₦airaland Forum

NiRfreak:
Oga. This is not right at all
At the beginning of what should be your bonding time, she's playing games and manipulation....
These are what you should do.

1. Erase the fact you have in your head that she's godly or good or virgin. Erase it. It no longer count. Otherwise you won't be able to act as a man, even when u are hurting, ur emotional side will be emasculating you..
.
2. Approach the situation practically and zero your mind completely away from having sex with her. At least before marriage u dint die without sex. So don't let her use the sex card to turn u to her slave.
.
3. Insist on pregnancy test
4. Insist on DNA test after 9 months..... Just to get on her nerves and make her agitated that you may not trust her.
5 Don't try to please her, do the barest minimum and no special treat. I beg you, no special treat or outing meant to curry favor.
6 play the same game she's playing. And don't bother her for sex... and don't seek her attention.
7 don't sleep in same room at night..go sleep in the second room.
8 Create scene and lambast her if she tries to gaslight you or flip the script on you for behaving mean towards her. A woman should be able to see your anger expressed as a man when she crosses certain lie. Even if u can't express anger.. voice and act it... No go dey do gentle man for this situation o

Over times she will sit up if she realises u are not taking her manipulation.

But I bet you can't do this because u still see her as a saint who has ur best interest.. Lol.. But she's there manipulating you and trying to be the boss over you. If u don't flip the script, she will turn ur boss, u will have to obey anything she says, and she will make you beg for everything in that marriage

This is the best advise this newly wedded guy will get from this page. Young man, read this post and read it well. Save it somewhere and go through it daily, else you'll start masturbating. Trust me, you'll lose interest in her when you fall to this level. So to avoid falling to this level, STICK TO THE ADVICE I QUOTED

Double0h7:
You’re proving my point. Y’all don’t like women and society won’t allow you to work through this so you take love and relationships as some battlefield. A man cooks and cleans in his own home because he wants sex. If it wasn’t sad it would be hilarious. Anyway, I’m done with this thread so ✌️

can i see your Picture i want to know why comprehension is a challenge

Do you even read anything the OP said or you are here to transfer aggression

He is not just washing plate nd cleaning the house cos of sex, he is also doing it becos he is a " considerate" man .. thats rare you deserve weyre like me i go stress you 4 night nd you go still do house chores as a wife cos you love me tew

In marriage, you must learn its not just about, considerate and compromises thats how we roll, sometimes you wont be in the mood but becos you consider your spouse you just give in thats love there are times i don chop outside, buh i make sure i eat her food gettin home even if naa 1am

Good day my brother! I tried to feel your pain. I was also opportune to marry a virgin lady. I want you to firstly be grateful to God Almighty for the favour of getting your wife pregnant after two weeks into marriage. Many men and women that have the best sexual libido have nothing to show for their efforts since so many years in marriage. Still waiting till now. I understand you that one major reason of you entering into this marriage is SEX but you must include COMPANIONSHIP.
The counsellor that told you to wait for the first semester gave you the best advice if you a Christian. Afterwhich, if no changes then approach your church female counsellor or Pastor's mummy. Then on your side, try to come down to her feeling and practice emotional relief support system with her by engaging in house chores such as cooking, running washing machine even sweeping floors on her behalf sometimes. Create time for weekend outings and unwind together. Change your lightnings bulbs to colorful type and always play slows worship songs and if possible play slow blues in the night while together with her. Ensure you eat together and sit beside each other. Try to get sexy boxers. God will heal your home and you will never lose it in Jesus name.

Diamond098454:
But you have been sleeping with her throughout your courtship a month of no sex won't kill you

Did you read through the post?

Ozzyk:
I tried at first to reason with her excuses throughout last month until last week that it doesn't seem to make sense anymore....
When I talk say she go talk say she no ready give in until after 9 months
You won't even notice that she's pregnant yet
She's very active at her work place, goes to chuch regularly, markets, cook and other day to day activities

She's giving it to another guy back to back.

As in, another guy is mounting her legs back to back. No be everything we go tell you bro.

According to you, a virgin must automatically desire her husband...pshew

Kobojunkie:
Na wa oo! I blame OP for coming here to complain after marrying himself his virgin, whom he desired and wanted ooo! He chose to marry a woman without a sexual history as a wife.

So, like play like play the woman is now, not only an olosho, an adultery, but also a narcissist, all for telling OP— this only after realizing she is pregnant— that she is not interested in sex? 🙄🙄🙄

famouscargo4u:
I suffered same and this has shattered our marriage.

Kai. So sorry for your situation.
This OP should be asking you how you initially handle it which dint work, so he can know what to avoid which may never work

Ozzyk:
We got married in ending of August
We didn't have anything to do together at all during our 2 year courtship
She's really adorable and a Godly babe to the core
On the second night of our wedding I confirmed she was a virgin
Sadly our honeymoon only lasted Barely 2 weeks before she missed her period
Here is the issue;
Since over a month and some few weeks now she won't let me touch her, in fact it's like my touches irritate her, no sex, no kiss, no smooching, no touching
It sometimes feels we're just house mates who shares same matrimonial bed together
I have tried to talk to her many times about my sexual wellness but she seems not interested at all
My marriage is less than 2 months and I am already over a month sex starved
Perhaps she sometimes complains of pregnancy cramps but this should not com at the detriment of my sexual well being.....
And besides she's goes to work everyday but the moments she gets home she won't let me touch not even slight touches not to talk of sex or romance....
I am already tired 😩

marry 4more women so u dont have to wait to knack

Genuine desire cannot be negotiated. A woman either desires you or she doesn't. A councillor cannot bring it back, neither would household chores.

She used sex to lead you on, and she's going to continue using this sex as a major bargaining tool.

You're not the first man this has happened to and you won't be the last.

Loveisgreat:
Good day my brother! I tried to feel your pain. I was also opportune to marry a virgin lady. I want you to firstly be grateful to God Almighty for the favour of getting your wife pregnant after two weeks into marriage. Many men and women that have the best sexual libido have nothing to show for their efforts since so many years in marriage. Still waiting till now. I understand you that one major reason of you entering into this marriage is SEX but you must include COMPANIONSHIP.
The counsellor that told you to wait for the first semester gave you the best advice if you a Christian. Afterwhich, if no changes then approach your church female counsellor or Pastor's mummy. Then on your side, try to come down to her feeling and practice emotional relief support system with her by engaging in house chores such as cooking, running washing machine even sweeping floors on her behalf sometimes. Create time for weekend outings and unwind together. Change your lightnings bulbs to colorful type and always play slows worship songs and if possible play slow blues in the night while together with her. Ensure you eat together and sit beside each other. Try to get sexy boxers. God will heal your home and you will never lose it in Jesus name.

NotOfThisWorld:
Just talk to her, or wait until May 2026 when she will deliver. May 2026 is just around the corner, even though you'll have to give her some time after that as well. You cannot expect her to want to do the do with you right after she puts to bed. She's your wife; she's not going anywhere. Just be patient. Patience, patience.

The longer you live with someone without sex, the more you become sexually uninterested in her. Like a sister.

I don't think she's trying to manipulate him rather, she's in her natural state of very low sexual drive. He fell for the scam of no sex before marriage and now must bear the consequence.

Its also possible she's not attracted to him but just wanna get married. Imagine telling your new husband to wait 9 months after waiting two years of courtship!

Like i said, he had it coming alright. Trust me, there's no way a man thats sex starved can genuinely be happy

pocohantas:
Work is essential and I think it is too early to judge. In my first pregnancy I had no nausea. With my minion I had HG. No two pregnancy or women are the same.

Yes, I agree sex is essential. Not just for the man. Even as a woman I don't tolerate lack of it from him. But it is too early to judge or conclude she is trying to manipulate him. Like I said to him, I do not think a woman can start-off this way in 2 months.

He can marry a second wife if he wants. I understand polygamy if one party fails to fulfill his/her conjugal duties. Someone has to help you. Lol @ injustice. 😂😂😂

OP, I’m sure you’re overwhelmed with all the responses.

Please take a moment to just read up on this topic.

Type exactly how you feel into Google — word for word. You’ll find countless men around the world who’ve gone through the same thing and shared how they managed it.

When you start reading, you’ll begin to see the situation for what it really is — and you’ll know what to do.

Ozzyk:
We got married in ending of August
We didn't have anything to do together at all during our 2 year courtship
She's really adorable and a Godly babe to the core
On the second night of our wedding I confirmed she was a virgin
Sadly our honeymoon only lasted Barely 2 weeks before she missed her period
Here is the issue;
Since over a month and some few weeks now she won't let me touch her, in fact it's like my touches irritate her, no sex, no kiss, no smooching, no touching
It sometimes feels we're just house mates who shares same matrimonial bed together
I have tried to talk to her many times about my sexual wellness but she seems not interested at all
My marriage is less than 2 months and I am already over a month sex starved
Perhaps she sometimes complains of pregnancy cramps but this should not com at the detriment of my sexual well being.....
And besides she's goes to work everyday but the moments she gets home she won't let me touch not even slight touches not to talk of sex or romance....
I am already tired 😩

omotolly22:
Just be patient and give her the benefit of this first trimester which is 3 month

By the second trimester, you guys should be able to have regular sex back

Talking from experience, first trimester is usually the risky part of pregnancy, cramps ,morning sickness, risk of miscarriage etc

But by second trimester, she should be able to comply to your demand, except she is hiding something

Yes I agree with you, the first trimester is usually the hardest, fatigue, morning sickness and all but by the second trimester all of these would have subsided, and sex can be enjoyed during this time.

vowiski:
You could read that he is 26 but you could not read that the wife was a virgin.

Destroy the young man’s home with your useless advice , see mouth like DNA

This guy does not know what a virgin is neither do you. From the story apparently the guy has been played with the virgin deception. That lady used virgin and no sex before marriage to lure him in . Now she has gotten what she wants easily. The guy has just been scammed into early marriage with a professional " non virgin". Anyways I don't know how to help him because he has already married. For men out there pls be wary of ladies that call themselves virgin and say no "sex before marriage " they are one of the worst type in the dating market. Run from them if you can it's a well known trick. The guy married her because she promised sex after marriage only to get the marriage then deny him sex because she is pregnant and according to the calculations it was after the first sex ! I can't fall for that kind of trap. 26yrs old has been played by a lady that probably has been having sex from age 15yrs and has been tough to claim virgin and insist on marriage before sex . This guy fell for the scam neat. I wonder why he does not have senior brothers or worldly family members close to him. The intimacy they had before the marriage mysteriously disappeared because she was a virgin and got pregnant. But the pregnancy did not affect other activities. I laugh is Spanish. Anyways it's well

DMerciful:
I don't think she's trying to manipulate him rather, she's in her natural state of very low sexual drive. He fell for the scam of no sex before marriage and now must bear the consequence.

Its also possible she's not attracted to him but just wanna get married. Imagine telling your new husband to wait 9 months after waiting two years of courtship!

Like i said, he had it coming alright. Trust me, there's no way a man thats sex starved can genuinely be happy

He didn't fall for any scam.
He said she is a lovely and Godly woman to the core. A virgin to top it all. According to your brothers, women like her deserve the best treatment and are eligible for no-sex relationship. Which is exactly what played out. Stop calling it a scam.😃

I agree with you that no sex-starved man can be genuinely happy (with his wife). I read a FB post where couples said it is normal and I felt they were lying in a bid to avoid the elephant in the room. There is no way all is well in their homes.

If she wasn't ready, why get married? There are millions of women that are ready so why occupy space without being ready to show workings?

chidiokay:
. Aunty your paragraph no make any sense, you courted that was a enough time to process and prepare your mind & body for whats to come

when you say " I do" it means you have reached the final stage of processing and you are ready for whats to come, i can you be having unprotected sex n still be shocked getting pregnant ... doesnt make sense

There is an issue inside her she is not just spilling out, she is only using the pregnancy as a cover

Every other you wrote, honestly i wont want to insult you But whats that a man that had 2yrs patience no sex is still the villian inside marriage cos he asked for sex

Guy, you need to be patient for her because of weeding is near . Dont give up, just a test....if you pass she will welcome you to happy married life .

Diamond098454:
But you have been sleeping with her throughout your courtship a month of no sex won't kill you

Do you guys read at all. He said they didn't come together or do the do during their two years of courtship

Be patient with her, my wife was like that when we started.


She'll soon get used to it.

I'm surprised at the comments I'm seeing here.
Are there no married people here?

Bros I understand how you are feeling especially as you have abstained for two years.

Firstly, you need to wait about three months for the foetus to form before touching your wife so as not to cause damage.
Or do you want to risk having an slowpoke child? And even after that there are styles you can't do. Touch your toe, doggy etc are forbidden.

Secondly is the emotional toll of a first time pregnancy on your wife.

If you watch Holy Ghost Service regularly, you will realize that perhaps the most common problem people have in marriage is conception. Nine out of twelve testimonies are always about babies.

You escaped such a big issue please try to make peace with your wife and find a middle ground.
However, there are other ways you can pleasure yourselves, decently, though.

NiRfreak:
Most men wey be newly married no kon geh sense again for this country....like clueless.
..
Which planet does 2 weeks pregnancy means no more touching, kissing and sex for a couple.
.
Even 7 months pregnant woman with big Belle still dey knack Deir husband. 2 weeks honeymoon and waiting 9months after delivery seems like something sensible to you?

Boss, the guy doesn't know how pre-intimacy works before sex, hence his woman is not interested in sex, remember she was a virgin, she is inexperienced, OP should pray another man don't teach her what he has refused to teach her. I'm very sure she is still shy, her no means come in my dear. That's how some women roll but don't force them, just play your roll very well and see the door open.
He wants her to open for him like someone who is used to removing her pant anywhere abi,

Loveisgreat:
Good day my brother! I tried to feel your pain. I was also opportune to marry a virgin lady. I want you to firstly be grateful to God Almighty for the favour of getting your wife pregnant after two weeks into marriage. Many men and women that have the best sexual libido have nothing to show for their efforts since so many years in marriage. Still waiting till now. I understand you that one major reason of you entering into this marriage is SEX but you must include COMPANIONSHIP.
The counsellor that told you to wait for the first semester gave you the best advice if you a Christian. Afterwhich, if no changes then approach your church female counsellor or Pastor's mummy. Then on your side, try to come down to her feeling and practice emotional relief support system with her by engaging in house chores such as cooking, running washing machine even sweeping floors on her behalf sometimes. Create time for weekend outings and unwind together. Change your lightnings bulbs to colorful type and always play slows worship songs and if possible play slow blues in the night while together with her. Ensure you eat together and sit beside each other. Try to get sexy boxers. God will heal your home and you will never lose it in Jesus name.

If he follows this advise. He will live to regret it.
He should sweep, cook, wash plate because of sex. Like wtf. How does a man downgrades himself like a doormats and home slave to a wife because of sex.... He should take her out buy this, buy that... Nonsense.
Our ancestors will be shaking in their graves how stvpid and effeminate we have become

Oga Op act like a man that you are and stop be a simp. Your wife is only manipulating you. She wants you begging her for sex for no just reason.
For convincing sake give her the first trimester of pregnancy and then set some rules regarding sex. Your marriage is damn too early to be going through this wahala.
Act up abeg

motymop:
If she missed her period about two weeks after your wedding night, it might be a bit early for a pregnancy to be detected by a missed period because ovulation and conception usually happen midcycle. But it's still possible if timing aligns.

If she’s complaining of pregnancy cramps but hasn’t confirmed pregnancy with a test, it’s possible she’s dealing with something physical hormonal changes, health issues or maybe even anxiety or stress that’s affecting her libido and willingness to be intimate with you.

Oga life during courtship isn't the same as life in Marriage... They should have informed you earlier...

Marriage changes alot of things... Forget about meeting her as virgin...

Does she really care about you.. Love you as her own body .. ?

You have alot of mental work to do here oo!

Her mindset is not just ready for you,....

You traumatised her first experience

Double0h7:
When you only view a woman’s worth as sex and babies then nothing I say will make sense to you. Two people have become one but as far as a man is concerned that only means sex! Her emotion, psychological, and physical needs don’t matter because you don’t view her as a human being.

The part that blows my mind is that women who enjoy sex and are willing to express their sexuality are tagged farm tools and denied marriage. You search out virgins and demand that they enjoy sex and are willing to preform sexual acts like corn stars. Do you see the pattern. Women are only seen through the lens of sex and are stripped of their humanity by most men.

None of this will make sense to you so enjoy your day.

All these you're saying is balderdash. The man is the ultimate victim here. Humans are sexual beings, men are more active sexually or didn't you do biology? Now marriage is an institution created by human societies for both man and woman to copulate. If the woman is not interested in making the husband happy this way, then why did she get married to him? She could have simply accepted a single life till the day she exits earth than making a man with needs for a partner sexually frustrated.

Skj13777:
This guy does not know what a virgin is neither do you. From the story apparently the guy has been played with the virgin deception. That lady used virgin and no sex before marriage to lure him in . Now she has gotten what she wants easily. The guy has just been scammed into early marriage with a professional " non virgin". Anyways I don't know how to help him because he has already married. For men out there pls be wary of ladies that call themselves virgin and say no "sex before marriage " they are one of the worst type in the dating market. Run from them if you can it's a well known trick. The guy married her because she promised sex after marriage only to get the marriage then deny him sex because she is pregnant and according to the calculations it was after the first sex ! I can't fall for that kind of trap. 26yrs old has been played by a lady that probably has been having sex from age 15yrs and has been tough to claim virgin and insist on marriage before sex . This guy fell for the scam neat. I wonder why he does not have senior brothers or worldly family members close to him. The intimacy they had before the marriage mysteriously disappeared because she was a virgin and got pregnant. But the pregnancy did not affect other activities. I laugh is Spanish. Anyways it's well

My guy, u get the drift. It's really crazy for a man to allow a so called Virgin who is supposed to be naive, kind, and caring to play all these tricks .
Even me till now, I no believe say the lady na true Virgin. And even if she's a true virgin, that lady is ahead of her age and smarter than that guy...
.
If the guy doesn't assert himself and cut out the bullshit, that's going to be the tone that will determine the future marriage dynamics.
.
Hormone and pregnancy for a less than two month marriage can never be a reason for a woman to act mean, selfish and uncaring to a supposed man who waited 2yrs for sex after marriage. That's bullshit.
.
Imagine, the woman actually had substantial control during dating, telling him no sex, while they did all other things like smooching, fingering, kissing, sucking and all..aside her Trump card which is the sex that she rigidly enforced.. Now she got her ring, only to further the game as to have total control on the mans emotions, happiness and decisions using the sex card.

The lady knows what she's doing..... And she's strategic about it, it's simply her game to consolidate herself as the leader of the house so she can get anything she wants... It's left for the guy to break it with hefty consequences or end up a doormat and simp in his own house

Honestly your wife is not helping herself at all. It cannot just quit sex just because of pregnancy. In fact this right time she needs sex most. You mentioned that she was a virgin and one touch she got pregnant. For her not to have difficulties during delivery she needs extensive sex.
May you visit a gynecologist or a specialist on this, they will put more light on it. Guy I fire my wife till a day to her delivery using doggy style.