₦airaland Forum

I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

You're chasing perfection, but let's be real, we're all works in progress - guys and gals alike. If you're holding out for that flawless Igbo babe who's smart and checks every box, you might be waiting a while.

So, are you saying if you meet a chill, caring, intelligent lady, you'd pass just because she's Yoruba? Sounds like there's more to the story, or maybe you just didn’t like her.
🚶‍♂️

SpencerForbes:
You're chasing perfection, but let's be real, we're all works in progress - guys and gals alike. If you're holding out for that flawless Igbo babe who's smart and checks every box, you might be waiting a while.

So, are you saying if you meet a chill, caring, intelligent lady, you'd pass just because she's Yoruba? Sounds like there's more to the story, or maybe you just didn’t like her.
🚶‍♂️

Not at all! If she was yoruba and she is proud of her yoruba name and heritage, I will not ghost her. I will choose a yoruba lady that bears "Kemi Joy Adeyeye" to "Joy Peters". I don't know how best to explain this.

tobeezman:
Not at all! If she was yoruba and she is proud of her yoruba name and heritage, I will not ghost her. I will choose a yoruba lady that bears "Kemi Joy Adeyeye" to "Joy Peters". I don't know how best to explain this.

If you knew it wasn't gonna work, walking away was probably the best call. Trying to change someone is a tough road, and when love's got you blinded, those red flags you ignored tend to pop up big time after a few months. Before you know it, you're clashing over differences. I dig guys who know what they're after and go for it.😎
🚶‍♂️

If the bearing of native name is important keep searching then.

Could you have just mentioned it to her to know the reason for her stand.

Westernization, I don't like parents forcing kids to only speak English and abandon their native tongue 🤷🏿

Exceed15:
If the bearing of native name is important keep searching then.

I'm not sure he's vexed because of 'bearing native name'. The reply the lady gave shows no good will ever come from girls like that.

The young man took the best for himself and his community.

.
Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

@farano @Rocktation @dominique

I support you my Brother
Carry on joor

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

@farano @Rocktation @dominique

I am proud of your decision... Identity is everything!

Good decision. She can keep speaking her lovely English sprinkled with thick African accent.

When I have kids, none of them would bear English names. I make it clear to any girl I talk to. I love English language, it has made communication easier for me, and made me money and equally opened barriers for me; however, it would be disingenuous I embrace another man's language and insult that of my fathers.

How foolish can a person be?

I would rather advise my children to speak multiple languages than speak "I dey go, I dey come." That's why I speak only Igbo to my sister's kids. I only speak English with the one whose father isn't Igbo and my ignorant sister only speaks English to.

Send me her contact , i like girls like that.

Exceed15:
If the bearing of native name is important keep searching then.

Okay, thanks. I will keep searching.

AVECDEO:
Could you have just mentioned it to her to know the reason for her stand.

Nothing she tells me in this case will be justified. I know myself. She is also a Nairalander, so I hope she sees post if it makes it to front page.

Zonefree:
I'm not sure he's vexed because of bearing native name. The replay the lady gave shows no good will ever come from girls like that.

The young man took the best for himself and his community.

You got point! thanks.

duduade:
I support you my Brother
Carry on joor

Thanks

fyneboi79:
I am proud of your decision... Identity is everything!

Yes bro, just like integrity, identity is gold.

SuperOnyi:




Good decision. She can keep speaking her lovely English sprinkled with thick African accent.

When I have kids, none of them would bear English names. I make it clear to any girl I talk to. I love English language, it has made communication easier for me, and made me money and equally opened barriers for me; however, it would be disingenuous I embrace another man's language and insult that of my fathers.

How foolish can a person be?

I would rather advise my children to speak multiple languages than speak "I dey go, I dey come." That's why I speak only Igbo to my sister's kids. I only speak English with the one whose father isn't Igbo and my ignorant sister only speaks English to.

Nice one!

Girls who ain't proud of their native names nor doesn't know how to speak their dialect is a complete turn off for me.

Know how to speak your language but don't sound Igbotic or Yorubatic

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

Cc farano Cc Rocktation Cc dominique

Okay.

You are either not serious or not telling the full story. Girls laughing and joking with you, doesn’t mean you are her type. Get in line, and get real!

SouthSouth1914:
You are either not serious or not telling the full story. Girls laughing and joking with doesn’t mean you are her type. Get in line, and get real!

How can I not be serious at my current age? I am very serious and I just gave the summary of the full story. I don't think i left any important details out of the story. Me wey be say if i see serious person today, i go marry her before January. I would have married her this year if not for that "red flag" that others might not read any meaning to or practically ignore. There are little details that I don't just ignore.

ARISHEM:
Why not Kuku go to the village and find the 110% Igbo wife material or Igbo caricature you are looking for. If not there are tech companies who you can contact to design Igbo sex robots with more than 100 percent AI functionality that defines your required specs

you play too much!

I have seen A-list actresses and musicians like Mila kunis speak Russian, Dua lipa speak Albanian, J lo speak Spanish, Gal Gadot speak Hebrew, Madonna speak Italian...these are born and bred Americans.. but some foolish local naija girl de shame for her language...u did the right thing guy

ARISHEM:
Why not Kuku go to the village and find the 110% Igbo wife material or Igbo caricature you are looking for. If not there are tech companies who you can contact to design Igbo sex robots with more than 100 percent AI functionality that defines your required specs

Aren't u intelligent enough to even understand his posts ??

tobeezman:
How can I not be serious at my current age? I am very serious and I just gave the summary of the full story. I don't think i left any important details out of the story. Me wey be say if i see serious person today, i go marry her before January. I would have married her this year if not for that "red flag" that others might not read any meaning to or practically ignore. There are little details that I don't just ignore.

Atleast you know where you stand. Seek your next adventure!

You will cry when you eventually meet a dumb one with Igbo name

It wasn't about tribal pride but the only reason you rejected her was because she distanced herself from her tribal roots. We like to lie to ourselves to make ourselves seem sophisticated.

Very valid reason. I support you with 3 he-goats and I feel same about people always asking for my child's English name or the English meaning of the name. They expect to hear it means king or blessing. So they can start calling either of that.

Isi adigi mma! 🤡