₦airaland Forum

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

na your problem
if u like reject person wey be ur type because of little thing such as that say e no want dey native and dey run away from certain things.
u still forget say u fit still draw am close still remodel her thinking if she dey wrong
abi u expect factory made perfect human being for u to go into relationship with?
na make me slap u from here oh!

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

Everything in life is all about context!

What's her story?

You're not alone bro. There's more of us out there. Once you are from igbo and you don't answer the name and you don't speak the language, bye bye to anything relationship.

I will always walk away too

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

Well, you over reacted. What you needed to do was find out her reasons for such preferences. Then give her a little time and discuss with her about your version. Let her choose. She could change or decide to be on same boat. You chickened out too easily. I doubt you loved her ever.

You never serious for relationship though the story is a complete lie

So tell us, was it her names or her response that turned you off?

You still have time, do shakara as you want. You go find Chisom Chidinma Chima and will still complain she has no class

Jokes apart, I would take a natural girl with a deep cultural root seriously than any of these Gen. - Z artificial girls. I feel you, and I respect your choice.

You wanted


100%


perfect humans





😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

Yeah! The IPOB vibes

you never ready to mary.

For those quick to react, reread her reply to why she's not using the name at the fore of her identity in such a vast, modern and public oriented space.


That's a sad sad thing to have about your identity i won't lie. She also gave the impression that she doesn't want to change it to a tribal name that she likes if she didn't like the one given her by her parents(assuming it portrayed tragedy or a sad event, some weird sound, or funny meaning)

It might seem harsh but identity is a volatile situation these days and it plays a part in mentality that people want to pass down to next generation.


Could he influence her to change? Yes he can but it might come off as too invading

Could he have encouraged her to see everything in new light while as friends? Yeah

But we all know how many will see genuine, sincere efforts of such nature as offensive.

So he let her be. Sad sad

And why are you telling us?

As long as you don't regret your decision. Keep it to yourself.

So basically you pass up someone you have solid connection with simply because she's not igbotic enough for you? People express Thier cultural identity differently, hers is subtle so what?

ARISHEM:
Why not Kuku go to the village and find the 110% Igbo wife material or Igbo caricature you are looking for. If not there are tech companies who you can contact to design Igbo sex robots with more than 100 percent AI functionality that defines your required specs

Lol. So hilarious.

I suspect that this is another fiction for clicks and visibility but the message resonates with me. Anyone that's not proud of his or her identity is a relationship red flag. I align with your decision to call it off.

If i had my way I would remove my English name from my credentials.

I am proudly Ngwa

Just like I once met a dark African lady in a not-so-black dominated region. Walked up to her to exchange pleasantries, then asked where she’s from, she replied; I’m American! I was like, ohhh, you aren’t African? Her reply? Ohh..my parents are from Congo, but I’m American. I avoided her afterwards..lol.

so,u expect her to say LINDA CHINEDU, OKORO,OKONKWO right b4 u continue?

Thank God,she's nor a begger/give me TF type. U MISS much.


KEEP waiting for ROSEMARY OBINNA OKIJA

dauntless15:
So basically you pass up someone you have solid connection with simply because she's not igbotic enough for you? People express Thier cultural identity differently, hers is subtle so what?

He passed up on her, because she detest her root.

I would have lost interest too. It smacks of very low self esteem. A major red flag for you and your future kids.

Hmmm, Interesting responses so far. @Op please don't bother yourself on whether you did the right thing or not. Just go with your gut feeling.
I am currently in a group where one of the participants, who is Asian but born in America, unapologetically told us today that her family still proudly sacrifices animals to the gods for protection so she is not ready to abandon that practice to save the animals.

And here we are debating whether a woman who literally abandoned her entire identity is right or wrong.

nor mind am. As if same Linda nor jo bear him papa name/pikin wey Linda born for him nir ho bear their papa surname. USELESS THREAD

DMCA:
na your problem
if u like reject person wey be ur type because of little thing such as that say e no want dey native and dey run away from certain things.
u still forget say u fit still draw am close still remodel her thinking if she dey wrong
abi u expect factory made perfect human being for u to go into relationship with?
na make me slap u from here oh!

Bro, this is a valid reason to end any form of contract with her. Her inferiority complex will be spread to your kids if you eventually become serious with her.

PS: most of these lagos igbos are the same. They speak any language while hating on their own.

My woman has no English names, and sometimes i tease her about her and she is always like this my name and i am proud of it. It makes her feel special and she enjoys been called her name over any other.

You did the right thing. However, you should have told her. The lady will not vibe with you traditionally. Don't listen to what people may say; just be yourself to reduce regrets later. BUT LET HER KNOW

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

In Lagos State, they're demolishing Igbo people properties that's why the babe sharply change her Igbo names to English.
If you know, you know.
If you don't mind I like such beautifully sharp intelligent girl, kindly give me her number.

Akun
Abora
Odogbo
Parapuru
Obi
Etc
Patronize me today

tobeezman:
Not at all! If she was yoruba and she is proud of her yoruba name and heritage, I will not ghost her. I will choose a yoruba lady that bears "Kemi Joy Adeyeye" to "Joy Peters". I don't know how best to explain this.

just admit it you are a tribalistic fellow.

Gotocourt:
Westernization, I don't like parents forcing kids to only speak English and abandon their native tongue 🤷🏿

You mean the same Native language that has so divided this nation and makes nothing good to come out of it. keep deceiving yourself, you hear, tribalism has finished Nigeria.

Zonefree:
I'm not sure he's vexed because of bearing native name. The replay the lady gave shows no good will ever come from girls like that.

The young man took the best for himself and his community.

And do you know her reason for dishing the useless Tribe? Do you know what the tribe has done to her or her parents? I still can't believe that in this day and age, the so-called southeasterners who are crying that they are being marginalized in Nigeria today, still have brothers and sisters among them who they regard as OSU. Do you know if she is from that lineage and has decided she cannot align with a useless tribe that will treat her like shit?

Goo0dHardDick:
Girls who ain't proud of their native names nor doesn't know how to speak their dialect is a complete turn off for me.

Know how to speak your language but don't sound Igbotic or Yorubatic

So many kids on Nl.

Most gals prefer to bear English names like Mercy Johnson,Regina Daniel,Rose Emmanuel, Christina Gabriel, Elizabeth Benson,Kate Henshaw,Beatrice Brown etc and practice English accent.

SpencerForbes:
You're chasing perfection, but let's be real, we're all works in progress - guys and gals alike. If you're holding out for that flawless Igbo babe who's smart and checks every box, you might be waiting a while.

So, are you saying if you meet a chill, caring, intelligent lady, you'd pass just because she's Yoruba? Sounds like there's more to the story, or maybe you just didn’t like her.
🚶‍♂️

He should have tried to find out why instead of ghosting, there could be a trauma behind her response because of the way she was so blunt about it, he never can tell! As a tech guy that he is, I expected more

tobeezman:
How can I not be serious at my current age? I am very serious and I just gave the summary of the full story. I don't think i left any important details out of the story. Me wey be say if i see serious person today, i go marry her before January. I would have married her this year if not for that "red flag" that others might not read any meaning to or practically ignore. There are little details that I don't just ignore.

talking as if you are doing her a favor by marrying her, well, guess what, she just dodged a huge bullet. Thank God she didn't marry you.