₦airaland Forum

SpencerForbes:
➜Confront an African parents😂😂😂 Easier said than done😂 🚶‍♂️

I confronted mine at 14, then again at 19, and so on. To do this, you have to dead any ideas/delusions you have of them as gods and begin to see them for the humans they are.

Kobojunkie:
I confronted mine at 14 and then again at 19. To do this, you have to dead any ideas/delusions you have of them as gods and begin to see them for the humans they are.

You are a girl😒 you probably confronted your mum. If you were a guy, the narrative would have been different.

SpencerForbes:
➜You are a girl😒 you probably confronted your mum.

I am a girl because I confronted my father? 🙄🙄🙄

You people and your neverending list of excuses for why you should not be expected to hold your fathers accountable for their hubris... 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
I am a girl because I confronted my father? 🙄🙄🙄

You people and your neverending list of excuses for why you should not be expected to hold your fathers accountable for their hubris... 🥱🥱🥱

Ask any guy that has tried it. I don’t want to sound like I’m telling tales 😂

SpencerForbes:
➜Ask any guy that has tried it. I don’t want to sound like I’m telling tales 😂

Basically, what you are saying is that because their are spineless guys out there like you, therefore all guys must be of the spineless variety? 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
Basically, what you are saying is that because their are spineless guys out there like you, therefore all guys must be spineless? 🥱🥱🥱

😂😂😂 a man won’t treat his son the way he’ll treat his daughter. Fathers believe sons are stronger than daughters so they always restrain but when it is the son, no limit😂😂 Even your uncles won’t support you. And you’ll be termed the black sheep of the family. This isn’t neverland kobo😂😂 this is Nigeria.
🚶‍♂️

SpencerForbes:
➜😂😂😂 a man won’t treat his son the way he’ll treat his daughter. Fathers believe sons are stronger than daughters so they always restrain but when it is the don, no limit😂😂 Even your uncles won’t support you. And you’ll be termed the black sheep of the family. This isn’t neverland kobo😂😂 this is Nigeria. 🚶‍♂️

Notice how most everytime I attempt to engage you, you literally cause me to reach the same conclusion that the sense is truly far from, every time. 😑😑😑

Anyways, make I waka pass, abeg! 😑😑😑

Kobojunkie:
Notice how most everytime I attempt to engage you, you literally cause me to reach the same conclusion that the sense is truly far from, every time. 😑😑😑

Anyways, make I waka pass, abeg! 😑😑😑

Okay so you have a brother
Tell him to try it and come create a thread about it let’s see.

Kobojunkie:
Notice how most everytime I attempt to engage you, you literally cause me to reach the same conclusion that the sense is truly far from, every time. 😑😑😑

Anyways, make I waka pass, abeg! 😑😑😑

Do you know how many times I’ve had to face family meeting cos of what the op is facing. Wake up babe and see reality. Even in your house, I’m sure you’ve noticed that guys are treated differently from ladies. Only few families are different. A traditional Nigerian home won’t take shit from guys but can tolerate from ladies that’s reality

altteemy:
Fighting your dad or his new sweetie would do neither you nor your siblings any good.

The only reason I can hint at for your dad not handling your siblings' school fees is your stance of being against the woman.

If you're old and mature to take Care of your younger ones, you can call your dad to a personal discussion that you would be leaving for your own place. You can give the reason that you don't like the way fights have been happening and this way, peace would given a chance.

I believe he would appreciate and support you being manly and mature on this. If and when you are better off, you can have your younger ones move in with you.

Shouting at him or accusing sweetie would not achieve anything good. Move on to achieve your own greatness.

Wishing you well - Teemy

Why are you suddenly calling a "love peddler" sweetie? Are you perchance a hoe?

natedensel:
My mum died not long ago, and my dad has a hand in her demise because her marriage was a turbulent one and she died of HBP, now shortly after she died, my dad came along with one woman who is very bold and shameless, first off she already has children from another fling not marriage, and now she comes and sleeps over, infact she's not discreet about it she's bold, brazen and doesn't feel ashamed of what she's doing.

Recently she has gotten more relaxed , she used to mind her business, she comes and do her thing and leaves, now she overstays, and she's now meddling in our family affairs, trying to mom me and my siblings now, then turning our dad away from us, now my dad sponsors her and her child from another relationship but neglects us like he did our mom.

I could easily make life miserable for her but I am not interested because I'm moving out as soon as possible, but what about my siblings, she has taken over everything and now she's my father's voice.

The situation is very complex. Your dad is madly in love with this woman and she is ready to do what it takes to hold on to him. Worse, she knows what to do

It might be best you turn to the Bible for advice. It is where you get the best advice (Read Psalms 19:11, Isaiah 55:8,9)

Make peace with the woman.

Let the woman know that she and her child would enjoy themselves in your dad's house but with a caveat: your needs and those of your siblings are not neglected. She's an ass because she feels that's the only way she can hold on to your dad. Let her know that she and her child would have no problem. Perhaps, talk to her son as well. Mothers always want their child protected. You can even add the caveat that one day you and your siblings will leave the house to them.

Just go all the way to make peace with her (Read Matthew 5:38-42)

Talk to your dad. Tell him you know he is lonely after the death of your mum (just say some bullshit). Tell him he has the right to move on. Tell him you want a peaceful house. A house filled with endless quarrels can lead to HBP or a stroke. It is an outcome she too wouldn't like.

The woman unbeknownst to you needs legitimacy, and she can only get it with your endorsement. Acceptance matters to her. It establishes her in the house and she is no longer just seen as an unwelcome usurper. If you promise her no drama and no interference with her and your dad, she might begin to come around. Tell her to also fight for your interests as well with your dad because men under the lovebug can become neglectful. Your siblings can even be calling her mummy.

Don't be bothered if your dad treats her and her child as first class citizens and you second class. It is not a contest. Just focus on your needs and that of your siblings being met. Don't demand too much. If the barest minimum is enough, such as feeding and school fees, then stick to that.

Seek win-win. You be nice to her child. Get him some nice treats. Love your enemies. It works. Read Matthew 5:43-48, Isaiah 55:8-9. His thoughts and His ways are far superior to ours.

There's nothing like peace of mind.

grandstar:
The situation is very complex. Your dad is madly in love with this woman and she is ready to do what it takes to hold on to him. Worse, she knows what to do

You have to confront both your father and the woman. Confront your dad for your rights! Demand it. As for the woman, tell her to push her back when you have to.

Note: It is always essential you live in peace

If you want something that is rightfully yours, make life uncomfortable for the woman. For instance, you want school fees for your siblings.

Lock her out one day and tell your dad she isn't coming inside until your fees are paid. Or go to her child's school and embarrass him there.

Let the woman know that she and her child would enjoy themselves in your dad's house as long as your needs and those of your siblings are not neglected. She's an ass because she feels that's the only way she can hold on to your dad. Let her child knows it is also for his own good as well. You can even add the caveat that one day you and your siblings will leave the house to them. Tell her that you're ready to go to her child's school and apologize for the way you acted.

The woman unbeknownst to you needs legitimacy, and she can only get it with your endorsement. Acceptance matters to her. It establishes her in the house and she is no longer just seen as an unwelcome usurper. If you promise her no drama and no interference with her and your dad, she might begin to come around. Tell her to also fight for your interests as well with your dad because men under the lovebug can become neglectful. Your siblings can even be calling her mummy.

Don't be bothered if your dad treats her and her child as first class citizens and you second class. Just focus on your needs and that of your siblings being met.

Seek win-win. You could even be nice to her child once in a while. Get him some nice treats. Love your enemies. It works. Read Matthew 5:43-48, Isaiah 55:8-9.

Who knows= she might even be the one to start pleading for you.

A boy that doesn’t have where to stay you’re advising him to demand and push back. I laugh 😂
What if he’s chased out of the house or you don’t think it’s possible.

I have heard a similar case but in this one it's a man that came to take over another Another woman that lost her husband, gradually moved in with his children , try to impose and father other Children, took over the house and the woman's business

SpencerForbes:
A boy that doesn’t have where to stay you’re advising him to demand and push back. I laugh 😂
What if he’s chased out of the house or you don’t think it’s possible.

The boy said he isn't worried about himself but about his siblings.

Kicking him out? If he creates a scene that draws sufficient attention to the eviction, immense pressure would mount on his father to take him back. An alternative may be that family may take them. They may be shared.

I am from a polygamous family.

grandstar:
The boy said he isn't worried about himself but about his siblings.

Kicking him out? If he creates a scene that draws sufficient attention to the eviction, immense pressure would mount on his father to take him back. An alternative may be that family may take them. They may be shared.

I am from a polygamous family.

If he’s lucky one of the relatives may take him but if he isn’t, he’ll be scorned for challenging his father. I stood up to my dad at 18 and it wasn’t funny. I think he should be thinking out to get out of the house first. How are we sure his relatives are capable of taking care of him in this economy?

Mind your own business and let your father do what he pleases he is not a child ...learn to stay out of your parents affairs when your time comes you can allow your child to tell you what to do

SpencerForbes:
If he’s lucky one of the relatives may take him but if he isn’t, he’ll be scorned for challenging his father. I stood up to my dad at 18 and it wasn’t funny. I think he should be thinking out to get out of the house first. How are we sure his relatives are capable of taking care of him in this economy?

I will correct somethings I said.

However, if you read most of what I wrote, I suggested a win-win solution for all.

Something ain't right here! The woman's child is a teenager and you swore your father did not emet the woman before your mother hence are you also a teenager?

If you're a teenager then you better stay out of grown folks business and carefully plan your exit strategy once you have enough resources. Are you educated? Do you have a degree? I'm guessing not, so you're really handicapped here and still at the mercy of your father ansd that woman.

It is better you call a cow UNCLE so that you can get to where you need to be than to burn bridges and allow sapa to finsih you off!

grandstar:
I will correct somethings I said.

However, if you read most of what I wrote, I suggested a win-win solution for all.

Yeah but we have to be careful so he don’t make the wrong decisions cos the wrong decision can literally hurt him for life.

natedensel:
The problem is why can't she just LovePeddler herself and leave, why is she now trying to control a family she just invaded few months ago, now she's diverting every support my siblings are supposed to get from their father for her and her child, her grown up teenage child, did you read what I wrote at all? She's now my father's voice like she speaks for him now, isn't it logical to nip this in the bud before it becomes rooted.

before you take any Advise given here seriously, know two things:

1) Check the background of who is advising you, by reading their previous Posts are "knowing who they are". You dont expect a Fly to go against a Man with a Sore, if you get what l mean.

2) This is an anonymous forum, take whatever is useful to you and leave the garbage for the Bin Truck!
Dont try to convince anyone be to rational, People canot give what they dont have.

Know these and Know Peace.

BTW, if your siblings are not too young, you guys can team up and make Life miserable for the LovePeddler too.
Plan, Scheme and Execute, if you think it is worth it.

Some of these LovePEddler Women with No Husband go to extreme length, including using Juju, to capture the Sanity of Men like your Father, he may not even be aware of what he is doing at this moment.

We always pray not to come into contact with such Women, but unfortunately, your Dad has entered her Trap.

These are some of the experiences common in polygamous family or where where elderly siblings start bringing in there wives...some women are home destroyers while some Unites a family.

My opinion, as a grown up young man approach your father with all audacity and question his sudden change towards your siblings, you don't have to be soft make it clear to him that he either settles each of you or take full responsibility as a father. The woman in question you guys should stop respecting her, try giving her a tough time she will withdraw gradually. If you're too calm and soft in this generation your name will remain sorry be bold and shun the nonsense

Kingdomb:
➜These are some of the experiences common in polygamous family or where where elderly siblings start bringing in there wives...some women are home destroyers while some Unites a family.
➜My opinion, as a grown up young man approach your father with all audacity and question his sudden change towards your siblings, you don't have to be soft make it clear to him that he either settles each of you or take full responsibility as a father. The woman in question you guys should stop respecting her, try giving her a tough time she will withdraw gradually. If you're too calm and soft in this generation your name will remain sorry be bold and shun the nonsense

1. An outsider can only do in your home that which the one who allowed him/her into the home have him/her permission or authority to do. The same applies to women who come into your home as wives or girlfriends. Otherwise, the one who brought them in would be the first to call the police on them.

2. Any disrespect directed at his own guest in the house is likely to backfire on the children. Their problem is no the guest but the authority behind the guest... i.e. their father.

What precisely do you mean to "nip her in the bud"? You mean to kpai her?

If you nip your father's new woman in the bud, as you put it, and brings another mistress, will you also nip that one in the bud?

Have you tried asking elders in your family to intervene to counsel him not to neglect your younger siblings?

natedensel:
The problem is why can't she just LovePeddler herself and leave, why is she now trying to control a family she just invaded few months ago, now she's diverting every support my siblings are supposed to get from their father for her and her child, her grown up teenage child, did you read what I wrote at all? She's now my father's voice like she speaks for him now, isn't it logical to nip this in the bud before it becomes rooted.

If you're old enough to leave the house this is the right time to do it, that woman wants to secure her children's future and is ready to wipe out her competitors children.

natedensel:
My mum died not long ago, and my dad has a hand in her demise because her marriage was a turbulent one and she died of HBP, now shortly after she died, my dad came along with one woman who is very bold and shameless, first off she already has children from another fling not marriage, and now she comes and sleeps over, infact she's not discreet about it she's bold, brazen and doesn't feel ashamed of what she's doing.

Recently she has gotten more relaxed , she used to mind her business, she comes and do her thing and leaves, now she overstays, and she's now meddling in our family affairs, trying to mom me and my siblings now, then turning our dad away from us, now my dad sponsors her and her child from another relationship but neglects us like he did our mom.

I could easily make life miserable for her but I am not interested because I'm moving out as soon as possible, but what about my siblings, she has taken over everything and now she's my father's voice.

I'm sorry about your mother's demise, but it seems like you want to continue the work that she failed to finish. It is just unfortunate that your mother chose an indisciplined *** for a husband.


Good thing is that you're moving out. What about your siblings? Are they also independent? I hope God gives your and your siblings the strength and the finances to break free from home. That woman is your mother's replacement and she is likely to make life hell for you and your siblings. So the best thing is to move out.

Fountainofyouth:
How is it that your dad that brought her in and allowed her to show herself is not to blame? I don't get it, instead of you to face your dad you're pushing blame on her why

It doesn't work like that. I am from a polygamous home.

Him attacking the father may make the dad become self-righteous, that he is dealing with an insolent son.

The woman is the weaker link. Whatever way, he has to handle matters tactfully.

natedensel:
The problem is why can't she just LovePeddler herself and leave, why is she now trying to control a family she just invaded few months ago, now she's diverting every support my siblings are supposed to get from their father for her and her child, her grown up teenage child, did you read what I wrote at all? She's now my father's voice like she speaks for him now, isn't it logical to nip this in the bud before it becomes rooted.

If you have an elderly figure that your father listens to, you can try reporting him to this person, but know these: She didn't invade your home. She was invited. She is not a love peddler. She is a replacement. She is not a leech, she has been placed above you and your siblings on the scale of preference. The odds are against you. The sweetest revenge and the best option for you is not to fight what will not go in your favour, but to leave and work hard. It is only a matter of time before karma sets in. I pray God gives you and yours the strength.

Just leave and start a new life for yourself and your siblings, period. Any further time you spend there will threaten your perception of what a good family life is. The toxicity is transmittable.

natedensel:
The problem is why can't she just LovePeddler herself and leave, why is she now trying to control a family she just invaded few months ago, now she's diverting every support my siblings are supposed to get from their father for her and her child, her grown up teenage child, did you read what I wrote at all? She's now my father's voice like she speaks for him now, isn't it logical to nip this in the bud before it becomes rooted.

lol she didn't invade a few months back this is strategic takeover,shes finalizing her last touch now is to move in with her kids..