₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
OP, just so you know, marriage is not by force. A good portion of individuals out there are not married and will never be, and that is OK. If you can find peace in your life as it is today, there is no need or reason for you to need to change it or feel burdened to add marriage(or even children) to the equation.

advanceDNA:
whether you are dangote level rich or not ..most Nigerian women expect you to pay all the bills.....it's just a natural entitlement they think they deserve because they naturally equate their vaglna and being with you to 200billion dollars.....
still, plenty women share bills in their home, when the need comes...but don't table it as something that should be shared by percentage when the need as not come up..
The need: ur income can't carry the whole expense at home....


women don't like to chest heavy bills like rent unless its very necessary......don't go there...

another no go area..... .women only pay tuition when they are single mothers.....they believe they have already contributed more than you by birthing and nurturing........she will feel like you are suffering her by paying tuition if her own child

when it comes to chores, unless u work long hrs and enter only at night or u are hardly around ......treat chores like u are living with your roommate that expects you to help.....it helps your spouse know u care........if it's the cooking u can do, do it often, they will appreciate that u help....... If it's dishes or floor...do it often.....
Its the 21st century....get a washing machine and to avoid some small small fight

if u marry weréy...u go must collect...

If u marry a woman that sees team playing in marriage as a norm, u self treat her as a team in decision making...i.e, like they are not an outsider in the house...


Some women na werey... Weda u share bills or not u go collect... Just marry werey that you can tolerate her madness...because the chance that you will marry werey in Nigeria is higher

But if you get lucky and you nor marry weréy.......respect your wife....your wife go respect you

she should use her money to sort some of her personal needs and that of her own family .. otherwise you go chest plenty bills from in-law side, especially all those give me give in-laws.

SpaceX:
Only people who hate themselves get marry nowadays, name one advantage of being married? There is none.... Most married men don't live long anymore, it's your punishment for getting married.

ariesbull:
As a man or a pure African man... You are expected not to share these things with your wife

Rent
School fees


Others like feeding etc...
You can share

eniolorunfe:
lol 😂🤣 if e easy to increase your earnings to x4, why you never do so since? Sha no go kii yasef. Many women are supporting their families but dem no dey loud am.

grandiose4ever:
Hello everyone,

I have begun to think about getting married.

But for some reason I don't fully understand what to expect or what is fully expected of me as a man in the area of finances.

So I'm asking the following questions to matured married men and women to get clarity?

In your own family

1. If the wife is working class, Is it expected that the man pays 100% of the rent?

2. If the wife is working class, is it expected she contributes towards children school fees or the man pays 100%?

3. If the wife contributes financially, is there an expectation that the man does chores? (Ps I don't want to do any chores in this life apart from occasional cooking lol).

4. If the wife contributes financially how does it affect the decision making in the family?

The last question is ONLY for married men who share bills?

5a. Do you feel respectedby your wife when you share bills with her?

*5b. If you don't share bills with your wife and she keeps 100% of her earnings to herself, what do you think is the purpose of a woman working?

I'd appreciate if the mods can help me get a wider audience by putting on front page. Thanks!

breathless:
1. If the wife is working class, Is it expected that the man pays 100% of the rent?
ANS: Yes. You are expected to "chest" the full rent. That's 100% your responsibility. Remember you took her from her father's house where she knows nothing about paying or sharing rent. However, wisdom dictates that you get an accommodation that's within your means and make projections for future increase.
2. If the wife is working class, is it expected she contributes towards children school fees or the man pays 100%?
ANS You pay the school fees 100% bro. Again, choose a school you can afford and get the termly bill and pay directly yourself. Make no mistake of giving her the money to pay. If she does pay, it should be voluntary or freewill and ensure you reimburse her as soon as you can. However, if she's "magnanimous", she may take care of some things like the child(ren)'s lunch pack/box(es), extra clothing etc.
3. If the wife contributes financially, is there an expectation that the man does chores? (Ps I don't want to do any chores in this life apart from occasional cooking lol).
ANS This can occur especially of your spouse is not the "domesticated" type. She can use it as an opportunity to "rope" you into doing chores. That's when you'll be called to "bring out the food in the freezer to microwave for yourself or the children because she's running late getting home". Trust me, women have ways of making you do things you ordinarily will frown at but you won't due to the circumstances. However, try make yourself useful when at home by taking on some chores intermittently like clearing cobwebs , help iron her clothes for church while she's in the bathroom , clearing and washing dishes together as a way of bonding etc.
4. If the wife contributes financially how does it affect the decision making in the family?
ANS You don't get to make decision by fiat but through dialogue and compromise (which can sometime hurt your ego)
The last question is ONLY for married men who share bills?
I don't share bills with my spouse but she supports voluntarily especially when she senses I'm not financially buoyant and I make up for it in KIND.
5a. Do you feel respected by your wife when you share bills with her?
ANS During my "downtime", I had to reorientate my mind that she was earning her money with my name and what she
*5b. If you don't share bills with your wife and she keeps 100% of her earnings to herself, what do you think is the purpose of a woman working?
ANS Don't go into marriage with this mindset bro. Women want some level of "freedom and independence" including their finances. Let her spend her income the way she deems fit. That's a way to know if she's a good or bad with finances and to what extent you can trust with your finances or that of the family.

As an added bonus, I suggest you both have this conversation not with the mind of sharing financial responsibilities but to build and secure your future financially. Have a goal or plan and be committed to it wholeheartedly. For instance, if you earn more, you can suggest to her to use her income to run the home while yours is put into capital projects like securing landed properties, setting up and running a family business etc.

All the best.

SpaceX:
Only people who hate themselves get marry nowadays, name one advantage of being married? There is none.... Most married men don't live long anymore, it's your punishment for getting married.

grandiose4ever:
Hello everyone,

I have begun to think about getting married.

But for some reason I don't fully understand what to expect or what is fully expected of me as a man in the area of finances.

So I'm asking the following questions to matured married men and women to get clarity?

In your own family

1. If the wife is working class, Is it expected that the man pays 100% of the rent?

2. If the wife is working class, is it expected she contributes towards children school fees or the man pays 100%?

3. If the wife contributes financially, is there an expectation that the man does chores? (Ps I don't want to do any chores in this life apart from occasional cooking lol).

4. If the wife contributes financially how does it affect the decision making in the family?

The last question is ONLY for married men who share bills?

5a. Do you feel respectedby your wife when you share bills with her?

*5b. If you don't share bills with your wife and she keeps 100% of her earnings to herself, what do you think is the purpose of a woman working?

I'd appreciate if the mods can help me get a wider audience by putting on front page. Thanks!

pansophist:
………….

One of the advantages of getting married is that If you intend to raise Godly children, then marriage is the best system to achieve that.

I’ll give you more advantages.

Another one is companionship. The older you become, the more you realise that this life is truly a lonely place. Hedonism and money will not fill that void.

If you marry a good person, then that automatically makes life enjoyable.

If you intend to be wealthy, then being married helps you achieve that. With a partner holding it down for you in different areas while you pursue something else.

Please don’t underscore marriage, it’s bad.

Underscoring the importance of marriage only means one thing, and it’s that the underscorer didn’t come from a healthy home:


Where the work is, is to marry a genuinely good person. This is where most people make mistake hence they hate marriage.

grandiose4ever:
OK thanks

pansophist:
………….

One of the advantages of getting married is that If you intend to raise Godly children, then marriage is the best system to achieve that.

I’ll give you more advantages.

Another one is companionship. The older you become, the more you realise that this life is truly a lonely place. Hedonism and money will not fill that void.

If you marry a good person, then that automatically makes life enjoyable.

If you intend to be wealthy, then being married helps you achieve that. With a partner holding it down for you in different areas while you pursue something else.

Please don’t underscore marriage, it’s bad.

Underscoring the importance of marriage only means one thing, and it’s that the underscorer didn’t come from a healthy home:


Where the work is, is to marry a genuinely good person. This is where most people make mistake hence they hate marriage.

Kobojunkie:
OP, just so you know, marriage is not by force. A good portion of individuals out there are not married and will never be, and that is OK. If you can find peace in your life as it is today, there is no need or reason for you to need to change it or feel burdened to add marriage(or even children) to the equation.

NOETHNICITY:
As a Nigerian and a Muslim, I share zero bill with her. I’m responsible for 100%

BlackPantherxXx:
I pay 100% of the bills and share ZERO. So, the standing rule is - I share no chores except by my own free will.

IF you share bills, it is only fair to share chores. Simple!

I handle breadwinning exceptionally well, there is no reason why wifey shouldn't handle housekeeping just as well.

It is a very poor use of my time to be cooking or washing dishes. And I make that abundantly clear. Take it or Leave it.