Belle still dey knack Deir husband. 2 weeks honeymoon and waiting 9months after delivery seems like something sensible to you?

Hours to labour i still knack. Where them dey see all this yeye wives marry sef. Man go marry another wife abeg

NiRfreak:
Most men wey be newly married no kon geh sense again for this country....like clueless.
..
Which planet does 2 weeks pregnancy means no more touching, kissing and sex for a couple.
.
Even 7 months pregnant woman with big Belle still dey knack Deir husband. 2 weeks honeymoon and waiting 9months after delivery seems like something sensible to you?

It walks like duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck. Some people like Op go still dey ask if it is a duck.

From what Op wrote is it not very obvious that something is amiss with his wife, besides if she is not getting it from him she is most likely getting it somewhere else.

OP goofed on sexual compatibility - she has low drive and you have high drive: no matter what NEVER MARRY HER. Her being a virgin has nothing to do with her low sexual drive, there are virgin that go on to love sex afterwards, some become super promiscuous, so it has nothing to do with that.

The pregnancy story (few weeks) is obviously a tall tale she is telling to keep him at bay.

She seemed to settled for him cuz he was ready available. Me i no dey advice married man, once you have entered marriage; you next step is your call.

DMerciful:
She remained a virgin because she has very low sexual urge.

You're in for a sexless marriage. Pregnancy has nothing to do with this, infact pregnant women need more sex.

Why did you agree to no sex for two years of courtship? You'd have known you two aren't sexually compatible.

You had it coming alright

Look at what you a snr married man is telling your junior colleague. You led me here and I was even thinking it is two years of starvation. Only to see she is a newly pregnant woman. How can you say pregnancy has nothing to do with this? He/she has to give more clarity to her pregnancy symptoms and general state of mind for us to advise fairly.

New couples are usually advised to enjoy their marriage and bond small before belle to avoid starting on this note. You know this.

If u marry a virgin and u have a high libido pls don't get her pregnant until u have enjoyed, explored and satisfied ur sexual urges and fantasy. Lol

A man marries not just to procreate but to get unrestricted sex and now he's forced to wait and hold body indefinitely. This us more difficult because it wasn't planned.

Also married couples should plan having kids. it's not 1st attempt u get here pregnant like u were automatically or default planning for kids on a honeymoon.

Ozzyk:
Thank you.... We don't even talk aside from occasional gists and what to eat
We fit dey bed together make we no talk for hours make everyone just dey press phone

Your 26 ! I guess your from wealthy parents because at that age many Nigerian men are looking for employment or financial stability. I would have advised you not to marry at that age. Your wife will probably be younger making the situation terrible. I wonder how you guys will cope. Both of you should not be having this kind of problem this early in your marriage at your age. Something is wrong. Do a DNA after child birth . I suspect she got pregnant before you had sex with her for first time.

motymop:
If she missed her period about two weeks after your wedding night, it might be a bit early for a pregnancy to be detected by a missed period because ovulation and conception usually happen midcycle. But it's still possible if timing aligns.

If she’s complaining of pregnancy cramps but hasn’t confirmed pregnancy with a test, it’s possible she’s dealing with something physical hormonal changes, health issues or maybe even anxiety or stress that’s affecting her libido and willingness to be intimate with you.

What of the day of the wedding is her ovulation day?

pocohantas:
Look at what you a snr married man is telling your junior colleague. You led me here and I was even thinking it is two years of starvation. Only to see she is a newly pregnant woman. How can you say pregnancy has nothing to do with this? He has to give more clarity to her pregnancy symptoms and general state of mind. New couples are usually advised to enjoy their marriage and bond small before belle to avoid starting on this note.

That is an average IQ of any naija man. Sorry to say that. Thats why they are a disaster in governance. Ego makes them not take advice nor try and learn. They always assume they know it all. They even know your monthly cycle more than you not to talk of preggy symptoms.

@ topic. Its likely symptoms associated with preggy. Everybody and every preggy is diff.
I for an example do not have se'x till I put to bed.

Hate it so much when guys come here to explain women and their hormones. Women related topics, they must comment. Must they put mouth? They have practically sent almost all females here away with their toxicity and ITK syndrome.

Diamond098454:
But you have been sleeping with her throughout your courtship a month of no sex won't kill you

Try dey read sir/ma before commenting

U people just jump to comments section

Pregnancy cramp should not affect your own sexual needs? Lord have mercy!

Skj13777:
Your 26 ! I guess you’re from wealthy parents because at that age many Nigerian men are looking for employment or financial stability. I would have advised you not to marry at that age. Your wife will probably be younger making the situation terrible. I wonder how you guys will cope. Both of you should not be having this kind of problem this early in your marriage at your age. Something is wrong. Do a DNA after child birth . I suspect she got pregnant before you had sex with her for first time.

You could read that he is 26 but you could not read that the wife was a virgin.

Destroy the young man’s home with your useless advice , see mouth like DNA

Ozzyk:
Thank you... The regular sex was only for 10 days before she missed her period
And ever since then there has been nothing like that

$
Oga your wife don notice say u too de nack aggressively during una 10 days regular nacking or she don notice say u no sabi nack well or u no de fit de carry her reach paradise first before u put am.
Bros abeg go beg her and let her know say u be Badoo now u go see am she go open for u normally again.

U suppose to dash me something for this my wisdom and advice oo
$

Ozzyk:
We got married in ending of August
We didn't have anything to do together at all during our 2 year courtship
She's really adorable and a Godly babe to the core
On the second night of our wedding I confirmed she was a virgin
Sadly our honeymoon only lasted Barely 2 weeks before she missed her period
Here is the issue;
Since over a month and some few weeks now she won't let me touch her, in fact it's like my touches irritate her, no sex, no kiss, no smooching, no touching
It sometimes feels we're just house mates who shares same matrimonial bed together
I have tried to talk to her many times about my sexual wellness but she seems not interested at all
My marriage is less than 2 months and I am already over a month sex starved
Perhaps she sometimes complains of pregnancy cramps but this should not com at the detriment of my sexual well being.....
And besides she's goes to work everyday but the moments she gets home she won't let me touch not even slight touches not to talk of sex or romance....
I am already tired 😩

Una never even start she don dey refuse you sechs. Wait make the pikin come out... you go srarve for 600 years... lmao